@Virgobeauty
15 YearsVirgo
Should you date someone in an on again, off again
No, someone is either all mine or not at all. I'm not going to sit about being hopeful that it's my turn on the wheel. Screw that noise.
It means they are commitment phobes, plain and simple.
Why start something that you have to carry on your back to conclusion, especially if it involves more pain than pleasure menally/ emotionally? People only get into them when they're not in the know. When they are, and they still willingly get sucked in, then they've got some personal work to tackle.
People don't own people ... comprehend that simple concept and you will realize that the answer was in your brain all along.
You will also come to realize that you're happy
Posted by WynterBourne
Yeah I would probably date him until he was 'on' again, then I would be done dating him, permanently.
Why permanently?
New thought: Women come in here all the time to talk about how they like sex, for sex, just as much as men do. And they bitch because they aren't allowed to just date a man because of the slut label ... meanwhile, men are allowed to just date and it not mean anything, and how double-standard that is.
Now, we come upon a situation where a woman can date a man, for the purpose of dating, and she still bitches because it's not more.
Don't want to have to be confined ..... while wanting him to think he has to be.
Which is it? make up your mind, ladies
New thought: Women come in here all the time to talk about how they like sex, for sex, just as much as men do. And they bitch because they aren't allowed to just date a man because of the slut label ... meanwhile, men are allowed to just date and it not mean anything, and how double-standard that is.
Now, we come upon a situation where a woman can date a man, for the purpose of dating, and she still bitches because it's not more.
Don't want to have to be confined ..... while wanting him to think he has to be.
Which is it? make up your mind, ladies
I think these are different groups of women though. I could be mistaken but I don't recall THESE women (posting here now) who are saying they would keep their distance posting before that they wanted free easy hookups without the slut label. They made up their minds. If you are with them, you are with THEM... not them and someone else.
To the topic at hand:
Posted by Virgobeauty
So is it right to date that person anyway?
It depends what you are looking for. If you just want to date for a while and have fun while it lasts, sure go for it. If you are hoping for something more, something long term... I'd find someone else. If this guy you're talking about isn't over the ex don't expect him to be able to make anything permanent with anyone. Of course this isn't 100% and some people would be fine. Still, I think it best to END one thing before beginning another. If they are bouncing back and forth together then there is obviously still something there. Just don't get too attached, not worth the drama.
1 and 2, on point. ^
True, true. Just as I know how to flush twice for the really big moments in my life.
It's me, ...and I really lose sleep over it. Doesn't stop me however. 😛
Well maybe in that time in their life that worked best for them.
Maybe now they are ready for more and wanna be serious
Or maybe they just got out a serious relationship and just want something "light"
There could be a million reasons why.
I think you'd need more information than just one relationship. Like ask about all. See if you see a pattern.
We all have gone thru different phases in our life. You know?
^^ Good Point
Awwwww and I Wuv mah Gem. *snuggle snuggle*
Calm down dxp busybodies, I'm giving him a hug..not nuzzling his nether regions. 😛
I personally wouldn't, because I would feel another person is not fully committed to me. That's why before stepping into a relationship I'd wanna be sure I'm the one and only 🙂
Posted by Virgobeauty
If someone tells you they have been in an "on again, off again" relationship would you still date them?My first instinct is to always stay away because I feel like I'm still stepping on toes...Even though the person may be "off" atm, there's obviously still something that keeps the two connected. So is it right to date that person anyway?
No. Even though we all have to earn another person's trust, I think it's only fair that we date only those who are willing to give us a fair chance. And if you're still sharing yourself physically/sexually/emotionally with someone else, that's NOT giving any new people a fair shot/chance.
I can't date or take seriously someone who can't finish 1 thing before they start another. If that person can't let go of past flings, that's fine, BUT they shouldn't be putting themselves in the dating pool with the REAL "single" people as if they're really open to finding another mate. And hey, if the relationship they're in is turbulent & they keep breaking up, that's fine too BUT they need to keep the rest of the world OUT of it & leave all the single people alone until the couple can decide what they want to do.
It's not fair to date someone new, knowing up front that you're still purposely holding onto past/current ties. No one wants to "share" anyone. If things actually get serious, you'll be competing & then 1 person will always lose & get their feelings hurt. It's not worth it
^ A-damned-men.
Posted by venusianbull
Calm down dxp busybodies, I'm giving him a hug..not nuzzling his nether regions. 😛lol
I have heavy Bull and Sag influences...that probably facilitates the happy E-vibes.
click to expand
Could be. 🙂
Posted by WynterBourne
Why permanently? Because I'm not going to wait for Mr. Happy to be 'off' again so I can go out with him again, then rinse, wash and repeat.I wouldn't feel as excited to date him again, as I did the first time around. I would lose interest.
Losing interest would be a considerable reason, since interest has to be in place to enjoy the company of a friend.
A friend to whom the lady would like to have benefits .. is all this is.
And friend is what a person is who is a date. I took this to mean that to date him, while he has another, is to be defined as hanging out with a guy who is interesting and doing things with him, without it being serious. If you know this ahead of time, which you do in this situation, then it isn't any more than just that ... and why isn't that acceptable?
Some have come on here and implied that if the guy is going to commit, then they wouldn't want to be in this situation and that leaves me bewildered.
Would it then be logical to assume that these same people get jealous over friends? If one of your friends dares to make another friend, then you are outraged and jealous?
This guy isn't boyfriend material, and it's known upfront - straightup - no bullshitting with drama .... so, if you go into a fwb relationship, and you KNOW there is no emotional involvement ... then why on earth would you allow yourself to be emotionally involved to the point of hurting you?
People allow themselves to hurt, they ask for emotional pain ... I hope you all realize this. Because from what I've read in here, I don't believe people realize how hard they make their life to be, when they don't have to.
This topic is put out there, and it clearly describes a fwb relationship ..... and most of the women reading it, can't comprehend.
There is no computing anything other than ........... confinement, bound
They want to talk about being emotionally free with no burdens of commitment so they can be free to be sexual creatures .. but, it's not the truth.
The truth is ... every situation in which involves a woman .. she means to bind him.
Just here, in describing a fwb relationship ... the woman's mind cannot even comprehend it. If the woman cannot comprehend she sure can't live it. So, that means everytime she tries to tell a guy that she isn't serious, that she just wants to have fun.
She's lying .... run, dude, run .........
Posted by QLIbraMale
they make the best friends with benefits, especially since you don't need to sweet talk'm or listen to their problems, just screw the emotions outta their system lol.
Just like that ^^^
I'ma be honest, if the guy was really hot....I'd see it as a challenge..lol.
Did this resonate with you?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
If someone tells you they have been in an "on again, off again" relationship would you still date them?
My first instinct is to always stay away because I feel like I'm still stepping on toes...Even though the person may be "off" atm, there's obviously still something that keeps the two connected. So is it right to date that person anyway?