PLEASE HELP SCORPIO FEMALE

i am new here and i come to this message board for help because it is all inside.i am a 29 year old scorpio male and the mother of my child is a 28 year old scorpio female.we started in 2002,was a passionate love affair for a long time and we had a son in 2005,it seems like it all went down hill from there,it all started going down,she pretty much left me to raise my son the first 3 years of his life while she ran the bars and had sex with a few other men,i somehow remained loyal,then came the break up over money and she started to take my son to random guys houses and moving random guys in our home,i didnt get to see my son for a year,the judge ordered supervised visits for a couple of weeks and when we meet back up we somehow fell in love again,was not my plan,guess i finally got closure when she told me about the affairs and was excited about having my family back,she use to say i cant believe you forgave me for that,i used to say me either lol,she was unemployed for 6 months,i paid the mortgage never said a word,was happy to because it was my family,then again it went south,i loved this woman unconditionally,through drug withdraws i never judged just confined,started treating me terrible the last 2 months,she hacked my facebook account and saw flirtatious messages,not really,but it was like she already was looking for an alibi to sell the house and move in with her mom,just sneaky for no reason,she sends me texts like i miss my best friend out of nowhere,and i will always care for you blah blah,i dont respond,im too the point where i really want revenge,and i know its not right,i really want to hurt her an a emotional way,if i just ignore her will this work,the sad thing is i still get jealous as hell when i hear of her with another guy,i thought scorpio females have undying loyalty,probably just a special case,its so heartless for no reason,i know once im seen with another girl she is gonna be jealous,but i cant just fake it like that,will we always be connected in some way,besides the child,why does she ever get hers,please help scorpio ladies,the sad thing is i think i still love her,not want to be with her,where are my phoenix like powers at now😢

The reason she ran away from you was to see if you'd chase after her
so that she could then know she was worth something to you.

BUT ... it is not practical nor legal to do that in today's society.
Unfortunately, her primal instincts do not allow her to reason this.

I suggest just telling her this:

"I wish that I could not go to jail for chasing after you when you
leave and run around with other guys. I wish I could just break down
your door and take you so that you'd know I want to be with you
but it is not fair to you to harass you that way IF that is not
what you wanted me to do, deep down, if you really wanted me out of your life.
I don't want our son to see his father treating his mother badly
and harassing her - I don't want him to learn that type of behavior
nor to have a father who is in and out of jail for stalking her.

What we teach him will affect his relationships for life.

In a perfect world, I would come home to both of you and you'd
both be glad to see me. But you know it is hard for both of us
to express those notions when we are not sure if the other feels
the same, since we are both very AFRAID of not being wanted by
the other - and though I want to, it is damned hard to put my arms
around you when you don't seem to want my arms around you.

I wish we were together, both for me AND for our son. But I don't
know if YOU want to be with me or not. What I know for sure is
that our son is worth trying to deal with our issues.
Again, I am AFRAID to come and talk to you because I fear that I
would not be welcomed and that you would get the law involved
and REGARDLESS of how you feel about me, that is bad for our son
to see that kind of problem.

But I sure wish we could get this sorted out.

Would you be up for some counseling with me?
It would be great if we could figure out a way to live with
each other without hurting each other, but that is secondary
to us finding A FAIR WAY to provide a good life for our son
in which HE won't be hurt or sad or think that we "hate"
each other. I want him to know that he was created out of love
and was a "surprise" - not an "accident".

I hope that if this sounds reasonable, you will trust in this direction
that I will lead you in.
=========================
Give her 7 days to respond.

Wow.. Someone should drop her down and hard. So she would learn to respect other people. Would be easier for you if you don't need to see her ever. But you have a child.. You still love her? Why? Is she so lovable? If not then I suggest you to move on. Take care of your child and try to find someone who respects you.

This is so strange...my partner explains his ex (also a scorp) in the same way. Everything being fine until their baby, him left to raise it, him left to work for the family, him left at home wondering where she's disappeared to for the weekend, him with the bills, loans, and debts to pay off. She also hacked his facebook and accused him of the things SHE was actually doing.

