HELP!!! I HURT A SCORPIO MAN - IS THERE HOPE—

So I was dating a scorpio man for 3 months. We hit it off oh so quickly. I never felt the feelings like I did with him. I am 46 and he is 48 years old. Anyways to get to the point...one night we both were drinking and I had put my guard down and said to him that I wanted to have sex with him but he actually responded saying that he didn't want to do that because we were both drinking and that he didn't want me to regret it. (I told him when I met him that I don't sleep with anyone until 6months) Yes I know it sounds really strange but I want to get to know someone before I would do that. Then he also said to me that he wanted to be "In Love with Me" so I was like hey thats really cool. So the next week we were not drinking and things got pretty hot and heavy and next thing you know he dropped his pants (no pun intended) and I freaked out and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" and then I also reitterated to him that he told me that he wanted to " Be In Love with me" so needless to say the deed wasn't done. Anyways this is where it leads to my problem. A few weeks goes by and I can see that he has become distant with me. It just didn't feel the same way. Then one evening when I was at his house I had a melt down and confronted him about my feelings and how I felt like he doesn't like me anymore etc etc. So because of that I flipped out told him that I wanted to end things with us and he wanted to stay friends but I said I couldn't. He kept telling me that he wasn't in love with me over and over again and said he feels as if I had more feelings for him and I kept insisting I didn't. (I am a stubborn Leo) and so I left. A few days later I put out on Facebook that I was single again and that there were more fish in the sea and he ended up seeing it. My close friends who new what happened made comments on my post but nothing to hurtful. It was meant to make me laugh but I guess he didn't think so. So he texted me that night and told me that he de-friended me on Facebook because he didn't want to tell his side of the story. Like ok....and said that I made him look like an a**hole. Which I didn't think I did. Anyways a few days later I asked him if we had a chance of getting back together and his response was it was to hard to know and judge and that because he wasn't showing me enough love I was having my melt downs and that we should just take a break. So I said thats fine I will take the time to work on myself then and when he's ready just let me know.

"CONTINUED"

Since then we both had texted each other here and there and one of my texts was I asked him if he would be interested in going out to lunch some day and his response was it will have to wait for 2weeks because he has been working OT and busy with errands. Then when I asked how work was he said he was going to be working a lot of OT from now into 2013 and saving a lot of $ $ for summer projects etc and that he wasn't going to get into anything serious for the next 6 months..... I know that I had hurt his ego and I wish I could turn back time and make things better. I feel as if he wasn't totally honest with me either when he kept saying that he wasn't in love with me because 2 months before that he told me that he was falling in love with me. I know my feelings were much stronger than I wanted to admit to it and now I regret not telling him that night. I don't know what I should do. Should I just disappear and wait it out and see if he text's again....should I text him every now and then to check in to show him that I am still here and that I really care or should I just move on— ( I Forgot to mention that I just got out of a 17 year relationship with a guy that wasn't going anywhere...)I know what can I say I am either very stupid or very loyal to a man....lol

Any advice from a Scorpio or someone who has been in this position would be great.

FTW LEO

Posted by Jynja

Posted by DMV
FTW LEO

Nah, Leo woulda jumped that guy immediately he dropped his pants. She's Sag... No doubt. 😛

click to expand

she doesnt sound psychotic enough lol

LOL....I am truly a "LEO"

Any advice would be great as to what I should do. Like I mentioned I got out of a 17year relationship and that guy was a Gemini....but it just didn't work out...lol...So doing this dating thing is so weird for me!!!

Thanks Jynja:

I was afraid you were gonna say that. I figured he wasn't totally honest with his feelings and neither was I. It really sucks because being a LEO patience is not what I am good at. Its been over 1 month since I have seen him and its killing me. I really was falling in love with this man and like I said I never felt this way EVER before not even with the last guy I was with. He had to grow on me....lol...

So in your opinion do you think that he is just putting all his effort into working and not wanting to be in a relationship at this time because I had hurt his EGO and hurt his feelings...sometimes I wish I just let things play out and see where they were going and becasue he got cold on me I freaked....to me its all or nothing!!!

