carbon_scorp
@carbon_scorp
16 YearsCapricorn
Comments: 0 · Posts: 321 · Topics: 6
good idea or bad idea?
I think you should walk up to him and tell him how you feel the force is your choice. Subtle or Determinded.
I see what you mean about subtle or determined...but I'm used to guys coming up to me and not the other way around. I would go up to him but I don't work in the same building as he does anymore.
In order to see him, I would have to go out of my way to go to his department and talk to him...and it could potentially be pretty obvious that I'm doing that. Not that I would mind too much if there weren't other people around.... I'm not sure if doing that is just worse than just sending him an email?
In order to see him, I would have to go out of my way to go to his department and talk to him...and it could potentially be pretty obvious that I'm doing that. Not that I would mind too much if there weren't other people around.... I'm not sure if doing that is just worse than just sending him an email?
Email sounds subtle unless your bold in it I say shoot.
Posted by Chance11
i know the guy is supposed to ask but i would be impressed on that alone and give you a shot.
Exactly. I would much rather he asked me out. Since he didn't, it just makes me think all this thinking is meaningless and I should just forget about him.
i wouldn't go the band route just because 1.) you would sound like a groupie and 2.) it's a ploy that's easily figured out and would make his mind wonder 'is this chick obsessing over/stalking me'..good luck!click to expand
Thanks for giving me the guy's perspective. 🙂
Posted by Chance11
i think you should just call him in his department and ask him that if he wasn't involved, if he was interested in going out for a drink or something..satisfaction will come in the form of him saying yes or if not, knowing where you stand.
Agreed! I just want to know where I stand. One way or another. This unknown is pretty much taking up all of my thoughts. I just wish I knew what is the best approach to get an answer. I've also heard that things never go well when the girl makes the first move... so I don't know if all of this is just pointless.
Wait so your going to email him....or not?
When is his band having a show? Maybe showing up for a show with a few friends in a non-work environment would be a better option, therefore you can communicate, exchange contact information.
Just a suggestion...
Just a suggestion...
Posted by ArticleL
Wait so your going to email him....or not?
I don't know. I thought the consensus was that emailing is a bad idea.
Wow sounds like a bunch of confusion I thought you use your legs to walk to the person you want to talk to.
Posted by IntriguedScorp
Is there anyway for you to try to become his friend first? You may find he asks you out first that way.
So that was what I was waiting on...and maybe he was too. But then I got transferred unexpectedly...which put me in the situation I'm in now.
This is just my opinion, but the band route sounds okay to me. Can't you get a few friends together to go see them? You can just say, you thought it was cool that someone you work with is in a band and leave it at that. Just a thought.click to expand
Yea, I was going to go with the "I think it's cool..." route too, but I think someone here said it wasn't a good idea...male perspective...so I'm rethinking.
Posted by ArticleL
Wow sounds like a bunch of confusion I thought you use your legs to walk to the person you want to talk to.
Haha, I know I'm overthinking this.
Posted by tiki33
When is his band having a show? Maybe showing up for a show with a few friends in a non-work environment would be a better option, therefore you can communicate, exchange contact information.
Just a suggestion...
That's a great idea. I've looked into it...but their band's website hasn't been updated for a year or so. Doesn't seem like they have any shows coming up.
Posted by Chance11
e-mail is too impersonal..meeting in person is too much of a surprise if you've never talked to him person unless you harness your scorpio boldness and say eff it. making a quick call is what i'd do..easy to do but personal enough to gauge viability. for me, it would all hinge on level of interest and whether you'd regret not saying something
Calling would be even more creepy I think. Between calling and walking up to him, I'd rather do the latter.
on the other hand, depending on the length of time you were both engaging in the stare off, it might be a subconscious cue of incompatibility. i think it should have been a little more natural after initial surpriseclick to expand
Lol, it's not really a stare off. Whenever I catch him looking at me...and I would hold his stare for a while, and then look away. But again, you're probably on to something..because usually a guy will stare a few times, notice that I'm reciprocating, and try to talk to me one way or another. This guy has only looked without any action.
Btw, he's in a higher position than I am and a little older, maybe he thinks it's inappropriate?
