How do you tell a Scorpio something bothering you?

I am having a hard time talking to my Scorpio man about our relationship. I am a Leo, but not loud and don't have to be the center of attention and all that. But he has been backing off ever since I got a huge promotion at work. I mean, that's when it started with him not calling when he said he would or calling just to say "Hey I'm calling to say I'm going to bed" but he'd still be signed into his Myspace for like a half hour after he was "going to bed," him not coming over because he is "tired," all that. Three weeks ago, we were looking at apartments and living together and now, I feel like I'm the cute friend he fucks on occasion, ever since my promotion and I don't understand that. He is way more into astrology than I am but I thought Scorpio men liked being with independent women who were going places.

I asked him yesterday about the apartment and us living together and he said "I think I need more time to think." And I said "Think about what?" And he was like, we can talk about it later. Then he did call later to tell me he was tired and going to sleep, but he didn't not want to call because he told me he would call. WTF?

I don't know how to tell him what is bothering me because I am not sure myself what is bothering me. I mean, it is cool if he doesn't want to live together yet - we are both only 26, well, he will be on Nov the 10th. And he's lived either at college with roommates or at home, so I could understand him wanting his own place for awhile, but he's the one who brought it up. Matter of fact, he would fill my inbox with notices for apartments he thought we would really like. Now it's like a 180.

The thing is, I read Scorpios pull back like this if they are unsure about the person - it's been a year, what is he unsure about? I am loyal and faithful to him, truthful, but sometimes I do bite my tongue when he hurts my feelings. I try not to be too sensitive though, you know? And I thought with my promotion, he and I would really be doing it up, and now it's like he won't even really talk to me. I know I have to put it out there what's bothering me but my twin bro says guys hate stuff like that, that my guy isn't really doing anything wrong, he just isn't sure and needs me to be cool with it. I would be cool with it, but it feels like he is cooling off period, and I think that is what is bothering me.

If anyone has advice or guidance, I would appreciate it! Thx, Nala

First i need to see your pic, particually nude so i can help you more.
I see tell him what bothers you directly, even if it's small thing and even if you would seem as sensitive..it bothers you so something is going wrong and you should not sleep on it.
Scorpios love sensitive girls, if he loves you then he would appreciate telling him about what annoys you, if not then you will know for sure that he doesn't love you and that way you can know early before going further.

Haha, I really hope you are joking about the pic, I only do stuff like that for my man.

My bro says too sensitive though will drive him off? But bro is a Leo. I wish I could pinpoint what is really bothering me. It feels like he is backing off, but he's still calling/texting. I just feel like something has changed and I can't put my finger on it. Can I tell him that? Would he open up to me if so?

Yeah, i am serious about the pic..and i thought i am your man.

Tell him exactly how you feel, tell him that you feel he is backing off, and that something has changed, talk about it.
Like i said if he loves you then he will understand and he will be glad that you told him that, cuz it shows that you love him a lot.

Irish Libra, jealous and insecure? Why? He loves his job, he is an engineer and he talks about how great work is all the time. I am thinking you mean jealous of my promotion? I am not sure.

Hypno, I will try that. I am really upset and not sure about what is going on, and you are right, if he loves me, he will make changes.

Elena90, the one time I said something like that was in August and I just knew his ass was cheating. He was being all suspect, snapping on me, all that. And then I cussed him out and he stopped speaking to me. Come to find out he was working with my cousin on a surprise birthday party for me and my twin and he was being a bitch because I kept asking questions and he thought I was getting close to figuring out what was going on. I felt like shit after that and it was a while before we got back to normal.

So I guess I am a little weary of going off on him again after that situation.

Hmm, am I the only one not really seeing what the problem is? Most 26-year-old guys want to have freedom for a little bit. He put it out there, maybe thought about it more, and isn't sure. He told her this straight up. Isn't that kind of communication generally touted as a ... good thing?

AnnBarret, yes, I understand you, but again, he brought up getting an apt. together. I am not one of those girls who wants a ring nownownow and is pressuring him. So it is cool if he wants to do his own thing for awhile, I personally have no problems with that.

Irish Libra, I see what you are saying. It is weird, when I first told him, I was happy and excited and the first thing he said was "So what does this mean?" No congratulations or anything. He said all that later, but it seemed tacked on.

Leokitten, yes, I make more than him, but I always did and he never seemed to have any problems with that.

Elena90, I hear you. It is sad because he talks about how all his past gfs used him and expected him to pay their bills and never really took time out to know the real him. I hope he is not one of those men who can only love a woman who he thinks "needs" him.

Wow! You and I are dating the same Scorp man!

My Scorp did the same thing. Talked on and on about living together/marriage and when I finally said "sure" he backed off on the idea. That was a month ago or so and I just dropped it and never said anything. Now, he's starting to bring it up again. He's so internally conflicted about this stuff and it really is un-nerving (probably even moreso for a Virgo like me).

I can also relate to the feeling that something just isn't right but not being able to put my finger on it and not wanting to say anything without having a better idea of what the problem might be.

