How to deal with a guy who doesn't talk much?

To put it simply, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a wall, although a very handsome wall.
Background info: we're both Scorpios, I'm 20, he's 27. He never compliments me, but adores when I compliment him. Sometimes he even asks for it. When I mentioned this to him, he said he expresses his affection through actions??_
but we don't even have deep, meaningful conversations. The only time we do is when we're talking about a problem we're having. Nothing much about the news, politics, religion, travel or pop culture. If we do have a convo, I literally have to drag it out of him while sometimes complaining that he isn't answering, because he literally ISN'T. This truly baffles me because how can you not be aware that you're being rude?
Example:
Me: If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?
Him: Somewhere hot like Spain or Morocco.
Me: Oh yeah, you could visit your family there too. It's been hot lately here, which is nice.
END.
It's driving me up the wall! Plus, he always asks me loads of questions about my friends, family or what I did that day but he's reluctant to share info about his. I just don't get why it can never be a sharing conversation, if you get me. It's either a dead end in my attempt to start a conversation by asking his opinion on something or an interrogation of me about other people I'm close to or where I've been.
I care about him a lot but I'm so frustrated
P.S. His ideal relationship just has that 'connection' (his words) Sometimes when we've just finished making love, which is always passionate, he'll look me in the eyes and say 'Do you understand me now?' Which I get, yes, he cares about me, but there is no fun or excitement in just knowing you're cared about, but not talking.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
If you could go anywhere where would it be?

Somewhere hot like Spain or morocco.

Oh really? Why would you like to go there?

*fixed

You are a scorp. You know it's like pulling teeth to get info out. Especially the guys. Keep the convo flowing. Ask leading questions. I am sure once the conversation starts flowing two scorps can have awesome discussions. 🙂

It's just hard being the one asking the questions all the time or volunteering your opinion but getting no feedback on it. Although English isn't his first language.. maybe that has something to do with it?

Posted by Neurotoxin
Take Depeche Mode's advice and enjoy the silence?

With my sun and mercury in the 3rd house, the very idea bores me to tears!

Posted by tiziani
Maybe he's just not for you. Don't let your imagination run away with it to fill in the missing gaps. Some people don't talk because they really are just that boring.

lol I feel bad for laughing but you may be on to something... and I know it has nothing to do with us, but not too long after moving here (and still being VERY rusty at English), he entered a 4 year relationship with a girl. I have no freaking clue what they could of talked about. I'm just so used to good conversation being a big part of relationship. All me and my ex did for a year before we went out was talk for hours about everything under the sun.

How long have you been together? Do you have a gemini somewhere?

Tell him "I'm looking for a man that knows how to communicate"


Girl I'm serious. You cant hold this grown man's hand & hope one day he will magically "read you his entire life story". You want someone that can provide a meaningful conversation. There's nothing YOU can do to make him talk. HE has to WANT to. No amount of prying or complaining is going to work.

Have some backbone & let him go.... If he really loves you, he will try his best to make things work. He will try his best to open up!!

Its not fair that you're giving 100% to this relationship & he's only giving 10% .

Maybe you should call your girlfriends for the " talk." .. N come home to him for some actions?? Men arnt design to please us in everyway... Just some thoughts ?

Posted by tiziani
Maybe he's just not for you. Don't let your imagination run away with it to fill in the missing gaps. Some people don't talk because they really are just that boring.

Lol! +1

Posted by follealicat
To put it simply, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a wall, although a very handsome wall.
Background info: we're both Scorpios, I'm 20, he's 27. He never compliments me, but adores when I compliment him. Sometimes he even asks for it. When I mentioned this to him, he said he expresses his affection through actions??_
but we don't even have deep, meaningful conversations. The only time we do is when we're talking about a problem we're having. Nothing much about the news, politics, religion, travel or pop culture. If we do have a convo, I literally have to drag it out of him while sometimes complaining that he isn't answering, because he literally ISN'T. This truly baffles me because how can you not be aware that you're being rude?
Example:
Me: If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?
Him: Somewhere hot like Spain or Morocco.
Me: Oh yeah, you could visit your family there too. It's been hot lately here, which is nice.
END.
It's driving me up the wall! Plus, he always asks me loads of questions about my friends, family or what I did that day but he's reluctant to share info about his. I just don't get why it can never be a sharing conversation, if you get me. It's either a dead end in my attempt to start a conversation by asking his opinion on something or an interrogation of me about other people I'm close to or where I've been.
I care about him a lot but I'm so frustrated
P.S. His ideal relationship just has that 'connection' (his words) Sometimes when we've just finished making love, which is always passionate, he'll look me in the eyes and say 'Do you understand me now?' Which I get, yes, he cares about me, but there is no fun or excitement in just knowing you're cared about, but not talking.

Sounds to me like he's just not a talkers. Some Scorps aren't. I don't talk very much. The example you provided, truthfully I would have responded the same way (for my own reasons). I ask a lot of question, say very little about myself. That's just him; you're gonna have to deal.