"CONTINUED"

Since then we both had texted each other here and there and one of my texts was I asked him if he would be interested in going out to lunch some day and his response was "it will have to wait for 2weeks because he has been working OT and busy with errands." Then when I asked how work was he said "he was going to be working a lot of OT from now into 2013 and saving a lot of $ $ for summer projects etc and that he wasn't going to get into anything SERIOUS for the next 6 months..... I know that I had hurt his ego and I wish I could turn back time and make things better. I feel as if he wasn't totally honest with me either when he kept saying that he wasn't in love with me because 2 months before that he told me that he was falling in love with me. I know my feelings were much stronger than I wanted to admit to it and now I regret not telling him that night. I don't know what I should do. Should I just disappear and wait it out and see if he text's again....should I text him every now and then to check in to show him that I am still here and that I really care or should I just move on— ( I Forgot to mention that I just got out of a 17 year relationship with a guy that wasn't going anywhere...)I know what can I say I am either very stupid or very loyal to a man....lol

Any advice from a Scorpio or someone who has been in this position would be great.

MY advice:...DISAPPEAR. literally. The ball is in his court and he KNOWS it. He's just going to keep dribbling it inf front of you with NO intention to pass or shoot. In the future, should you ever deal with a scorp again and he starts telling you that "he's falling in love with you" ....wait it out until you know for sure that he does. OH! and don't have meltdowns especially so early on. It freaks ANY man out. I believe he may have lost some respect for you for NOT keeping your "friendship/relationship" details private. (The FB "broadcasting")..Scorps DIG their privacy.

Jynja:

I really don't want to count my losses at this point because even though it was only 3 months since I known him it felt like I had known him for years. We had such a connection that it really blew my mind and he felt the same also.

I know that he is afraid of being hurt again because he has been divorced and was also seeing a woman for 5 years and she ended up cheating on him so his track record wasn't all that great and I would like to see if we can make things work but it takes two people in a relationship.

So like you said before not to suffocate him but what should I do....can you give me some advice because I told him before that I FIGHT FOR WHAT I WANT and he was actually taken back by what I said and he was like no one ever said that to him....lol...

I don't want to push him away nor do I want him to think I don't care....

MY advice:...DISAPPEAR. literally. The ball is in his court and he KNOWS it. He's just going to keep dribbling it inf front of you with NO intention to pass or shoot. In the future, should you ever deal with a scorp again and he starts telling you that "he's falling in love with you" ....wait it out until you know for sure that he does. OH! and don't have meltdowns especially so early on. It freaks ANY man out. I believe he may have lost some respect for you for NOT keeping your "friendship/relationship" details private. (The FB "broadcasting")..Scorps DIG their privacy.


@ TAURUSbelle - Really so there's no turning back from this mess that we both made and your saying he wont forgive me for my mistakes— I don't think thats fair. Everyone is human and people make mistakes...and he's not perfect either. I have a very forgiving heart but I sure won't forget what he's said to me also.

So I guess I will take your advice and DISAPPEAR...I deleted his number from my phone so I wouldn't be tempted to text him a message...lol...

Now I have to work on getting him outta my head!!!

Posted by JoeyDoll
MY advice:...DISAPPEAR. literally. The ball is in his court and he KNOWS it. He's just going to keep dribbling it inf front of you with NO intention to pass or shoot. In the future, should you ever deal with a scorp again and he starts telling you that "he's falling in love with you" ....wait it out until you know for sure that he does. OH! and don't have meltdowns especially so early on. It freaks ANY man out. I believe he may have lost some respect for you for NOT keeping your "friendship/relationship" details private. (The FB "broadcasting")..Scorps DIG their privacy.


@ TAURUSbelle - Really so there's no turning back from this mess that we both made and your saying he wont forgive me for my mistakes— I don't think thats fair. Everyone is human and people make mistakes...and he's not perfect either. I have a very forgiving heart but I sure won't forget what he's said to me also.

So I guess I will take your advice and DISAPPEAR...I deleted his number from my phone so I wouldn't be tempted to text him a message...lol...

Now I have to work on getting him outta my head!!!

YES Really. I mean it with all the love and compassion of my heart.There's NO turning back. Yes we are all human & make mistakes, but you're acting "Messy" and..all over the place". Scorps are Strongly intense with emotion but -Fixed.

You HAVE to disappear recoop & repair, he'll just keep dangling your wishes of "What COULD be" in front of you, and THAT will keep hurting you because you want SOOOO badly to be with him.

