On being too nice

I was thinking about being "too nice" as a weakness, and I'm not sure that it is. I see it as taking the high road, I just want everyone to get along. It takes too much energy to think negatively, be angry, or cause rifts. I want to maintain civility and do not care for confrontation. It takes a bigger/stronger person to walk away from a fight than to start one. And, it provides peace of mind to just let things go, and it takes a certain inner strength to be able to do so. This is not a weakness, this is a survival strategy.

Trying to make yourself feel better after being called-out on the Pisces board .... once it was realized by all that you're a player, and string men along just to fuck with them?

the nicest people on the boards
Qbone
Mr Nice
Tate
Ian

and the rst of the jackoffs

Sweet. I'll make a t-shirt with "Jack Off" on it.

Well the reason people associate being "too nice" with being "passive" is b/c people that are often too nice are only doing so for the other person. In other words, be nice b/c you feel it is best and not only b/c you want the other person to give you some kind of validation/credit b/c you are doing/being so. There are times when being nice helps a situation and/or might prevent something from getting worse. BUT there are also times when being nice is not the best.

We all have emotions & while yes, we all wish we could be happy 24-7, the reality is that life will through us curveballs that activate other emotions other than happiness. So when you're angry, I'm not saying you should be full out mean, bitter or react out of rage. BUT, if you're angry & the situation calls for the other person to truly know how you feel, pretending to be "too nice" or in other words, like something you're NOT isn't the best for the situation either. It's about being TRUE to yourself & to your emotions, while finding a balance to those very emotions. Not about faking an emotion that's not even in you at the moment. And being nice when you really want to scream not only misleads others BUT it's called "pretending" & doing so is just as bad as overreacting to the emotions you REALLY DO have.

There's a HUGE Difference b/w being mature & knowing when to draw the line vs. being nice. Being "too nice" in situations when the other person just wants to see your true emotions will only create thoughts that the other person is passive and/or without a backbone. And being nice is NOT the ONLY way to successfully & peacefully get through tough situations. Sometimes it creates the opposite effect & makes things worse, especially when another person was counting on you to be honest about how you feel. If you're not happy, don't pretend to be. Don't necessarily frown all day, BUT then again, don't put too much energy into an emotional lie

Mhm.

stop talking about me BB

It's no different than when someone is being too mean or overly-aggressive. Problem is, half the time someone is pretending to portray an emotion that's not really there, is that others can easily pick up on this. And once others are hip/game to the mindgames you are playing (whether they are for valid reasons or not) your whole "plan" fails & backfires, thus people will never take that emotion you're portraying the way you want them to.

If I see someone being too nice, & especially if I can tell they're only doing it to make themselves look great or for validation purposes, I won't even give them the credit for being nice. And in that case, that completely defeats the purpose of that person being too nice in the 1st place. And it's the same for someone being too aggressive; I'll just assume they are doing/being so b/c they want attention or b/c they are trying to "prove" something & in either case, I'll assume it's all an "ACT," and NO ONE likes believing someone else's emotions are all an act.

Some people try too hard to be something they aren't. And once again, I'm not saying one should be extremely mean in a situation where friendliness & peace if much needed. BUT, putting on an "Act" or suppressing emotions only create bigger problems. Problem solving shouldn't happen only b/c 1 person had to pretend to be/feel something they aren't. The real challenge is in being YOURSELF & being true to your emotions, & BALANCING Those emotions (good or bad) & yet still finding a way to get to the same outcome: peace. Passive-aggressivness is not a good thing. It might be a temporary quick fix BUT people looking for easy fixes all the time is often part of the problem & reason friendships/relationships never end up working out anyways.

If you've got to turn into an actor/actress just to keep the peace, something is wrong. Putting on a "show" or an "act" is not something I encourage when it comes to straightening something out with someone. I believe in using AND managing the emotions within a person that are actually THERE/exist & trying your hardest to STILL Find a common ground/place. I agree that "pretending" is way too easy & often creates resentment within the other person later on down the road once they realize they only get what they want b/c they conned people into handing it to them.

As the saying goes, "It's better to be hated for who you are than it is to be loved for who you aren't!"