I need help....

I am married. 19 months ago, I met a scorpio woman at work (she is also married). Anyway, some strange stuff happened - like this need or desire to be near each other. Or maybe, my need to be near her, but she is always very compliant to that (work related only). I have never felt like I feel with her - it's just too intense. I guess you could say attracted on every level all at once.
Anyway, she knows exactly how I feel, I've told her through 3 letters over the course of 19 months. After the first letter (4 months after our first meeting), she pulled back real hard. So I pulled back and we didn't really see each other for 6 months. I thought it was pretty much over (whatever it was). Well, one day, she allows our association to continue (work related only) and after 2 months of that, I wrote another letter...lo and behold, she pulled back again,
but during the general time period, also agreed to work with me on one of my projects(she knew I was going to eventually need to move). So, I moved permanently to another state in April (work-related) and we just recently completed that work related project (through e-mails and phone). Over the course of the last month, she quickly and interestingly agreed to continue on some new projects with me. Also, she became more friendly in a subtle way. So, I sent her another letter to pretty much let her know that I still felt the same way,
and that I wanted her to let me know where she's coming from, as I don't want to continue to pursue the issue. What I realy have wanted from her is two things. 1. acknowledgement of my feelings for her. 2. To let me know what she's thinking and feeling.
I have no doubt that we will not cheat on our spouses, but it doesn't change the fact that (at least for me)...there is something very intense about our association. I just want to know if she also feels the same way. Anyway, after this third letter, she pulled back again and pretty much told me "how busy she suddenly got at work"...and hasn't e-mailed me in 2 days since she received both an e-mail and a letter telling her how I feel and wanting her to
tell me what's going on with her. I told her right out, that she can just be up front with me and I'd no longer pursue it (like I thought the first time). In all circumstances (she remains silent and becomes distant)...why does she seem to want to be with me, but yet stay silent for so long about the same topic? She just won't respond to it, even though the undercurrent exists. It's hard to ignore. It would be better to just get it out in the open, share feelings, and
come to some understanding. We are very close and seem to trust each other. We have never been on a date and this is really more about acknowledging feelings rather than acting on them. I feel confused and sometimes I think it's all in my head and she doesn't even like me.
I need help in understanding this scorpio woman and why she can't just tell me where she's coming from. There would be no harm at this point. We have proven to each other trustworthiness, respect, and discretion.
I just want to know the truth. I hear scorpios are big on truth - I've been open and upfront since day one with her. Why can't she reciprocate—
Please scorpio women out there - can you help me to understand what's going on in her mind and more importantly, what should I do now? Don't e-mail her and just wait...or what?
And finally, what should I do for the future?
Please respond soon.

Well, that's and easy one! You are married and so is she. You are not a free agent anymore. You made a committment to your wife. so unless you are willing to chuck it all for possibly nothing, I would get a hold of yourself!!! Regarless of how much you are lusting after her. This is your test of integrity!!! She may have feelings for you and it sounds like she does or she wouldn't keep coming around!? But she is as confused as you are!

Ask yourself this--if someone you knew came to you and wanted the same type of advice, what would be your answer! I think you will figure it out pretty fast.

Didn't want to be cruel, but you are in need of a wake up call and fast!!!!!
S.

I know "it's easy"...I'm not interested in
pursuing a relationship with this woman (impossible anyways). I
want to know why she can't just tell me what she thinks about it all.
Why does she act all silent and distant - it's very odd behavior on her part because
generally, she pretty much says what she means and means what she says.

Because she doesn't want to face her own feeling about you!

That should be feelings for you!!!

are you a scorpio woman? Should I just let this whole thing
go now? I am willing to bury the hatchet and move on without bringing it up to her again ever. In other words, no more sharing of feelings.
What should I tell her that so she can just chill out. We have a very dynamic and fun working relationship.
What do I say to her through e-mail to "let her off the hook" and just get back to "normal" whatever that is....

I would not continue to draw attention to it. It may affect your work together and if you have a successful partnership, it could put a strain on it and ruin things. You made your feelings quite clear to her.

When and if she is ever willing to talk to you about it, she will. I would take the silence on her part as a sign to back off for now.

Yes, I am a Scorpio born on the Libra/Scorpio cusp. Sometimes I feel more of one sign than the other. I defintely have the directness of a Scorpio.

