Aires & Scorpio - need males perspective

Ok, I know Fire and Water elements are not the norm for a good mix,
but also know that having a complete chart done on both partners
is a must. So I did that and now realize WHY me and my Scorpio
male companion are so compatible. I have my moon and Neptune
in Scorpio.

My question is for any Scorpio male's out there who can possibly shed
some light on this for me - Our relationship started initially slow (we met
a year before we actually went out) and when we started dating, it was fast, and
hot YET we took our time getting to know each another and took our
time becoming intimate and it was an amazing night!! The sex was INCREDIBLE!
I couldn't imagine us being even more connected than we already were, BUT
that night of intimacy was OVERWHELMING (even for an Aires). The nicest part
was that the sexual compatability was in addition to an already formed closeness
on an intellectual. It couldn't get any better. But hold that thought.....

Since becoming intimate, he has withdrawn into a cocoon and I
don't know if the connection we've made (in every aspect) has somehow
"spooked" him about moving forward. I know he was SERIOUSLY hurt
in his last marriage and is very vulnerable and sensitive but I'm having a
hard time dealing with his pulling away from me.

I truly want to give him the space and time he needs to be sure this is a
relationship he wants to pursue and caution is a good thing for both us,
as I'm divorced as well. But my question to your male Scorps is do
Scorpio's "close" the door when they've decided to move on one way or another,
or do you just leave things left undone? I'm definitely someone who
needs closure before I can move on. His take on it is that we'll take it one day
at a time, and if its meant to be it will be, but there's been no contact on his part
since that conversation. Could that just be his way of brushing me off?

Would appreciate any insight you Scorpio males can provide!

I,m not scorpio male but an Aries male so an friend of you.
Strictly from a male point of view I could possibly help because I recognise some male traits here.
I would like to more about the pulling away. Time between last encounters and any other clues.

Smithy, thank you for responding and your offer to help.

We were only intimate ONCE back in late February and since then
that he began to pull away, go within himself and indicate he is
possibly not as ready to pursue a relationship as he first thought.

Our last point of contact was in late April and no contact since then.
He hasn't closed the door to me or the idea, but I believe he is
fearful of moving forward and still stuck on past hurts.

Your "male" viewpoint is appreciated!

Natasha,
mmm I have a few thoughts that something is not right here. I really should be concentrating on you. I do understand about you being stuck and not being able to move on.Thats Aries never giving up.
Anyway, I would like to know how long he was married for and when it ended.
Some things happened to me when my marriage broke up which I in-adveratantley carried forward into another relationship. I also have a very dear sister-inlaw who was in this fated attraction with a scorp she was an aries too and also a late sister who was also an aries and married a scorp.
I think that you may find that these two signs cross paths frequently and there usually are problems along with a heightened passion which is very hard for either to resist.

Smithy, thanks again for responding.

He has been divorced for 5 years and they have a son together
that he has custody of. He always gave me the impression (from
day one) that he was ready for a relationship and wanted to share
his life with someone. I agree I don't think he's put certain things
in his past to rest and perhaps believe that's what he is currently doing.
I am not trying to "obsess" about this but need some closure or
understanding on why he pulled away. Being a male Scorp, opening
up does not come easy for him, so I am trying to be patient because
I believe this relationship to be worth it.

Natasha, sorry could,nt get on last night the page was un-available.
Anyway,
What I thought the problem could have been really probably was,nt. Thats a lot of time in between. Maybe it could be something like this.
If your are really nice person and I think you are sometimes people have dificulty in finishing something for a few reasons one could be that they don,t want to hurt your feelings and they are dropping the hint by staying away or they are not sure of if they are doing the right thing so they don,t do anything which keeps the door open for the future. Any of which leaves you with this dilema which is more the important thing to focus up on closure.
I have been in this position myself left wondering what in the world did I do wrong.
It may be that you have to learn to find the exit door yourself.
Scorps are very deep and they never let you know what they are thinking. So how could this be of any use to you.
As far as I can gather the only control anyone has in a relationship is themselves. You never get another person to do what you want them to do.
Unless you decide this could drive you crazy for as long as you want it to.
I think that there is more to this than you know.
Perhaps this is of some use to you I hope it is.
aries friend

Smithy, thank you for your assistance and take on this scenario.

