LetltB
@LetltB
12 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 9186 · Topics: 179
Facebook Is Revolutionizing 'Backburner' Relations
He and Michelle Drouin had 374 undergrads self-report how many backburners they had, whether they talked to them platonically or were more flirty, and what technology they used to keep in touch with these people. Those who were currently in relationships also completed assessments of their investment in and commitment to their relationships, and rated how appealing they thought their alternatives were.
The most frequent ways that people kept up with their backburners were through texts and Facebook. Forty-five percent of participants reported texting backburners, 37 percent reported talking to them on Facebook. Thirteen percent of people still picked up the phone and called the person they were stringing along, and piddling percentages of people kept up with backburners through email, Skype, or Twitter.
The relative privacy of Facebook makes it easier to keep in minimal contact with backburners. Another thing humans tend to do in relationships is attempt to maximize benefits and minimize costs. It doesn't take much to just comment on someone's Facebook status, potentially a small cost for the benefit of keeping that person available as a romantic option.
That could also explain why people in relationships still kept in touch with backburners online at nearly the same rates as single people. It seems a little more acceptable to talk to someone on Facebook when you??re not available than it does to meet up with them for dinner or something.
When someone sees their backburner??s Facebook status change, —you??re going to have that —ugh?? moment,?? Dibble says. —Now your quality of alternatives has shrunk just a bit. If you could develop a backburner relationship over the short term in the lab, and then take it away, man, that would be really cool.??
Read more: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/10/the-psychology-of-backburner-relationships/381848/#ixzz3IDIzoXHZ<BR>
The most frequent ways that people kept up with their backburners were through texts and Facebook. Forty-five percent of participants reported texting backburners, 37 percent reported talking to them on Facebook. Thirteen percent of people still picked up the phone and called the person they were stringing along, and piddling percentages of people kept up with backburners through email, Skype, or Twitter.
The relative privacy of Facebook makes it easier to keep in minimal contact with backburners. Another thing humans tend to do in relationships is attempt to maximize benefits and minimize costs. It doesn't take much to just comment on someone's Facebook status, potentially a small cost for the benefit of keeping that person available as a romantic option.
That could also explain why people in relationships still kept in touch with backburners online at nearly the same rates as single people. It seems a little more acceptable to talk to someone on Facebook when you??re not available than it does to meet up with them for dinner or something.
When someone sees their backburner??s Facebook status change, —you??re going to have that —ugh?? moment,?? Dibble says. —Now your quality of alternatives has shrunk just a bit. If you could develop a backburner relationship over the short term in the lab, and then take it away, man, that would be really cool.??
Read more: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/10/the-psychology-of-backburner-relationships/381848/#ixzz3IDIzoXHZ<BR>
Facebook is the devil and for narcissists imo.
The assumption is being made that facebook and social media creates these scenarios, when the reality is, it's just the latest took used by people who potentially cheat. Playing, flirting, and keeping a harem, or keeping options on a back burner have been going on way before the internet came about. People connected through work, church, activities, etc. Where there's a will, there's a way! Facebook is just a tool. Some use it to keep in touch with family/friends, some to network, some for cheating, or even a mix of those reasons. If the internet crashed and went away, cheaters would still find their supply. Case in point: my ex, who never really got into FB, that I know of, but found his fling at work, and in my ex friend, and who knows where else....maybe he picks up hookers now and then. The problem isn't the tool, it's the character of people.
Posted by MoonArtist
The assumption is being made that facebook and social media creates these scenarios, when the reality is, it's just the latest took used by people who potentially cheat. Playing, flirting, and keeping a harem, or keeping options on a back burner have been going on way before the internet came about. People connected through work, church, activities, etc. Where there's a will, there's a way! Facebook is just a tool. Some use it to keep in touch with family/friends, some to network, some for cheating, or even a mix of those reasons. If the internet crashed and went away, cheaters would still find their supply. Case in point: my ex, who never really got into FB, that I know of, but found his fling at work, and in my ex friend, and who knows where else....maybe he picks up hookers now and then. The problem isn't the tool, it's the character of people.
That's it right there. The character of the people.
Facebook isn't the problem, the people are the problem. Facebook, etc. gets blamed for a lot of things it didn't do. Facebook, didn't make the person cheat, for example. They cheat because they are cheaters. Facebook just makes it easier to connect.
Posted by truecapPosted by MoonArtist
The assumption is being made that facebook and social media creates these scenarios, when the reality is, it's just the latest took used by people who potentially cheat. Playing, flirting, and keeping a harem, or keeping options on a back burner have been going on way before the internet came about. People connected through work, church, activities, etc. Where there's a will, there's a way! Facebook is just a tool. Some use it to keep in touch with family/friends, some to network, some for cheating, or even a mix of those reasons. If the internet crashed and went away, cheaters would still find their supply. Case in point: my ex, who never really got into FB, that I know of, but found his fling at work, and in my ex friend, and who knows where else....maybe he picks up hookers now and then. The problem isn't the tool, it's the character of people.
That's it right there. The character of the people.
