exploring emotions through sex

is something i used to do a lot - sex was used as much as conversation for me to get to know somebody. it was a way for me to literally and metaphorically "enter" into a girl's personal space which, to me, is imperative in any close relationship. on a lesser level, any kind of physical intimacy also breeds the familiarity that is needed for me to really get to know a girl - as i get older i wonder if this is healthy? i really used sex as a social tool without ever knowing it, and now being refused physical intimacy makes me feel like the person involved isn't interested, which in turn makes me moody and makes me want to stop trying for a relationship altogether.

i really hate casual sex, but i also don't want to accept the possibility that it's necessary sometimes in order to get those "wild" urges out. i want to have sex with the possibility of something still there in the morning, but by that same token it's so difficult because sex does complicate things a lot. i don't want to have to maintain a relationship with a girl who i like but have to maintain a separate, purely sexual relationship with another girl because that's not fair to anyone. and i'm having trouble finding a girl who understands my need for sex as both an emotional and physical exercise? does this make sense? i always either find the good girl who doesn't want to put out or the bad girl who doesn't want a relationship. and right now the good girl is driving me nuts!

oh dxpers, where's my justice!

Move on.

lady-m, thank you for your absolutely brilliant advice. next time try and be more brief, it gave me a headache trying to read through your whole post in one sitting.

Anytime, its what i'm here for.

If she is truly worth it, you'd deal.
If not, move on.
No need to waste any the two of your times.

You've acknowledged you have an issue...you equate love and sex. BIG REVELATION here. You clearly dont feel the need to fix it, you'd rather have it accomodated. So, until that time continue the pattern.


Is that enough for you...dont hurt yourself sifting through the sea of diction wreck boy.

ugh. this has nothing to do with love. any water signs out there have anything worthwhile to contribute?

my point exactly.

"any water signs out there have anything worthwhile to contribute?"

I see your only looking for affirmations as oppose to perspective.

Thank you branh.

you know, only an intellectual would think so. this is not an intellectual issue, unfortunately, so both your -assed attempts at analyzing that which is NOT the issue fall a little short of helpful.

Enlighten us What is the issue then—

DO you need to get laid or do you want a relationship with the 'good' girl??

lady m, i already posted the issue. if your reading comprehension skills prevent you from understanding the issue, then you should refrain from posting advice.

I read the post and from what I gathered is what I posted prior. You would rather ignore my thoughts for they are not what you would like to hear at this point. So feel the need to shun them.

I understand you SW, we (scorpios) have the ability to take sex to another level, as with it we would be inside of your soul and knowing your deepest secret.

I am going to talk for myself i dont know if most scorpios are like this....but here is my case w sex. I am very open to sex and everything, but it doesnt mean that Ill have sex to anyone, I prefer stay without for a long time than have it casual, but by the moment that I find a "soul" someone that really matches w my personality and I really think something could come out of it...(which before that took me time to analyse the situation and the person). I feel the need to share something deeper w this person, such as sex. If I think we are havin a real mind and body bound and dont see the reason to hold, it will take the relationship to a whole other level.

and like i said before, it's not a matter of equating sex and love. love does not equal emotions, and vice versa. emotions are much more complex and multi-dimensional than this. you're insinuating my emotional wavelength is tuned one-dimensionally which is not appreciated.

branh, i can't even tell you how much your opinion does not matter to me. get out of my thread. i don't need your negativity and self-righteous BS, and neither does anyone else here.

Psychology ( and this is only to get women to sleep with me. Women think I am "unique", but I'm just giving them a load of BS like any normal guy)...for someone who post this on your profile ...you dont seem to be the best person to give an advice over sex and emotion....MR Branho

"I would think this is simple to understand, but seeing how young you are, perhaps not. "
mmmm sounds pretty young what you said about psych to me

escorp, don't even bother with branh. he's a piece of shit know-nothing whose reputation on this board is well-known.

yeah you are right!!!!

is this the gemini girl that youve been talkin to lately—

I completely ncur with Branh *gasp*

Although, like i said earlier you know your issue...you just dont care to do anything about it S_W. It is to be expected.

*completely concur

My ex boyfriend was a gemini and the communication between us was perfect....


but the sex was AMAZING 😉...so it might be good to wait for this good girl....I guarantee itll be worth it.....

I think they havent experienced the full effect of dxp.
Its been a pretty homogenous environment on the scorp board for awhile.

escorp, it's just an issue that i've noticed myself falling into every once in a while...the whole issue of sex as a way of getting to know somebody...it's difficult for me to put myself out there emotionally if there's no sex...i do equate physical intimacy with emotional intimacy, but def. not love.

branh, i deal with dissenting views just fine. you brought up a good point earlier - all the hate isn't necessary.

"Oh, so the Scorps have been jacking each other off, and nurishing each others stupidity?"

pretty much...there alot of new ones which is the main reason.