Silence is quite nice. I think more people should embrace it and stop filling the room with a bunch of "noise" just for the sake of being heard. If he's with you, trust that he's with you, even when he's not saying anything.

Posted by robyn808
stop asking him questions with intent. Sure "where would you like to go?" sounds innocent enough. But its still one of those testing questions. Where he may think your judging his answer to figure out your compatibility.
...But I personal hate it when people ask me questions with intent.

^^^This. This is why I would have responded the exact same way as you're Scorp. I know where the question is leading and I'm not having any of it, so I just won't respond.

Posted by saweetz1988
How long have you been together? Do you have a gemini somewhere?

we've been together 5 months. I have sun & mercury in 3rd house, but I'm water dominant

Sun in Scorpio and 3rd House
Moon in Cancer and 10th House
Retrograde Mercury in Sagittarius and 3rd House
Venus in Capricorn and 4th House
Mars in Cancer and 11th House
Jupiter in Libra and 1st House
Saturn in Aquarius and 5th House
Uranus in Capricorn and 4th House
Neptune in Capricorn and 4th House
Pluto in Scorpio and 3rd House

Posted by IrresistableScorp
You have great sex with him what else do you want?! 😛

For me, sex is between the ears as well as between the legs 😉

Posted by robyn808
stop asking him questions with intent. Sure "where would you like to go?" sounds innocent enough. But its still one of those testing questions. Where he may think your judging his answer to figure out your compatibility.

When I ask him questions with intent, it's obvious. I've asked him what he does and doesn't like in a relationship and he said his bit, that actually was a proper conversation but it was a while ago... (didn't mention not being talkative, cause I've never experienced it before) He does it as well, like he knows my sister has been with her boyfriend for 9 years and asked me 'Are you like her too? I hope that runs in the family...'

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Yeah the whole response about seeing his family felt way too much like intent. You could have said anything and you're bringing the guys family into it. Seems pushy. I don't know

Whatcha mean? I'm confused haha

I know a bit about being a Scorpio.. seeing as I am one xD And my dad is one, very close to him. I don't think he thinks I'm testing him by trying to talk about random subjects.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Yeah the whole response about seeing his family felt way too much like intent. You could have said anything and you're bringing the guys family into it. Seems pushy. I don't know

Exactly. I don't like people inserting themselves into my future when I don't know how I feel about them in the present. Granted, I know I am saying this not knowing how long they have been dating at the point of that conversation, but that was my gut reaction. Sag in Venus rearing it's ugly head maybe ?

Posted by follealicat

Posted by saweetz1988
How long have you been together? Do you have a gemini somewhere?

we've been together 5 months. I have sun & mercury in 3rd house, but I'm water dominant

Sun in Scorpio and 3rd House
Moon in Cancer and 10th House
Retrograde Mercury in Sagittarius and 3rd House
Venus in Capricorn and 4th House
Mars in Cancer and 11th House
Jupiter in Libra and 1st House
Saturn in Aquarius and 5th House
Uranus in Capricorn and 4th House
Neptune in Capricorn and 4th House
Pluto in Scorpio and 3rd House

click to expand

And what are his placements?

Posted by Neurotoxin
Questions with intent = testing

Scorpios = masters of testing

One does not simply test a scorpio and expect a positive result

+1.

Reminds me of my ex Virgo. It only gets worse. With him I learned to be alone and chat with people online.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Yeah the whole response about seeing his family felt way too much like intent. You could have said anything and you're bringing the guys family into it. Seems pushy. I don't know

Exactly. I don't like people inserting themselves into my future when I don't know how I feel about them in the present.

click to expand

This would make sense if he wasn't already inserting me into his future. Like he has said he wants me to meet his family in Morocco soon, but since I can't afford it (and was thinking woah that's soon), waiting until next summer. He's also mentioned us living together.

Posted by Ellybean
If he isn't much for talking in the way you want now he probably won't ever be.

I wouldn't worry about it too much if you can learn to notice the quieter and more subtle ways he expresses his affection and interest. If you need strong and constant mental energy though and he doesn't currently provide you with what you need you might want to reconsider finding someone better suited. You should know being a scorp, we can't often change fundamental things about ourselves unless it was our idea first, or at least we thought it was. 😛

Aw thank you. I'll see how things pan out for a little while longer. Despite me being frustrated, I don't want to just dump him because I do feel really comfortable around him ect. And we do DO things together, which is more important to me in the long run.
I just ran around a quote —We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don't, we worry it's not there.??
so true for me!

His chart is
Sun in Scorpio and 5th House
Moon in Leo and 2nd House
Mercury in Sagittarius and 6th House
Venus in Libra and 4th House
Mars in Libra and 4th House
Jupiter in Aquarius and 8th House
Saturn in Scorpio and 5th House
Uranus in Sagittarius and 6th House
Neptune in Capricorn and 6th House
Pluto in Scorpio and 5th House