Advice for how to deal with haughty Leo friend

I'm a little confused. Either she's a "friend" you feel obligated to or an acquaintance whom "you no longer wanted in your life". You're flip flopping a lot between your expectations of her, while trying to passively distance yourself.

I can only answer how I deal with issues like this and it's quite simple for me. If I don't want you in my life, you are no longer a part of my life. I don't fully understand wasting even a millisecond with someone I don't really like or respect if I don't have to. No tea once a year, no emails. You seem to be going about this quite passively and that may be part of your problem.

On the other hand, if you do want to maintain your relationship (which seems to be what I reading here) then if you don't like how she is treating you when you are in her company, simply tell her exactly that and if she doesn't, cut her off and explain why. I am always very straightforward with my gf (also a Leo) and she knows what lines she cannot cross with me

Posted by Scorpion sting
I;m going round in circles in my head at the moment as to what to do.

I have known this Leo female since I was around 5yrs old and we were close in our teens. She has always been arrogant know it all and egocentric but I excused her flaws as she was a friend. I didnt really want her in my life after we left school at 18 (went to different universities) as I had enough of her stuck up snobbery and control freak nature. Im now 34 and over the last 15ish years, we have only touched base via email or met up for coffee once a year - again keeping her a distance as she isnt someone I confide in about my life.

It was her wedding in November which I was invited to and her Hen Party before that. I accepted to go as she was an old friend and felt an obligation too. Firstly at the Hen Party, there was only about 5 of us and she kept making little digs at me, all night, which made me wonder why. I was perfectly civil and pleasant towards her. I found her very dispectful as she kept pointing at me while talking to me - urgh. Then when we were drunk and got into a taxi for a night club, we were all talking and randomly she started badmouthing my family - especially my dad and told everyone at the hen party about a time when I wasnt allowed out clubbing (when I was 16) and that I ended up lying to parents that I was staying overnight at friends. She said this in a very catty, tone all the while pointing at me in the taxi. I was really shocked by this as I was friendly and happy towards her.

I attended the wedding too -again she would be talking to me but not giving me any eye contact at all. And when I would look at her, she would carry on talking but looking away. How weird. Why invite me to the hen party and wedding if she was going to behave like this? Friends dont do that.

This Christmas, she even sent me a christmas card and an email over New Years. They were both written really nicely - every Jekyll and Hyde.

Id love advice on how to deal with her. Ive had enough.

PS: Im in the UK and she moved with her new husband to the USA.

Simple! Forget about her.

Posted by Scorpion sting
Id love advice on how to deal with her. Ive had enough.

If you're looking for answers, then ask her directly why she behaved that way.

If you no longer care, give yourself permission to cut ties with her, and then do it.


You're only a victim of this woman's behavior if you choose to be.

Posted by xdimplez
I think she wants to know why you have been distancing herself and can't express it well... So she tried publicly poking jabs at you so you can unravel and tell her how you truly feel .

Let's face it, scorpions tend to keep their feelings under wraps. I had to do similar measures to my scorpio ex so that he can tell me how he feels... Even if it was mean and ugly ...

Problem is, try that with the wrong Scorp and you won't get the results you want. You may even see the end of that relationship. Especially if one has been harbouring ill feelings for a long time, which lets be honest a Scorp can do really well.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by xdimplez
I think she wants to know why you have been distancing herself and can't express it well... So she tried publicly poking jabs at you so you can unravel and tell her how you truly feel .

Let's face it, scorpions tend to keep their feelings under wraps. I had to do similar measures to my scorpio ex so that he can tell me how he feels... Even if it was mean and ugly ...

Problem is, try that with the wrong Scorp and you won't get the results you want. You may even see the end of that relationship. Especially if one has been harbouring ill feelings for a long time, which lets be honest a Scorp can do really well.

click to expand

Spot on Phoenix. I have been harbouring this for a long time as I considered her a good (if not close) friend - someone from from childhood. We had our good times too.

Reason why I kept her at a distance all these years is because she has a controlling nature. Eg, I told her about a trip to China in passing last year and her response was ''No, you dont want to go there!'' She's like this with mostly everything - her views/ways are the 'right' away and she disregards everyone elses needs - its like she cant see beyond her own self.

She went too far at her wedding. I think I feel an obligation to stay in touch (or maintain a loose friendship) because I was invited to her wedding. Although I dont want to hurt her - a big part of me wants her completely out my life.

Thanks everyone for your comments.They are appreciated.

Posted by Scorpion sting

Spot on Phoenix. I have been harbouring this for a long time as I considered her a good (if not close) friend - someone from from childhood. We had our good times too.

Reason why I kept her at a distance all these years is because she has a controlling nature. Eg, I told her about a trip to China in passing last year and her response was ''No, you dont want to go there!'' She's like this with mostly everything - her views/ways are the 'right' away and she disregards everyone elses needs - its like she cant see beyond her own self.

She went too far at her wedding. I think I feel an obligation to stay in touch (or maintain a loose friendship) because I was invited to her wedding. Although I dont want to hurt her - a big part of me wants her completely out my life.

In this scenario you don't owe her anything. You owe it to yourself to be honest about how you're feeling and if you don't want that type if energy around you say farewell. Honour your feelings, but also make this clean and respectful and tell her why you're disappearing. It at least gives her the opportunity to address the issue.