Facebook isn't the problem, the people are the problem. Facebook, etc. gets blamed for a lot of things it didn't do. Facebook, didn't make the person cheat, for example. They cheat because they are cheaters. Facebook just makes it easier to connect.
click to expand
bingo...just like guns aren't the problem. 😉
Why assume these people are cheating? It's possible the people on backburner are just looking for fun in the first place rather than dating. I'm not saying that some aren't cheaters, in fact a lot probably are. But if I decided to be more open I could see myself simply having some consensual fun. I mean I'm normally the type bent on love. But I doubt I'm going to find an actual lover any time soon and if I did, I wouldn't cheat.
Posted by LetltB
...Relationships"
A recent study published in Computers in Human Behavior dubs these interactions —backburner relationships." A backburner, as defined by the study, is —a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.??
The communication is key here. A backburner is not just someone who wanders into your thoughts every once in a while—the college sweetheart whose Facebook photos you occasionally browse, or the cute friend-of-a-friend you met on vacation and have always thought you??d really click with, if you lived in the same city. These —what-ifs?? only become backburners if you actually reach out to them.
Dibble notes that sometimes backburners know they??re backburners and sometimes they don't—I suppose it depends on whether the communication in question is more artful than a —hey, what's up— text sent at 1 a.m.
There are a couple of competing evolutionary imperatives at play when it comes to keeping people on the backburner. On the one hand, it makes a certain primal sense to explore all the potential mates available, to be sure to get the best deal. But having one long-term partner helps offspring survive, in the rough-and-tumble caveman world often invoked by evolutionary psychology. So commitment provides benefits, in exchange for letting go of other possibilities—the wouldas, the couldas, the shouldas.
According to the investment model of relationships, developed by social psychologist Caryl Rusbult in the 1980s, people who have invested more resources—time, energy, money—into a relationship should be more committed to it, and alternative partners should seem less attractive.
One 2007 study found that love motivates people to shut down other options—people who thought and wrote about love for their partners were more able to suppress thoughts about attractive strangers. This is consistent with research that suggests people in relationships don't pay as much attention to other members of the sex they??re attracted to, and tend to rate others as less attractive.
So, with all this as background, Dibble reasoned that people in committed relationships in his study would keep fewer people on the backburner.
^^^ I can agree on those points, just remember, that FB isn't just about "relationships" but
is a venue for such practitioners of back-burner cooking.
They've always been there and those on FB who do this.... not do something unoriginal, but
also tells the whole world they're doin' it on the "back burner".
They are what we call "IDIOTS".
On the other hand, FB can be useful in other areas of life totally unrelated to personal
relationships. - It can be used as a meeting ground for a group of people of like minds
and interests discussing a common interest. Music, economics, birds... you name it.
That's how I see FB.
is a venue for such practitioners of back-burner cooking.
They've always been there and those on FB who do this.... not do something unoriginal, but
also tells the whole world they're doin' it on the "back burner".
They are what we call "IDIOTS".
On the other hand, FB can be useful in other areas of life totally unrelated to personal
relationships. - It can be used as a meeting ground for a group of people of like minds
and interests discussing a common interest. Music, economics, birds... you name it.
That's how I see FB.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
1. Relationships run by one person. A relationship is toxic when one person is running it. Period. When you feel o
I found out my 3rd nephew is going to be born this month around the 12th? They predict anyway which means he will be a S
Then post your very first thought.
I shook things up today, getting tired of her actions not matching her words I think she is trying to see if she can con
I've dated a lot over the years but no one really the past year and I have had over the years close and regular male fre
I've never seen so many posts here from weak ass men crying, whining, complaining about women (Scorpio women or not). W
I am a Libra sun, Pisces moon, Scorpio rising man. I have a... I don't know what to call us. I mean officially we are fr
What do scorpios do when they feel happy? Scorps.. are you eager to see their reaction.. Scorpios are so hot Do
Hi all. Newcomer and first post. I'm a Taurus Sun/Ascendant Scorpio moon guy. The girl is a Scorpio Sun/Ascendant Cap mo
A recent study published in Computers in Human Behavior dubs these interactions —backburner relationships." A backburner, as defined by the study, is —a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.??
The communication is key here. A backburner is not just someone who wanders into your thoughts every once in a while—the college sweetheart whose Facebook photos you occasionally browse, or the cute friend-of-a-friend you met on vacation and have always thought you??d really click with, if you lived in the same city. These —what-ifs?? only become backburners if you actually reach out to them.
Dibble notes that sometimes backburners know they??re backburners and sometimes they don't—I suppose it depends on whether the communication in question is more artful than a —hey, what's up— text sent at 1 a.m.
There are a couple of competing evolutionary imperatives at play when it comes to keeping people on the backburner. On the one hand, it makes a certain primal sense to explore all the potential mates available, to be sure to get the best deal. But having one long-term partner helps offspring survive, in the rough-and-tumble caveman world often invoked by evolutionary psychology. So commitment provides benefits, in exchange for letting go of other possibilities—the wouldas, the couldas, the shouldas.
According to the investment model of relationships, developed by social psychologist Caryl Rusbult in the 1980s, people who have invested more resources—time, energy, money—into a relationship should be more committed to it, and alternative partners should seem less attractive.
One 2007 study found that love motivates people to shut down other options—people who thought and wrote about love for their partners were more able to suppress thoughts about attractive strangers. This is consistent with research that suggests people in relationships don't pay as much attention to other members of the sex they??re attracted to, and tend to rate others as less attractive.
So, with all this as background, Dibble reasoned that people in committed relationships in his study would keep fewer people on the backburner.