He also still loves her but cannot be with her. He's just had enough.

My parents divorced when I was really young and I think even to this day there is a bit of love for each other (although they express it through anger).

I think what Scorpiopics said is great...however...only if you want her back. It's clear, it's expressive, and it shows a want to get past everything and be a good family together.

If you can't handle being back with her though...I would suggest you find other ways to release your anger, hurt, and that feeling of wanting revenge (which I think can sometimes be a mixture of anger and hurt mixed with love). After all, she is the mother of your son and anything you do to her has a direct impact on him.

The reason she ran away from you was to see if you'd chase after her
so that she could then know she was worth something to you.

BUT ... it is not practical nor legal to do that in today's society.
Unfortunately, her primal instincts do not allow her to reason this.

I suggest just telling her this:

"I wish that I could not go to jail for chasing after you when you
leave and run around with other guys. I wish I could just break down
your door and take you so that you'd know I want to be with you
but it is not fair to you to harass you that way IF that is not
what you wanted me to do, deep down, if you really wanted me out of your life.
I don't want our son to see his father treating his mother badly
and harassing her - I don't want him to learn that type of behavior
nor to have a father who is in and out of jail for stalking her.

What we teach him will affect his relationships for life.

In a perfect world, I would come home to both of you and you'd
both be glad to see me. But you know it is hard for both of us
to express those notions when we are not sure if the other feels
the same, since we are both very AFRAID of not being wanted by
the other - and though I want to, it is damned hard to put my arms
around you when you don't seem to want my arms around you.

I wish we were together, both for me AND for our son. But I don't
know if YOU want to be with me or not. What I know for sure is
that our son is worth trying to deal with our issues.
Again, I am AFRAID to come and talk to you because I fear that I
would not be welcomed and that you would get the law involved
and REGARDLESS of how you feel about me, that is bad for our son
to see that kind of problem.

But I sure wish we could get this sorted out.

Would you be up for some counseling with me?
It would be great if we could figure out a way to live with
each other without hurting each other, but that is secondary
to us finding A FAIR WAY to provide a good life for our son
in which HE won't be hurt or sad or think that we "hate"
each other. I want him to know that he was created out of love
and was a "surprise" - not an "accident".

I hope that if this sounds reasonable, you will trust in this direction
that I will lead you in.
=========================
Give her 7 days to respond.


do you really beleive this to be the reason,i mean we went through this the first time,and i didnt chase,and know after i forgave her for all the guys etc etc,she d

id the exact same thing,didnt cheat i dont think,but when i didnt make enough money she was gone,the way you wrote that was beautiful,but i just dont think i could ever go back,and in all honesty i dont think she wants me back,it seems so vindictive and manipulative,i wanted revenge more in the sense of look at what you lost or another womans trash could be another womans treasure in that sense,guess i wont get it unless she masks her feelings real well

Wow.. Someone should drop her down and hard. So she would learn to respect other people. Would be easier for you if you don't need to see her ever. But you have a child.. You still love her? Why? Is she so lovable? If not then I suggest you to move on. Take care of your child and try to find someone who respects you

your right,i wish someone one would drop her hard,but unfortunately i have seen her dodge karma so many times dont think it will happen,like she is invincible or something🙂just wish i wasnt a little jealous because in all honesty she never really treated me well,maybe i will get it right,i know being a scorpio once i snap out of it i will be done,guess it hurts she moved on like a month later,like 8 yrs on/off didnt mean anything,guess i cant change that

Posted by brandon24

your right,i wish someone one would drop her hard,but unfortunately i have seen her dodge karma so many times dont think it will happen,like she is invincible or something🙂just wish i wasnt a little jealous because in all honesty she never really treated me well,maybe i will get it right,i know being a scorpio once i snap out of it i will be done,guess it hurts she moved on like a month later,like 8 yrs on/off didnt mean anything,guess i cant change that

If she never treated you well, I guess there's your answer. She never cared for you like you cared for her. She took you for granted. I'm sure there is a woman out there who is looking for a caring man like you, someone who would also make you feel loved 🙂

two scorpios together can be lethal.

