:Male Scorpio driving Picses woman mad!!!

I have a male scorpio friend that I have known for over 20 years. We went to high school together and hung around in the same circles. On several occasions, we hooked up (kissing only) amd I couldn't believe the chemistry we had! I am a pisces. It was very passionate. Things would always go back to normal as if nothing had ever happened. I adored him because he was funny and I loved spending time with him but I never thought he was "boyfriend" material. But, I never forgot about his kisses! OMG! He was very sensual for a boy of 17. We both went off to college and he came home a year before I did. When I moved back home, I was in love with "another scorpio" but the relationship ended. Now,after all this time and many relationships later, we've found ourselves in a place where we wanted to see if the magic was still there. He started it. He said he had been wanting me for years and throwing hints my way but I never seemed to catch on. We went to lunch one day and we kissed for the first time in over 20 years and the magic was still there! He just moved into his new home about 4 months ago and it's gorgeous and custom all the way. He invited me over and we talked for a while and one thing led to another and we spend 3 hours in bed. It was so passionate, I almost couldn't take it. And he would look me right in my eyes and told me things that made me feel like I had found my sexual soulmate. Well, between his busy schedule and my busy schedule, we see each other about once a week but we email and chat almost everyday. In bed, I feel like we are on the same page. He really expresses hisself and so do I but I think that comes natural for both of us. But out of bed, we seem out of sync. For instance, if he calls from work, something always interups him and he has to get off the phone. He says he will call back but he very seldom does. But if he see's me online. He wants to talk. I know he is very busy. He is an Executive in the gambling industry and they all got blown away by Katrina. So he is extra busy. I have been somewhat reserved because I don't want to chase a man. As a matter of fact, it is a turn off to me. I liked to be chased. A couple of nights ago, we were chatting online and he says, "I love you" as much as a person can love a friend of more than 20 years." What the hell does that mean—? In my opinion, it could mean many different things. The things he says vs. the things he does don't match up. He's wishy washy.

I know he loves me. We have said that to each other many times over the years we are close friends. Is he saying he is "In love" with me? When he made the statement You know, HIM: I dont want to scare you away with any mushy shit but...............
ME: But what? HIM: "Ilove you" as much as a person can love a friend of more than 20 years.' My reply was "That's sweet. When do you want to get together this week?" He has been acting "stand offish" since that conversation. He's hardly called and we haven't chatted or emailed in 3 days. I pride myself on never putting myself in a position to get hurt. So if a relationship works out, fine. If it doesn't, that's fine too. I was hurt really bad by the scorpio I dated in college and it took me years to get over it. But I find myself wanting to let my guard down with this guy but I just can't bring myself to do it. Except in the bedroom. None of my rules apply when it comes to kissing, touching, talking, etc. Did I scare him away by my response?
Have I scared him away because as much as I hate to say it, I am feeling hurt that I have not heard from him and I have been thinking about writing him a letter and telling him that I want to go back to being friends because I can't stand being vunerable to someone and thinking there will be more hurt to come. Did I hurt him by what I said and should I bring it up to him? If there are any scorpio men out there that would like to put their two cents in, I'd appreciate it. I'd appreciate any responses from anyone also. Thanks to whoever is reading this and can give me some insight!

I say bring it up, yes. There's really no chance that I could understand whether you scared him or not, because it could be anything that's causing him to labor or delay over contacting you now, unless you know something more about it... otherwise it might just be unneccessary worry. In my opinion, the Pisces perception can be perfect one second, and then straying the next, so hopefully you're seeing his hesitation clearly, and not mistaking it as what it isn't. Bring it up and save one of you, or both, some anxiety. You don't have to if you don't feel the need to, but one worry will lead to others, so...

Hi, I'm new here - and I totally see where you're coming from about Pisces perception Elliot.

Pisces will usually 'sense' everything intensely, on a basic sort of level. But then ask them to decipher the exact meaning of it, or to put a name on it and watch them struggle, and struggle. And then struggle some more. An example to clarify : I remember this one ocurrence when I spent the day with my boyfriend. Everything was going great. Then at one point, I begin to 'sense' something is wrong. There's no evidence whatsoever to support this but nevermind silly details like that: I know. We're in the subway just then. After one station I'm searching my mind anxiously for whatever it is I might have done to irritate him (even though he hasn't indicated in any way that I have) and by the third station I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that this relationship is over and I'm psyching myself to remain calm, cool and collected when he breaks the news.
So yeah, I'm ready when he breaks the news at the fourth station, but they're not exactly what I'm expecting/dreading: 'I'M STARVING!' he announces and I can see he is, and that's why I'm picking up a cranky vibe.

Eureka.