Get the hint 67, she doesnt like you, thats why she is pulling away. Maybe she doesnt want to have to state the obvious seeing as though you work together. The reason she is spending so much time with you is because you work together, get it?!

If i were you i wouldnt flatter yourself that she likes you, id say its all in your head.

Get real, you are married, why would she want to chase you when you are willing to cheat (even though you say you 'wont') on your wife? What sort of a person are you she would be asking yourself. Let me tell you one thing now, scorpio women are very choosey so dont think your feelings are recipricated necessarily.

I would get real and get with the program if i were you. Stop flattering yourself, go home and give your wife some attention. You did make a commitment to her didnt you?

Congradulations scorpio woman for seeing right through your self righteous, "i can have any woman i want because she looks at me", ways.

As i said, go home and give your wife some attention.

well, we work together because she wants to work on my projects.
There is nothing at all that requires her to work with me. We are independent consultants. It's all up to her.
Anyway, I thought that she wasn't interested in me either the first time...that's why I stopped.
She's the one that "re-initiated the association" - not me.

That's the confusing part.

I'm a Scorpio woman and I would actually say that you likely are NOT flattering yourself to think she has feelings for you--she probably does. Of course, having feelings and acting on them are two entirely different things. But you already know that, which is very commendable. My thing as a scorp female that I sometimes do, is go to extremes with people that I have feelings for--I swing between completely pulling away, and then completely consuming that person (not always physically; more often silently, if you know what I mean).

So just because she does this too, at least in my opinion does not rule out her having feelings for you. Especially if you're getting a strong "vibe" that she does. Although we scorps are said to naturally exude some vibes with everyone, we also know how to control it when we want or need to. I'm not sure exactly what her SPECIFIC reasons would be for pulling away in this manner (my reasons often have to do with loyalty or feeling that I'm being drawn into something that's just too intense)--but what I can tell you is that it doesn't necessarily (in this case I think it definitely doesn't) mean that your feelings are not reciprocated.

What is your sign by the way?

AAAHHH, SPOKEN FROM A VERY WISE SCORP WOMEN. ALTHOUGH YOUNG, SHE HAS THE WISDON OF MANY YEARS, HEY PHOENIX RISING, I HAVE BEEN MISSING YOUR INCREDIBLE WISDOM. GOOD TO SEE YOUR STILL HERE. MUCH RESPECT, SINCERELY!!!
SUSAN

I'm a gemini sun, pisces moon, asc in sag.
venus in gemini

she is scorpio sun, gemini moon, venus sag, and she
refuses to give me her birth time so I could work out
her whole chart (doesn't want me to know too much, I guess)
But from the basics - it looks like we have some compatibility
at least astrologically.

I just really don't know why we just can't air it out - get everyone on track, and
comfortable - and we can move on. I just feel like without having the discussion and just ignoring
everything, it just continues to be there as an undercurrent and I'm not sure
it's all that healthy to have stuff bottled up like that - from both sides - no matter who's feeling what.



Too me, talking it out would probably reduce the "tension - excitement"...

For sure, nothing would ever happen - I know this to be true. But sometimes, I guess these things happen, and I
think being honest and up front goes a long way.

Hey Susan, thanks for the props and much respect to you as well, sincerely!

Yep, I'm still here--but this is the first time I've been here in a few days as my internet seems to NEVER WANT TO CONNECT for some reason. I'll be connected for like 15 minutes, then disconnected. Grrr. I haven't been able to even reply to my friends' e-mails either...double grrr! lol.

To the original poster--you both have quite interesting planetary placements, do you realize this? The only additional insight I can give you based on the info you just gave me, comes from the fact that I also have Venus in Sagittarius and is this: I truly believe that my mannerisms in relationships (potential/undeveloped or otherwise) are influenced by venus in sag in the way that I do tend to be somewhat flighty in matters of love (I say "love" in the most broad sense of the word, you know?)...and it lends a certain amount of detachment; an ability to not get too intense with any one person (unless I'm ready and want to)--yet at the same time be able to juggle more than one person on a somewhat surface-level. It may also have the influence of causing me to run even more hot & cold than my Scorpio sun does. (Fiery but short-lived sag thing is what I'm referring to).

Does that make sense?

