Need to get this off my chest

I'm upset at my Cancer man. Why is it that when I've mustered up some courage to walk away because I got to say the last word, he just had to come and ruin it for me? Then after I replied to his messages he pulled the disappearing act on me again. He lives on the north part of the country, and I, south. The last time we saw each other was in July. Due to his work he can't come to visit this month as previously promised. Now, you don't make a promise to me unless you mean it. Nevertheless, I understood. It's work, he's busy until November he said.

We used to talk longer and every night until we both fall asleep, and we's text each other throughout the day at work. We used to race home from work so we could hear each other's voice. Recently, it's been short and not every day anymore. Yes, he is busy and tired, but I see him online on Skype when he was supposed to be at work. I had to "investigate" his behavior. Probing didn't work because either he could sense what I was trying to do or he just didn't understand what I said completely. Then when the tension got high and I got so angry (I almost said "goodbye", but instead I said "sorry for wasting your time"), he pulled the "I'm really sad" card because I'm angry and my accusation made him sad. What about what I feel?! He's so selfish! I probably am too, but I don't wanna set myself up for another heartbreak.

I told him that I hate not knowing. Not knowing means my suspicion gone wild. I see the slight change in patern, I detect something is not going the way it's supposed to be. Why couldn't he just communicate with me and tell me that he hasn't changed (not to his knowledge but I NOTICED). He knows that I have a trust issue and knows that I always wonder what he's doing and whether he is trustworthy and deserve my devotion and undying love. So why can't he understand that and be more sensitive towards my feelings?

Now I'm sitting here depressed, hurt, lonely and it's raining outside... (T_T)