Navigating Through Emotional Judgement

They tell me I feel too much, my emotions are overwhelming to be around....and they want me to smile and laugh more. I've just come to accept I have a stretched gasket, which allows my eyes to overflow like a reservoir that has been filled to the brim.

They tell me it must be trauma, abandonment, lack of worth due to some childhood wound....that I need a counselor, "it just isn't normal to be like this," they say....
Somehow it's normal for me.

They say I need some help, that my workaholic attitude is a distraction from looking at my life. Yet I work to mainly keep a roof over my head and bills paid.

They tell me I should see their therapist, that they would be able to "fix" me.

They don't see how tacking me onto a board, pointing and poking at my emotional responses to the world, makes me more defensive, more withdrawn, uncomforatable to show up as who I am....Yes, I can get tearful in certain situations but who hasn't had their Anahata activated from unexpected interactions? You'd prefer a mask of complacency?

I have come to connect my emotional nature to my astrology, having 5 planets in a water sign in my communication house, my moon in leo in the twelfth, Saturn in the first. Without any background of understanding in astrology, they wash away my words with an heir of righteous reasoning...."do the stars effect the life of a fly?"

I shake my head, my eyes well....not because of a choice, a decision to do so....Not because I am "sad" or dramatic, but because it just happens. My dam overfloweth.

Why does it do that? I don't know. Maybe because I'm a mammal, and I'm an emotional being.

I notice a different response with different people. In the company of some, they want to disqualify it. Others attempt to try to change the subject....but I'll never forget the grace my dear Aunt lend me during a recent visit to Wisconsin in reference to her pup getting "motional"...it made me smile sweetly, and when I found myself tearing up during conversation while in their company, I'd say, "uff, here I go again.... getting all motional," and it would make us all laugh, and as if by magic, change my breath and lift my spirit.

It's amazing what a little light-hearted support will do for one's sense of being, as opposed to the defenses that kick in when people aim for what they perceive as a weakness, proposing they are going after it with the best intentions by using a sledgehammer and a smile.

Who needs a critic more than they

They tell me I feel too much, my emotions are overwhelming to be around....and they want me to smile and laugh more. I've just come to accept I have a stretched gasket, which allows my eyes to overflow like a reservoir that has been filled to the brim.

They tell me it must be trauma, abandonment, lack of worth due to some childhood wound....that I need a counselor, "it just isn't normal to be like this," they say....
Somehow it's normal for me.

They say I need some help, that my workaholic attitude is a distraction from looking at my life. Yet I work to mainly keep a roof over my head and bills paid.

They tell me I should see their therapist, that they would be able to "fix" me.

They don't see how tacking me onto a board, pointing and poking at my emotional responses to the world, makes me more defensive, more withdrawn, uncomforatable to show up as who I am....Yes, I can get tearful in certain situations but who hasn't had their Anahata activated from unexpected interactions? You'd prefer a mask of complacency?

I have come to connect my emotional nature to my astrology, having 5 planets in a water sign in my communication house, my moon in leo in the twelfth, Saturn in the first. Without any background of understanding in astrology, they wash away my words with an heir of righteous reasoning...."do the stars effect the life of a fly?"

I shake my head, my eyes well....not because of a choice, a decision to do so....Not because I am "sad" or dramatic, but because it just happens. My damn overfloweth.

Why does it do that? I don't know. Maybe because I'm a mammal, and I'm an emotional being.

I notice a different response with different people. In the company of some, they want to disqualify it. Others attempt to try to change the subject....but I'll never forget the grace my dear Aunt lend me during a recent visit to Wisconsin in ....need a friend?

I don't beleive I'm broken; I'm just human. Perhaps I feel more than most...perhaps I'm a titch more sensitive than the average Joe...but I prefer it to being numb. Granted, there are many times I've wished I had absolute control over this...emotion variable, but in all honesty I've come to accept it. This "fault" of sorts has opened a gateway to connecting to people....not through wallowing in heartache, but by supporting people as they move through the trials of life, and not judging them for "feeling" it.

Life is a trip.

They need the critic, and someday their judgemental attitude will come back and bite them in the ass.
My guess is you've suffered through some adversity and your stress levels are high even if you feel you are managing them. The spontaneous combustion (lol) is your bodies way of saying "Too Much".
My advice is to avoid or disengage with those that are not loving and supportive.
Find ways to help relieve your stress like meditation and exercising...

It takes a stupid amount of energy to explain emotions to people who spend most their time burying them. It is just wild to me how much my own self-valuation is driven by whether people accept me or judge me. What's up with that? It's so uncomforting...not that we always need to be comfortable, but who the heck gave the measuring stick to the critic who has little to no understanding of the subject at hand but sits on the sidelines deaming who's crazy and who's sane? Heck no I'm not a robot, heck yes I feel life all be it quite intensely at times, but isn't that one way we are all connected? Energy in motion...aka e-motion?

We have this thing....in our chests, it pumps blood holding iron through our bodies. It is literally a magnetic frequency generator of sorts where we experience exchange. It is our Anahata, or "umstruck chord," it is our heart chakra. A major disfunction of this energy center could result in physical manifestation. Heart disease is the number 2 killer in the United States. A lot of this depends on how well we nurture ourselves with food, however many lines of authorship have drawn the connection between emotional ties to physical illnesses. So burying emotions seems like a bad idea, like a dam that gets reinforced over and over again. Experiencing emotions is normal, who ever decided to encourage the idea that we should repress them and shame ourselves for feeling things, seeded many unnecessary illnesses to come.

We express what we feel, through our throat chakra. If we are afraid of speaking our truth, it can often show up as a blockage and through time, physical manifestation of some disfunction or illness of the throat. I experienced this one for myself.

We all learn to see things differently through time, at least I hope so. Pay attention t the body, it is wise and sincere teacher.

We are really interesting creatures.

Thank you Twirling Strawberry 🙂
You are the third person to tell me that...now just to just do it. Do you suggest a certain bridge? Or just start posting a link places?

I've started them on blogger before and have considered wordpress. It would be a nice option to be able to monetize it though...I currently do the majority of my surfing and writing on the internet via my phone, which is so frustrating as I have been a writer all my life and feel so limited by this thumb typing madness. Perhaps it could help cover the cost of having internet at home, God how I miss typing with all my fingers.

Delaneyswell.wordpress.com

It has begun.
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Posted by Katness
Delaneyswell.wordpress.com

It has begun.
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Don't listen to anybody. You're right with everything you feel and believe. You are human and have a right to feel how you want and there is NOTHING wrong with you. You're perfect.