Scorpio winning Pisces back?

I was in a very serious relationship with my Pisces male for almost 2 years. We were engaged and we had always believed that we would be together forever. He recently broke things off with me about a month ago. I can't blame him for what he did, I know I deserved it, but I could never see how I was towards him until this happened. I know I made a lot of big mistakes with him, and I'm just so stubborn that I can never admit when I'm wrong... but I did.. I cried.. and begged, and bought him gifts and wrote him love letters of apology, but nothing worked. I know I pushd him too far, but I want him back. I realize now that I don't have him, how much I really do love him and want to be with him, and I think this experience has just made me appreciate him for who he is even more. He told me that I need to grow up a bit and that I need to be independent again, I agree with him. I am getting counseling for my temper, and I'm even going back to church. But he won't talk to me, he told me that he never wants to talk to me or see me again, and that there was no way we could be friends again because he doesn't stay in conact with his ex's. But I'm the longest relationship he's ever had, even longer then his ex wife. I know that he is seeing someone else, and has been since the day we broke up, but I don't know if it's serious or not. I still stay in touch with his family because I was always close with them. They say that everytime they try to talk to him about it he just changes the subject or even leaves. He actually called me today, I was shocked... he told me that he had a terrible dream that my dad was going to die... that he was going to get really sick.. and he saw me at the funeral crying my eyes out.. he said he woke up crying from it. It really shoked me and I started to cry.. so we just started talking, and it was just like old times... we were laughing and everything.. but I ruined it when I started to tell him how sorry I was for everything, he didn't want to hear it, he said that he's still in another relationship but our paths might cross again in the future. He told me to call him and let him know how things turned out. What can I do to get him back? Is there any hope at all for me? I don't want to give up on him because I love him so much, and I would do anything to get him back. I need input from Pisces, I know how stubborn you can be, but I really am changing... I just love him soo much.. I want him back.

I am confused, and he confuses me, he ignores me for a month straight, and then calls to tell me my dad's going to die... and calls me honey and then corrects himself.. and talks to me like we were together again.. and when I try to bring up that I'm sorry.. he just shuts down.. he did say that he does want to talk to me... but not about us or the past.. I guess he just wants to talk abotu the bills. And yes, when he said that our paths might cross again in the future.. I took it as well if it doesn't work out with this other girl.. then he can always just get me back with the snap of his fingers.. and he's right.. even if he shot me in the head.. if he told me he wanted to be with him again... I would. I am completely consumed by my emotions right now, I have never felt like this in my life... how can someone who makes you so happy make you feel just as miserable... I jsut wish there was somethign I could do to show him how sorry I am for everything and how I am changing for the better... and your right.. church calms me down for a bit.. and counseling is distracting... but no matter what I do... I just can't get him out of my head or my heart...

It's called obsession ..

"if it doesn't work out with this other girl.. then he can always just get me back with the snap of his fingers.. and he's right.. even if he shot me in the head.. if he told me he wanted to be with him again"

You need to clear your head, girl .. take a break, go on holiday. Call up old girlfriends and go to the beach for the weekend .. do something because you're letting this consume you.

Find something to do .. something that will allow you to think without him clouding your thoughts.

I know exactly what my faults were/are and I know exactly what happened to make me react the way I did, and it's so hard for me to admit that I messed up, and he knows that I never admit that I'm wrong... but I did. I don't think its obsession... he's the first person to make me soooo happy... and he's also the first person to make me feel so miserable at the same time... and if I had just one more day... I would tell him everything I had to say... I miss him... and it hurts.. more then anything I've ever been through before.. and I know that it will get better with time.. I just don't want to accept the fact that he's gone... my heart doesn't want to believe what my head is saying...

See, here's the problem .. he was attracted to the woman you were BEFORE you became caged up in your apartment and started telling him you were leaving and breaking things. That is who he liked .. that person.

Then, once cabin-fever set in and you became a maniac .. he dipped-out .. you have to find that person again, that woman he loved, if you want him back.

One more day to tell him how you feel isn't going to make a difference .. when you had him on the phone, you cried your heart out to him and be backed away, he didn't want to hear it. Having another day to pour your heart out again is only going to push him away further.

You were a different person before the apartment episode, when you left abandoned .. you have to find that person again.

