PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts
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Platonic friendships
Do you ever confide with platonic friends with personal matters? Do you vent the same way you do with female friends?
When it comes to friends of the opposite sex, where do you draw the line?
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXTo be honest, and no disrespect at all, I've been in this situation and I've yet to meet a woman who has been able to hide the fact that she is thinking about leaving her partner or spouse...especially if I'm a confidant. I think our intuition is underestimated in that regard and we often know women better than they think. 🙂Posted by mzmee
When it comes to friends of the opposite sex, where do you draw the line?
I'll vent and ask for advice from the male perspective, but I'll never let them know if I'm feeling like I want to leave my partner/spouse.
You should never make them feel like they have a chance with you.click to expand
With that being said, two points. Me being a male friend, I take it upon myself to not cross that boundary and yes there have been a couple of instances where I had feelings for. Hence, the response MzMee got from other men...we know us. Here is the unresolved quandary. You can't say you trust your partner but don't trust her friends. Realistically you're saying you don't trust her or her judgement and we have to be honest about that.
A Freindship is just that...a Freindship.
The moment you call someting Platonic..well...it's safe to say you are already in a Limbo...
The way i see it...the moment it goes "Platonic" there is only 3 ways out...
It Evolves, it Breaks or it goes back to what it was before being Platonic.
This comment was suported by Plato.
The moment you call someting Platonic..well...it's safe to say you are already in a Limbo...
The way i see it...the moment it goes "Platonic" there is only 3 ways out...
It Evolves, it Breaks or it goes back to what it was before being Platonic.
This comment was suported by Plato.
It depends on the males. Older males are usually good.
Beware of young men wanting "MILF" sex. UGH! I just lived this situation!
I had a nightmare situation that turned bad. Not usually the the norm, but it can happen.
I am a married woman and meet new people on campus all the time at my college.
I know who I am and my marriage status. I love my husband and would never cheat.
I see no problem with having male friends as friends especially if you have to work with them.
Most of the time it is just fine. I think guys are used to the woman calling the shots when deciding if "something sexual will happen". If a woman gives off "NO" vibes, then most guys don't try any further.
BUT.... there are some guys who like the CHALLENGE of "taken" women such as a married woman or "MILF"s (Mothers-I'd-Like-to-F**k).
I had to end a platonic friendship with a younger male student because he was wanting "MORE" than a friendship.
I was "fooled" at first, by his words that he was religious (he said he didn't believe in sex till marriage) and didn't "date" married women of course. We were only friends.
GREAT! I thought he was "safe" except he had LIED and the opposite of what he told me was true.
He later confessed that he was secretly hooking-up with woman (I don't know how many), watching porn and was generally OBSESSED with sex.
When I tried to END the friendship, but he made me feel so bad (how could I be so cruel and abandon a friend?). Also, he didn't actually do anything with me, so what's the problem he said—
So after 9 months of "not getting anything from me" I was sensing his irritability and (sexual frustration).
The final straw (and when I discovered his TRUE feelings) was when I was at a church fellowship event and he became visibly JEALOUS of me talking to another male church member and became angry at the other guy. He looked like he wanted to kill the guy.
After that, I was scared to death that my so-called platonic "friend" had become too obsessed and possessive of me. He was pressuring me to divorce my husband.
He backed off for a few weeks but couldn't take it and started doing CRAZY stuff such as showing up at my campus and house uninvited, professing his LOVE to me in IM's way beyond a friendship ("I love you with every fiber of my being").
He later wanted to apologize and offered to ride me home except he "kidnapped me" had kept me with him and took me to his apartment. Why didn't I escape— From a moving car? No. From his apartment? I tried but he chased after me and I didn't know the "gate code" of the gated community. Plus I needed the bathroom and was tired and hungry. I slept in his guest room.
He finally drove me home, but my husband was FURIOUS at me and him. My husband contacted him and asked him to END his friendship with me.
Keep in mind this is the only male "friend" who got out of hand.
There were some minor problems with a few young guys hitting on me but nothing major.
Beware of young men wanting "MILF" sex. UGH! I just lived this situation!
I had a nightmare situation that turned bad. Not usually the the norm, but it can happen.
I am a married woman and meet new people on campus all the time at my college.
I know who I am and my marriage status. I love my husband and would never cheat.
I see no problem with having male friends as friends especially if you have to work with them.
Most of the time it is just fine. I think guys are used to the woman calling the shots when deciding if "something sexual will happen". If a woman gives off "NO" vibes, then most guys don't try any further.