P.S. I agree with you that it would take the edge off of things if she would open up to you more; I hope she does. Have you tried playing her game? Not that I'm saying you should play games, I'm saying that maybe she would come to you if YOU pulled back--you might try it just to see. Sometimes that's what it takes for me to open up to someone...I have to see that I *might* lose them and then the challenge mixed with the fear of losing them jump-starts more communication with them.

No - I'm not really a game player. The feeling I have is very unique - maybe a once in a lifetime experience.
it's a serious feeling I have with her - not light. I never believed in "past-life" stuff before, but this certainly
has been something I've never experienced before.

My desire to know what she's thinking and feeling comes from need to know if she's experiencing anything like what I
might be going through. It would be a relief actually to be able to talk to her about it.

Anyway, no I didn't know we had interesting planets. My mars is in Aries and her venus is sag - so that's supposed to be good too.

If you have venus in sag and you are a scorpio - what should I do? And did I blow it with her - is she freaked out or can she hang?

What would you like if you were in her shoes (based on this story)?

Heather,

Without sounding too sappy, I was missing you. You remind me of home and when times were good!!!!

When I don't hear from you, I must admit, I get down and out! You are years my junior, but your wisdom is much respected and I don't say that to just anyone, for real!!! I do give you the utmost respect!

Maybe one day I'll make it back home. That is what I dream about!

Your friend
Susan

I still think you are flattering yourself. Why dont you pull away, give her the space and respect she needs and leave it up to her. Theres nothing worse than someone coming on strong with you and not getting the hint, its a major turn off and as said before, she can afford to be choosey. Oh yeah, AND she's married! Do you think that just because you would consider cheating on your wife (and dont tell me you wouldnt, you wouldnt be posting here if it was 'innocent') means that she has the same weakness of character that you do?!

Dream on gemini man and go wet your willy in somebody elses hole (maybe even your wifes').

If i were you i'd throw a bucket of cold water over myself and get with the program. If she doesnt want to speak to you, she doesnt want to speak to you, do you understand?!

Or do like Hillary Clinton(scorpio woman); she told Bush she would come over to his house and do yard work if he supported her!

I say, why not be like her husband (Bill Clinton) and give someone a blow job! Do you get the picture—?

This is really looking sleazy for ya!

Get a grip, and do the right thing!!!!

I know that is rare these days, but give it your best shot!

I like the previous posters reply; rude maube? But defintely to the point!

S

Damn, that was rude wasn't it!! Good!

I hate to hear this kind of stuff?

Married for only 19 months and already displaying such a WEAK character!!!!

She(the wife) ought to just get rid of the jerk!!!!

Well Susan, first of all don't worry about sounding sappy; I would miss your posts too if you were gone for a while! And I do feel very lucky that anyone older than me would consider me worthy of their respect; thank you for that and it's mutual! I never take that for granted with people; I think respect is one thing that everyone could show everyone else in this world a whole lot more frequently and it's to be treasured like a rare jewel, you know? And btw, I have a lot of respect for those who are older than I and have experienced so much more and have that worldly perspective on everything. But beyond that (meaning beyond just having respect for you as my "elder" or whatever), I actually like you, too! : )

Okay, now...

I do think that some of you are coming down a little hard on this guy. It sounds to me like he is only wanting to find out what her feelings are for him at this point. I really don't think the two of them are going to just hop in the sack ASAP. I don't think he's stepped outside of his marriage in any real way yet at this point, so it might be harsh to paint him as an adulterer just yet. All he wants is to know how she feels. And really, let's DO "get real": people fall in love with other people besides their spouse. It is not that rare. It is probably why there is such a high divorce rate. Not everyone who walks down the aisle, is meeting up at the altar with the person they SHOULD be meeting up with. It is possible that his wife isn't right for him and this woman is. It is also possible that the opposite is true. I don't think we can EVER control our feelings at all. We can only control what actions we take based on those feelings. He hasn't really been disloyal to his wife yet, just by having feelings. He probably could have acted on those feelings already, and out of respect for his marriage partener, didn't. So let's cut the guy a bit of slack...though I too hate the idea of adultery, I do realize that sometimes feelings change, and people find out their with the wrong person later.

