POLL: Where are you meeting these people!?!

We've either all cheated OR been cheated on at some point in our lives.

My question is: If you were the 1 who cheated (emotionally and/OR physically) in the past, WHERE did you meet that person?

-Online dating sites?
-At the club/bar/alcohol-geared setting?
-Through a mutual friend, associate or family member?
-Social networking site?
-Random place? (While out & about?)
-Work?
-School?
-Church?
-Other?

Same question goes for those who have been cheated on (emotionally or physically). I'm assuming you can only answer this question if you were actually aware of the cheating, the person they cheated with AND the details of it all.
Where did your partner meet that person?

I'm curious to know b/c nowadays, people are blaiming these new social networking sites and/or club/bar/strip club settings for why the rate of cheating/divorce has sky-rocketed.

BUT

I'm curious to know if those place are REALLY where the cheating began. Facebook & other social networking sites have now been cited as the reason for every 1 in 4 divorce filings!

What places do you feel are the most common grounds for people who are looking to cheat? Furthermore, what are the most common places for people who were NOT looking to cheat but yet b/c of the environment, got sucked into it anyways?!

B/c of these new findings, I've noticed that people are alot more aware and/or cautious when it comes to their partners being in certain environemtns. BUT, I wonder if the average person is even really meeting their mistress on facebook or in some promscious club setting where there's half naked chicks everywhere!? For all you know, your man has a higher chance of finding his mistress while at Walmart OR while taking his daily jog!

She met him at the bar.

It doesn't really matter though because she had already checked out. If it hadn't been him there it would have been someone else somewhere else.

Posted by SweetLibra
And as far as Facebook goes, I don't even have a facebook. I can't stand it. I get a little annoyed when I find out a love interest of mine has a Facebook profile. A lot of people I know have used it as an avenue to meet people to cheat with.

Understandable. I used to think this too. The thing is, we shouldn't be dating period if we're automatically going to assume that all men are alike or that all men do the same things when put in the same environment.

It's NO secret that facebook & alot of these other social networking sites are like online clubs/dating sites, thus it's no secret that people use those sites to dwelve into forbidden territories. BUT not all men who have facebook use the site for the same reason. Some men can remain perfectly committed even though they're exposed to beautiful women all over the place at any given time.

Plus, there's always the argument that if a man cheats b/c of facebook (or an online site) that he was probably a cheater anyways. In other words, if it wasn't facebook, he would've found a way to cheat anyways, regardless of the environment.

I don't think it's the site within itself that makes/encourages people to cheat. I think it's the easy access & easy opportunity. I think there's alot of men who are so desperate for attention & for a quick/easy ego boost & sites like facebook make getting an ego boost, an easy task to achieve.

For the men that define their manhood by how many girls they screw, sites like facebook are like heaven to them b/c it's the easiest way for them to get all the benefits and/or get laid w/o any effort. BUT, not all men define their manhood in the same way. There are plenty of cheaters who DON'T have profiles on any online site period, so what's their excuse.

I believe that these online sites INCREASE THE TEMPTATION, BUT whether or not each individual has enough self-discipline is what determines whether or not someone cheats, not a website.

I think someone's job is the place they're most likely to meet someone too.

At a club, you may see 1 side of that person (promiscious), but that's it. And even then, what you see in that person is short-lived since the club scene ends in a few hours.

But on the job, you see that person alot. You get to know them b/c you're around them. You have a chance to better observe them, hear them talk, learn how they communicate. And since alot of people eventually get comfortable enough to open up about their lives to their co-workers, it allows outsiders to get a better glimpse of who you are. The more others know about you, the more outsiders have the chance to find out those very same things.

Plus, most partners (especially insecure ones) are trained to NOT be as leary of their partners when they're at work. If anything, most women are more worried about making sure their men aren't out at strip clubs or at the bar or at their ex girlfriend's house. Those are all environments where a man wouldn't have anything to necessarily lose persay his woman busted down the doors to find out what's going on.

BUT nowadays, women are lucky enough to have a man that atleast has a job, so alot of women don't seem to be as insecure or worried when their partners go to work. And even if they did have a reason to worry about their man's sexy new secretary or flirty co-worker, she'd have to seriously stop & think about the consequences persay she wanted to confront her man, his supposed mistress or go make a fool out of herself AND her man at HIS job.

The most dangerous thing about cheating on your partner with someone you work with is that if you have a crazy enough partner who is known for confronting both you & your mistress, the workplace is the LAST place you'd want to bring such drama! It's not worth it. People can lose their jobs, thus lose their stability & ability to provide for themselves & any others they are supporting.

