Strange Situation

Alright, what I'm about to talk about could easily turn into a twelve-thousand word story, but I will make it as short as humanly possible.

I work at one of the stores in a shopping center. There is another little shop right next to mine. I have made friends with the owner of that shop who is pretty close in age to me (6 years older). When our businesses are really slow, he'll stop over at my work and talk, and vice versa (but because I'm really shy, I usually don't approach him, it's usually him who comes over to talk to me). Anyway, the owner recently hired this guy who is four years younger than me (he's 18) and I've sort of made friends with him too, but there's some things about him that slightly bother me and I'm not sure whether I'm being too sensitive or what but...well first of all, he's a Scorpio, and so am I, so I actually think we understand each other pretty well, but he's also at that age where he feels the need to sexually objectify every single girl he comes in contact with. That includes me, that includes my coworkers. The thing is, I know that young guys are like that, and to a certain extent I can accept it and even pretend to ignore it, but when it's direct comments about "jugs" and "ass" and all kinds of things like that and he's saying it about me, or about some other girl who just walked by, it really bugs me. I usually just give him a dirty look and then he laughs...it's like he's testing me or something. He's also decided to invite me to come over to his apartment every time he sees me. I've rejected the offer politely like four times in a row now...the fact is, he is a physically attractive guy and he is pretty funny, we have similarities in our personalities, he plays guitar and sings and everything, and he seems to be pretty smart, but he is also young, and often acts it, and what if something happened and then we have to see each other at work every day and it's all weird? He flirts with almost every girl he talks to, and really, really flirts, I mean I really can see that he knows what he's doing. I sometimes try to avoid him because he's kind of more physical than I want an acquaintance/friend to be (especially while I'm working)...like he tries to play with my hair and the other day he was trying to take my hand or something strange, I'm not sure, I briefly let him but then acted really busy with my work stuff that I was doing. I don't know, I'm just over hearing about "did you see that girl, she had the most enormous jugs, it was awesome" (like I care? And could you please not objectify my entire species in this manner?) And the other day when I again said no thank you to his "you should come over tonight" thing, he goes, "I'm too young, right?" and I felt bad so I said, "no, it's not that, it's just that I've worked all day and I just want to go home now, that's all". But what it really is, is that I'm not sure I trust him, like I'm pretty sure that he would try stuff if I did come over "just to hang out". He also has a really weird roomate who I've seen staring at me while they're talking outside my work with this incredibly creepy treetrunking *stare*. Something is just weirding me out. I don't want to be mean to the guy, but I don't know...and then today, he actually kind of scared me because he was having some sort of drama with some guy over money or something, and he comes sailing into the shop talking about kicking the guy's ass, he was all hyped up about it. I don't know, it's not that I'm scared of him, but I honestly don't feel real comfortable when I'm the only one working and he's in the shop with me. I'm not quite sure what to do...I don't know if I'm being too cautious or what, or if he's out of line. What do you think? Oh, and to complicate things even more, I found out that he hardcore grilled one of my coworkers trying to find out if I liked his manager. What's that all about? I'm thinking..."why would he care and why is he discussing who I li

Hi Phoenix! Soundz pretty weird like the mind-playing sort of scorps who feel they have nothing to lose so they play with life and death and other people's emotions like they don't mean anything. Aside from the fact that he's a scorp, a fact that could be very highly irrelevant to the way he is behaving, he sounds like a pure jerk, through and through...! I mean, what is all this 'macho' stuff about jugs and stuff?! Erck.

So, i think he is highly out of control on some level, and that is exacerated by the fact that he asks his boss if you like him (did i get that right?). I mean, really, that is none of his business. He has a real 'boundary' problem and things like that equate to 'no respect' if you ask me. And i would be really careful about the friend because for all you know, they could have a deal going where one of them asks a girl back to the unit and the rest is history... This guy is a real space invader and the only way to deal with them is to ignore them as much as possible. Just act indifferently but i am telling you that if he steps out of line you may need to put him back in his place, and in a not very nice way. He is totally overstepping the line with you and needs to be reminded of where his place is, and it is not talking to you while you are trying to work. And another thing, people like that are usually 'loose canons' and don't usually last in jobs that long, so hopefully he will be out of your hair before long. Just be careful of him as he sounds like trouble. He may very well not be a tough as he makes out, infact, most people that brag about certain things (eg. sexual exploits) are really harmless but his friend sounds creepy and he may have other troublesome people in his life, referring to the guy who's 'ass he wanted to kick'. He sounds like too much trouble to me and too much hard work. If worse comes to worse, put him back in his place without insulting him, so he doesn't think it's a sick little game in which he gets to bite back. Just watch out for him, ie, don't walk to the carpark on your own if it's dark.

Oh yeah, ps. my brother is 18 and there is no way he would speak about a woman like that to another woman. He might do it with his mates but he has enough respect for women not to do it to their faces.

Good luck with it and watch your back. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but you never know what these types and their friends are like.

"Are capable of", i mean.

