sucky sag situation

Sooo.. I've been casually involved with this sag guy that I've know for about a year. Its been on and off but nothing serious, its always light hearted and fun. His ex that he was with for about 3 years moved to another ccountry and him and I started up again. Its always good fun, I stay over at his place sometimes and we cuddle a little afterward but just for closeness. He's aware that I'm not looking for a relationship and I thought he didnt either, which is why our set up worked so well.

But last week when I slept over he kept kissing my forehead which was a little strange for me because we're not particularly 'affectionate' or maybe thatwas me projecting haha. We're strictly physical and I love it being so uncomplicated. On the way home the next morning though I asked him if it made me a slut that I was so okay with juat messing around with him. He said no I wasn't and that we're comfortable and exclusive with each other so its not like we're sleeping around. I concurred and told him I appreciate that hes so cool and never makes me feel like im tied down.

This week though he told me that he feela he should be more responsibile and what I asked him about being a slut made him think that he doesn't want to feel that way or be seen that way and its mot where he feels his life should be heading. He said he felt guilty about us not going anywhere and because he still isnt completely over his ex (I knew that still talked often and I was okay with that, we were just messing around). So I said I understood and I was sorry for making him feel compromised but that I would always be his friend. He went on to say that its going to be so hard because its so incredibly good when we're together and he hopes he doesn't regret taking the moral high ground.

so my question is, why the sudden change of heart and I'm all cool with everything but I really wish we didnt have to call it quits.

1. He was with his ex for 3 years...he is used to having someone around and being in that type of relationship. He misses it.
2. You were rebound...rebounds rarely last anyway.

But when I asked him if he wanted more he said not at this point in his life because he feels like hes not over his ex. If he just didn't want to mess around anymore he could've just said hes over it. Hes always been quite frank so. I'm confused by what he wants.

I highly doubt it's the last time you bang, lol

I can't speak for him, but it sounds to me like he not only misses his ex, but also being in a serious relationship... and he doesn't see a serious relationship with you, so he's letting you know that he will be seeking that elsewhere.

I mean, that's pretty much exactly what he said.

You are keeping him company, and that was fine for a while - took his mind off his ex a little - but maybe he wants something more serious and meaningful like the relationship he had with the girl he admittedly misses so much. He knows he's not going to get that with you, so he wants to move on from it.
Though he doesn't need to ask your permission or really even let you know since you weren't in an exclusive relationship...he's being respectful by letting you know.

But seriously, don't buy that bullshit about him feeling guilty for the meaningless sex....you'll be getting more than one late night text after this is over

Just out of curiosity, I suppose his perception of not having a relationship with me isn't changeable?

I've begun to wonder if maybe I kinda like him a little more than I had thought.

Posted by curiouskitten
Just out of curiosity, I suppose his perception of not having a relationship with me isn't changeable?

If you have feelings for him, it would be best to just be honest.

What's the worst that could happen? He already told you he wants to cut you off.

Posted by curiouskitten
I've begun to wonder if maybe I kinda like him a little more than I had thought.

Saw that coming, lol

Lol ah its kinda moot though to tell him I kind of like him. He already told me hes not over his ex and that he isn't ready for a relationship. But my word the knocking boots is insanely good*_*

He may have sensed that too, idk. Could have been what prompted this chit chat.


I am not sure it is worth your time to get emotionally involved with someone who has straight up told you they are not over their ex and talk to them frequently...........and if you cannot continue hooking up without getting more attached, than he is doing the right thing by cutting you off. He's actually quite gentlemanly for that

Posted by curiouskitten
Lol ah its kinda moot though to tell him I kind of like him. He already told me hes not over his ex and that he isn't ready for a relationship. But my word the knocking boots is insanely good*_*

ha, I should have refreshed before I posted.

We are on the same page then. Sorry dude, find another D

Plenty of D in the sea

He definitely is a gentleman. But thats also why I haven't said anything, I'm not even sure I want a relationship, so I don't want to blurt anything out and feel like I've made a committal step by saying I like him.

Posted by Ssupes

Posted by curiouskitten
Lol ah its kinda moot though to tell him I kind of like him. He already told me hes not over his ex and that he isn't ready for a relationship. But my word the knocking boots is insanely good*_*

Just go over there a lot. If you want more, show him you want more.

click to expand

isnt that a little pushy?

Interesting enough you avoid a complicated relationship... then all of a sudden it gets complicated... hmm there is a lesson to learn in all of this..

Posted by Weeds
Interesting enough you avoid a complicated relationship... then all of a sudden it gets complicated... hmm there is a lesson to learn in all of this..

no shit, right?