Scorpio friend and new man

Been humming and hahhing between posting on the leo or scorpio board.. finally gave in to you guys cause you just got so much going on here 🙂

So I have a friend, he is a scorpy. We just gel like no other and are so open and honest with each other, I love him and will until the end.. nothing will change that and he is thourhgly ensconced in the my heart. he loves me too and of that I have no doubt, he is simply, with no flowery added extras, my best friend, my instant turn to and the one i can depend on, the one I can talk to about anything, I am his too. Above all he has been there for me through a whole lot of shite over the last 3 years with his wisdom, legal know how (of which he hasn't got a clue but so cute in his very own scorpy, sure i know everything, way) and darkness and paranoia 😉

I invited him tonight to meet my new man soon. He has dissented, saying he isn't ready and can't see me with someone, which has upset me greatly. We had a long talk and he has said he needs to process and work on the thoughts of me being with a man, basically that he needs to be prepared to meet him so that he doesn't end up rolling around in the garden punching the face of him, I wasn't aware that this would be so hard for him (i did think it would be difficult) but I really need for them to get along, meet and be happy with each other... i've told him that he should just let me know when he is ready to meet him and I would'nt push it either way. And I won't, i'll respect him and his wishes... but this leads me to the point of this thread, is this just normal scorpy possessiveness, controlling personality or is there something deeper going on. Unfortunately i'm thinking something deeper, he stared at me for the longest time tonight, and let me tell you I'm used to the scorpy stare ( just usually we are staring each other down in confrontation 😉). I'm not going to lose him, he really is my best friend, but I'm not going to lose my new man either, he's my love and the first man I have really told the scorpy I'm interested in. How do i bring scorpy around, or even, can I? Fuck!

Posted by ellessque
hmmmmm. that's a tough one.

we are horribly possessive 😢

*you* can't do anything. he will either come around....or not.

worse case scenario, he starts drifting away. you should prepare for worse case scenario and if it doesn't happen, you'll be pleased as pie.

it's like my ex cap. he claims he'll never be in a relationship with me or anyone else but in all reality, he will eventually move on. when that happens, i'll probably exit stage left and leave the friendship in a place that i can remember fondly. Like you, i don't want to "be" with him but the scorp in me doesn't want to share or "compete" with anyone else either.

good luck. this is a really difficult situation.

oh fuck elle, I really don't want him to drift away (but he has started to), he is so important to me and I've told him this and asked him not too, he's asked for time, he's said he will do his best. fuck fuck fuck, never had a friend like him and I "know" i won't again - it really is a true leo/scorpio bond that I am so convinced is perfect (except in a romantic realtionship 😉) , i'm so selfish about it but i really don't want to lose him - it's making me so sad.

No, there really isn't a mean bone in your bodies, anyone who truly knows a scorp knows this, vengeful blah blah bhah, yeah, doesn't come from a place of meaness though (much darker than that!), just too much emotion, you fecking scorpies 😉.. this has totally torn me now, my loyalties are with them both and I'm looking for a solution, quick - right now! I know I need to exercise patience, is that a Leo trait!! But I love them both and just want to see them get togther and approve, god I'm being so selfish about it all but he totally threw me tonight - hah who said they ever knew a scorpy!

Posted by ellessque
PLUS...we think your partner should be your "best friend" and we only believe in one best friend at a time.

so, if you are truly happy and we can "see" that and know it's not a bunch of bullshit, the most logical thing to do is to step back.

understand it's out of respect.

actually this makes a whole lot of sense, and makes me feel much better about it, thanks elle x

Celric...did you used to date the scorp? Or has it always been platonic?

No BGP, he and his wife are my friends - best of.

Something seems fishy about a married man acting sour over a woman he's not romantically attached to hmmm.

It's not a big deal really, it's not time and plus this should come naturally and it seems forced by you, your man may not be ready to take it there either, he could be open to it but I'm sure he could do without the pressure of meeting friends, I think you're jumping the gun and creating unnecessary drama for yourself. Relax and enjoy your man, allow your friend space to move through his own feelings and then when it happens, it'll happen, everyone will meet one another.