You can make fun of me all you want - he did! (I had to explain why I looked so absurdly relieved that he was hungry) but my point is, as a pisces, I did sense something was off. But since I couldn't pinpoint what that something was, my pisces imagination (not always the blessing it's made out to be) took over and blew things out of proportion. A little.

I'm assuming this is pisceslike, but it could just be me?

Anyway, to get back to your problem lala, his declaration sounds to me like a Scorpio's way of wearing his heart on his sleeve - meaning he went as far as he could go while still ensuring that his pride would come off intact if ever your response wasn't all that he wanted to hear. If I'm right, then your answer might have seemed a bit flippant to him and he's now laughing bitterly to himself about how he was quite right to not let himself go completely in case he got hurt, and isn't self-control a wonderful thing since he avoided getting wounded (of course he wouldn't admit to anyone and much less to himself that he is in fact, bleeding all over the place).

Of course, there's always the strong possibility that this is me going off on another tangent

I've written an awfully long post, when what I really mean, is listen to Elliot's advice ^.^

lala, I agree with the board (elliot, emgem), and my first reaction would have been to ask him exactly what he meant by adding the last part. Second, I agree with Tea, totally. Your "That's sweet. When do you want to get together this week?" sounded like you didn't take his words seriously -- the first three words -- that is.

Now I'm not saying you were wrong in saying what you said. Maybe you were protecting your feelings too, since he found it necessary to lessen the impact of his love declaration by adding that last part. But at that moment, you had the opportunity to ask him what he meant and you didn't. So even if he did take your response as blase, you are the one who wants to know what he meant. He may want to know something too, but he won't ask you.

So if you want anything deep out of him now, you will have to fix it. You want to know whether he is "in love" with you, so you'll have to bring up the conversation again. Try to pick the right moment to talk about this because if he's busy at work, or his mind is on something else, he may blow it off. But know this, he won't forget your response to what he said -- especially if he really loves you. So if there's been a misunderstanding, it's best to get it cleared up.

I really appreciate all of your responses! I did email him and addressed everything and he didn't email me back! A couple of days later, I saw where he IM'd me but the only thing that was there was a sad face. I sent him another email and told him I felt like the sex was getting in the way of the friendship and that I though we should go back to being friends. He keeps sending me IM's that he misses me. He's sorry he didn't address my email but the casino is having the Grand Opening very soon and he has just been very busy. But I always make time for what is important to me and I feel he should have addressed it by now. He acts like he is going to ignore the fact that I told him we should go back to being friends. He keeps saying I'm always on his mind and he got a lot of things done this past weekend except "what he wanted to do with me". I'm just kind of over it and as much as I hate to give up such a passionate sexual connection, I believe I'll feel better having my dignity in tact. His actions just do not support what comes out of his mouth and I'm not going to put myself in a position played. So he will be getting a dose of his own medicine. I don't want to ruin our friendship. He thinks he's gonna sweet talk me back into the bedroom but I'm not going to let that happen.

I know that a scorpio is warm and cold and can be wishy washy by nature. But, as well as he knows me, he's quite aware that I won't be cutting him anymore slack because of our friendship. I spoke with him today but I got off the phone as quick as I could. A friend of mine was over today looking at my new 16 inch tile I put in the house and the next thing I know, she's calling him to find out if they are going to have a four card poker table. He found out she was with me and ask to talk to me. He talked a little bit about the casino and how the gaming board was driving him nuts. I told him I had to go because I still had to go back to Lowe's and we had bad weather coming. So he says "I miss you" and I said "Okay, talk to ya later". Before we ever slept together, we talked a lot on the phone and spent time together so none of our friends even know that we took the relationship in another direction. That was my decision to keep it private. And nobody has caught on. He's ended several relationships because his girlfriends couldn't understand our phone conversations or having lunch. I really never had too to do that because any of my boyfriends understood our long history and friendship and they didn't feel threatend. We'll be okay regardless. Yeah, I love him and I'll love him the rest of my life. But being "In Love" with him is a different animal. I know deep down that it could happen. If you would have ask me 6 months ago if I could fall in love with my best guy friend, I would have laughed. But the sex opened my eyes to this connection that there are no words to explain it. He brought it up first saying that he had no idea that I would be as passionate and fearless. we locked eyes and never stopped looking at each other. When you have an orgasm and you are looking directly into that persons eyes, it is a very powerful intense feeling. It is very hard for me not to want that again. I'm gonna have to end this hear because I can't think about it anymore.