Posted by Chance11
maybe he's a cap or leo and he's used to women coming up to him 😛
find out his sign..then we can reveal the triggers and then you'll be in like schwinn
I wish I knew his bday too. But I don't know any of his friends...and if I could ask him point blank, I wouldn't have the problem I have now. 🙂
This is way too hard, it's like a flip of the coin, you walk up to him he may think your coo coo or he may love you being open and forward and the same for emailing, he may love it at first but then get apprehensive and think negative about the whole thing or he may love it. I guess you have to take a risk or do nothing, wait for the right opportunity to meet he guy.
Maybe you could find him on Facebook and strike up a conversation but you must know the outcome could lead to rejection, this could be really good or end up really bad, if you can accept that then hey go for it.
I don't think staring means anything, you're attractive--something about you is attractive (to him), he's hot blooded male and noticed you, thus he noticed you noticing him noticing you, you responded to his staring so he kept staring, IMO if he didn't risk talking to you I would think he was just doing what some men do, stare.
Maybe you could find him on Facebook and strike up a conversation but you must know the outcome could lead to rejection, this could be really good or end up really bad, if you can accept that then hey go for it.
I don't think staring means anything, you're attractive--something about you is attractive (to him), he's hot blooded male and noticed you, thus he noticed you noticing him noticing you, you responded to his staring so he kept staring, IMO if he didn't risk talking to you I would think he was just doing what some men do, stare.
Posted by tiki33
This is way too hard, it's like a flip of the coin, you walk up to him he may think your coo coo or he may love you being open and forward and the same for emailing, he may love it at first but then get apprehensive and think negative about the whole thing or he may love it. I guess you have to take a risk or do nothing, wait for the right opportunity to meet he guy.
Maybe you could find him on Facebook and strike up a conversation but you must know the outcome could lead to rejection, this could be really good or end up really bad, if you can accept that then hey go for it.
I don't think staring means anything, you're attractive--something about you is attractive (to him), he's hot blooded male and noticed you, thus he noticed you noticing him noticing you, you responded to his staring so he kept staring, IMO if he didn't risk talking to you I would think he was just doing what some men do, stare.
Thanks for your thoughts. I don't mind the rejection. I just want to know. I don't even know if I want to date him..but I'm interested in finding out. 🙂
Alternatively, if I could just get him off my mind, then I won't ever have to know...but that doesn't seem to be working. This is my first week working in the new dept, i.e., the first week that I haven't seen him everyday since starting my new job, and I've thought about him/missed him every day. Must be the scorpio obsession thing. I just want him off my mind!
I've looked him up on FB but couldn't find him. Maybe he's just a super shy guy.
Anyone with other thoughts? I've decided something needs to be done tomorrow. I don't want to spend the weekend in agony and obsession. Email or in person? What should I say?
You appear determined, so either way you approach this guy should be fine, I only say it should be fine because you stated earlier you are okay with the outcome of it possibly leading to rejection.
I honestly don't think this is a good idea, he could be married, in a long term relationship, a number of things could be going on with this guy but if you must do this, IMO walking up to him is preferable, you don't want to leave a trail that could potentially get you in trouble at work.
I honestly don't think this is a good idea, he could be married, in a long term relationship, a number of things could be going on with this guy but if you must do this, IMO walking up to him is preferable, you don't want to leave a trail that could potentially get you in trouble at work.
Posted by tiki33
I honestly don't think this is a good idea, he could be married, in a long term relationship, a number of things could be going on with this guy
You make a good point. Maybe the better question is, any advice on how I can stop obsessing? I really just want to stop thinking about this.
Glad I found this discussion. It asks/answers some of my current dilemmas as well. Here's the thing with obsessions I have come to realize, there is something about the obsession that must be verified. There is a longing, a wanting, a desire to lead to have an obsession at all. I currently am in the same situation and I have come to the conclusion, that what we desire as in obsessing over is something that WE want, not necessarily has anything to do with the other. I like tiki's answers on alot of these. She validated the obvious. I work and deal with reality. Sometimes our fantasies and delusions get the best of us because of what we want out of this obsession. I think what you are really looking for is if he finds you adorable in return. Question arises- Does he smile when he stares at you? Or is it just a blank stare? Or a creepy stare? Or a I'm going to rape you with my eyes stare? These are all factors in the making. We as females feel appreciated and emotionally stirred when we find something we want looking our way. It's easy to get lost in the thought and just define our own interest and not really look at the real matter. I can distinguish the two from each other. I have become a pro at my own disasters. But I always do the smart route, which is never making myself obvious in a situation you really don't have an answer for. I will tell you mine briefly so you can generate your own input.