I don't think I would be throwing gasoline on the fire tank.. if he ever did take me back.. things would be the way they were before we started arguing.. and I wouldn't let stupid little things get to me the way they did before.. I would spend every day showing him how much he means to me and try to make him happy again.. I know that I can.. all I need is the oppurtunity to do so..

Parent/child love isn't the same kind of commitment.


From his perspective you changed .. when left feeling abandoned in the apartment you became hostile towards him and he saw this as though you changed your feelings towards him .. so you have to find yourself again and be that woman, be the strong and vibrant woman he fell in love with .. if you are "begging" him to take you back, then he is seeing the same weak woman you changed into.

You have to be strong .. you can't just tell him you are .. you have to be it.

"if he ever did take me back"

You're missing the point .. you are saying that if he would take you back, you would prove to him what you would do to change ..

You're still focusing on changing FOR him .. this is about you. If you've become a different person that has led you to this place in your life .. then you have to make adjustments for yourself .. not HIM.

If you didn't make yourself better, for yourself, you would end up in this same place with the next relationship.

"love is love.. no category.. "

No, it's not .. love for ice-cream, a puppy, your spouse, your child .. is all different.

We're trying to help you .. we all have different communication style s.

Scorpio7,

In the title of your post you say, "winning Pisces back"

When we are in a relationship with another person, it is not about "winning" or "losing" them. Love is free, it comes and goes when it needs to and we need to learn to allow it to flow for this to is, Love.

You say you love him. If you do, honour his request - let him go. Trying to win someone back is not love this is an act of fear.

Discomfort is always caused from resisting what is. Let it go, be free of your pain and be with you.

If you truly do desire to move on you may want to privately thank him for the time you have had together, the wonderful experiences that you shared and with your love, send him your best wishes for a wonderful life, whatever that is to be.

hugs*

Tanya, I know .. but, the loyalty one shows their child during moments like this because they love them, isn't the same as a partnership.

For example, if my son cheated on his wife .. I'd be pissed, but, I wouldn't disown him .. if a husband/wife did that, loyalty just got thrown out the window. It isn't the same love.

And to have this kind of unconditional love for a partner will land you in the position this lady is in right now .. she will do anything .. anything .. no matter how desperate. Blind love for a partner, without consequences of actions is illogical and the only thing that will come from it is what we see right here.

privately - meaning in a letter to him that you do not send or in your own thoughts.

"You say you love him. If you do, honour his request - let him go. Trying to win someone back is not love this is an act of fear."


Amen, FB

You mean the guy to whom you told his woman that you slept with him?

I know you're probably frustrated as hell because you want to hear words that tell you what you can do to win him back .. and you aren't hearing those words.

It's because there aren't any .. the only thing you can do is let him go. Some day he may venture back, he may not .. the question is: What about you?

You can't just put your life on hold and await his decisions .. you have to live.

You are right, if this is what he wants I should respect his wishes... and if he is truly happy with this new girl then I want him to be happy with her forever. I truly want him to be happy period... even if it's not with me, he's a great person in every apsect, and I will always love him, but everyone here is right... he has moved on... and as hard as it is... I know that he has too... I just keep holding onto false hope that me might come back... but I know deep down inside that he won't... and I just don't want to accept that... because I just love him so much, but this is what he wants... he doesn't want me anymore... and if we are meant to be together... the maybe our paths will cross again in the future like he said... I just need to move on with my life now... as hard as it is... I just have to do it.. and be strong about it. You are all so helpful and kind... and I love the honesty, I don't get offended by it, I know its the truth and you are all only trying to help... and I really appreciate it. If there is anything I can help any of you with, just feel free to ask...

"because my friend told me i've done it to hurt her in the first place.. so i agreed.. and then he's telling me as if i'm the only one that hurt her.. telling me that, i've done enough"


And I agree 100% .. I told you that several months ago, and I told you this would come back and bite your ass .. so it has. Your intentions were to hurt her, and that's all. It's irrelevant whether he hurt her or not .. you are accountable for yourself, and yourself only .. what another does or did, doesn't relieve you of any wrong-doing. The reason WHY you hurt your best friend is because you wanted her suffer because you were suffering .. parasite, to use Blingy's word.

