When they should meet the parents...

A lady on the radio says she introduces her new partner to her parents/children up front early on in the relationship/dating stages. She does this b/c she trusts her parents/kid's judgement & would rather find out how those who mean the most to her (family/kids) really feel about her new "fling," vs. finding out later on down the road when she's already invested in her partner beyond no return. To my surprise, alot of people agreed with her.

What do you guys think?

Is it acceptable to introduce someone you're just recently dating to your parents and/or children? After all, they say that kids will let their parent(s) know immediately whether or not they "vibe" with the other person. Same goes with the parents. Someone's father/mother might be able to determine very quickly whether or not they feel their daughter or son's new date is a good fit or compatible with the family lol.

And hey, to some their family's/kid's opinions REALLY matter early on just like those very same opinions would matter later on down the road persay they were to introduce their partners to their family/kids months/years later.

1 lady takes her father on all of her dates with her. Another woman introduces her date to her kids early on b/c she needs to know immediately & up front how her kids will respond to/vibe with her new date.

I'm assuming there are MAJOR advantages AND disadvantages to BOTH. What do you guys think?

Personally, I wait till I'm pretty serious about someone before I start introducing them to my family. I'm such a private person that it takes a while for me to decide if I want to reveal that part of my world to someone. My girlfriends are the only ones who meet someone I'm dating casually. I can see some of the view points listed above; however, I simply don't agree.

If you have to get your family's approval or thoughts about someone before you get serious with them, it would make me think there's something wrong with your judgement in people. You not being confident in your choice of a partner or someone you're devoting your time to speaks volumes in itself. Also, what makes you think those particular family members are the right judge of character either....? It's hard to tell a book by it's cover, no matter how good people claim they are at reading people....we all have flubbed a few times.

Introducing your perspective partner to your children is a big fat no no to me. I COMPLETELY understand a parent wanting their partner to get along with their children, but it takes time to build a bond like that. Children are NEVER going to automatically accept another man/woman coming into their household and becoming a part of their lives....that takes time and trust. Also, I'm not sure how it would effect the children seeing their father/mother bringing these perspective partners in and out of their home like it's a revolving door...that's not cool to me. Another thing is that parents need to be parents and children need to be children, and that includes parents acting and making decisions like they're adults and on their own. The whole parent-child dynamic should stay in tact without there being a mixing of roles...that's not healthy. It's one thing for a child to have an opinion, but a whole other thing to have a child dictate a parents life and for them to allow it.

Overall and this is just speaking for myself, but I would prefer to get to know someone on my own. If I do decide they are right for me then the introducing begins, and if family or friends don't like that person...oh well. I have to life with that person, not them.

From my own perspective, once I have grown to know a man well enough to think I would like to have a serious relationship with him, I would introduce him to my mom, if not the rest of the family. That's because her character judgements regarding who is compatible with me have never been wrong and I value her input. I've never actually not dated someone based on her assessments, but I could have saved myself a lot of anguish if I had.

As far as kids- not until you are ready to bring the new person into all of your lives in a very serious way! And then if the potential partner turns out to be terrible with kids, he's going to have to go.

I don't care who meets my parents, brothers, cousins, or friends. If they don't scare her off maybe she will meet the kids one day.

Yeah, Norcalman67, my sister was dating a guy that my whole family kept trying to tell her was a bona fide psycho. It wasn't until she came to my house and my very friendly dog wouldn't let him in the front door that she figured out something was very wrong and dumped him.

Yeah i like to introduce my new interest to my friends right away. I value their opinion and they have the advantage of being objective. i also introduce him to my dog (usually the first time I meet him, my dog comes) and if she reacts negatively, its a clue. I do have to say though, I am stubborn as an ox, and I don't always LISTEN. But.. I think I learned that lesson.

It happened after almost 5 years for me.