For Meg-God -- Born on a Rotten Day: Scorpio

I hate your sign but Meg-God's cool so I place this at the alter...

SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21

Let the Games Begin

Famous Scorpios at AoI: Barbara Castlemaine (17 November)

Element: Water. Scorpio Water is a bottomless, roiling paradox. Fall in without protective armor and you'll come out a skeleton.

Quality: Fixed. Scorpios never forget, forgive, or let go.

Symbol: Scorpion. Just as its crusty little namesake, the human version will destroy itself trying to get revenge.

Ruler: Pluto and Mars. Suspicious hothead. Compulsive-obsessive two-timer.

Favorite Pastime: Plotting their next move.

Favorite Book: The Klingon Guide to Mercy

Role Model: The Masked Avenger

Dream Job: Judge, jury, and lord high executioner.

Key Phrase: "I'll get you for that."??

Body Part: Sex organs. Terminal case of the seven-year itch. Scratches frequently.

Approach With Caution

Scorpio, the eighth sign of the zodiac, lives in the house of Death, Sex, and Other People's Possessions. Conventional astrology describes Scorpio as intense, mysterious, sensual, creature blessed with the gift of regeneration, like Phnix rising from the ashes. Make that Dracula rising from the coffin. Rotten Scorpios are obsessed, stealthy, corporal control freaks who replenish their egos at everyone else's expense.

Scorpio has two ruling planets. Mars, the god of conflict and aggression, bestows a primed, suspicious character. That friendly surface is separated from a boiling miasma of emotion by only a couple of layers of very thin skin. Pluto, the god of extremes, instills an unmatched instinct for survival. Wooden stakes, holy water, or a stretch in the pen"??nothing can harm Scorpio but Scorpio itself.

cont...

Scorpio's favorite game is Kangaroo Court,. They subscribe to the Salem witch trial version of justice. Die and you're innocent. Live and you're guilty. Feel free to ignore yours as you would a petulant teenager. He or she will bite his or her own foot awhile, then curl up in the nearest dark corner and go to sleep.

Scorpios are extreme, not rational. They view life as either black or white and rarely compromise. Being born with the all-or-nothing gene has voided their ability to form lasting relationships with anyone who refuses to submit to their control. Argue with one, and suffer a verbal beating that makes you wish they had slugged you instead. Prove your point, and they will give themselves an ulcer trying to get even.

If You Love One: Scorpio Man

Whether he is tall, dark, and handsome or short, blond, and chubby, a Scorpio man is idealistic, passionate, and loyal. He will mesmerize you with his candid, purposeful stare and capture your heart with his magnetic charm. He may be as cuddly as Sinbad, or as sexy as Leonardo DiCaprio; wear a white collar, a blue collar, or no collar at all; but here is the man who is impossible to resist. Think you've hit the jackpot? Think again, sweetheart. Loving a male Scorpion is like falling for King Kong.

Oh, he's sexy and, underneath that aloof exterior, surprisingly sensitive. Of course, that tidbit of knowledge may not help when you are handed divorce papers because you said his best friend was a low-life slob. Other guys might sit down to discuss their feelings. Mr. Intense will sit down and rip yours to shreds.

He is selfish. Never mind that you are married to him or in a serious relationship. The Scorpion's idea of commitment is showing up for dinner most of the time. His emotion switch is set at subzero and he won't hesitate to be unfaithful until he's dead. However, contrary to popular belief, he is not sex-crazed. That trait belongs to cousin Aries. Scorpio is terrified of deep emotional dependence on just one person, so, in his usual ass-backward way, he screws around precisely to avoid intimacy.

cont...

A male Scorpion has two reasons for living. The first is power. The second is control. He would control fate if he could"??and some try. He will usually be a good provider because his desire for power and control drives him to become successful in his chosen profession. But money is rarely his primary motivation. Financial gain is only a by-product of becoming Mr. Big.

His moods change faster than a Pisces flipping the remote, and he will test your love by demanding the devotion of a religious fanatic at a revival meeting. He's so jealous, possessive, and sarcastic that you will be tempted to poison his oatmeal. There's no handling a Scorpion. You either put up with him or run like hell.