This guy I have an obsession over is a power house scorpion. I'm in love with power. There for my obsession grows. This guy has a staring issue as well. I notice he doesn't smile unless I talk to him. The stare is just there. I find the actual stare quite creepy. There for all I'm rationalizing is, he may think I'm cute, interesting, and or he's bored. All of these have come into factors. I put the bill on the opposite spectrum and that's what I would be thinking if I were in the other pair of sneakers. Another words is, we emphasize on something that may or may not be. If they don't ever talk, then that's a sure sign, it's not actually wanting to know us, staring. That is the obvious. Until you get to know him, you will never know what kind of nut he is. lol
continuing
This guy I have an obsession over is a power house scorpion. I'm in love with power. There for my obsession grows. This guy has a staring issue as well. I notice he doesn't smile unless I talk to him. The stare is just there. I find the actual stare quite creepy. There for all I'm rationalizing is, he may think I'm cute, interesting, and or he's bored. All of these have come into factors. I put the bill on the opposite spectrum and that's what I would be thinking if I were in the other pair of sneakers. Another words is, we emphasize on something that may or may not be. If they don't ever talk, then that's a sure sign, it's not actually wanting to know us, staring. That is the obvious. Until you get to know him, you will never know what kind of nut he is. lol
continuing
My advice to you is, stroll down the friendly approach. Do not make yourself obvious nor make yourself seem like you had to chase him down. Trust me. If you want to get to know him, I'd go the email route. He can tell you in words that no one else sees (unless he shares it). Talk about the band and be on the friend path. He won't find you stalkerish/creepy then. You never know what kind of stalker/creeper he is. 😉 But if you want to stop the obsession, here is what I found has worked. Now this does require some form of stalking. Think about all the things you like in a person and the things you don't like. Find out as much as possible about him without him knowing so. There are plenty of ways of going about this. Trust me, pro here. lol You will eventually find something that does not suit your fancy and the obsession stops. It answers an inquiring question burning inside your mind. You want to know what he is thinking, well he apparently isn't thinking much of you or he would've initiated a conversation or bumping into you at least once. Turning an obsession around isn't an easy thing to do, but make yourself do whatever it takes to rid the thoughts. Like a stalking maneuver. If you need help in this department ask. It is not even really stalking after all. 🙂
Posted by CapricornSun
My advice to you is, stroll down the friendly approach. Do not make yourself obvious nor make yourself seem like you had to chase him down. Trust me. If you want to get to know him, I'd go the email route. He can tell you in words that no one else sees (unless he shares it). Talk about the band and be on the friend path.
I like this. I like this a lot 🙂
our thoughts and for sharing your strory, capsun.
Posted by CapricornSun
Glad I found this discussion. It asks/answers some of my current dilemmas as well. Here's the thing with obsessions I have come to realize, there is something about the obsession that must be verified. There is a longing, a wanting, a desire to lead to have an obsession at all. I currently am in the same situation and I have come to the conclusion, that what we desire as in obsessing over is something that WE want, not necessarily has anything to do with the other. I like tiki's answers on alot of these. She validated the obvious. I work and deal with reality. Sometimes our fantasies and delusions get the best of us because of what we want out of this obsession. I think what you are really looking for is if he finds you adorable in return.
I agree with your analysis on the metaphysics of obsession. It begins to take on a life of its own, almost living and breathing...and it takes over your mind and emotions. That is partly why I want/need a resolution, because I don't want this obsession consuming my thoughts. As you put so well, "There is something about obsession that must be verified." I've only been feeling like this for about a week, but already, I hate how it's controlling my thoughts. I don't even need for my interest to be reciprocated at this point, but just to feed the obsession somehow...which is why I like your emailing idea (more below).