He's not jealous of you, though, I'm not surprised that you would think that, for it continues for you to relieve yourself of any further guilt in the matter. He's worried that you're going to fuck with his/her feelings again.

Karma has a way of doing that.

"and I just don't want to accept that... because I just love him so much,"

In saying, "I just don't want to accept that" you are coming from a place of control, coming from control is also coming from a place of fear.

Maybe your lesson from this experience is in learning that we cannot "control" another person and also learning acceptance for what is.

You are going to be just fine....be grateful for this man coming into your life - he has been a great teacher for you...do you see? Growth is happening for you, keep strong, keep smiling and see what happens 😉

Umm... well since I am in Pahrump Nevada with my parents right now, there's a ton of massage parlors out here... that will do a whole lot more then just massage you... but that's only if you're in pahrump. I am from Las Vegas, and there are a ton in Vegas too... hope that helped a bit.

"I always felt karma was a foreboding way of saying 'up yours.'"

lol, bitch, innit?

Oh Pahrump is a real place... haven't you ever heard of the Bunny Ranch in Nevada? Pahrump = Slutsville USA. Legalized prostitution out here, and that's pretty much all there is... oh and a few casinos and a walmart... I am moving back to vegas as soon as I get my license back.

Yeah, not a very good question to ask me and expect a supportive answer .. anybody who purposely fucks over thier best friend, just to hurt her .. isn't likely to get a sweet response from me.

When Blingy comes on .. he'll support this in you, such as before. You can look to him for making you feel better.

Is it true there are no clocks there?

lol

Of course there are clocks there. Las Vegas is a great place to visit if you don't live there, but if you do live there and you're under 21, you really don't get why people love it so much. I mean it's way better then Pahrump anyday... but if you're not into gambling or strip clubs it gets old fast.

Yes, I am a scorpio, and most people would say I am a true scorpio... but I don't believe I'm war with the world at all... it actually takes a lot to make me mad, but when I do get mad... I blow up... I know not good. But I don't get mad when people are honest, even if it's not what I want to hear, I'm generally a very passive person who tries to steer away from arguing, but when something means a lot to me, that's usually when I will get up in arms over it and lose it... but I pretty much like everyone I come into contact with unless they give me a reason not to. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt so to speak...

Tanya .. your best route at this point is to be true and stop playing.

You can be friends with his friends, you can be friends with anybody you like .. however, a person has to also take into consideration .. consideration.

If you KNOW that by being friends with his mates, is causing him and your ex-bestfriend grief .. then be an adult, the better person and walk away .. go find someone else to be-friend. If you KNOWINGLY are being friends with these people, KNOWING it is causing pain to another .. then you're still fucking with their heads.

We have choices in our life .. we can continue to do whatever the hell we want because we are free, or, we can do something to stop the pain of another .. the pain in which you had a direct hand in causing in the first place.

To you, you're just bitching, saying it isn't fair to YOU .. haven't you focused on YOU enough? What about her and him?

Leave them alone .. let them be .. from my perspective, YOU are the one being unfair because you KNOW in your heart that by being in a friendship with these people, you are purposely continueing to hurt these two people .. and you only care about yourself and what's fair to you.

You're just a child .. so I don't expect you to understand, for if you did .. you wouldn't have fucked-over your best girlfriend by taking your best-fucking-friends man and then using that encounter against her to suffer because she was giving him more attention than you.

Karma's a bitch .. deal with having nobody being loyal to you, for you made it yourself.

"Tell me, I was losing out on her when I knew that she was going to choose him. Did I not tell her the truth?"

You don't get it, Tanya .. and there's no way to make you get it, if you choose not to. You focused on telling the truth and find justification in that.

What you're not getting is the reason WHY you told her .. not, whether it was a falsehood, or truth .. the reason why you told her is for your own selfish reasons.

"I was losing out on her when I knew that she was going to choose him."

The intentions weren't to be pure, to be honest, to be giving, to be loving of your friend, to protect her, to help her in any way .. you did it out of jealousy, because you were losing attention from her because she was loving on her man .. so, what did you do in your selfishness?

You took her man, and then told her, so she would pay for neglecting you.


This is my last post to you, Tanya .. living up to my Piscean nature, I will do to you what I do to all people who are losers and trash ..

* swims away