Deliberately awaken this man's green-eyed monster, and you better have a shovel handy. You are going to need it to either defend yourself or dig your own grave. Remember this before you are foolish enough to plunge into an affair, or worse, a legally binding relationship.

The worst thing you can do to a Scorpio man is not react to his emotional intimidation tactics. If he demands to be alone, applaud. Curb his sarcasm with a yawn. If he says he wants an open marriage, tell him you thought you already had one. When he announces he's going out without you, tell him to have a good time, then smile as if you know something he dsn't. he'll pretend to leave, park around the block, and sneak back to lurk in the bushes, convinced that you are cheating on him. He's as obtuse as Taurus when he thinks he's right and will stand in a rainstorm all night, muttering to himself while you are cozy by the fireplace.

He communicates by threat. The foremost one is that he's leaving you. He also lies. The only thing harder to rid yourself of than a Scorpio man is a Cancer woman.

cont...

A male Scorpion frequently looks like he just ate a cactus. That's because he spends half his life getting even for some real, or imagined, slight and the other half causing all his own troubles. Consider Scorpio Teddy Roosevelt. During a summer break from Harvard, eighteen-year-old Roosevelt entertained several friends from New York, including Edith Carrow, a girl for whom he had a great affection. Unfortunately Edith (a Leo) flirted with several of his friends during the festivities, and Teddy reacted like a typical Scorpio. He married someone else. After his first wife died, again in classic Scorpio style , Teddy sought his first love. They were married for thirty-three years and had five children.

Yours will be so secretive that he would rather have his fingernails pulled out than tell you what he had for lunch. He's morbidly afraid that if he dares to share any serious facts or fears, you may get the upper hand. That's why he's so good at small talk. He can blather for hours about every piece of minutiae in the world, but ask him a direct question, and he will clam up and rush outside to mow the lawn.

Your home will be either near water or hidden in a cul-de-sac behind a tall fence. He would live in a place that's accessible only by helicopter, except it would screw up his Thursday-night dates with the cocktail waitress at the Bowl-O-Rama.

If you do catch him between the wrong pair of sheets, he will put on such a display of groveling, whining, and begging that you might think he's suffered a breakdown. Don't be fooled. He thrives on intensity and is as much masochist as manipulator. He will do anything it takes at that moment to gain your forgiveness, except change. Scorpio is Fixed Water. He exists in a bottomless well of churning emotional excess and is so embroiled in trying to figure out his own emotions that he will never understand yours.

Being sucked into the vortex of his charm is akin to getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle. You may or may not survive the trip.

cont...

If You Love One: Scorpio Woman

There is nothing superficial about a female Scorpio. She is a woman of total confidence and grace. Her style is all classic chic, her manner friendly but reserved. She expects you to be strong, courageous, and ambitious. She is psychically astute and can sense the subtlest of changes in your mood, and pinpoint the cause, with the skill of a trained psychoanalyst.

That's the good part. The rotten part is that Ms. Scorpio graduated from the Hannibal Lecter School of Therapy. She dispense her opinions in a way that crushes your ego and destroys your pride in one fell swoop, much like chopping off your finger to cure a hangnail. She fears nothing, questions everything, and will go to the ends of the earth for a friend or a lover. She could read the Bible to the Devil and make him listen.

All Scorpio women instinctively know that the fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage. Home may be your torture chamber, but it's her sanctuary. Don't ever betray this woman. Don't threaten her or in any way endanger her security. And for God's sake, don't publicly humiliate her. There are women scorned and then there are Scorpio women scorned, and a betrayed female Scorpion is like Lady Macbeth on crack.

Consider Betty Broderick's story, as researched by Joseph Geringer. Broderick told authorities, "I bought the program hook, line, and sinker"??big sinker! Marry the man of your dreams"?_a good provider. I viewed everything as us. Dan never seemed to have that view. In the divorce, all the debts were fifty percent mine, but all the assets were one hundred percent his. I realize now that he was right when he said our battles would continue until one of us was gone."?? In case you don't remember, she is the lady who killed her lawyer ex-husband and his new, younger wife in 1989 after a particularly nasty, and public, divorce.

Your female Scorpion will most likely not reach for a gun, but she will make you reach for hard liquor in a tall glass.

cont...