Posted by tiki33
Something seems fishy about a married man acting sour over a woman he's not romantically attached to hmmm.

It's not a big deal really, it's not time and plus this should come naturally and it seems forced by you, your man may not be ready to take it there either, he could be open to it but I'm sure he could do without the pressure of meeting friends, I think you're jumping the gun and creating unnecessary drama for yourself. Relax and enjoy your man, allow your friend space to move through his own feelings and then when it happens, it'll happen, everyone will meet one another.

Your right Tiki, I am pushing it and it should really just happen naturally. The new man is keen to meet them as they are such a huge part of my life so their names come up all of the time and my friend (scorpys wife) has asked when she is going to get to meet him, also my new man has already met our other friends as he asked to. The scorpy isn't really sour, he is very possessive and protective and he and his wife hav been there over the last few years through all the downs of my marriage break up and other relationships i've had and through lots of stuff that's gone on with my son - its a bit difficult to explain our relationship and what it means to all of us. Now they have some events coming up which I will obviously be at and this was what instigated the "meeting him" conversation. I've told him to let me know whenever he is ready for introductions - scorpy is very very into doing things in the right way and he wouldn't like to just bump into him, which in itself is difficult as we live next door to each other 🙂

Anyway, i'll keep enjoying my new man as you say.

hmmmm....i have to agree with tiki. what on earth is the deal? at first i thought it was obvious he had an agenda and then you mentioned his wife and so now i don't know again. all i do know is that i would not be happy for my husband to have that kind of friendship with a woman cos there's clearly more going on beneath the surface from his part.

i don't think you'll be able to keep your scorpy friendship. the dynamic has already changed and quite honestly, i would be pissed off if my 'best friend' wasn't happy i'd met a new man and was anxious to meet him too.

he sounds well jel....just sayin'

oh well....it sounds like you are properly involved with this couple and it's a nice relationship you have with them. i think cos of the events coming up, you kinda want to clear the air on this beforehand. tbh, the scorp needs a slap. i guess it's the change he's finding scarey. i absolutely HATE change and resist it at all costs which is a terribly negative trait. he's been demoted on the friendship ladder in his eyes.....no longer the only male confidante and all that. awwwww....you know, what i would do would be to get him a little gift or make a little gesture that tells him how important he is to you and take it round there as an icebreaker to clear the air on your new man.

don't tiptoe around it. scorps need a sledgehammer style approach when they're sulking about something. nothing beats the fear of change better than the fear of NOT changing and having THOSE consequences to face instead 🙂

i am finding myself agreeing with everyone today and so on that basis, i should decline from giving any opinion at all. i appear to be in full-on libra mode, lol.

lol Roxi 😛

I thought if the scorp was your ex, that'd explain his jealously. very interesting dynamic here. Does his wife know if his feelings about not meeting your bf?

If so, what's her opinion on it?

elle: i also use that excuse for dramatic outbursts 😄

Thanks scorps for all your insights. We've had more "talks" and he's admitted to a few worries, for me. This is the first man I've offered the suggestion to my friends meeting so he's said he realises it must be serious and he wants me to go slow, but knows i'm not a slow goer (venus in leo, how are ya) and i've been lectured accordingly 🙂. He's also admitted that the thoughts of "change" is there too. And his final concern is my ex-husband, who is his friend also but not as close, whom he wants to make sure he knows of my new man before he meets him - he is so scorpy in this way, everything has to be done right - etiquette is big with him in all things, is that a scorpy trait.

Let-it-be - it is difficult to have a friend of the opposite sex isn't it, when you talk about them you get "knowing" glances and smirks. Good to see someone understands!

hahaha!! etiquette? yeah, i'm usually aware of it as i'm breaking it, lol. i think the men are definitely more concerned with what their friends think of them. the scorp i dated for a nano-second was preoccupied with 'doing the right thing'. lol...i kinda only do the wrong thing...it was doomed from the start.