feeling sentimental

ive been thinking about my scorp. not about getting back together but the whole dui thing and him having to possibly do jail time. i still believe he got what he deserved but i feel bad. i know that if i call him, he will be a snot monster and be sarcastic towards me. and i cant handle no shit like that. he will use it as his opportunity for payback for me ignoring him for months. i feel like if i talk to him, the cycle would just continue. he gets me back and i get him back...etc etc..

i have to admit that the cycle is interesting and fulfilling at times, but its also emotionally draining. things have been boring at the parties. a certain aura isnt there. the tension in the room isnt there. like i said, its boring.

i want him to know that deep down inside, i really do care about him and what happens to him. im not as cold as i make myself out to be around him. i just have to put up this wall for my sanity. he has no idea what its like to love someone and cant express that love because that person is with someone else. its like a wasted effort. i wont live my life as the other woman. im much better than that.

i dont love him anymore and being friends with him is out of the question. we both have alot of pain and frustration with the other. and neither one of us is willing to talk about it.

not looking for advice...just venting.

They are very exhausting

emotionally draining sucks tremendous ass....psychial stamina is another story lol

lol...yea you thinks!

See the I think it's draining on both ends, to both the Sagg and Scorp......

My Sagg tells me I am going to give him a hernia and everything else becuase I have fuck up actions and a fucked up mouth but honestly I don't try to upset him, So it's draining when I don't know what I have done to upset him and it's like pulling teeth sometimes to get him to talk to me once I have set him off.

😢 All this Scorp talk got you thinking huh? It sucks when two people have so much going for them, but just cant seem to get it right.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Maybe just spill your guts and see what happens ?
Maybe it's not all about you though ?
Maybe you need to start showing your hand first a lil more ?
Tbh put it out/get it back always works unless someone sits twiddling their thumbs
(As an aside, then making out it was the other one...)
Gotta say, Saggies don't sound as firebrand as they're always claiming to be, but it has it's own charms.
Chickens are just as cute as ducks imo 😛

naw, thats not happening. this feeling will pass.

Posted by Mebs
😢 All this Scorp talk got you thinking huh? It sucks when two people have so much going for them, but just cant seem to get it right.

its cool. i think i just want to be nosey and see how his trial is going.

im the same way with all my flings, theyre just not that interesting to post about.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
What feeling ?
Elaborate 🙂

hmm feeling of "what are you doing right now."