BUT.... there are some guys who like the CHALLENGE of "taken" women such as a married woman or "MILF"s (Mothers-I'd-Like-to-F**k).
I had to end a platonic friendship with a younger male student because he was wanting "MORE" than a friendship.
I was "fooled" at first, by his words that he was religious (he said he didn't believe in sex till marriage) and didn't "date" married women of course. We were only friends.
GREAT! I thought he was "safe" except he had LIED and the opposite of what he told me was true.
He later confessed that he was secretly hooking-up with woman (I don't know how many), watching porn and was generally OBSESSED with sex.
When I tried to END the friendship, but he made me feel so bad (how could I be so cruel and abandon a friend?). Also, he didn't actually do anything with me, so what's the problem he said—
So after 9 months of "not getting anything from me" I was sensing his irritability and (sexual frustration).
The final straw (and when I discovered his TRUE feelings) was when I was at a church fellowship event and he became visibly JEALOUS of me talking to another male church member and became angry at the other guy. He looked like he wanted to kill the guy.
After that, I was scared to death that my so-called platonic "friend" had become too obsessed and possessive of me. He was pressuring me to divorce my husband.
He backed off for a few weeks but couldn't take it and started doing CRAZY stuff such as showing up at my campus and house uninvited, professing his LOVE to me in IM's way beyond a friendship ("I love you with every fiber of my being").
He later wanted to apologize and offered to ride me home except he "kidnapped me" had kept me with him and took me to his apartment. Why didn't I escape— From a moving car? No. From his apartment? I tried but he chased after me and I didn't know the "gate code" of the gated community. Plus I needed the bathroom and was tired and hungry. I slept in his guest room.
He finally drove me home, but my husband was FURIOUS at me and him. My husband contacted him and asked him to END his friendship with me.
Keep in mind this is the only male "friend" who got out of hand.
There were some minor problems with a few young guys hitting on me but nothing major.
Posted by beautifulsoul74Do you feel like some men use the friendship thing with hopes of being in the woman's life in some form? A piece of her is better than no piece at all? A few guys admitted it. Very few in numbers But they admitted it. And said if given the opportunity, would gladly bang her if the opportunity arises.Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXTo be honest, and no disrespect at all, I've been in this situation and I've yet to meet a woman who has been able to hide the fact that she is thinking about leaving her partner or spouse...especially if I'm a confidant. I think our intuition is underestimated in that regard and we often know women better than they think. 🙂Posted by mzmee
When it comes to friends of the opposite sex, where do you draw the line?
I'll vent and ask for advice from the male perspective, but I'll never let them know if I'm feeling like I want to leave my partner/spouse.
You should never make them feel like they have a chance with you.
With that being said, two points. Me being a male friend, I take it upon myself to not cross that boundary and yes there have been a couple of instances where I had feelings for. Hence, the response MzMee got from other men...we know us. Here is the unresolved quandary. You can't say you trust your partner but don't trust her friends. Realistically you're saying you don't trust her or her judgement and we have to be honest about that.
click to expand
I feel like that don't trust the partners friends comes from the fact that some men who feel that way have either:
A. Banged his previous chick friends, or
B. Feels his chicks friends might see thru his ways.
C. He secretly wanna hit it
9 times out of 10, I've seen this to be the case. VERY rare will a Good guy with good intentions say he doesn't like his chicks friends, unless the friend is truly trifling. Otherwise, he's the trifling one
Posted by VenusIn8thHouse——?
It depends on the males. Older males are usually good.
Beware of young men wanting "MILF" sex. UGH! I just lived this situation!
I had a nightmare situation that turned bad. Not usually the the norm, but it can happen.
I am a married woman and meet new people on campus all the time at my college.
I know who I am and my marriage status. I love my husband and would never cheat.
I see no problem with having male friends as friends especially if you have to work with them.
Most of the time it is just fine. I think guys are used to the woman calling the shots when deciding if "something sexual will happen". If a woman gives off "NO" vibes, then most guys don't try any further.
BUT.... there are some guys who like the CHALLENGE of "taken" women such as a married woman or "MILF"s (Mothers-I'd-Like-to-F**k).
I had to end a platonic friendship with a younger male student because he was wanting "MORE" than a friendship.
I was "fooled" at first, by his words that he was religious (he said he didn't believe in sex till marriage) and didn't "date" married women of course. We were only friends.
GREAT! I thought he was "safe" except he had LIED and the opposite of what he told me was true.
