Very Long but confused Cancer woman desperately needs advice!!

I'm a Cancer woman and I dated a Scorpio man for a couple months. He had a huge crush on me for months (like Scorpio obsession crush). Because of certain circumstances, our first kiss was a disaster and we were both kind of turned off. we were still interested in each other but that excitement that we felt in the beginning died down a bit. The months following that, we went back to the "talking" phase. We didn't go out but we'd see each other every day at school. He wouldn't initiated hanging out because of the drive. His best friend constantly tried to make us work because according to him, Scorprio liked me a lot. But Scorpio's lack of effort increased my Cancer insecurities and we've been stuck in this dating limbo for months. Also, he hasn't dated or slept with anyone during these months. We haven't slept together.

He went to Europe for the summer but before he left, we had a very long phone conversation about us. He said that he hasn't been able to date a girl longer than 2 months for the past 5 years because of issues that he has. He also has a tendency to make a big deal about things a girl will do and says "well my gf wouldn't do that." For example, with me, he said he noticed I tend to be reserved in some groups and doesn't see his gf being like that. At the same time, he says that he would always think about how I'm the perfect girl and said that if he is going to date anyone, he is going to date me. He also said that when he comes back from his trip, if I'm still interested, we could give us another shot. He also said that he felt like if we didn't work out, I wouldn't be friends with him and that scared him because he doesn't want to lose me.

During his trip to Europe, he would call and FaceTime me once a week and would frequently text me saying he missed me. He came back 2 weeks before school started. I was hoping we would go out but not once did he initiate anything during those 2 weeks but called me a couple of times. He also bought me a gift from his travels.

School started a couple of days ago. I was visibly upset because seeing him reminded me about how hurt I was. I've been feeling like he strung me along all this time. When I brought up the fact that he didn't try to see me at all he said that he is going through a family situation (he told me the details and it's pretty bad) and that he realizes that constantly contacting me during summer was unfair and is sorry but feels like he isn't ready to date because he is in a really bad place right now. He said he would like to be good friends but I said I can't be friends right now.

I don't know what to do now. I still have feelings for him so being friends with him will be very hard but what if the family situation is the only reason he doesn't want to date and it gets resolved? A part of me hopes that if I'm friends with him then at some time we will date again.



I'm so confused and sad.. I really need advice.

I'm a cancer. The Scorpio I dated was similar to yours. He didn't initate things. He didn't make much effort. I honestly became bored with him. The last time we were together i gave him one last chance to say something that would make me stay with him and he didn't. So I ended it. Then he became super depressed for years over me! So I think your guy might really like you, especially since his best friend is trying to help. But he's just not good at showing it.

I've seen him around school. For the most part, I haven't said a word to him. We were in an elevator together and he asked me a question, I answered then asked him a question and he nodded. That's the only communication we've had for the past few days.

His friend kept insisting that we all sit together in a class. they ended up sitting next to me.

It's awkward and there's a bit of tension. I really miss him but i'm really hurt. We aren't talking now and I'm already thinking 'what if he likes me again, things get better and we date.' I don't see how i can be only friends with him and be able to get over him.

Posted by Deadpoop
He needs to work on himself before he can have anything with you. From what i've read he's internally conflicted. This has nothing to do with you. I would look elsewhere for now, and if you two are meant to meet down the road go for it. But for now everything seems like he's just thinking on whether to act or not. I mean if i bought a gift for a lady i deemed special in that way the first thing id do would be to set up a date and just catch up. He didnt even do anything like that no initiative. Look at his actions, the answers are there. Keep your options open.

^^^ this

Posted by Deadpoop
He needs to work on himself before he can have anything with you. From what i've read he's internally conflicted. This has nothing to do with you. I would look elsewhere for now, and if you two are meant to meet down the road go for it. But for now everything seems like he's just thinking on whether to act or not. I mean if i bought a gift for a lady i deemed special in that way the first thing id do would be to set up a date and just catch up. He didnt even do anything like that no initiative. Look at his actions, the answers are there. Keep your options open.

that makes sense. I'm not waiting around for him.. if other options show up, I'm open to that. I'm just frustrated because he's been hard to figure out.

He hasn't put any effort in for a long time so a part of me has felt like he strung me along. I don't know if he likes me but "isn't ready to date" because of the family situation or if that's just a good excuse and he actually just isn't interested in me anymore.

Thanks for the advice!

With Scorpio you have to wait patiently. Have time😉

Posted by Gemitati
With Scorpio you have to wait patiently. Have time😉

But we aren't even talking anymore! 😢 we just pass each other in the hallways. I think it's over with this Scorpio

Posted by leowww
You've waited all summer,

I think you waited long enough.

Have you tried reaching out to him?

All I'm reading is that he's not making enough efforts, what about you? Have you initiated conversation or are you simply waiting for him to do so?

If you have and still nothing :

In your shoes I'd let things be.

Good luck Op.

honestly, when it came to initiating conversation, he was the one to do it. for the past couple of months, i never texted or called first, mostly because i wasn't sure how he felt or what he wanted and also back when i was initiating I didn't see any change from his end so i stopped.

i don't think it really matters anymore though. his best friend told me that he liked another girl. I responded by saying he should ask her out but his friend say "i don't think he will."

I'm not sure why he told me this.. seems a bit odd and idk if it's true.