Need help! New Scorpio girlfriend withdrawing!

Hey all,

Im 26 and a cap. My girlfriend is 23 and a Scorpio. I met her only 3 weeks ago. I am a very picky so once I find something/someone I like I go for it. We hit it off very well after we met (via a mutual friend). After 4 days I told her I wanted her to be my gf (yea I know that was kinda fast and impulsive). She agreed and then 2 days later said she was not ready and that she could not explain it to me and that it had nothing to do with me that I was exactly what she was she was looking for. Normally I would have cut ties and moved on but it did not seem like that kind of a situation and we hung for a few hours right after and had our normal fun/deep conversations.

We agreed to pretend like I had never asked and let things move forward naturally. The next day she initiated texting me (I was in a wedding that day) and things kept rolling from there. We'd hang out a few nights a week and talk on the phone a few hours at night (never intentionally we just get carried away) on the days we did not see each other. One of us usually initiates a good morning text. All last week she would not go more than 3 hours without texting me. Last weekend I moved into a new place and she came to help me set it up. Afterword we had a few drinks and somehow the previous conversation came up about her not being ready and she said she now was. That night we came close to being intimate for the first time (I've never gone the route of waiting before, usually thats the first thing that happens) and she stopped me saying that "Its not that she did not want to..." I didn't push it I figured she was not ready or maybe it was that time of the month. But I could tell she wanted to.

As the week progressed the text frequency slowed down. Responses from her became shorter and absent her normal smiley faces. When I went to visit her she kinda seemed like she did not want me there though it was her idea for me to come over. She is very hard to read. I am not sure if I did something or if I just need to let her have her time, I know I can get that way myself. I just want to understand and know the best way to handle it. I know she is constantly testing me and making mental notes. Last night we went out with mutual friends and when we got back to her place I left about 10 minutes after which is much earlier than normal because she seemed kinda annoyed by me and disinterested. As I went to leave she got upset thinking I was not going to give her a goodbye kiss (which I was no

well that is kind of fast to ask her to be your gf. me as a scorpio well I was born on the cusp but I feel I obtain a majority of my scorpio side rather than sag. anyway as a scorpio we act off emotions a lot and I know dealing with a cap woman caps in general have a way of making us so emotional to the point where we act different all the time. you asked her when she didn't fully think things out as a scorpio though it doesn't take us long to know if we like someone. you need to give her space because emotions run deep within a scorpio and just take things slower then she'll come around in a better way. for a cap and as for a scorpio you know actions speak louder than words. well let her actions speak first and foremost. just give her space don't show her any attention and she will come around.

maybe she feels embarrassed or 'unsure' about whatever happened last weekend and she is needing some space to think it over. I would just ask her if she is ok? Be a little more sensitive to that maybe, i know caps can be a little cold sometimes. Its best to ask her but not in a pushy way. Also, maybe suggest if she wants to talk about anything you are there for her but you will give her space if she needs it.

As a scorp we tend to withdraw and sometimes i dont really know what. Like handsome said, we are just emotional and sometimes something triggers our emotions and we need to take time to understand what happened. Hope that makes sense.

**As a scorp we tend to withdraw and sometimes i dont really know WHY

At this point have backed away. I don't want to make a fool out of myself... I am not ignoring her or playing games just giving her some space and seeing how things play out. I am not even certain if her withdrawal has anything to do with me. It is possible that it is work or family related. There has been some drama in both. I don't cope with things the way it appears she does so I am having a hard time understanding what she is going through but I am sure as hell trying... Maybe she is too focused on that stuff and I am being put on the back burner? I usually can get a solid read on people but this girl has my head spinning...

Tell her you want to be with her and are open to talking/texting when she feels like/has time.

Leave it at that.If she is interested,she will come around.

Posted by Scorpvenus
Tell her you want to be with her and are open to talking/texting when she feels like/has time.

Leave it at that.If she is interested,she will come around.

I feel like I have made that pretty clear. From what I have read on here Scorpio's don't share many things and as a cap I don't volunteer much information either. However we have both told each other things we would not tell just anyone. That comfort level has already been established and she knows how I feel towards her...

It's now been 24 hours. Normally in a situation like this I would think twice about it... it is just one day. But it is like things took a 180 and I have no idea how. I just hope everything is ok with her and that she will come around...I mean I am getting on a plane with her in 4 days....

Short notice love/bf/gf announcements don't come well with me.

Although flattered, I think as fast as it comes, it will be out the door in same speed.

Be her friend first. Keep contact. Don't make grand announcements.

I know from past CAP I dated, he offered me a trip in a very short period of time. I declined.
I'm glad I did, because I found out he does that with all the girls he meets.

Most and foremost, YOU have to be clear about your feelings for her. This takes time. She will take her time to make sure you are in it to stay.

The trip was her idea...I was supposed to go somewhere else and I could not. I was going to cancel my ticket she pushed me to transfer for it... The only thing I did that she made clear was too fast was ask her out and she came back saying she was ready like a week later...

I am not the type of person who does things like that easily or takes trips with anyone. The last 2 girls I dated I never even asked them to be my gf. They asked me after a few months.. But with this girl I was certain I wanted to be with and I figured why wait... How do I know if she is upset with me??

OK. I guess she has some soul searching and cleaning up of skeletons in the closet to do.

If that's the case, it will take some time until she feels ready to let you in to the reason.

It could be due to some past hurt perhaps or other things, but...

When I went to visit her she kinda seemed like she did not want me there though it was her idea for me to come over.

I can get like that too when I'm afraid that my feelings may take me over and you will disappoint me.

My guard goes up. I need assurance. Assurance in a subtle way that you will be there for me and never said these things, like offer gf/bf so early in the stage to another girl.

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My second speculation is her change after having sex with you. Did anything occur you can recall (could be a conversation or some action) she didn't like or made her act withdrawn?

OK I just talked to her on the phone. Asked her what's been going on and she said that she did not want me to think our trip was a "Big deal" and that she does not normally do stuff like that...I took at as hey buddy don't think we are moving faster than we are here.

So I basically said I look at as an opportunity to spend time with her, have fun together and get to know her more. That I am not trying to force things between us and let them progress naturally.. which is the same thing I told her when she originally told me she was not ready to date me. I asked why she did not just tell me and she said I really like you and did not want you to stop talking to me.

I said how did I handle things when when you said you weren't ready before? She said I handled it perfect I let her take the lead on moving things forward. I said look, don't be afraid to offed, I told you last time that I respected you and your feelings (I also showed it) and you should not have to be afraid to tell me something like that. I understand that at times things with us seem as if they moving very fast but I am not trying to push them beyond what they are.

We talked a bit more and she had to go then said she would call me later.

So the gist of what I took (from reading between the lines) was I really like you. This is kind of scary for me. It is moving fast and I don't want to you to push me... I am glad we had this talk she said she felt better and so do I so hopefully things go smooth till the next time... haha

Thoughts?

Good answer!

You are in the right track. She is open with you.

The "Big Deal" statement probably means a SEX FEST. You brought up your feelings and your respect. All puzzle stones seem to fit right.

Yea that would be the only thing I can think of. We have yet to have sex... From what I have read it will be well worth the wait! This is the first time ever that I have waited and while I am excited for it does I honestly don't want to cross that line too soon. I prefer sex to be an expression and different form on connection. I really never enjoyed the one night stand thing... I am just happy this situation is moving in the right direction. I can envision a long future with her so what is the rush?