You did well with erasing his number...if its meant..he'll contact you again. IF he should contact you..don't sound excited. Just -BREATHE- and keep calm. Get out there KEEP busy. Getting a Scorp out of your mind will be a challenge.

Posted by Jynja
Leo:

Scorps forgive Leos. Go on the Leo board and see... they don't let us go as easily, so it's likely he just needs to work out in his mind what to do. You're in a hurry - patience is no Leo's forte, but you have to learn it and try not to be too dramatic by deleting his number and falling into a woe is me state in hopes that he'll see your plight and come to your rescue on a unicorn and in a shiny armor - these guy are not wired that way.

What he'll give you is a dose of being real. The electric pulse you feel will likely be the only surreal thing in this relationship. He'll need you to act the part, be humble, don't be overly flirtatious, respect him and try not to be too dominating. Simple and straightforward.

When I came here and was told I need to be patient and wait, I cried like a petulant child. I wanted the man and I wanted him right away. I might even have stomped and pouted and wept some more at how unfair life is. But, my mom (herself a Scorpio) reminded me one thing: There's a big difference in dating 10 guys in 6 months with no fulfillment and waiting for the one man to make a decision in 3 months that will lead you both to happiness for years to come.

I can't say we've clocked a year yet, but my Scorpio boyfriend and I made it past 7 months a few days ago and are steadily climbing a happy ladder.

And I messed up quite a lot too, but he forgave me all.

THAT was Beautiful Jynja. Mom is wise. Congrats on your 7months +days!! I honestly couldn't date that many ppl. I wouldn't be myself.

I agree Scorps DO forgive...but they most CERTAINLY don't forget. IF you have the type of Scorp that DOESN'T Re-hash your past deeds, then I'd say your Golden. But for Joeydoll here..YES the Scorp is giving a DOSE of real..but Joeydoll's emotions are running tooo high to experience the torment of uncertainty from the Scorp.
..disappearing will allow them to recalibrate. if not start over. (Should it come to that)

Ok lady's thanks for your post but just so you know I say what I feel and I don't hold back anything...and I mean anything. So yes maybe you ladies may think I am imature but that's just my personalty so please don't judge me. I voice my concerns loud and clear whether people like it or not.

All I wanted was some advice as to how I could fix the mess I got into with the Scorpio man that I dated briefly but it seems that there has been some bashing going on about me and "I DON'T LIKE IT" so please be kind the next time you refer to me....you don't know me and how what I am all about.

Thank you!!!

sounds like you rejected him with his pants down!!!!! that's enough to go on isn't it?

at your age you should be able to separate sex from love ffs. what, are you trying to protect your 'reputation' or something? cos i can imagine people have probably assumed you're not a virgin by now. why not just fuck him for the sake of fucking?!!? don't you like sex any more?

.........getting all 'hot and heavy' and then yelling at him...'what are you doing!?!'.

seriously....how old are you??

R1g0rM0rT1s11/15/2012 5:25:13 PM Quote | IP


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sounds like you rejected him with his pants down!!!!! that's enough to go on isn't it?

at your age you should be able to separate sex from love ffs. what, are you trying to protect your 'reputation' or something? cos i can imagine people have probably assumed you're not a virgin by now. why not just treetrunk him for the sake of treetrunking?!!? don't you like sex any more?


In response to your comment: I don't sleep around with just anyone....I want to get to know a guy first and that way he will respect me for who I am and not for what I can give him....Things change once you "TREETRUNK" a guy if you haven't noticed!!! I respect myself more in the end and thats all I care about.

So the guy was giving me mixed messages if you haven't figured that out. He said he wanted to be "BE IN LOVE WITH ME" the week before and then the following week he wanted to go for it ...like HELLO!!!

Posted by Jynja

Posted by DMV
FTW LEO

Nah, Leo woulda jumped that guy immediately he dropped his pants. She's Sag... No doubt. 😛

click to expand

She stated she is a Leo in her original post.

Sorry I just think if someone is gonna take the time to advise, they shouldn't be skimming.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"So yes maybe you ladies may think I am imature but that's just my personalty so please don't judge me. I voice my concerns loud and clear whether people like it or not.

All I wanted was some advice as to how I could fix the mess I got into with the Scorpio man that I dated briefly but it seems that there has been some bashing going on about me and "I DON'T LIKE IT" so please be kind the next time you refer to me....you don't know me and how what I am all about."