She is so politically astute, she can instantly analyze a room full of your peers and tell you exactly who will help further your ambitions and whom to avoid. In fact, she will manipulate both you and your career so skillfully you'll think you ended up chairman of the board all by yourself. Not so. The female Scorpion craves power as much as her male counterpart and usually has a hidden agenda of her own. She will not hesitate to help you achieve your goals so she can achieve hers. Just ask Leo Bill Clinton.

She is also sullen, congenitally depressed, and has a penchant for staring into space for so long that you'll think she's catatonic. She is as cagey and manipulating as her sister water signs, Pisces and Cancer. However, Ms. Scorpion will not hesitate to sleep her way to the top, if that's the only ride she can get. She lives for scandal and can often be found at public executions or reading trashy tabloids.

Romantically, her sexuality is sensual and her desire is to merge with a man who is her equal. Trouble is she never considers any man her equal. She will try to make you her doormat and, when you are face down in the mud, tap dance on your back in her red stilettos. With a Scorpio woman, the best way to keep your love new is to give her a fresh coat of varnish once a month and keep her out of direct sunlight.

If You Are One, Born Rotten

why is your life so difficult? Because you are still repaying the bad karma you earned the last go-around, when you were Torquemada's rack-master during the Inquisition.

Your exaggerated nature provides extremes of every kind. Compulsions and obsessions explode within your psyche. A startlingly large number of you either become geniuses, or sink into the lowest paths of depravity. You latter types make ideal mates for Pisces.

cont...

Your favorite TV shows are reruns of Dark Shadows and you wear a Barnabus Collins ring on your forefinger. You love to point randomly at unsuspecting strangers and mumble gibberish. Your moods range from irritable to pissed off, and you frequently sulk, brood, intimidate, spy, and cheat. That's on one of your good days. Unlike Taurus, who is blind to his faults, you are acutely aware of your flaws, but excessively proud of them. For instance, y ou like to wear a minipicture of your mug shot on a gold chain.

Being a fixed sign means that your emotions and opinions rarely change. You are kindly described as "still water runs deep."?? You more closely resemble a boiling cesspool of hydrochloric acid. Your metaphorical stinger is always poised for attack and you are supposedly known for vicious verbal barbs. In reality, most of you are merely cantankerous bores who constantly posture and gouge lines in the dirt daring others to step across.

You are so private even your relatives don't know your unlisted phone number. You have a NO SOLICITORS sign on the barbed-wire fence around your property, and anyone attempting to reach your front door will need a map and a flashlight to make it through the overgrowth. You are so paranoid that you think Alcatraz would be a safe place to live.

Scorpios have bumper stickers that say things like, "My child sells drugs to your honor student."?? You are chronically terse, and have Bad Ass, Son of Bad Ass, or Mother of Bad Ass tattod on your neck.

You keep a police scanner on the kitchen table to track the movements of your friends"??both of them. Instead of family pictures, your refrigerator is covered with magnetic business cards of lawyers, therapists, and bail bondsmen. Inside is a mishmash of variety ranging from mashed potats to granola bars. Your eating habits swing as wildly as your emotions, from Spartan bark eater to comfort-food junkie.

Scorpio is the sign of the prosecuting attorney, psychopath, Mafia negotiator, and more-parts-than-you-were-prepared-to-lose surgeon. Scorpios also make good stalkers, astrologers, and psychics; however, very few of you are in the latter profession because you refuse to acknowledge your clairvoyance.

cont...

You follow Scorpio Adam Ant's views on sex. He said, "I like sex. My songs are about sex"?_sex is my life. I just find it the most exhilarating experience, and I think it should be done on stage."?? You'd join his band if you could.

You are the most intense of all signs. Telling to learn to go with the flow, or to lighten up is ridiculous. Control is your forte. Learn to use it on yourself before running over your children, friends, and lovers with your steel-belted emotions, and you'll quickly discover that most people like to be around you because of the sheer force of your personality.

Your philosophy is "Mind your own business."?? You are guided by instinct and driven by passion. Let the rest of the world spend its time on frivolous pursuits and TV game shows; you are too busy quietly forging a solid gold future.

source: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/scorpio/earth-signs-2015445/&p=2