Question arises- Does he smile when he stares at you? Or is it just a blank stare? Or a creepy stare? Or a I'm going to rape you with my eyes stare? These are all factors in the making. We as females feel appreciated and emotionally stirred when we find something we want looking our way.click to expand
His stares are none of the above. That's why it's partly so intriguing (which is contributing to my interest in him) and partly so confusing. Generally, when a guy stares at me, they would smile or just stare blankly, but one way or another, they always find a way to talk to me. In this case, when this guy stares at me, I sense a couple of things: (1) By the time I notice him looking, I feel like he's been staring for a while and (2) It's not a blank stare or creepy stare, but a stare that's sort of like analyzing me or trying to look into me/trying to figure me out. It doesn't give me a creepy feeling...just mak
(continuation)
(2) It's not a blank stare or creepy stare, but a stare that's sort of like analyzing me or trying to look into me/trying to figure me out. It doesn't give me a creepy feeling...just makes me want to think what he's thinking. I'll hold his stare for a while and then look away. Normally, with a friend, or someone I don't care about, I will just call him out and say something playful.
Lol. It's true. I'm aware that all my thoughts about him and what I think I know about him are just fabrications of my own imagination. That is why I just want to get to know him. Because the attraction may be just physical...which would not be enough for me and the obsession would die on its own.
How long have you known your scorp?
(2) It's not a blank stare or creepy stare, but a stare that's sort of like analyzing me or trying to look into me/trying to figure me out. It doesn't give me a creepy feeling...just makes me want to think what he's thinking. I'll hold his stare for a while and then look away. Normally, with a friend, or someone I don't care about, I will just call him out and say something playful.
This guy I have an obsession over is a power house scorpion. I'm in love with power. There for my obsession grows. This guy has a staring issue as well. I notice he doesn't smile unless I talk to him. The stare is just there. I find the actual stare quite creepy. There for all I'm rationalizing is, he may think I'm cute, interesting, and or he's bored. All of these have come into factors. I put the bill on the opposite spectrum and that's what I would be thinking if I were in the other pair of sneakers. Another words is, we emphasize on something that may or may not be. If they don't ever talk, then that's a sure sign, it's not actually wanting to know us, staring. That is the obvious. Until you get to know him, you will never know what kind of nut he is. lol
Lol. It's true. I'm aware that all my thoughts about him and what I think I know about him are just fabrications of my own imagination. That is why I just want to get to know him. Because the attraction may be just physical...which would not be enough for me and the obsession would die on its own.
How long have you known your scorp?
Bad idea. And you know that deep down.
When we are sure of something, we don't even need other's opinions. We just do it.
He had his chance of talking to you and he didn't.
You chasing him, will be coming from a position of vulnerability. This is quite some elaborate plan. And this because
this guy is filling a fantasy in your head (he is in a band you said.. Lots of imagery kicks in).
Leave it as fantasy or be prepared for a lot of work!
When we are sure of something, we don't even need other's opinions. We just do it.
He had his chance of talking to you and he didn't.
You chasing him, will be coming from a position of vulnerability. This is quite some elaborate plan. And this because
this guy is filling a fantasy in your head (he is in a band you said.. Lots of imagery kicks in).
Leave it as fantasy or be prepared for a lot of work!
My advice to you is, stroll down the friendly approach. Do not make yourself obvious nor make yourself seem like you had to chase him down. Trust me. If you want to get to know him, I'd go the email route. He can tell you in words that no one else sees (unless he shares it). Talk about the band and be on the friend path. He won't find you stalkerish/creepy then. You never know what kind of stalker/creeper he is.
Ok, will do. I've already composed the email. Now just waiting for later in the day to send, lol.
You want to know what he is thinking, well he apparently isn't thinking much of you or he would've initiated a conversation or bumping into you at least once.
The thing is, he has bumped into me, sort of. Long story, but he basically put himself in my way (sitting at a specific computer that sort of blocked the doorway) when there was no need. At the time, I didn't think much of it, but now that I'm overanalyzing everything, I'm thinking maybe he was trying to talk to me... or it could all be in my head.