Yes...I totally understand where you are coming from...

because those intimate moments are the ones where you get to see the real person, it may be on a gesture, the touch of skins, an eye-to-eye thing, it might not even be the sexual act, but all that involves it, and the intimacy that it brings

"it's difficult for me to put myself out there emotionally if there's no sex...i do equate physical intimacy with emotional intimacy, but def. not love."

same difference.

no, it has nothing to do with my status on the boards. i've been here for just as long as anyone of you.

its hard to be ignored sometimes hummmm guys—?

I thought that since you "folks" (if I may say it )since you are so old....28 if I recall....VERY VERY OLD...

Well, but my point is, since you are older, you should have the wisdom to know when you are being ignored and upcome the situation...

Its been fun...I havent done this in awhile.


till next time gentlemen.🙂

Branho's profile


"I love forcing people into logical paradoxes, or exposing people's "rational evaluation" as being a "biased and emotional evaluation". I pretty much love playing with human's minds, because I am nigh Godly, and it brings me great joy."

Srsly...I guess I dont need to say anything you basically did it for me...mmmm


It say it all...

😉 ^^but not as long as me....

SW, I think your "problem" isn't really a problem, it's a matter of maturity...you are 21; a well-spoken and without a doubt intelligent 21, but you are a 21 year old male. You have a few years still to experience the full spectrum of romantic relationships, and in the coming years you will learn much, much more about yourself and what you really want, deep down. I suspect you know that you have deep-down wants, right now...you just aren't sure what they are. This is normal...your twenties are a pivotal, enlightening period of time and I'm afraid that you're just going to have to continue riding the tides of your life as it is now, letting them carry you to each next experience, in order to learn what you'll need to learn before you can even begin to expect to recieve those things from another human.

When you find what you want, you'll know it instantly and there will be no doubt.

* "but not as long as me" was in response to SW's post, btw.

this conversation isnt going anywhere....good night guys

PR...i am very confused, because i have never really had stable long term relationships before, and i have no idea how to effectively have one. but i understand what you're saying, and i know it's also a maturity issue...but i'm impatient because i don't know what i want, but i want to know so very badly.

t/a cusp - yeah, it's a pretty lame hand to be dealt...

I think SW should be the judge of that, as it was his topic.

Hopefully SW I've contributed something constructive 😉

Take care!

Oh hi, you're still here...reading....hang on...

I think, SW, that the only way the answers can come through to you as far as what you want, etc. are when you are fully open to recieving them. I think when we get ourselves all wound up, worried, stressed, even just impatient...it acts as a blocker to the messages the universe, as well as our own souls, are trying to send us. Be open to recieve, while riding the tide. Any agitation, if it doesn't outright block the answers from coming to you, will if nothing else prevent you from seeing them clearly.

Oh, and I don't think any one of us actually "knows" how to have a long term stable relationship...it's mostly trial and error and as the years go by the errors become less and the successes are more frequent. And the magical thing is when someone at your same maturity level is the person you're attracted to. But before that happens, it's mainly trial and error. And it sucks at the time, but when you look back on it all, you will see the thousands of little lessons each sucky thing taught you, and you will thank God or the universe or whatever you believe in for bringing someone to you who appreciates your level, is at your level, and who wants to progress with you.

PR, that's true...but i don't want to be a pushover by that same token. one thing that really irks me is being under the complete influence of a woman...it destroyed my relationship with my father (for reasons irrelevant) and it really scares me. i want to have a healthy, 50/50 relationship but it's so difficult.

Healthy is possible. I don't think 50/50 is possible, at least not for any sustained period of time. That percentage...it sounds great, but humans are so flawed - I think it's true what they say, that at various times throughout a relationship, one person is more in love than the other person. And it changes and fluctuates all the time. 50/50 might happen for a day, or a week, or a minute...but I think a healthy relationship means that sometimes it's 30/70, or 80/20, as long as no one's being abused or cheated on. In many ways the opposite sex makes us stronger in our weaker areas, and sometimes one person is more fragile than the other, maybe when they are going through something traumatic, etc. I definitely don't think it should be one gender making most of the effort all the time, but I do think we need to bend to each other's needs like wheat in the wind, you know?

yeah, i know what you're saying...it's just that instinctively i have this survival gene inside of me that flashes red whenever i'm in a position of vulnerability, and i've found myself in this position quite often lately and it scares me a little...i don't want to be taken advantage of, and i know nobody else wants to be taken advantage of either. but i also understand that relationships are a constant and ever-present risk, and it scares me also what happens when people move through their whole lives without taking those risks. i've seen a lot of bitter, unhappy old people and i don't want to be like them.

power struggle...i try and stay at the top most of the time, to the detriment of my interpersonal relationships...

...an ex-girlfriend of mine once told me, "you know (SW), you'd rather be right than in love." and she was right! but i want to change that.

sw- you're very young but mature in a way that you want to explore your emotions. what's "reading between the lines" with you men? give me an example what do you mean by that?