1 of my best friends suspected that her fiance was cheating on her with a girl at work. BUT, she couldn't react the way she wanted to; she couldn't go up to his job & sit around all day & watch/observe. She couldn't confront him or his supposed mistress b/c she knew doing so would possibly cost her man his job (and ohhhhh boy, what hell that would be if her suspicions were WRONG!!!)

I do the same too. And hey, I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging AND recognizing that certain environments pose more temptation. The same goes for strip clubs and/or any atmosphere that is filled with plenty of promiscuity. My man may not cheat all b/c he goes to a strip club, BUT I'd be smart to atleast be aware that strip club atmospheres put him at a higher risk for following the crowd, being lured into forbidden territory, OR bringing out the side in him that probably wants to cheat anyways.

Knowing the risk factor in ANY situation is a good thing. Doesn't mean that you have to react and/or bar that person from going to a specific atmosphere. I do believe that in order for a relationship to work, you have to trust the other person's judgement in most, if not ALL situations/environments. Trying to keep them away from things they'll eventually/inevitably be exposed to won't work. "Sheltering" someone never helps. Same goes with children. The children that are sheltered and/or kept away from everything when young are the most likely to rebel and/or act out when they finally do get exposed to those things.

That's also another reason why I get so upset when I see girls saying, "Oh I know he doesn't cheat b/c he's always with me. He never has time to cheat." It's like honey, your man should be faithful b/c he WANTS to be. He should be faithful no matter WHERE he is. And if the ONLY reason he's not faithful is b/c you have him locked up in a cage, what does that say about the trust & quality of your relationship?!!

Being aware is moreso the key. There's nothing wrong with being aware. I def. do pay attention to how someone interacts with others on fb when I'm dating them. I don't stalk their page or try to analyze everything they do, but I do def. pay attention.

I've been in both positions unfortunately.

I did it. I cheated once when I was 18. It was on my first bf/love. I met the guy I cheated with because he happened to be the next door neighbor of a friend's place. She lived in a duplex and he lived on the other side of the wall. We were all young and in our party phases. He approached us one day and asked if we wanted to buy some speakers off of him and that's how it started. He ended up as my bf in the end and he is my son's father.

In my young, stupid state of mind, the reason I gave in to cheating on my first bf is because he had cheated on me in the past. He cheated on me multiple times and they came from different sources. One of them was my best friend at the time (classic), another was a friend of mine, he joined the army after high school and so he met some on base, he met others at clubs, etc.

I guess my situation can't support your social networking idea because all of this happened around the turn of the century.

I haven't cheated since. I'm pretty sure I haven't been cheated on since.

I did end up being in a situation with an old high school friend where he was emotionally cheating on his gf with me. He was so baaad! He would NEVER bring her around, would only hang out with me (no group activities), had inappropriately touched me a few times, took me out on pseudo-dates... I didn't realize what was going on for a long time though. I was so oblivious. Anyway, as you can plainly see, I originally met him in high school.

It's funny b/c so many women (and I say women b/c I'm a woman & I can only speak for my own kind) are so paranoid about their partner's getting on social networking sites, or going to strip clubs or to bar settings, BUT yet if only they knew, their boyfriends/husbands are more likely to cheat in more laid back settings!

My 1 friend spent so much time trying to make sure her man stayed away from facebook and/or the clubs, that she didn't even realize he had caught onto this & used her insecurities to his advantage! He knew that she'd be looking to catch him at all the wrong places! Little did she know, he was cheating with his co-worker! And the 2nd time he cheated, it was with some girl he saw at school.

Problem is, both of those environments were places that girlfriends usually don't go to that much. I've seen the obvious girlfriends hanging around & being attached to the hip of their boyfriend's while they're out at the club, but yet I rarely ever see a man's girlfriend lounging around in the parking lot of his job or hanging around the school when her man is in class!

I swear I think men recognize the places that women are the most likely to look persay they are insecure and/or suspect something is going on. So why a woman might be following him to see whose house he goes to after he gets off work, little does she know, he's probably bringing his mistress home to THEIR house b/c he knows that's the last place she'll look!

My buddy told me a long time ago that if you want to hide something from your partner, hide it in your bedroom or in THEIR stuff!!! When they go into "Inspector Gadget" mode, they won't even think about searching in their own shxt b/c they'll be so occupied looking in all the wrong places!