Can any Taurus help me understand this—!

This Mr. Taurus somehow manages to sweep me off my Pisces feet. I was simply physically attracted to him (which I don't feels happens with me very often). We text back and forth a bit, although I would write a novel and be very open and he would text simple one liners, mostly....."How is my special lady this morning?", "Thinking of you", "Have a wonderful Day", etc. He told me he loved my, a bit quickly in the relationship I might add. Tells me he is a widow and that I have woken feelings in him that he's not felt for a long time. Says his wife died about 7 years ago, pulls out pictures of her, tells me a bit about her and how she died. So yes, I'm feeling very close to him, but there is this strange distance I feel with him too. Like he has a cement wall up around himself. As a pisces, I definitely feel it, but it's a little intriguing and I am just so attracted to him.....and I wouldn't even say he was a Don Juan or anything, but I just was. Who knows why the attraction......maybe it was just in the stars or something. So anyways, I googled him one day and I find a picture of his (I thought) dead wife on the same page that I found him. I dig a little deeper and get this feeling that maybe she died a year or so ago, instead of 7 years ago. But I find this phone number and I call her, and low and behold, she is totally alive! So his ex-wife and I have a little chat and I find he's told me a ton of lies including his age. He's actually about 10 years older than what he told me. (like 55 years old). He was not still with her....they divorced about 7 years ago and she says she's not talked to him for at least 5 years. So.....being the Pisces that I am, I really didn't want to just confront him or call him a liar. (Matter fact, I have never done anything except be supportive and very warm towards him. I really genuinely liked him for heaven's sake.) So I text him (and this was MY only lie to him ever!) that I dreamt about her in a dream where she came to me and said, "I am very much alive"! (which is in fact EXACTLY what she did say to me). And that this dream upset me, because there was more to it. (of course it was all in text because he was out of town). Well I definitely got the cold shoulder after that. : ( So, I let it go for a couple days....no texts either way. And finally, my impatient self texts him that, "A true friend is one who can understand the things which go left unsaid", and I understood him a lot deeper......

than he realized.....Like that or not. And I was prepared for what he wrote me back, which was that, "Although he felt deeply for me, he could not be what I wanted or needed him to be, and that the dream I had was scary, so he thought it was best if we just part ways". And basically I stated back (in text).....if he felt strong enough for me, he would try to understand instead of pushing me away", but then I said "So be it". What else can I do? It was sad and it hurt, but I can't make him want to be with me. It's sad because I wonder (seriously) if he has ever had a deep connection with anyone. I thought I could get through that wall, and OMG, the things I would have done for him to break through that wall. lol......I'm goofy, huh? We were really not together all that long....a couple of months. So, do you think he just plain did not give a damn about me? Maybe just using me for sex? (Which he couldn't have really "used" me for that anyway, cuz I liked it so much : ) Help me understand. And I know that most (normal) people would probably say, "get the heck away from that lying SOB", but, I don't know why I can't really feel that way? I just mostly feel sad. Maybe if he was 25 and did that, I'd think he was a scoundrel, but he's 55! How many guys, by the time they are that old, don't really want a DEEP connection with a woman? THAT was my one and only Taurus experience!

He is a pathological liar. Think about this...knowing he lied so intensely about this issue, how could he ever commit to anyone? He was playing the sympathy card to get...you close and feed his ego.

To ask if he really cared about you is like asking if Charles Manson was ever a friend to anyone. He is simply incapable. You are lucky to have gotten out so early.

Girrrllll, I say count your lucky stars..WHY LIE about something like that..I do not like Taurus men AT ALL for they do the most stupid stuff in the world. This was what you call a blessing in disguise, go forward and not look back!!!

I like to lay signs aside for stuff like this because bastards come in all 12 flavors. He is using a lie, and one geared to garner sympathy from women to dip his wick. He has no intention of becoming involved with any woman really, it's a game he runs. Of course he has a wall up, and an unbreachable one. No sense trying to save one who does not wish to be. Be well lady and take care of yourself.

Liars suck! I am 25 year old Taurus and despise liars. I have always told my partners the truth about my affairs of the heart, my feelings, the situation and etc. If there's one word my friends would ever use to describe me, it would be "stubborn", but second after that would be "honest". Maybe he was being dramatic about his ex, I mean, maybe he feels like she's "dead to him" after a huge betrayal or something. It's best not to poke and prod until we're ready to talk about things, we can get kind of defensive. If you really want this guy though, be up front about what you know and want. Lay your cards on the table, if he wants to play, he will...if not, well, you don't deserve someone who can't be honest with you anyway, do you?

RUN from this OVERLY dramatic liar that uses "Sympathy Game" to get some kitty. I find it hilarious that he equivalated 7 years of divorce to 7 years of DEATH. he is a very SICK Fukk. Keep it moving hun, your angels are definitely protecting you from this man.