if you let her down even ONCE....that is when she started drifting.

in a scorp/scorp relationship, one person has to sacrifice control. if she let her guard down to you even once, thinking that you could handle it...and you flaked, then THAT is when the spiral downward started.

i'm telling you this because i was in an 8 year marriage with one (I am also a scorp) and this is precisely what happened.

i gave 150% and sat back at one point of the relationship and watched to see if the same could be returned to me, and it wasn't. THAT is when all went south. I slowly but surely started untangling myself from him and in my mind, it was over.

you are looking into a mirror and so is she. which means, right now, this is completely out of control until one of you compose yourself and gains control back.

i mean really,i forgive her for everything,which took everything i had,loved unconditionally,never judged,and because i make any mistake or flaked its over,i dont know maybe a scorpio girl aint for me unfortunately,thank you so much for your advice

methinks, she felt he was trying to control her and she just wasn't having it.

just saying...

methinks, she felt he was trying to control her and she just wasn't having it.

just saying..

i mean i dont understand,i was exact the exact opposite,if any thing i was to passive and set no boundaries,just held it in,jus saying, it was kinda the other way around

I am trying to figure out what Brandon is jealous about? I am a little confused.

i guess im jealous for several dumb reasons,i feel jealous she found somebody in a month after i gave her on/off 8 years,while i sit here miserable and it dont phase her,jealous of the fact she is the only person i know who can avoid karma,and im real upset she already brings my son around all these men,thats why im jealous,i know very stupid,but i am being sincerely truthful,thanks for responding

Posted by brandon24
methinks, she felt he was trying to control her and she just wasn't having it.

just saying..

i mean i dont understand,i was exact the exact opposite,if any thing i was to passive and set no boundaries,just held it in,jus saying, it was kinda the other way around

Brandon, you sound almost too good to be true...I wonder if she just represents a challenge to you -- not much more. I mean, what kind of feelings do you have for her? Is it about you proving something to/for yourself or for others to see? Your ex sounds like a spoiled brat little kid. She's the unappreciative, rebellious teenager, and you are the doting, concerned parent crying out "Oh, what, o what, am I going to do with this poor child?!"

Brandon, move on. No, really, PLEASE move on. Unless you get off making yourself out to be a "savior" of some sort to the ungrateful less-fortunate, you should be seeking a grown-ass woman who will match your committment and offer you her shoulder to lean on when you need it. But then, who knows if she is who you want...

Brandon, you sound almost too good to be true...I wonder if she just represents a challenge to you -- not much more. I mean, what kind of feelings do you have for her? Is it about you proving something to/for yourself or for others to see? Your ex sounds like a spoiled brat little kid. She's the unappreciative, rebellious teenager, and you are the doting, concerned parent crying out "Oh, what, o what, am I going to do with this poor child?!"

Brandon, move on. No, really, PLEASE move on. Unless you get off making yourself out to be a "savior" of some sort to the ungrateful less-fortunate, you should be seeking a grown-ass woman who will match your committment and offer you her shoulder to lean on when you need it. But then, who knows if she is who you want...



your right,just didnt think it would be so hard,im not a savior,sometimes insecure,guess i just like the family 2 parent household thing,it was when my son was most happy😢

Posted by ImpressMe
I understand people need help but damn, you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Not that his chick is a hoe, but you get what I mean, hopefully.

ROFLMFAO!

something is missing here.

i don't buy it.

sorry.


i mean i am sorry you feel that way,and i thank you for responding,but there is not no secret here,if i cheated or comitted any type of neglect to her emotional being i wouldnt be on this board because i would know the answer,and swallow it no matter how hard,it basically ending with her running to her moms to live saying i did not make enough money to support the household,if that is the case than so be it,she was with a guy approxamitely about 2 weeks,im smart enough to know this was obvisouly planned in her subconscience mind way before the actual break,i mean maybe i just didnt make enough money for the life style she wanted,if thats the case it is what it is,i dont feel sorry for myself,honestly i am just a man thats hurting,and this is the second time i have been through this with her,i respect and honor your opnion,but i hope you beleive me when i sincerely tell you this is the truth