But if you want to stop the obsession, here is what I found has worked. Now this does require some form of stalking. Think about all the things you like in a person and the things you don't like. Find out as much as possible about him without him knowing so. There are plenty of ways of going about this. Trust me, pro here. lol You will eventually find something that does not suit your fancy and the obsession stops. It answers an inquiring question burning inside your mind. ... Turning an obsession around isn't an easy thing to do, but make yourself do whatever it takes to rid the thoughts. Like a stalking maneuver. If you need help in this department ask. It is not even really stalking after all.click to expand
Yes I need help in the stalking dept. How do I do that? lol
Bad idea. And you know that deep down.
When we are sure of something, we don't even need other's opinions. We just do it.
He had his chance of talking to you and he didn't.
You chasing him, will be coming from a position of vulnerability. This is quite some elaborate plan.
Actually, deep down I think he's waiting for me to say hi. Or, this could be the obsession talking....
The thing is, I was unexpectedly transferred to a new dept, which is in a new building, so we don't see each other anymore. Maybe he was just working up the courage to talk to me and never got the chance.
I don't really think I'm coming form a position of vulnerability. I don't even know if I'm interested. Just curious to know the truth about him, other than what I'm imagining in my mind.
And this because
this guy is filling a fantasy in your head (he is in a band you said.. Lots of imagery kicks in).
Leave it as fantasy or be prepared for a lot of work!
Lol, the band thing only adds to the intrigue. It's not the sole reason for my interest. I was interested enough to google him before I knew about his band...which, incidentally is how I found out about his band. I just like the idea of him being musical.
The problem is I can't leave it alone (I wish I could)...which is why I'm here talking about it. 🙂 I'm prepared for his indifference, so I don't think it will be bad. If he doens't reply to my email, I'll leave it at that.
click to expand
I've done some more thinking...of course. I feel like if I email him, then all we could ever have is a friendship...just because the whole guy-girl dynamic would be changed. I really prefer the guy chasing me. So if I'm interested in something potentially more (which I am), then I have to wait and let him come up to me. Do you think that's a fair line of thought?
If so, it seems like maybe I just need to keep waiting but that's sort of like waiting for superman, or divine intervention, lol. It may or may not happen, and all I can do is just sit idly and wait -- but that's not how I approach life at all.
If so, it seems like maybe I just need to keep waiting but that's sort of like waiting for superman, or divine intervention, lol. It may or may not happen, and all I can do is just sit idly and wait -- but that's not how I approach life at all.
Oh, I should add that this coming Monday, there's an orientation meeting for new employees (the last of a series of meetings). The meeting will be in his dept, so I potentially have a chance of seeing him. I feel like I will...because there was also an orientation meeting this past Monday...and he somehow managed to come into my line of sight more that a few times, even though he wasn't attending the meeting (he's not a new employee). That makes me think he was trying to talk to me.
Any advice on what to do if I see him on Monday?
Any advice on what to do if I see him on Monday?
Wow girl you got your hands full and you are doing what we all do, keep thinking about it. The more you think about it, the more you doubt yourself, and where does that lead? I'm sure my statements here are going to be once again long and drug out, (its what I do best)! 😉 I'll give you a bit of a go on all these ideas/situations.
First off- Everything happens for a reason. Keep that in mind when dealing with anything in life. Ok so there IS a reason this guy is studying you. There is also a reason YOU were moved to a different department. That being said, it is up to you to indulge in this affair head first if you want to be the ruler. That being said, there are always two sides of the coin until we know exactly what we are dealing with. A) He stares at you and is shy OR B) He stares at you and wonders how he can make you do what he wants. Some guys have a knack of doing this. It's reversal mind games is all it is. Depending on how you look at the game, it can either be fun or it can be painfully a chore! Always, always keep the two sides to the coin in mind when operating with the unknown. So with that being said, weigh out your decision on sensible grounds. Don't put your imaginary thoughts into play or action until you know the real deal. You must keep it at a friendly distance at this time being. Remember everything happens for a reason and there is no law that says you cannot be someones friend to want more from them. At this point I see you as wanting more of him because of the delusion/fantasy. You know that is impossible without knowing him so you are going to have to do it at a friendly approach if that is where you are heading anywhere with this man.
Fact of the matter is: He is NOT coming to you which means two things once again. As I stated above you can declare for yourself which it might be since you are living this role. We can only speculate from the outside. continuing...
