Sag & Virgo Poly Expectations

Hey all! This is my first post and I apologize for bringing in "the drama" as an introduction, but I always lurk around here whenever I have astrological questions when it pertains to relationships (platonic and non) so I figured I'd put this out there and see what other Sagittarians can tell me.

Basics: I'm married and polyamorous. I'm a Virgo, DH is a Cancer, his girlfriend is another Virgo, and one of my latest, rather ardent, admirers is a Sagittarius.I don't know his wife's sign.

The Sag and I have great chemistry and it's a lot of fun talking to each other and hanging out, but there's something kind of bothering me and it's his question of whether or not I have other sexual partners and plan on having them. As of now, the answer is no, but his tone made it seem like he would have a problem if I did. Considering what we are, my first thought is "Well duh dude, I mean if it happens it happens." but he's going on about how he wants to have a serious relationship with me (which is fine) and insisting on monopolizing any free time I have that isn't spent with my husband or any other activities (which is kind of...erm...smothering in a way? I guess? I don't really know how to describe it.)

Is this normal Sagittarian behavior? I mean, I thought with the whole "freedom loving" thing, he'd relish in me not expecting monogamy from him and to that, I figured he'd not expect monogamy from me.

I've already discussed my relationship philosophy and dynamics with him and he said he was fine, but my spidey senses are tingling; especially since he's talking like we'll be together for years or something.

So if there are any Poly-Sags; would you expect a certain level of monogamy from your non-monogamous partner? And finally, how would you handle your partner beginning a relationship with someone else as well as you; especially if you're already the secondary partner.

Hope this wasn't too jumbled up.

this is so funny because I'm a sag with a venus in aqua and i was just the other day wondering what this would be like

he may be just veeeeeeery curious. sometime we have a way of quenching our curiousity by asking probing questions quite aggresively that may put some people off. the thing is that most won't tell us how they feel about so we'd never know.

Posted by msX
he may be just veeeeeeery curious. sometime we have a way of quenching our curiousity by asking probing questions quite aggresively that may put some people off. the thing is that most won't tell us how they feel about so we'd never know.

You are probably right about this. I told him I appreciate his candor since, during our first date, he expressed some opinions that were pretty contrary my own and I kept having to reassure him that it was okay. I don't need people to agree with me. Truth be told, I find his observations hilarious and the way he states them, hilarious.

So cheers to hoping yeah? He's supposed to be coming to hang out the next time my husband is at his girlfriend's house for a few days. So we'll have some alone time where he can plunge the depths of this shit show I call a brain.

DH= Dear Husband

Posted by Sag89
this is so funny because I'm a sag with a venus in aqua and i was just the other day wondering what this would be like

Since becoming poly the insane level of honesty and communication my husband and I have has tripled. Bear in mind, we already talked to each other about any and everything, but adding other people into the mix means always having to talk about plans, current feelings, possible developments, etc. If you're with someone you can barely talk to for fear of "offending" them, I don't think they'll work well in an open relationship.

To that, it really is VERY freeing. I like having the option to engage in a romantic relationship with someone if I want to. I don't have to be like "Oh, I can't date him/her because I already have one of those." And since I don't view people as possessions, any feelings of jealousy tend to be very short lived. The first time DH spent the weekend with his girlfriend was amazing. I had the house all to myself; drank, tweeted, played a few video games, and just enjoyed the alone time.

Sometimes absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

It's also nice because he has a couple of women to nurture him. He's a Cancer. He always needs attention and reassurance and sometimes, I'm just not the one. So he gets his emotional and sexual needs met without incident and I get my mercurial nature in regards to relations with lovers met as well.

ugh. cancer men are all fuddy duddy! you will have fun with ths sag man.
as a sag woman, i know that i pretty much say what is on my mind at the time, and it comes out as if it is my mantra.
not so.
it is just how i feel at the time, so much so that i won't remember what i said or that i said it later. it is just hypothetical stuff.
so, as a sag, some may think that i want a close relationship or am possessive because i am all into a person at the time.
it's not that...because once i get my answers, i am off to learn about something/someone else.

as far as i am concerned, if i am continuously asking provocative questions of someone, they have my interest. one question a day is enough.
i am still interested. when i stop asking questions or trying to learn about you, i am over it.

If he has scorpio placements hed rather b the only penis n the room

Haha i thought DH = Designated Hitter of your pussy

Posted by DMV
If he has scorpio placements hed rather b the only penis n the room

word.
my venus is in scorpio and i can totally dig that.
that poly life style has got to be the funnest puzzle evers! i bet that is what he is thinking.

Posted by DMV
If he has scorpio placements hed rather b the only penis n the room

Yep, and laying it all out in advance like that - well he knows he's the jealous type and wants things his way...

He's willing to share her with the husband but that's it

Posted by DMV
Haha i thought DH = Designated Hitter of your pussy

Okay, "Designated Hitter" has totally replaced "Dear Husband" as the meaning for this acronym. LMAO!

Posted by Wynter

Posted by DMV
If he has scorpio placements hed rather b the only penis n the room

Yep, and laying it all out in advance like that - well he knows he's the jealous type and wants things his way...

He's willing to share her with the husband but that's it

click to expand

Okay so there has to be some Scorpio in there somewhere. Because I'm talking to him now and I had to, jokingly, call him pushy-mcpushy pants. He asked if I would let him be affectionate with me when he came over (I'm not big on PDA and I don't normally "touch" people for no reason. Not much of a hugger either.) To which I said "Uh yeah sure. I think I'll be okay with that."

He got miffed and was like "You think? I want you to know." Um, okay dude. I don't KNOW. The last dude who was like this actually WAS a Scorpio who tried to hold me by the hips during our first date. (Big. Fucking. No. No.)

Gyah, I'm so attracted to this dude but this is so heavy and I don't want to be like back-off since I don't want him to think I'm not.

You Sags need a manual. I can't with y'all. LOL!