"I love you as much as a person can love a friend of more than 20 years."

i know i know nothing of who this guy is, but im willing to bet that this wasnt so much a softening qualifier to the loaded 3 word phrase as much as it was a descriptor... to explain how MUCH he loves you. that's just my thinking though... i could be totally wrong.

and i understand what your saying about making the time for the one you love thing... but i've learned that when stressed and busy with work or lifes matters, no matter HOW much they love you, guys will be more focused on that stressor. its just the way they are. if you're gonna be sensitive to a guy, then you should notice how the meaning in his affectionate words never changes. the consistency will change when he's going through a situation like that, but if it's love then it's the only thing that will change. (please guys... correct me if i'm wrong) we women who love affectionate attention really need to learn that... it's still there, there are just responsibilities he's trying to move out of the way to get back to you. show consistent support yourself and im almost positive it would never go unnoticed or unnappreciated by a scorp guy.

hey guys.. some feed back? hrmmm maybe a new thread 🙂

Hi Guys,

I really think you guys are so great for taking the time to share your opinions and advise with me. It really helps a lot. I have gotten several IM's from him below.

6/26 I am so glad to hear you had a nice weekend. I did not get to do a few things I wanted to do! With you of course..... And yessssssss, I do admit, I should have called you back at lunch. I have been running scared to the fact I didnt. I am so sorry! I miss U!

6/27 I want to make up some things to you. We plan on opening the 29th at 10am. I will be working on and off during our opening. I am so over working all the time. I have been doing 7/12's for too long. I need to make up some time with you! I think of you constantly and cant get you off my mind. I miss you!

6/28 Thinking of U!

And yes, there is no doubt in my mind that he feels the same connection with me sexually. Not only does he express it in the bedroom, he has told me that he felt a very stong connection with me sexually and he had never had a connection so strong.

Thoughts anyone?

Hey Lala,

I think emerald and creepypants have already got it covered with their sound advice, but I'll add my two cents anyway, for what it's worth ^.^ What I have in common with you is that I'm also a pisces and my bf is a scorpio.

One thing I've learnt with with my boyfriend is that if he tells me he's working like crazy so he can't get in touch with me much for a while, it doesn't mean he doesn't love me anymore or he's losing interest or whatever. It just means he's working. If he was losing interest, then that's what he'd tell me. I mean they're pretty straightforward that way and once I understood that, I also got to really appreciate it, especially because as a mutable pisces nothing ever seems certain to me and I like, doubt the universe in its entirety (go on, scratch your head here, I know you want to)but I know I can take what he says at face value. I'd also take the messages he sent you as being positive. I mean, he's even admitting he should have called earlier and saying he's sorry. From what I know (and I know my fair share of scorpios) these guys don't usually justify their actions even when they know they're in the wrong (maybe even especially when they know they're in the wrong)! So this tells me he does care.

It seems to me like you could give it a try ^.^

Unless they're still quite young and inexperienced, I don't believe scorpios will immediately start wearing their heart on their sleeve and from what you say, maybe both of you are unsure of how to handle this because your friendship is also at stake here. You also sound very scared of getting hurt and/or putting your pride on the line.

I totally understand that, but at some point, in any relationship that you want to work you have to put yourself at risk. Even when relationships do work and are wonderful, you'll sometimes hurt, it's a part of it all. But hopefully the good times more than make up for the bad times 😄

Oh and my bf and I also started by being the closest of friends before we ever became an official item. And yes, you never saw a friendship that ambiguous in your life! Oh wait, you're experiencing that right now 😉 But it did work out fine in the end. Whatever happens with you, I wish you all the best Lala!

Hi i am an Aries and have an ex-boyfriend that is a scorpio but i still don't know if were bak together or if he is still an ex. When i 1st met him i had him trapped and he would come by my house every chance he get and i never liked him for some strange reason. I even used to tell my sister to tell him i wasn't ther. When we had sex for the first time i made the moves on him especially cuz i was drunk but it wasn't the best sex for me. since than he never left me alone so i think a scorpio is attracted to a girl that makes the first move because now that i have am concentrating on my life and my daughter which isn't his,i do not make the first move anymore but i still tell him i love him and he tells me the same but still doesn't know if he wants to be with me like that. I love him so much and he knows dat. the other night i told him i was seeing somebody else and i'm ready the get married and have a family he called me and we stayed on the phone for hours,something we stop doing. My point is the scorpio i had trapped changed because of circumstances and i think being sexy and always looking good is the best way to keep a scorpio and always make the first move with sex do it anywhere and watch how he will become whipped. you have to beat his freakiness to win him. I'm not a freak anymore so. though not to long ago we had sex and i rode him so good now i think i might be pregnant. we had sex 2hrs before that and he came in me like he didnt care if i got pregnant. i called and spoke to him about wat he wanna do and he wants to be ther for me and he wants me to have his baby but he just doesn't show it. he doesn't call unless he wants to see me but he will text me to death or im me like crazy just to see how my day went.. so be as fine as u can be for him and if he is willing to get ur pregnant that is the only way u'll probably know how serious he is when something as serious as that happens. lata