help me scorp muthas!!

of the mothering kind 🙂

ok. i'll keep it brief as. my daughter is 13 next week. we live in spain and the kids here are very much into the outdoor life and they often meet and hang out at the beach. it's safe and it's great they have that opportunity so i let my daughter hang out too (although only til it gets dark).

her best friend is a sag girl with aries parents who are very strict. the mother recently accessed her daughter's laptop and went through her im chats on fb and tuenti. anyhow, she's been talking sex talk with this english boy and her mother is naturally shocked...only the day before she was telling me how innocent her daughter was compared to mine, lol.

my daughter is completely open with her chats and often leaves them open while she's doing other things. we're very close and it's just now me and her living together since my son went back to england and so we talk about everything. i came from an uber disciplined background and it turned me into a wild child. imo, you say to a kid they can't do something without giving them a logical reason, or doing it yourself...then they are gonna do exactly what you don't want them to.

that's my view anyway. so this aries mother calls me yesterday and says she's been going through the chats and obviously alot of them are with my daughter. she pulled out one comment she made on 29th of fucking september about having drunk 2 bottles of beer while hanging out with the lads. then the aries woman is telling me on the phone how bad alcohol is for kids like i dont know that.

i got really defensive, saying to her that just one comment out of thousands was not reason to think my daughter had a drink problem. the aries said we should meet, the four of us, at MY apartment because 'the girls need correcting'. and i'm like LEAVE MY KID OUT OF THIS!!!

so i left it with me finishing the call abruptly. she just tried calling and i ignored it and so then she just texted me to ask if she can come round. i texted back NO...she then asked again...'please make time for me and blah'. so i relented and they're coming round at 4.

i'm already shaking with anger. this is not going to go very well. do you think i'm being unreasonable? i mean i KNOW my daughter doesn't do the sex talk that her daughter does and i know cos she is open with me. i'm not about to go snooping through her chats like the aries said i should. my daughter's not an adult but she deserves privacy and to be trusted.

Id said to cancel it. She wants you for support because she cant handle her kid by herself. It will prob cause a lot of drama. HER problem is not YOUR problem. She is emotionally bullying you.

Id call her and calmly say you've re thought this and decided its not in YOUR daughters best interest.

well my daughter has got all moody cos she had 'plans' that apparently I have selfishly ruined by having this 'meeting'. she's playing me up really badly now and i've had enough and cancelled seeing the aries woman. i'm too pissed off and close to exploding for anything to be remotely productive and if she does her child psychologist open surgery act on me as she usually does, i will lose it. so it's not worth it. i feel tempted to tell the aries to phone my aries ex in england and take the issue directly to him. everyone thinks they're entitled to an opinion about how you treat your child when you're on your own and i've had enough!!

i cancelled by text, said i can't deal with it today and she's responded with,...let me know if there's anything you need, i'm here for you, take care ....oh go and fucking boil your head ram woman, grrrrrr.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
well my daughter has got all moody cos she had 'plans' that apparently I have selfishly ruined by having this 'meeting'. she's playing me up really badly now and i've had enough and cancelled seeing the aries woman. i'm too pissed off and close to exploding for anything to be remotely productive and if she does her child psychologist open surgery act on me as she usually does, i will lose it. so it's not worth it. i feel tempted to tell the aries to phone my aries ex in england and take the issue directly to him. everyone thinks they're entitled to an opinion about how you treat your child when you're on your own and i've had enough!!

i cancelled by text, said i can't deal with it today and she's responded with,...let me know if there's anything you need, i'm here for you, take care ....oh go and fucking boil your head ram woman, grrrrrr.

Lol, calm your stinger down Rig - we both know those Aries love to give their opinion on everything, and they ain't ever wrong. But back to the matter at hand. Were you aware of the girls drinking beer incident?

As you know, I'm not a Scorp ... but, I do have two cents.


I think you should meet with her. Not today, because your emotions aren't collected. But, as soon as you can ... and here's my logic on it.


The mother could very easily take her daughter away and never allow her to be friends with "R" again. She is already alluding to her being an alchy, and now she can add to it in determining you are too bad of people for the influence on her daughter by assessing this situation as: you aren't cooperative in resolving this problem (eventhough the problem only exists in her head), you are therefore condoning teenage drinking and sexting.