So, what I've been doing is focusing MORE on his actions then his words. I may make a mental tally of how many times he brings stuff up but I pretty much tune it out the words and "listen" to his actions. As with your's, my SO is still making contact all the time, wanting to be with me all the time, pleasantly suprises me by showing up places when I expected him to be busy with other stuff. He still talks a lot about the fun things we've done together and planning for things in the future. So, based on that, I figure, he does plan on me being a part of things for a long time (not backing off) just hasn't worked it out in his brain on what terms he wants it to be.

there are several good points here, including the fact that he is a man and you getting more money (read:power) scares him a little because you have the power to leave him and the power to not need him as much as he needs you. i've realized after much patience that you do have to read their actions, not their words. the more you pay attention to what he does, the more you'll realize he's not going any where. in fact, the more you ignore him, shut your mouth and pay attention, the more you'll get what you want. anyone who has dated a scorp will tell you that is true. he just needs time to think. also, i sincerely feel for you with the desire to keep things to yourself that are bothering you. they can be so sensitive and you don't want to insult them, but really, you'd be surprised how attentive and sweet they can be if you tell them what's disappointing you if you tell him without criticizing.

when all else fails, listen to elena.

Thanks everyone. I admit I am a little bit bummed. He did not call me over his lunchbreak like he usually does, which hurt. I did not call him, either, but I was really hurt by that. Leokitten, maybe you are right about the money thing because things were literally fine until this promotion came up. I do try to show him I need him in other ways, or at least I thought I did. He says I'm very independent and he likes that in me, but now I wonder. I would never look down on him or belittle him for not making as much money as I do. For me, money is not really even something I pay attention to. Sigh. Cjmolly, I will try to do as you mention and pay attention to his actions and not words, but his actions AND words are pretty much igging me. Warholian, I hate the idea of ignoring him, but this hurts. I didn't do anything and I feel like I'm being punished!! That is what hurts most of all.

I don't understand why, though, Irish Libra. We are supposed to be in love. The way I see it, his success is my success and vice versa. We are supposed to be partners as well as lovers and friends. He got an award last quarter and I was so proud of him. I never got an actual award at any job, and I didn't feel jealous, I felt good that he was doing so well. This really hurts. I do not understand this at all.

i agree that this is premature, he does in fact sound like a keeper. no need to jump to conclusions when you haven't had the chance to talk about things. by ignore, i meant ignore those little frivolous things he does that might bother you by not reacting to them. the ignoring that YOU'RE talking about is the kind where you don't call someone because you're waiting for/expecting them to call you. that's not the good kind of ignoring. i'm sure you'll get this worked out soon.

I just want to co-sign on the "listen to Elena" bandwagon. She knows her stuff. Everything she has advised to me referring to my Scorpio situation has come to pass. Though I do sort of agree with Sartori that you might be jumping to conclusions a tad.

Ok, hmm. I think you might be on to something. I have wracked my brains about this and just remembered something. In addition to his ft job, he works pt at a library. He told me about two months ago that for the winter, he was looking at getting yet another pt job so that he could pad his savings a little. I wonder now if he was looking to do that to try to pull even with me in earning, and now, with the promotion, that's not going to happen.

It sort of makes me sad and angry that he even is worried about this stuff.

Also, he's starting to remind me of this Cancer I used to be with who acted like everything was all sweet and wonderful, and when he dumped me - after cheating, btw - he told me all this shit that annoyed him during our relationship that he never said a word to me about.

elana?

eh, she's alright even if she's terribly messed up and misinformed.

🙂

^ whatever makes you happy.

philosophically speaking: is it possible for a perv to "love" a chick he doesn't fuck?

Thanks for the advice, everyone, but I'm going call this a wrap on him. A few nights ago, he called me up drunk off his ass becuase of some baseball game and he says "I feel like cuddling tonight." So I ask him if he has anyone in mind and he says it's between me and some girl he's brought up casually that works at his job - who has two young kids and has mentioned to him she's looking for a daddy for them and a SUGAR daddy for her. Wonderful. So I was just like "Excuse me?" And he said he was kidding. We talked a little more and he said he'd hit me up the next day. No lunch phone call. No after work phone call. It's 10 p.m. and STILL no call, so I call him. He doesn't answer. I text. No response. I go online and see he's signed on under his "alternate" sn, the one he forgot he gave me when we first started dating. So he signed on undercover thinking I wouldn't see him because he wasn't on his primary sign on. So then I was just, okay, he's avoiding me, whatever, and he was signed on nonstop to his myspace, which he absolutely will not let me have access to. So all I can figure is that he can't really handle a girl who can do for herself and wants another of these needy bitches who will take him to the cleaners, cheat on him and dip, just like his last 3 girls did. He did end up calling me last night lying that he was sleeping when I called earlier then rushed me off the phone again. I didn't get an ILY the other night when I said it either.

It hurts, I won't lie. This not only wounds my pride, it hurts my heart, too. I don't understand how he could just turn his back on me like this.

Thanks Elena90. This is just hurtful for me. The week starts off great, I get promoted, and it all turns to shit within days. I am stunned and heartbroken. It is hard. I don't think it gets easier the more that you experience this sort of hurt. He was telling me I was so good for him and that he was happy with me, now he's like gone with the wind.

Oh well, when Babymama #3 kicks him to the curb after draining his bank account, he won't have me to kick around.