A different definition of Friends

Hello Everyone,
I'm new to this forum and yes, I am a Scorpio who has questions about a Taurus. Long story short... Met him right before Christmas 2013. He approached me and asked for my number, I gave it to him. He contacted me (via text) as promised later that night. I responded and we seemed to have a friendship developing. He works alot and I have NO complaints about that at all. I feel he has a drive like no other man I have ever known outside of my father. We discussed just being friends and I thought that we were going to take things slowly until in February he wanted to be intimate. I am very sensual as he and love spending times in his arms and just enjoying each other's company. I know how I am when it comes to relationships and I don't like wasting my time with superficial things or people. I asked him what had transpired since we discussed being just friends and taking things slow. It was decided we'd remain friends because he didn't have time to commit to a relationship because of his work. Fast forward to April, a few weeks before his birthday. I invited him over to celebrate his birthday because he would be away for his birthday. I then found out he had just got back from a vacation. I was a little taken back because he had shared that he was going on vacation for his birthday, but he didn't share about this trip. We were sitting talking and he attempted to be intimate. I then expressed that I wasn't the type to do FWB. We had another talk about taking things slow and that if I'm seeing someone, it's only that person because I don't like the events that can happen as a result of seeing more than one person and I love a DRAMA FREE life!!! He kept in contact but we didn't physically see each other as much. I decided not to contact him anymore because I didn't want to continue to gain more feelings for him. Fast forward to June... We hadn't seen each other in over a month and he was initiating all communication...almost like when we first started communicating.
We decided to spend some time together... which ended up with us being intimate. We were intimate a few days before Father's Day and I contacted him to wish him a Happy Father's Day and to let him know that I had a card for him whenever he had time to stop by and get it. He said thank you and that i didn't have to do that. I told him I know I didn't. 🙂 Well all communication ended and I began to feel a little disappointed, which now feels like disrespect and being used. I text him a

Your message got cut off. But most of your problems seem to revolve around sticking to what you decide. You didn't stick to your guns on the intimacy thing. You stopped him based on a principle, then you gave in later. Sticking to your own principles would've prevented you from feeling used. You also decided that you didn't want to develop stronger feelings for him, so based on that you stopped contacting him. Yet you responded to his initiating. If you don't want to develop feelings for someone, you will put an end to contact, whether or not that contact is initiated by you. Sticking to your guns on that in a real way, would've prevented you from developing further feelings.

Another point I'd make is that, since you probably gave in to the intimacy bc you were aroused/in the heat of the moment, and just basically wanted to, if anyone was used, you used him just as much as he used you.

Original Message continued.... Well all communication ended and I began to feel a little disappointed, which now feels like disrespect and being used. I text him a couple of times with no response and so I text him and told him that I was hurt and repeated to him what he first said to me when we first started communicating... he promised never to disrespect me nor bring me drama and if I ever contacted him and he didn't respond, it was because he was busy- but would repsond ASAP. I wished him well and that was it. He sent me a text the next day... What happened? How did I disrespect u? I have yet to respond. 😢
Is he REALLY that clueless?? I read where somesome said that Scorpios are REALLY serious about friendships. No I don't trust easily, but was willing to give it go with him. Didn't push, kept saying over and over let's take things slowly. We've both been married before and were cheated on by our spouses. We have a lot in common and seem to enjoy each other even though his lack of communication through words was a little difficult at times. Haven't met friends or family, even though he does talk about them. What am I not seeing or reading too much?? I was trying to take things as they came, being intimate wasn't in the plans, especially to not hear from him afterwards!! The only expectations I had was a text or call later just as normal... I got nothing! I don't treat my friends in that manner.

I must be that clueless because I don't see the issue either. Sounds like you were maybe hurt that he wasn't *initiating* contact after the last time of intimacy? Well, its a two way street. Your turn. When you stopped initiating contact because you didn't want to develop further feelings, and then he contacted you next, was he hurt? No, he just contacted you because he wanted to connect, and you got together again. This time you initiated, and he responded the next day. You're expecting him to read your mind, which is usually unreasonable. I think you're also expecting him to do all the initiating, which just isn't going to happen with a Taurus.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I must be that clueless because I don't see the issue either. Sounds like you were maybe hurt that he wasn't *initiating* contact after the last time of intimacy? Well, its a two way street. Your turn. When you stopped initiating contact because you didn't want to develop further feelings, and then he contacted you next, was he hurt? No, he just contacted you because he wanted to connect, and you got together again. This time you initiated, and he responded the next day. You're expecting him to read your mind, which is usually unreasonable. I think you're also expecting him to do all the initiating, which just isn't going to happen with a Taurus.

never ever

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I must be that clueless because I don't see the issue either. Sounds like you were maybe hurt that he wasn't *initiating* contact after the last time of intimacy? Well, its a two way street. Your turn. When you stopped initiating contact because you didn't want to develop further feelings, and then he contacted you next, was he hurt? No, he just contacted you because he wanted to connect, and you got together again. This time you initiated, and he responded the next day. You're expecting him to read your mind, which is usually unreasonable. I think you're also expecting him to do all the initiating, which just isn't going to happen with a Taurus.

lol... ok, yes I was hurt because there was no contact. We use to both just communicate and it didn't matter who initiated. But then it seemed as if I was doing all the initiation. I for one do not want to be in a friendship- platonic or otherwise in which I am the only one making the effort. Yes there should be a two way street.