I agree there are 2 possibilities - he either doesn't want to hurt
me, or he has left the door open for future potential. The first is
something I have thought about too, but what my male Scorp friend
doesn't realize is that leaving things this way, only hurts MORE!

The 2nd possibility - if he needs space/time to deal with issues,
feelings or fears, why not just tell me that? He was open and honest
(cards on the table) from day one. That is why I am struggling
as hard as I am with this. Scorps may not always tell you whats going
on - but I believe its because they don't always know themselves
what's going on within themselves and need the space/time to
sort out what they need to in there own "safe haven".

I also agree, that I may have to find the closure I need within myself
and should the day arrive where he does make contact, I'll deal with my
emotions relative to him at that point. At this point I need to TRY and
move on but admit it hurts BIGTIME. I care deeply for himand
believe we have a real shot at making it something real! Whats the
saying? (and what he also used)...if its meant to be, it shallbe. I
just have to believe that and move on.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post back. I appreciate
it very much!!!

Natasha

Natasha,

I really think you have thought this through you only lack answers which niether of us can provide as to his behaviour we can only guess and I know where my monies going.
Reference the closure part I was involved in a triangular relationship for nearly four years. I know I should,nt have but I did and thats that.
All throughout the time I was kept dangling and like you wanted either yes or no straight, It nearly drove me up the wall with the continual stringing along. Natasha I really wasted 4 years on this and it never has gone away properly every time I pull away it gets easier to go through the door and I have learned that what you cannot see others can that things are not right despite all the eveidence that you are able to provide to the contrary. I know that us Aries like it straight and you will never get messed around if you want a straight answer.
Don,t pay the price I have to learn to judge when its time to move on. Yes your right if its to be then it will but when 5 10yrs time thats a lot of lost time.Try to find it inyourself to be the judge thats you in control and you,ll be glad you did it will serve you well during your beautiful life.
I know it hurts but it always gets better the first few days or weeks are the worst and there is another saying when one door closes another opens.
Good luck and I wish I could help more

Thanks again Smithy!

I am curious tho about something you said - "you know where
your monies going". Are you saying you assume he is involved
with someone else (i.e. the triangle you dealt with in your scenario)?
and possibly seeing where that leads before he decides on me?

He NEVER struck me at the type. Putting issues/feelings about his
past into perspective - yes! Maybe even closing the door to his past,
which I don't believe he actually did - yes! But am confident he isn't
playing games. My take, and only my take is - he cannot move forward
with me, or with anyone else, until he puts closure to his past once
and for all. He may have thought he did, but only during our time
together did he realize just how much he DIDN'T put closure to the past.
Thats not to say he and I will come together again, maybe we will, maybe
we won't, but I take our time together as real and honest. Certainly
not casual or someone playing games. And if feeling that way, and
believing that helps me move forward, than it has served its purpose.

I wish you best of luck with your future relationships and hope
you find the peace, serenity, love and happiness you seek!

Natasha

Natasha,

Sorry I may have misled you I never wanted you to think that there was any deceipt going on with your scorp. I was trying to make a comparison with closure.
The suggestion was that in my situation because I failed to take control and end things myself it led to wasted years.
In your situation we do not know why he is behaving like this. My betting was on him leaving a door open until he sorted himself out. But that could be ages and you could end up being strung along and wasting your time. I think that there is something wrong because these feelings that you have can,t be one sided.

So again sorry for not making it clear and causing you distress.

Thanks for your kind wishes I really need them at the moment.
I hope things get better for you.

Smithy, I didn't take any offence to your comments, just wanted
clarity on your views. Thanks again for your assistance, and I
do sincerely wish you best of luck!!!! Should you need to discuss
your experience, please feel free to post under a different title and
I would love to TRY and help out!

A fellow Aires Friend....
Natasha

Natasha,

Thank-you for your kind offer to help I will take you up on that some time soon.

However, some time has past since you first posted and I may have stopped you getting some replies from scorp males so if there any out there please help Natasha.
Finally I would like to know how your now feeling about all this can you move on without knowing?

Best wishes as always....