He later confessed that he was secretly hooking-up with woman (I don't know how many), watching porn and was generally OBSESSED with sex.
When I tried to END the friendship, but he made me feel so bad (how could I be so cruel and abandon a friend?). Also, he didn't actually do anything with me, so what's the problem he said—
So after 9 months of "not getting anything from me" I was sensing his irritability and (sexual frustration).
The final straw (and when I discovered his TRUE feelings) was when I was at a church fellowship event and he became visibly JEALOUS of me talking to another male church member and became angry at the other guy. He looked like he wanted to kill the guy.
After that, I was scared to death that my so-called platonic "friend" had become too obsessed and possessive of me. He was pressuring me to divorce my husband.
He backed off for a few weeks but couldn't take it and started doing CRAZY stuff such as showing up at my campus and house uninvited, professing his LOVE to me in IM's way beyond a friendship ("I love you with every fiber of my being").
He later wanted to apologize and offered to ride me home except he "kidnapped me" had kept me with him and took me to his apartment. Why didn't I escape— From a moving car? No. From his apartment? I tried but he chased after me and I didn't know the "gate code" of the gated community. Plus I needed the bathroom and was tired and hungry. I slept in his guest room.
He finally drove me home, but my husband was FURIOUS at me and him. My husband contacted him and asked him to END his friendship with me.
Keep in mind this is the only male "friend" who got out of hand.
There were some minor problems with a few young guys hitting on me but nothing major.
This is what I'm speaking of RIGHT HERE!
Posted by mzmeePosted by beautifulsoul74Do you feel like some men use the friendship thing with hopes of being in the woman's life in some form? A piece of her is better than no piece at all? A few guys admitted it. Very few in numbers But they admitted it. And said if given the opportunity, would gladly bang her if the opportunity arises.Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXTo be honest, and no disrespect at all, I've been in this situation and I've yet to meet a woman who has been able to hide the fact that she is thinking about leaving her partner or spouse...especially if I'm a confidant. I think our intuition is underestimated in that regard and we often know women better than they think. 🙂Posted by mzmee
When it comes to friends of the opposite sex, where do you draw the line?
I'll vent and ask for advice from the male perspective, but I'll never let them know if I'm feeling like I want to leave my partner/spouse.
You should never make them feel like they have a chance with you.
With that being said, two points. Me being a male friend, I take it upon myself to not cross that boundary and yes there have been a couple of instances where I had feelings for. Hence, the response MzMee got from other men...we know us. Here is the unresolved quandary. You can't say you trust your partner but don't trust her friends. Realistically you're saying you don't trust her or her judgement and we have to be honest about that.
I feel like that don't trust the partners friends comes from the fact that some men who feel that way have either:
A. Banged his previous chick friends, or
B. Feels his chicks friends might see thru his ways.
C. He secretly wanna hit it
9 times out of 10, I've seen this to be the case. VERY rare will a Good guy with good intentions say he doesn't like his chicks friends, unless the friend is truly trifling. Otherwise, he's the trifling one
click to expand
That's true more or less. Depends on the situation. What I often see in your first question above is a man and a woman become close friends and usually there is a strong connection between them, but for various reasons that connection is never explored. They become each other's confidants and what happens? The woman dates someone else. While conventional wisdom says the friendship should either end or be drastically lessened, when emotions are involved it's not straight forward. More often than not, both(the friends) will set up boundaries but with the other male this isn't sufficient because he detects the connection between those two. Unwarranted insecurity aside, men are always going to be protective(if they care) of the women in their lives including friends. That is when the two friends need to have an honest conversation about what needs to happen(sometimes it's not necessary because they're mature). Expectations, boundaries, etc. Me personally, I've never had a problem with introducing my female friends to my girlfriends...and for the obvious reason...I want her to know she can trust me and them. I also let her know that she is not in a competition with my friends. She is my number one priority and not in a competition.
Now, I do tend to be cautious when it comes to the women I date. While I don't control who she's friends with I still observe and let her choose. The main reason? To see if she can maintain the boundaries and integrity of the relationship. If she shows me the same consideration. If she doesn't, she's not the right woman for me. To be honest, integrity is something I see as being severely lacking in today's relationships. Often times this boils down to a battle of egos and not what's best for "us." While it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex, the relationship should come first. I'm not saying that one should totally depend on the relationship. I'm saying that one should confide in their lover first. If you can't do that, there are trust issues that need to be discussed.
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