Hi Phoenix,

No matter what...trust YOUR instincts, always!!!! Sometimes we may not know the reason why but...something is amiss and deep within you know so. See how powerful you are? You could try to disect this whole situation and never really know what it is...trust yourself on this one, you know more than you think you do.

Ask him how big his wanger is. then tell him to prove it after that he will leave you alone exspecialy if he whips it out and you laugh at him make the comment that realy distroys the mith.. Tell him men with little willys always talk about sex, For the most part its the ones who are not getting any who talk about it the most.

phoenix,
i agree with both JT's and parallax's suggestions. all depends on how you want to handle it, but this guys a dog on the hunt, and you are prey, nothing more. he has no depth at all. does he ever hold a conversation about anything else besides sexual topics? you must have some kind of attraction to him, or you wouldn't even be considering it. i know it's hard to run from a situation like this when your body is pulling you into it. think of it as poison, and don't touch it. i can relate to the work situation. i don't know if you read any of my dilema with the guy i worked with. luckily, the have laid him off and he's gone. but it really was the worst year of my life having to deal with a relationship gone wrong and having it in my face every day at work. living hell. be smart, don't start.

oh, by the way, my guy was also a scorpio, and when they're on the hunt (nothing personal) and you're the prey, you're doomed, if you can't stop them in their tracks. this guys just a lower evolved scorpio. you sound like you're on a much higher plane.

Hi Phoenix!
I would personally avoid that guy at all costs! You had mentioned that the owner of the shop would talk with you. Do you like him better? Me personally, I would choose to talk with him instead maybe this other guy would get the hint that you don't care for him. That of couse is a maybe.
Good Luck!
Vulcan

Libragirl, Freebird, James Tate, Parallax, Pato and Vulcan - thank you for all of your opinions. It is nice sometimes when you're upset or confused about something to be able to come here and be comforted by people like you.

Libragirl, we think very much alike. I tend to be pretty suspicious and wary with guys because, you know, it's really true that *some* of them, you just get a weird feeling about...like if they had the opportunity and you were clueless enough or in a vulnerable position to them, they would take advantage of the situation. And the feeling intensifies when they hang out with the types of people who seem like they would *definitely* do something like that. I totally agree about the "boundary" issue, that is exactly what it feels like. He's literally in my face all the time (lately I haven't worked when he has though, so it's been good for a couple days). I'm always literally *backing away* from him, and he just keeps coming. I think he thinks it's a chase thing, when really it's an "I'm uncomfortable with how close you are to me" thing. As far as walking to the carpark (I love that you say "carpark", it makes so much more sense than "parking lot" plus it's more fun to say...lol!) - I do have to do that every night when it's dark, but usually I have another female coworker with me about half the way to my car (sometimes not that far though, depending on where she's parked)...I tend to park really far out because I don't want to drive all around trying to find an ideal spot before work so I just take the first space I see and it's always pretty far out (maybe I should stop that). I always try to visually survey the entire parking lot before I walk to my car though. Often there are a few weirdos here and there, sitting on the back of their cars, kinda smoking and just being weird, so when I see those types I walk really fast with my keys in my hand ready to poke someone's eye out should the need arise (lol). I have made friends with many of the security guards though, and just the other day one made it clear to me that he is available to escort me out if I ever need him to. I thought "perfect timing for you to bring that up". (Weird, huh? Psychic moment maybe, on his part?) So I'm going to program security's phone number on my cell-phone, just to be on the safe side. Yep for all my complaining about obnoxious cell phone people, I do have one, mainly just for emergencies.

Parallax, it's weird that you said the following:
"Or you try this. When you see him coming, busy yourself with work; straightening, dusting, anything. Make sure to make little or no eye contact. Give him only one word answers ?Yeah?.uh huh, yeah?? While he is speaking, excuse yourself and move to a different area and begin doing something there." - weird because, I've done all of that, that's all I've been doing for the most part and even more so lately. But he freaking follows and does *not* seem to get any sort of hint. So, perhaps I will try your very first suggestion. It will be hard for me only because I have a hard time being that blunt with people, but it's definitely what I *want* to say. I'd also like to say, "you know, have you noticed that I'm trying to work here? Not play games and talk about sex?" (and no, Pato - very rarely is he *not* talking about sex. Occasionally he'll have like 30 seconds of being a somewhat "nice guy", talking about normal things that don't make me uncomfortable, but for the most part it's sex, and more sex.) I guess my first impression of him was, "okay, he's 18, he's a little immature, he's kind of a pig, but I can deal with him because I've dealt with a lot of guys like him before". The thing is though, he's pretty pushy, in the sense that he's not someone who's easy to ignore. He kind of storms in and takes over everything, talks over you, gets right up in your stuff, that kind of thing. He'll even talk over my manager! And he's also been a little too physi

you are welcome I think.

😛

Pheonix,
I do hope that you will be careful, not only with him but out in the parking lot. Kind of scary. I am worried about you. Watch yourself.
Vulcan

Hey Vulcan 🙂

I will definitely be extra careful, don't worry. I appreciate the worry though, it is sweet of ya. If I get the slightest feeling of ickiness, I will call one of my security guard friends and have them walk me to my car.