Should I or shouldn't I...

I've gotten myself into a jam. I dated my Libra friend for about three months while she was going through a divorce. I know, I know...shouldn't have done it. The relationship for a while was beautiful and true love, but sadly it ended badly. For the past three months I've been trying to figure out what to do. Part of me wants to move on, the other wants to pursue her again. We've barely spoken or text, and haven't seen each other. I'v done most of the initiating. I've sent her words and cards of encouragement, but I feel that she doesn't trust me, care for me, and I don't trust her. Over the past month, I've asked her out a couple of times as friends, but she gave me excuses as to why she couldn't go. I asked her recently how she felt about me. She said that she loved and cared for me deeply, but she no longer has the feelings of us having a future but anythings possible, she's not ready for a relationship or love, and that the time she would be seemed distant to her. This was preceded by us speaking on the phone a couple of days before. The funny thing is, she's opening up more as to what's going on with her divorce, something she stopped doing months ago, she told me of how her husband has changed tremendously, but I get the sense that she still wants the divorce because she realizes they've changed to a point to where their values aren't the same. A week ago, I gave it another shot and asked her to a concert featuring our favorite artist and she agreed to go. Around the same time, she agreed to go to one counseling session with her husband. I'm confused as to what I should do. I'm seeing the concert as just friends seeing their favorite artist, but I just get the sense that maybe she looking to see if I've changed or to see if something is there. Even when things were bad, she was still very much attracted to me. How should I approach this. Should pursue her? Maybe she thinks that because I'm a little laid back that I should show more interest. But I gave her space out of respect for the fact that she said that's what she needed and that she's going through a divorce. I don't know. Just confused. I want to move on, but still see if something is still there and maybe a future. Help please! Lol

Dude, she's jerking you around. Run.

BS, stop it! How many ways do you need to be told? She has told you definitely no, she doesn't see you like that anymore, she is not interested and you are infatuated. And then on the other hand dangles a little carrot for you to chew on so she still gets your attention and you fall for it! You need to drop her completely and get on with your life and stop excepting the nothings she is offering you!!

Spend more time on you and recognising the beautiful qualities that you have to offer, seriously, you sell yourself very short...It's like you speak one way and act another. Think you will learn a lot in the next few years with your schooling. Congrats with that.

SH

im going to give you the same advice id give to a girl seeing a separated/divorced man whose still in counseling with his wife/ex wife...


dont waste your time. your an after thought. they have more going on than you and her do.

@OP

It depends on......how much connection btw the couple VS how much you love her...—

Sometime we may fall in love with the right one in a "wrong" time...so we need more patient to wait for the "right" time to come.

If they have less connection & U love her very much (if U still consider she is your true love, U should not give up), then U should give her more time to finish her business, it usually takes half year to one year to complete a divorce. And U must be patient...not adding too much stress on her...just trying help her going through such rough time. So there is a chance to win her heart...

Otherwise, U may easily move on with someone who is "free" to fall in love with U.

Good luck 😄

Thanks everyone for your comments. Know what to do.

I thank everyone for their input and comments. The last few months have been a time of reflection for me. I know what I must do. My next comments I want to specifically address to SH.

I know that you and I have talked about this extensively, but a love like this doesn't go away easily and it probably never will. You were married to a Sag for a long time and you know we don't give up on something we believe in on the drop of a dime. The heart wants what it wants and it is not easily controlled and takes a whole lot of time for it to move on. Especially when it finds what it truly wants and loses it. So yes, admittedly, I've been going back and forth and its gotten a whole lot better since time has passed. I go about my life working on me and doing my thing. That is a given. It is something I've always done regardless of whether I'm in a relationship or not. But that doesn't change the fact that I sometimes miss and think about her. It's human nature. If another came a long I would pursue her and give her an opportunity. I've even met a couple of women. One can't have children and is not open to adoption. The other is pursuing someone else who is also in a relationship. Those two are a no go even though they possess a lot of the qualities I look for. So maybe during this time while Im working on me and in school, fate will intervene. Who knows.

BS

Yes I certainly have had a taste of what you Sag's are all about when in love. mine was told "point blank" it's over and there is no going back! Then when I moved countries and he decided to follow I made him say out loud to me that it was for the children only that he was moving too and he did. Regardless, of all this it still took 6 years for him to move on after I finally filed for divorce. I was even told just the other day as my ex sis in law was discussing his upcoming nuptials that he had asked her if I was indeed happy for him. To be told, she is happy for you and now happy she can move on herself.

So I do know how you fool yourself into believing there maybe something in the future if you hang on in there and be the perfect person for them because you believe there is no other....however, in a Libra's mind...if it is made up and our scales have tipped, the decision is final! As I have said before, we don't like to lose you completely, we want to still look favourable in your eyes and maybe from time to time still know you care. i have but one ex through the years that I wouldn't give the time of day to. The rest would openly sit and have a wine or meal or enjoy my company because I made sure that we parted on good terms. It's just the way we are!

Posted by sweethearts
Yes I certainly have had a taste of what you Sag's are all about when in love. mine was told "point blank" it's over and there is no going back! Then when I moved countries and he decided to follow I made him say out loud to me that it was for the children only that he was moving too and he did. Regardless, of all this it still took 6 years for him to move on after I finally filed for divorce. I was even told just the other day as my ex sis in law was discussing his upcoming nuptials that he had asked her if I was indeed happy for him. To be told, she is happy for you and now happy she can move on herself.

So I do know how you fool yourself into believing there maybe something in the future if you hang on in there and be the perfect person for them because you believe there is no other....however, in a Libra's mind...if it is made up and our scales have tipped, the decision is final! As I have said before, we don't like to lose you completely, we want to still look favourable in your eyes and maybe from time to time still know you care. i have but one ex through the years that I wouldn't give the time of day to. The rest would openly sit and have a wine or meal or enjoy my company because I made sure that we parted on good terms. It's just the way we are!

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