Sea Siren
@Sea Siren
20 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 4444 · Topics: 44
The Case Against Marriage
To quote the article:
—The bottom line is that men, not women, are much happier when they??re married,??
I've heard many men say that they don't want to be tied down and, if divorced, never will do it again. So, given the above quote, IMO those statements may be a cover up for what they view as a weakness - in other words, it's what they're supposed to say.
However, The Virgo I'm seeing must be comfortable in his own and fits the quote above in some respects as he has clearly stated that he liked being married and wants to get married again.
—The bottom line is that men, not women, are much happier when they??re married,??
I've heard many men say that they don't want to be tied down and, if divorced, never will do it again. So, given the above quote, IMO those statements may be a cover up for what they view as a weakness - in other words, it's what they're supposed to say.
However, The Virgo I'm seeing must be comfortable in his own and fits the quote above in some respects as he has clearly stated that he liked being married and wants to get married again.
I like this reply from the article:
Laura Labarge
There's nothing wrong with remaining single, staying in a committed relationship or going in and out as opposed to being married. What you do is your own business but these two ladies are out of line to be so arrogant. This was one of the worst (If not the worst) Newsweek articles I have ever read.
Thursday, July 08, 2010, 10:06:03 AM
This sounds like a few young women who are tired of being asked why they are single so they wrote some big rant against marriage. If they don't want to do it, then don't. They make a few good points but most of it came across as a "women only got married in history for survival and we can do it alone now"... good for you? They quote sources that say 2/3 of college women would marry someone they didn't love if that person could provide well for them and then they question divorce rates... really?!
Marriage is good.
Being single is good.
Long term committed, but not married, relationships are good.
Do what makes you happy. Find someone with the same idea or desire (or not if your choice is single) and do your thing.
Laura Labarge
There's nothing wrong with remaining single, staying in a committed relationship or going in and out as opposed to being married. What you do is your own business but these two ladies are out of line to be so arrogant. This was one of the worst (If not the worst) Newsweek articles I have ever read.
Thursday, July 08, 2010, 10:06:03 AM
This sounds like a few young women who are tired of being asked why they are single so they wrote some big rant against marriage. If they don't want to do it, then don't. They make a few good points but most of it came across as a "women only got married in history for survival and we can do it alone now"... good for you? They quote sources that say 2/3 of college women would marry someone they didn't love if that person could provide well for them and then they question divorce rates... really?!
Marriage is good.
Being single is good.
Long term committed, but not married, relationships are good.
Do what makes you happy. Find someone with the same idea or desire (or not if your choice is single) and do your thing.
Posted by LibraSid
Marriage is good.
Being single is good.
Long term committed, but not married, relationships are good.
I can get with that for sure; they are all wonderful alternatives. As long as a person selects what makes THEM happy. Not societal standards, not family and friends - just THEM. I know it's easier said than done because television, religion, family/friends, etc, will ALWAYS play a part in these things, but at the end of the day, a person has to be true to themselves.
There have been numerous studies done Sea Siren that pretty much have shown statistically that married men live longer than single men; however, married women do not live as long as single women.
One of my old bosses used to say this when I quoted those statistics, "Yes, maybe married men DO live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die!" He was just being an a $ $ , but I would reply, "Hmmm, yes, but single women live longer than married women, because the men SUCK THE LIFE out of the women!" He didn't have anything to say to that. Anyway, in similar reading I did many moons ago (I must sadly admit it was some gawdawful women magazine, I believe it was Cosmo - which I haven't read in ages), but there was a story in there that of women surveyed after being divorced, only a 32% range would go back to their ex-husbands, whereas a shocking (to me) 70+% of men would go back with their ex-wives. I was really blown away by that, but one of my cousins and I were talking, and she said it made perfect sense to her, because women (typically) will put up with a hell of a lot more than men will in relationships, but once it's over ... really over, then they see how unhappy they have been, there is no way in hell they want to get back into that relationship. I was in high school at the time, so I didn't really get it, but many years later when me and my ex-fiance broke up - I knew exactly what she was talking about. I felt like an albatross had been lifted from my shoulders, and while we are still friends, I would NOT want to be back in a relationship with him EVER again!