excss01 (hope I got your handle right): Just based on your story and the fact that I have Venus in Sag/Sun in Scorpio, what I would personally want is for you to just find some way to verbally, straight-out ask me, in a gentle way, everything that you've been asking on these boards. Just tell her that you truly need to know, if for nothing else than your own peace of mind, what she's thinking and feeling. Tell her that regardless of her response, your working relationship will not change, and that proffessionalism is completely seperate from your personal life. Tell her that no matter how she feels about you, you will continue to treat her kindly and with respect. Tell her that you feel it would greatly improve the air of tension surrounding the two of you, to just express how she feels, clearly and without reservation. Tell her you will absolutely back off and consider it water under the bridge if she would like you to do that. And when you tell her all of these things, do so without being aggressive, or whiny, or needy--and most of all, don't tell her she's irritating you with her silence and reticence--and definitely don't ACT as though you're irritated, or short on time, or impatient. In fact, tell her that you can understand that she might feel the need to pull away and take a breather occasionally. But you would very much like to know if it's because your feelings aren't reciprocated, or for other reasons.

You never know, she may feel this intensity too, which may be a little much for her to deal with on a regular basis. It may be that she is, out of loyalty to her husband, trying to stop having whatever feelings she has. It also may be that she sees you more as her friend and co-worker than anything else. I don't get the feeling that's what it is, but you need to prepare for the worst just in case. I wish you luck, and continue to ask questions as ofte

Yeah your right. susan was a little tanked last night!

okay!!@ he might not have stepped out of his so called marriage but he defintley is out of line. I have a good idea for him. Why doesn't he ask his wife what she thinks! Yes, Yes, Yes, I think we should feel sorry for him and give him some astrological advice he only wants to know a little qustion!! Give me a break. Why do you want to coddle a homewreaker—? and a cheater— maybe that is being judgemental. I think it is sound advice and if not then everything I know and learned in life has been wrong!!! Shoot me I am the one that is screwed up!!!

"It is possible that his wife isn't right for him and this woman is."

Come on, if this is what it is, then be a man about it and get out of it and then fool around. do you think he took the time to do an astrological chart on his wife. My bet is he doesn't even know what her venus is, but he knows this one he has the trots for! Please, I just can't undo all the things I hvae been taught about honesty, integrity, and marriage!

OK. Thanks for all the advice. I have been married for 8 years, never even THOUGHT of another woman, love my wife dearly,
she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. AND I would never cheat on her. This scorpio is someone I've known for 19 months
I don't think 3 letters in 19 months is coming on THAT strong...and basically, it's a very unique situation for me. I would like to get a better handle on what's going on
thus, I figure since she's a scorpio and being honest and up front is so important to them - I decided to be up front with her. I just kind of expect the same.
Out of respect, I would hope she could come clean with her true feelings on these matters (ni matter what they are). It would take away alot of the edge...that certainly doesn't contribute to
things comfortable. So that's really what it's about. really.
Anyway, talking to her up front to her face about this is not the right thing to do. I've tried it once before, and she just gets very upset and nervous. remember, I am not her superior, not does she have any reason to decide
to work with me. It's all up to her.

All I can say to the original poster is this- You married your wife because you loved her. You made a committement to her when you said your vows. I ask you this simple question. What would you think/feel if your wife was writing letters to another man in her life? Would you be comfortable with that, or would it upset you? I'll bet it would upset you and so you must be wise about what you are doing.

You call it harmless..(only three little letters). Nothing that takes your attention off of your wife and on to another woman is harmless. Reality check. Stop lying to yourself I believe you know the truth about what you are doing.

Sorry to be so blunt..just a little Scorpio opinion.

Excellent post above. Cut right through it and tell it like it is!!! Your WISDOM is solid...something to be very proud of and thankful for. You can't buy that you have to earn it!

128, stop trying to make it sound so pretty and stop trying to justify yourself on a site full of women who hate to be cheated on! The fact is we all get tempted (with various things) but we dont try to make out there is a 'special connection' when all we want is some pussy, purleeease...!

If you are not going to be honest with your wife or yourself then at least be honest with us. We are not stupid you know (although thats debatable, answering posts like these!).

I think the thing that annoys me is that you will cheat even though you say you wont. Its your lack of honesty that riles me.

Take it step by step because thats what you done. You are building a progression of steps towards this woman and try to tell me you wont take the next step if given the opportunity, purleeease...

I feel sorry for your wife. God pity her.