Posted by tiziani
If you know that he's not clueless then don't play him at his own game. You can't control people with sex either.

One thing I don't like is playing games. And I would NEVER try to control someone with sex.

After seeing your responses I guess I need to really think about some things. I don't want to be indecisive and I really care for him and would like to continue to get to know him. You have given your opinion based on the part that I have disclosed and it's helped a lot. Thank you

I appreciate the thoughts and advice from men because sometimes I don't think it's all about the sign we are born under, but the differences between men and women and how we process and communicate. I can be wordy and he's less communicative.

Like I said, there's so much that I didn't share, but seeing your advice has helped bring things into focus.

@Infinite8- No spiraling out of control here. 🙂 Thanks for your comment.

Posted by LIG
You have given your opinion based on the part that I have disclosed and it's helped a lot. Thank you

Urgg! Than why bother? Seriously that is annoying. If your going to take the time to lay out your issues, in an effort to ask others to take the time, to review it and give you an honest assessment. Don't piecemeal it man.

Idk what you left out, but it sounds like your feelings are in a different place than his. And honestly I don't think its your feelings for him that are hurt, its your ego that is suffering. Its not his actions that bother you, but what his actions mean to you. Your brain is trying to assigning a motive to his actions to make sense of it all, that motive probably isn't very accurate.

Taurus can be pretty fucking dense when it comes to the matters of the heart. They only trust the truest of feelings that develop over long stretches of time. They can feel what your feeling, the moments of passion and desire, but after the moment has passed they ignore them. They enjoy and indulge in it while its in front of them, but they don't put much serious stock into them after that, because they feel there is little true value too it.

Now a lot of people can day dream, let these feelings fester until you start to believe something different. But see... the influence of the Taurus can gives the person the strength to shake off anything impractical.

And when I say they are pretty fucking dense, I mean that they expect everyone else to have the same understanding and feelings about these fleeting moments. And are pretty confused when you try to get them to comprehend anything different.

Posted by Astrobyn

Posted by LIG
You have given your opinion based on the part that I have disclosed and it's helped a lot. Thank you

Urgg! Than why bother? Seriously that is annoying. If your going to take the time to lay out your issues, in an effort to ask others to take the time, to review it and give you an honest assessment. Don't piecemeal it man.

Idk what you left out, but it sounds like your feelings are in a different place than his. And honestly I don't think its your feelings for him that are hurt, its your ego that is suffering. Its not his actions that bother you, but what his actions mean to you. Your brain is trying to assigning a motive to his actions to make sense of it all, that motive probably isn't very accurate.

Taurus can be pretty fucking dense when it comes to the matters of the heart. They only trust the truest of feelings that develop over long stretches of time. They can feel what your feeling, the moments of passion and desire, but after the moment has passed they ignore them. They enjoy and indulge in it while its in front of them, but they don't put much serious stock into them after that, because they feel there is little true value too it.

Now a lot of people can day dream, let these feelings fester until you start to believe something different. But see... the influence of the Taurus can gives the person the strength to shake off anything impractical.

And when I say they are pretty fucking dense, I mean that they expect everyone else to have the same understanding and feelings about these fleeting moments. And are pretty confused when you try to get them to comprehend anything different.

click to expand

Sorry to iritate you Astrobyn! 😢 It wasn't my intent.

Posted by Astrobyn

Taurus can be pretty fucking dense when it comes to the matters of the heart. They only trust the truest of feelings that develop over long stretches of time. They can feel what your feeling, the moments of passion and desire, but after the moment has passed they ignore them. They enjoy and indulge in it while its in front of them, but they don't put much serious stock into them after that, because they feel there is little true value too it.

Now a lot of people can day dream, let these feelings fester until you start to believe something different. But see... the influence of the Taurus can gives the person the strength to shake off anything impractical.

And when I say they are pretty fucking dense, I mean that they expect everyone else to have the same understanding and feelings about these fleeting moments. And are pretty confused when you try to get them to comprehend anything different.

Very spot on!

Nothing more to add.....

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by Astrobyn

Taurus can be pretty fucking dense when it comes to the matters of the heart. They only trust the truest of feelings that develop over long stretches of time. They can feel what your feeling, the moments of passion and desire, but after the moment has passed they ignore them. They enjoy and indulge in it while its in front of them, but they don't put much serious stock into them after that, because they feel there is little true value too it.

Now a lot of people can day dream, let these feelings fester until you start to believe something different. But see... the influence of the Taurus can gives the person the strength to shake off anything impractical.

And when I say they are pretty fucking dense, I mean that they expect everyone else to have the same understanding and feelings about these fleeting moments. And are pretty confused when you try to get them to comprehend anything different.

Very spot on!

Nothing more to add.....

click to expand

Yes, so it seems! I read that earlier and it made sense. Well I thought about my actions as they were so nicely stated by everyone in their responses and it dawned on me again that I should go to the source and speak my peace and have him to speak his. He was the first to admit that he should have communicated and apologized. We talked about other things that needed to be said and it was decided that we would move on from this. I told him honesty AND actions along with communication means more than anything and we'll see what happens. Thanks again for the honest responses!! Sometimes we have to be told straight up how we appear to others and I can accept constructive criticism. 🙂