You are also a very insecure individual. Taking a private message and posting it in the forum is out of line. Prepare to be bashed 'whether you like it or not' 😢

Are you guys seriously so blind?

She copy pasted rigs previous post, obviously she doesn't know the "quote" feature. Which from copying, is where the "private message" comes from.

This is the Internet, people, and it is filled with words, why are you not reading them?

I agree with the advice to back off. He will come around if he realizes he misses you. Make him miss you...

I wanted to see what it felt like to be a brat for once.

lol @ post patrol.

I mean no harm.

@ IntriguedScorp: The answer to your questions is NOOOOO.....I didn't jump him when we were both drunk......I told him that I wanted to have sex with him but like I said he respected me and didn't want me to do it and regret it later. He also told me "THAT HE WANTED TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME" before he went to the next level. He said he was tired of dating women where the relationship was only built on having sex and there was no emotional interest. So I was really cool with that. I respected his wishes.

But that following week he decided he wanted to have sex with me so can u understand how I felt.... like if someone told u the WEEK BEFORE that they wanted to "BE IN LOVE" before they would take the next step in the relationship and the next thing you know he wanted to have sex with me that night IS SENDING ME mixed messages. YOU DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE IN A WEEKS TIME!!!! SO I FREAKED!!!!

I don't understand how people are thinking I am playing a game. I was protecting myself from getting hurt because I knew how I was feeling for this guy and I wanted to make sure he was feeling the same way!!!

Posted by TAURUSbelle
I believe he may have lost some respect for you for NOT keeping your "friendship/relationship" details private. (The FB "broadcasting")..Scorps DIG their privacy.

^^^THIS. But I don't know if it's so much a loss of respect as it is losing my trust. Hard to earn, very easy to lose. I know I would be done, regardless of what was discussed beforehand. You put my business on blast--and have your friends chime in at that, I don't care if I felt like you were my d*mn soulmate, you're dead to me. Privacy is THAT important to me. I would wager it's important to most Scorps, but I also recognize I take a very extreme stance on certain issues.

Posted by JoeyDoll


Really so there's no turning back from this mess that we both made and your saying he wont forgive me for my mistakes— I don't think thats fair. Everyone is human and people make mistakes...and he's not perfect either. I have a very forgiving heart but I sure won't forget what he's said to me also.

Mistake?....It seems like you made a conscious decision to post personal information between the two of you on a public social site. While I recognize you can't control what your friends post, you did set up the situation to allow for their negative comments at his expense. Why? To give yourself a little emotional boost to help you through this "difficult" time? You already said your friends were aware of the situation before you posted your update, yet you still felt the need to be make it public. Now if you had simply changed your status, fine. However, the added comment knowing he would see it? I'll reserve my comment about that, because your OP isn't really about that.

Now I am assuming from what you wrote that you were really upset and had a knee jerk reaction to the break up--that in itself speaks volumes too. As TaurusBelle said, calm down. I personally don't do well with drama, hysterics, meltdowns, and childish reactions to adult situations. He seems to be doing much better. I'd simply walk away and not look back. I am not saying you are all of these things, just using your words.

So since he has at least responded to your text and has been willing to stay in contact with you, perhaps he will be more open to you in time....if he does open up to you again I wouldn't air out your PRIVATE business in public again though. Not if you want to move forward with this guy.

Good luck.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"Your reply to the OP felt like you didn't think it was viable at all."

Yes, it was intended to come across exactly like that. The immature behavior in her very first post, as a result of a weakness and drama most Scorps get turned off by.

" A few weeks goes by and I can see that he has become distant with me. It just didn't feel the same way. Then one evening when I was at his house I had a melt down and confronted him about my feelings and how I felt like he doesn't like me anymore etc etc. So because of that I flipped out told him that I wanted to end things"

Very immature, very weak, and by no means not worth a challenge for the Scorp guy.
If there are so many life studies in a positive aspect, why then are the majority negative here? Doesn't make sense.

+1

Posted by JoeyDoll
Ok lady's thanks for your post but just so you know I say what I feel and I don't hold back anything...and I mean anything. So yes maybe you ladies may think I am imature but that's just my personalty so.....please don't judge me.

I guess the thread about this exact same statement wasn't that far off. No judgement, just reflecting back to you WHAT YOU WROTE. I hope it does work out for you. Just be more mindful if you get a second chance.