Smithy, how am I feeling now? No different than before. As much
as I try to move on, things we talked about, did together and planned
keep haunting me. I believe my scorp friend and I are intuitively
connected. I can feel his pain and sorrow and want so much to reach
out to him, but HE is preventing it. I know this much, I have put my
hand out to him, not once, not twice, but 3 times. No more......at
this point, as much as it hurts, the ball is in his court. What will be,
will be and in the interim I must TRY harder to get on.

Anytime you want to talk about your experience(s), feel free to post
here, or under the "Aires" board.

Ciao for now.
Natasha

Natasha,
I spoke on your unknown behalf today to a male scorp and to my sister ilaw.
None of us could come up with anything substantial to help.
There really is a bit of amystery going on here. Then I thought back to some of the upheavals they had suffered and there always was a familular thread to their problems.
So this is just a theory just a theory
have you ever and you,ll need to think hard about this done anything which may remotely have caused him to feel jealous
and insecure. Remember I am Aries too.
Sometimes even the slight remark or action can trigger something off in their minds sometimes peole use this tactic to make peole want them more. As inocent as you may think something that you said which perhaps you would not consider was a threat could be mis-interpreted.

I hope you don,t mind

Amorie Mio
SMITHY

Smithy, you read my mind. I have gone over EVERYTHING I have
said to him, his response, etc etc. I don't know if I have hurt him,
or made him feel insecure. The one night of intimacy was pretty
powerful but when he went quiet on me afterwards I "thought" he
was withdrawing from me in an emotional way. I have to admit
I left that evening without saying anything. When we talked about it
later, I told him why I left the way I did, I thought he needed space
and/or time to deal with what just transpired because I felt him pull
away "emotionallly". He said he didn't mean to hurt me, and didn't
mean to make me feel like he had pulled away, he was just enjoying
the "moment" and was thinking "what am I thinking". Could that be
a potential thing that could have made him feel insecure??

I appreciate you talking with your male scorp friend and sister-in-law.
I certainly don't mind and welcome their input. I know my male scorp
friend is sensitive (moreso than he wants me or anyone to think), and
he has to know that if I did hurt him that night by leaving the way I did,
it was merely a re-action to MY hurt feelings, and not my intent to
hurt him (and told him so).

Again, appreciate the time and thought you have put into this. I
cannot tell you enough how much I sincerely appreciate your input,
considering nobody else has posted a reply.

Natasha

Natasha
There is still something missing here a few pieces here and there.
I,m not so certain this is an astrological problem. Except for you being unable to move on until you know.
I checked out a few Aries forecasts for July and August.
July says that don,t cut of your nose to spite your face things that are being offered may not be those that you want that comes later. August is full of surprises.
All ariens should be fixed before the years end unless they don,t want to be
I wonder if thats you don,t want to be gonna hang on an see this thing out.

Why don,t you go back in for a fourth time. I know you said that the balls in his court and I believe it is. But we have to get you either in or out of this soon.

I still cannot work this one out There was something in the quiet that followed the passion but I think you put that right.

be great today
Smithy

Smithy, 4th time? Not right now anyway. I have to try and leave
this alone for awhile and get myself together and hang onto the
belief that we will come full circle when/if its meant to be. Maybe
this is part of the process we BOTh need to go through in order
to come together in a more committed, clear way? How's that
for a POSITIVE Aires? Not trying to hang on to whats not there
(potentially) but am POSITIVE this was/is real and he cannot
ignore it forever. It was THAT powerful of a connection!

In the meantime, I am trying to move on with other areas of
my life needing my full attention right now, and probably a
blessing since it will help take my mind off Mr. Scorp for awhile.

I will continue to check back on this board should you, or others
have any further insight. But I also agree, it goes beyond Astrology.
Just had hoped someone else could relate to some degree.

Thanks again - you are a gem!!
Natasha

Natasha,

You sound really great and being positive suits you more. I too believe that sometime you will have a new opportunity with this scorp they are always fated and planned on a much higher level than you or I. This may have been a test for you remember the lessons well.
I will continue having good thoughts for you.
Who knows maybe I will need your help I know you will be there. Post up again on Aries or this I will be watching

Au revoir my friend and take care

x

Natasha, Scorpios don't handle hurt very well. It's possible he pulled away because he was scared of getting hurt again.