One of my old bosses used to say this when I quoted those statistics, "Yes, maybe married men DO live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die!" He was just being an a $ $ , but I would reply, "Hmmm, yes, but single women live longer than married women, because the men SUCK THE LIFE out of the women!" He didn't have anything to say to that. Anyway, in similar reading I did many moons ago (I must sadly admit it was some gawdawful women magazine, I believe it was Cosmo - which I haven't read in ages), but there was a story in there that of women surveyed after being divorced, only a 32% range would go back to their ex-husbands, whereas a shocking (to me) 70+% of men would go back with their ex-wives. I was really blown away by that, but one of my cousins and I were talking, and she said it made perfect sense to her, because women (typically) will put up with a hell of a lot more than men will in relationships, but once it's over ... really over, then they see how unhappy they have been, there is no way in hell they want to get back into that relationship. I was in high school at the time, so I didn't really get it, but many years later when me and my ex-fiance broke up - I knew exactly what she was talking about. I felt like an albatross had been lifted from my shoulders, and while we are still friends, I would NOT want to be back in a relationship with him EVER again!
Posted by USCTaurusGal
I can get with that for sure; they are all wonderful alternatives. As long as a person selects what makes THEM happy. Not societal standards, not family and friends - just THEM. I know it's easier said than done because television, religion, family/friends, etc, will ALWAYS play a part in these things, but at the end of the day, a person has to be true to themselves.click to expand
Exactly, and that's what I got from the article. I thought they presented it in a very factual way. I found the part about men wanting it more than women so interesting because it was my husband who wanted to get married. I didn't really see the need. I wasn't any less committed to him before.
USCTG, it's funny what you said about married women because I saw another article earlier this week that said married women were the unhappiest people in the country. That's sad. 😢
Posted by buttercupSGPosted by Sea Siren
This is an interesting article on the topic. Thought you all might find it interesting. I did! Particularly the part about how men want to get married more than women.
Oh, and the part about the seven extra hours of housework per week after matrimony is true, too. Actually, it's probably more like 10 extra hours. 😛
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/06/11/i-don-t.html
welll a regular maid service should be factored into the marriage proposal. notice that there is no lol here i'm serious 😄.click to expand
LMAO! Sagi....when you're right, you're right!
@ Sea Siren - yeah, my friend was telling me about a couple of articles pertaining just to that, and one I guess in Newsweek or the New Yorker (I haven't personally read the articles) where a woman wrote a piece essentially saying how she loves her child(ren) but hates her life. This was shocking to this particular friend, because she so DESPERATELY wants to get married and have kids, but after reading these articles, and then listening to co-workers and stuff grouse about being married, she's taking a step back. She's not saying she doesn't want to get married, but she isn't as enamoured with the concept as she was before. Also, for her, I think since a lot of her friends got married in the last 2 years, she feels that void of them not being around. But, THANK GOODNESS, she is dating someone now, because she is the most miserable, and unhappy person around when she doesn't have a boyfriend; even though she complained incessantly about her last boyfriend (and he subsequently told her the "It's not you, it's me, but we can be friends" line and dumped her).
OMG BG - That was hysterical, one of the best lines:
"I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!"
It's sad too, because I have so many friends and people I worked with who were estranged from, and barely talked to or saw their parents. I'm really close to my parents (not much of my other family though), so I can't imagine, it, but it's so true that there are so many people who don't talk to their parents. I can understand not talking to other family members, but not my parents.
"I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!"
It's sad too, because I have so many friends and people I worked with who were estranged from, and barely talked to or saw their parents. I'm really close to my parents (not much of my other family though), so I can't imagine, it, but it's so true that there are so many people who don't talk to their parents. I can understand not talking to other family members, but not my parents.
That person who is writing that site is really, really not happy!
Yeppers Bella. Like I said, once I got older and in a relationship and saw the "reality" of it all, relationships are a LOT of work - in some respects too much work; especially if it's one side.
I agree BG, but I'm one of those people that if I was loaded a. I would have HIM sign a prenup (and I wouldn't be offended to sign one either btw), and b. If I was getting a divorce, I would pay ANY amount of money to get him the hell away from me. Life is too short to be miserable, so none of this 1/3/5 year court battles - take the f@cking money and get out!
^^^I'm sorry to hear that BG. As they say, "Sh#t happens." Sad, but true.
I understand being upset, disappointed, etc, but in order for a person to have a good quality of life (and sanity), people have to learn to move on and let bygones be bygones. Life is just too short to waste on hatred and yes, fury!