First off- Everything happens for a reason. Keep that in mind when dealing with anything in life. Ok so there IS a reason this guy is studying you. There is also a reason YOU were moved to a different department. That being said, it is up to you to indulge in this affair head first if you want to be the ruler. That being said, there are always two sides of the coin until we know exactly what we are dealing with. A) He stares at you and is shy OR B) He stares at you and wonders how he can make you do what he wants. Some guys have a knack of doing this. It's reversal mind games is all it is. Depending on how you look at the game, it can either be fun or it can be painfully a chore! Always, always keep the two sides to the coin in mind when operating with the unknown. So with that being said, weigh out your decision on sensible grounds. Don't put your imaginary thoughts into play or action until you know the real deal. You must keep it at a friendly distance at this time being. Remember everything happens for a reason and there is no law that says you cannot be someones friend to want more from them. At this point I see you as wanting more of him because of the delusion/fantasy. You know that is impossible without knowing him so you are going to have to do it at a friendly approach if that is where you are heading anywhere with this man.
Fact of the matter is: He is NOT coming to you which means two things once again. As I stated above you can declare for yourself which it might be since you are living this role. We can only speculate from the outside. continuing...
Now that you have distinguished both sides of the spectrum from his angle, your intentions will be apparent, no matter which way you decide to approach it. If he is shy, he will like that you are making a move; friendly or non. If he is playing the reversal role, he is seeing how you will react to the circumstances. From what you have written, I partake this man as being stalker/creepish kinda of like my ordeal. lol Why you ask? Let's be obvious and real here. Even if a man is shy, he is still going to set up a way to get to know you. Just like you are trying to do and face it girl, you are being stalkerish yourself without realizing it. Once the obsession begins, it flourishes to a whole new level of curiosity that will make you wanting more. When we want more of something that isn't happening and we HAVE to KNOW, we will go to any lengths to get our thoughts validated. That of course leads to any thinkable way possible to get our mission tasked.
Unless you want to be obvious in your apparent obsession, there is no real way for you to approach him face to face. It may seem like being "friendly" to someone or keeping them in the friend department is not as exciting, but I beg to differ with all whom think so. The only true real way to get to know anyone is through a friendship. They have to be your friend in order to be anything in your life period. Unless you just want a night in the sack, you wouldn't be thinking so hard about this to begin with, which tells me you don't want a fling with him. You want to actually know him. This is healthy to be calculating all the directions to obtain this goal, and you are not throwing yourself at him saying you just want to jump his bones. I say guys who are creepy are those who can't seem to find a way to ignite the fire themselves. I firmly believes if a man is interested in a woman, he is the one who will find a way to get to know you. Not the other way around. That all leads back to the reversal mind game they have going on. Even a shy person is still going to give you the impression he is interested in you. Be honest with yourself and step out of the fantasy. lol continuing...
Unless you want to be obvious in your apparent obsession, there is no real way for you to approach him face to face. It may seem like being "friendly" to someone or keeping them in the friend department is not as exciting, but I beg to differ with all whom think so. The only true real way to get to know anyone is through a friendship. They have to be your friend in order to be anything in your life period. Unless you just want a night in the sack, you wouldn't be thinking so hard about this to begin with, which tells me you don't want a fling with him. You want to actually know him. This is healthy to be calculating all the directions to obtain this goal, and you are not throwing yourself at him saying you just want to jump his bones. I say guys who are creepy are those who can't seem to find a way to ignite the fire themselves. I firmly believes if a man is interested in a woman, he is the one who will find a way to get to know you. Not the other way around. That all leads back to the reversal mind game they have going on. Even a shy person is still going to give you the impression he is interested in you. Be honest with yourself and step out of the fantasy. lol continuing...
Hey capsun, I was waiting for your reply. 🙂 This is obsession at its best, lol. (And maybe the epitome of being a scorp, lol).
Does this mean you think I should just wait it out and let him make the first move, if her ever does?
Posted by CapricornSun
I firmly believes if a man is interested in a woman, he is the one who will find a way to get to know you. Not the other way around.
Does this mean you think I should just wait it out and let him make the first move, if her ever does?