If she takes her daughter away from your Red Jewel ... she will look at it as your fault, Rox ... because you know as well as I do that kids will react in spite of their parents when they are faced with these kinds of life obstacles.



I agree with IntriguedScorp ... passify her, for the sake of the two girls being able to remain besties

yeah, i moved it to tomorrow. it's all too emotive right now.

the beer drinking remark i believe personally was exaggeration cos i always pick up my daughter wherever she's been and she's not there long enough to get drunk and return to sober by the time i get her. she actually hates the taste of beer...any fizzy drink in fact...none of us drink coke and don't even like gassy water. i told the aries that they're doing little else than playing with words and she should stop trying to protect her daughter from the kids she perceives as a threat to her innocence cos this is the way of the world and you can't prepare your kids for it if you constantly shield them from experiences you feel won't be good for them.

the age of consent is 13 in spain and for that reason, we have to make our kids aware of their responsibilities to themselves and you can't teach them that lesson if you constantly take that responsibility away from them.

i have to keep the peace for the sake of my daughter cos this is her bestie like you say P. if i have to swallow some of her preaching, so be it.

i managed to ignore most of what my aries ex lectured me about, so i'll just employ the same method. my mother always made a good point that all the time you are agreeing with someone, you don't actually have to listen to what they say, lol. that was her secret to a lasting marriage.

i am always wary of people (like this aries) who read books on how to raise kids.

me and my daughter were going through her chats since september (omg...thousands). we wanted to prep ourselves for tomorrow. it's actually pretty shocking what this other kid comes out with but her parents are both so uptight on discipline. anyway, there was certainly nothing in there that shocked me. a bit of swearing but what kid doesn't do that on the sly. this is all such an over reaction.

i just can't wait to get it over with.

she came and went. woo hoo!! job done. it started badly cos the woman wanted to 'say a prayer' and i nearly spat out my tea. so i told her i was uncomfortable with it and that no basically, i didn't want to say a prayer, lol.

then she started talking to my daughter directly and was saying that she's read about something she's done and that she needed to tell me the truth. i butted in and asked her to talk to me and that if she was referring to the one comment out of thousands about 2 bottles of beer, i said we had discussed it and i don't believe she has drunk that much in one go although naturally, as a kid, she has tasted it. i said that because of that, i wasn't prepared to take any 'action' over the issue and i certainly wasn't going to 'correct' her (like i'm some kind of nazi).

the aries had a face on like i was a lost cause and asked me if i thought it was ok for ruby to drink. i said absolutely not but i don't think she is drinking..she pulled another face like i was kidding myself and so that fucked me off totally.

i said to her...your daughter has had several chats of a sexual nature...do you think she's having sex? 'OMG NO!! of course i don't', she said...so i asked her why she had decided my daughter was drinking cos she had mentioned it in chat once then.

religious people have one thing in common..they are JUDGEMENTAL!!

anyhow, point made, me and my daughter listened to her telling her daughter that she was grounded until she proved herself to be trustworthy and all that blah...and she even dropped in a bit about how 'we have to accept that people have different standards'..and then they went home.

i grew up in a very strict orthodox jewish household. me and my brothers couldn't look left without permission from our parents, who we called 'sir' and 'ma'am' which gives a good idea.

i remember how humiliating it was never to be treated as an adult, specially during teenage years. me and my brothers were consequently wild beyond words. eventually, my parents told me if i lived under their roof, i had to live by their rules and so i left home when i turned 16 to live with an older cancerian guy and supported myself through the rest of school and i never lived with my parents again.

they were so out of touch with who me and my brothers were that even now, we now have no relationship with them. my parents don't know my kids and have only met them twice, and they're 13 and 16.

i said to the aries, i'm not going to alienate my daughter to that degree by forcing my beliefs down her throat cos i want to be around when she's older and has kids of her own. i want her to make good choices in life and to do that, she needs freedom to choose. i think the only thing you can give to kids are the benefits of your mistakes and even then, there's every chance they'll find their own way.

i think having to let go of my son when he moved back to england made me aware that our time with our kids when it's full on is very transient. i'm not gonna spoil it by not letting them live.

my daughter said i rocked. that's all i care about 🙂

thank you!! that is such a compliment. it's hard for anyone being a parent but especially when you're on your own 🙂