+ Taurusbell

WOW 55 and still a lying scoundrel, there is no hope for him.

It's called Oxytocin, you'll feel in love with him for awhile but give it time

In humans, oxytocin is thought to be released during hugging, touching, and orgasm. In the brain, oxytocin is involved in social recognition and bonding, and may be involved in the formation of trust between people and generosity.

So you see there is an explanation for your feelings but unfortunately when that HIGH well come down is unknown, you'll feel bonded with him for months maybe even longer which is and can be emotional/mental torture because how can you reconcile his lying with the feelings you have for him, you can't so you'll possibly try to make excuses, go into denial and hope it all gets better but it won't get better, it gets worse.

He's a pathological liar and you can't trust a liar, everything he said was to gain something/get something, he didn't mean any of it and you know he didn't mean any of it if he lied to gain empathy/sympathy which includes gaining your trust and allowing him into your life.

Pathological liars lie lie lie all damn day long for no good reason, after lying about his wife you can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth.

Don't confront him, he'll just lie his way out of it and you'll believe b/c you're still under that Oxytocin spell, run for your life...

HIGH *will*

Haha ^^^ when in doubt, check him out!!! I love it =D

I wasn't sure anyone would reply. So thank you to all who replied. The encouragement couldn't have come on a better day and that was an interesting post about the oxytocin.....yes, the "bonding hormone". I think I must have higher than normal oxytocin level......I bonded to him way before we had sex. Wish some men had more of that bonding hormone. Very odd to me how they can behave so intimately, yet be so detached. Again, thanks!

Posted by tiki33
+ Taurusbell

WOW 55 and still a lying scoundrel, there is no hope for him.

It's called Oxytocin, you'll feel in love with him for awhile but give it time

In humans, oxytocin is thought to be released during hugging, touching, and orgasm. In the brain, oxytocin is involved in social recognition and bonding, and may be involved in the formation of trust between people and generosity.

So you see there is an explanation for your feelings but unfortunately when that HIGH well come down is unknown, you'll feel bonded with him for months maybe even longer which is and can be emotional/mental torture because how can you reconcile his lying with the feelings you have for him, you can't so you'll possibly try to make excuses, go into denial and hope it all gets better but it won't get better, it gets worse.

He's a pathological liar and you can't trust a liar, everything he said was to gain something/get something, he didn't mean any of it and you know he didn't mean any of it if he lied to gain empathy/sympathy which includes gaining your trust and allowing him into your life.

Pathological liars lie lie lie all damn day long for no good reason, after lying about his wife you can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth.

Don't confront him, he'll just lie his way out of it and you'll believe b/c you're still under that Oxytocin spell, run for your life...

+1 No truer words spoken. :-)

Kissing, cuddling, verbal talk eg getting into your head saying all the right things can create a strong bond so when he's doing dirty you'll most likely feel so strongly in love after you've found out the truth thus you'll be tempted to over look the insanity but hey do what you feel is best for you, this can't be easy for you but just know you can't fix his personality, he's a liar because he wants to be and there is no telling what other issues this guy has going on, it can't be good if he's starting the relationship this way, more lies are to come for sure.

Posted by tiki33
Kissing....you'll most likely feel so strongly "in love"

I say that bc that is what is perceived on your part.. but not on his.. coming from experience. XOXO as a Pisces female..

Girl please age has nothing to do with it! Men lie at ALL ages. Come now, how long have you been living on this planet? Plus haven't you ever heard the saying "Women mature faster than men". It's so true that it's sad. You keep talking about he too old to not want a connection, if he felt he'd already had a connection with a women he's most likely not in a hurry to rush to feel one with another and risk it not working. He may just want a break from it all. Most divorced men do. Some take longer than others. My dad was married to my mom for 10 years, they??ve been divorced for 20, and he STILL wont re-marry or even take another woman serious.

Yes I'd run if I were you. Heck if you were gona call the wife, you should've found out why they divorced. That's the missing piece if you ask me. I mean dang, what happen that was so bad, that he felt the need to tell people she was dead. What the hell?? If you want to get peace of mind for yourself dig for that. However on the flip side, he might be doing you a favor by leaving you alone and wanting you to stay out of it, and people are crazy there's a reason he don't want you to know much about her or their marriage. You said yourself you don't know him that well, so if I were you, I'd hold the memories tuck them away and act like he never happen. Somethings are better left alone, and this one seems like one of them with a big shiny red "LEAVE IT ALONE" bow.

Yeah, his ex did say that he told lie after lie to her, as well. Thanks all.

Yeah, his ex did say that he told lie after lie to her, as well. Thanks all.