Posted by CapricornSun
The basic step to finding out about him without him knowing is first be savvy and slick. I have already obtained you are or I would have never threw this suggestion out there. You managed to look him up on google and found his band. There for you have taken the initiation upon yourself to find out if he is someone you want to pursue. (my god are we related? lol!)
You read my mind capsun! I was googling him because I wanted to find something I disliked and be able to get him off my mind. The problem is that googling him had the opposite effect and now I'm even more intrigued!!! Lol.
Your next step is to find all you can on the internet about him. And yes you will have to find out if he is married/whatever his deal is. If you have the confidence to over come another female as say a girlfriend he may have, push forth my dear! (so me lol) You know married people are off limits and I calculate you are very brilliant from what I have read. Now in my state and my home town we have websites here that make much of this "checking up" possible. Most know we have it and do it. The sensitive creeps always back hand you when/if they find out. I made that mistake once but I didn't care about the guy anyway so he could get all freaky about it all he wanted. It was thrilling to see his reaction. Anyway, once you go about any way you can obtain info such as facebooks, other social networks, move on to actually contacting someone he may know. But do it from another identity of course. Be smart though, and do not appear stalkerish like you are looking solely for him. Example: Say you know a band and would love to collaborate with theirs (this being to someone he knows of course) and get your feedback slyly. The counterpart will have no idea and you will get your answers. 😉 Wow ain't I a trip for selling you my secrets! lol continuing....click to expand
Wow, I can tell by your elaborative methodology that you've been through this! 😉 What if I'm too lazy and just want a quick answer, one way or another? I know you said it before. Maybe just emailing him is the way to go. My only reservation about emailing him is that I feel like that would change the guy-girl dynamics and ruin our chance of ever dating, if it ever comes to that point.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Lol, a Cap saying someone's boring!
j/k, but you're right on it being an ego thing, no?
Ego is my thing! 😉 I'm the farthest from boring. I have a bit of fire in me and water, so I am something. 🙂
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Hot and muddy?
lmao! Yep all the way sweet cheeks! I don't know how sweet your cheeks are but that sounded good. lol. The Cap in me is practical, the fire in me is outrageous at times and the water in me takes on a whole new meaning why what is, is. I'm quite a package! Yep here comes that ego thing again. 😄
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I don't think emailing him is any better or worse than investigating him/the band online, if anything it's a little more low key and normal, and not as connected to the band or any instant ego/groupie/etc connotations that an individual may get from such an approach, even if you do like his music.
Yea, that's why I feel emailing would be better. Cut to the chase and be more natural, or at least as natural as this situation can be.
Either way she does it, it is going to be apparent she wants to know him. There's nothing wrong with that. I do it all the time. I don't care about my outcomes and it appears she doesn't care either. She just wants to know what his deal is. That is exactly what I've done. I really didn't even care about knowing who he is, like asking him- "hey who the heck are you?" lol. I felt the need to dive around it and I can do it cleverly and easily. It tickles my fancy, and gets them going after the fact too. It's what I do. Getting reactions out of people. If no reaction happens, they're a dead mouse. You've got to keep it interesting! To whatever level you desire of course. 🙂
Do you guys think that my emailing him would change the guy-girl dynamics and ruin our chance of dating, if it does comes to that point?
Should I just wait for him to make the first move?
Should I just wait for him to make the first move?
I already answered that. Go back and read my book. lol
Posted by CapricornSun
I already answered that. Go back and read my book. lol
Lol, I did read your book, capsun. I guess I missed the take home message. 🙂
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I don't think this is a case of it's just not in the stars lol moreso a (seemingly) simple get to know someone better situation, at least how I read it anyways.
Ok, glad to hear this from a male perspective. 🙂
Carbon Scorp, don't make me write another book. 😉
Posted by CapricornSun
Carbon Scorp, don't make me write another book. 😉
I just emailed him and now the waiting period begins...so you might have another gig soon, lol 😉
lol...in that case, reverse back to me what I mentioned on the friend/dating thing.. 😉
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Keep in mind, I rarely talked to this guy when we were working on the same floor and I certainly never had a one-on-one conversation with him. The best case scenario is that we've stared at each other more than a handful of times...and the worst case scenario is that the staring is all in my head and he barely knows/cares that I exist.
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