I understand being upset, disappointed, etc, but in order for a person to have a good quality of life (and sanity), people have to learn to move on and let bygones be bygones. Life is just too short to waste on hatred and yes, fury!
We've all had some hard lessons to learn...trust me, I know.
I don't care to ever get married, but if it happens, I won't be upset about it. And if it ends, I won't be upset either.
Sometimes things just run there course, nothing is meant to last forever and when it's done then it's just that -- done.
It saddens me how many just hang on to relationships/ marriages just for the hell of it but that's their choice if they want to be unhappy for 2 .. 5 .. 10 .. 25 years. Everyone does things for different reasons I suppose.
Anyway, marriage would be wonderful if/ when I'm ready and the guy has to be serious about it too.
Sometimes things just run there course, nothing is meant to last forever and when it's done then it's just that -- done.
It saddens me how many just hang on to relationships/ marriages just for the hell of it but that's their choice if they want to be unhappy for 2 .. 5 .. 10 .. 25 years. Everyone does things for different reasons I suppose.
Anyway, marriage would be wonderful if/ when I'm ready and the guy has to be serious about it too.
That being said, getting married while skydiving would be a blast 😄 Or, getting married on an island with just a few people (family and friends). Or getting married in the Grand Canyon would be something to talk about 🙂
Getting married while deep-sea diving too, I'd love that ^_^.
Yeah, I need something to hold my interest if I was willing to go though something like that.
Getting married while deep-sea diving too, I'd love that ^_^.
Yeah, I need something to hold my interest if I was willing to go though something like that.
I think there is TOO much societal pressure on how each person SHOULD be. NOT all women fall for the "prince charming" fairy tales. Not all women want to have children and/or a family. Not all women seek the benefits from a man's wallet moreso than his personality/character. Not all women "need" a relationship/companion in order to feel 100% complete. And the same goes for men. NOT all men are commitment phobes. Not all men are dogs/cheaters. Not all men have a problem with marriage and/or committment. Not all men prefer beauty over brains.
Times are changing. I do believe that there has been an increase in the amount of women nowadays who are NOT prioritizing marriage like their elders/upper generation did though. There's been a rise in the amount of single women over 35 years old, but NOT always b/c women are getting crazier Or b/c it's their OWN fault they are still single. There are many different factors for which some women are not making family life their #1 goal. 1st off, there's this huge "INDEPENDENCE" parade going on with all different types of women. They are more focused on proving wrong all those stereotypes that say women aren't good for/don't desire anything more than being a typical suzie-homemaker. Nowadays, women are doing exactly what men have always done: Been focused on their careers &/or defining themselves by how much they can provide for AND impress THEMSELVES! This attitude is an attitude men have had for centuries, thus this sometimes even explains why some men are not focused on commitment as much vs. the reasons only being b/c they're weak/scared. The more someone has to focus on things outside of LOVE, the more likely it is that society's view on where they SHOULD BE/what they SHOULD Be doing becomes irrelevant
Times are changing. I do believe that there has been an increase in the amount of women nowadays who are NOT prioritizing marriage like their elders/upper generation did though. There's been a rise in the amount of single women over 35 years old, but NOT always b/c women are getting crazier Or b/c it's their OWN fault they are still single. There are many different factors for which some women are not making family life their #1 goal. 1st off, there's this huge "INDEPENDENCE" parade going on with all different types of women. They are more focused on proving wrong all those stereotypes that say women aren't good for/don't desire anything more than being a typical suzie-homemaker. Nowadays, women are doing exactly what men have always done: Been focused on their careers &/or defining themselves by how much they can provide for AND impress THEMSELVES! This attitude is an attitude men have had for centuries, thus this sometimes even explains why some men are not focused on commitment as much vs. the reasons only being b/c they're weak/scared. The more someone has to focus on things outside of LOVE, the more likely it is that society's view on where they SHOULD BE/what they SHOULD Be doing becomes irrelevant
Wait....
For those who said they loved being married, what happened? Why didn't you stay married? Widowed? Legit question, not being sarcastic.
For those who said they loved being married, what happened? Why didn't you stay married? Widowed? Legit question, not being sarcastic.
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Oh, and the part about the seven extra hours of housework per week after matrimony is true, too. Actually, it's probably more like 10 extra hours. 😛
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/06/11/i-don-t.html