Confusing, argumentative, jealous, possessive

stubborn, tiresome, bullheaded, pigheaded, control freaks!

That's the crap side of a taurus - as experienced the last few weeks.

emotional, loyal, attentive, affectionate, sexually intense, funny and protective - seems to be the good side.

However, the arguments are a royal pain in my fucking arse!

ooooo, that feels better, just getting it out there. 🙂

Here is how I've analyzed this:

stubborn- because we take time to analyze every angle before making a decision. The decision made has been well thought out.

tiresome- because life moves on a fast pace already. Sometimes it's nice to take things slow.

bullheaded- look at stubborn

pigheaded- this is men in general 😉

control freaks- Because we give it our all and expect reciprocation.

----

emotional- because when you're it, you're IT. No need to hold feelings. We show, tell, do, and give.
loyal- no need to stray when we've found a comfortable patch of grass
attentive- look at emotional
affectionate- look at emotional
sexually intense- look at emotional
protective- look at emotional

funny- comes naturally =D

And it's not "seems like the good side". It IS the good side.

And arguments? Please, all it takes is gentle persuasion 😉.

Awww, but we're so damned lovable! LOL Feel better NZ? 🙂

Posted by cutiebullie
Hey girlie does he want a relationship now? Do you mean he's ready for a relationship already? Why is he jealous and possesive? Or is that the stubborness and confusing reason why he's jealous and possessive when he is not ready for a relationship? Wow just reading my message give me a headache figuring things out - crazy. 🙂

LOL, it gave ME a headache too lmto, but it's nowhere near the headache I got after a bloody argument with him!

Yes, he does want a relationship. But he's such an argumentative bloke that i just dunno if I can be arsed. I like peace and quiet, argh lol!

Posted by SeeingRed
Here is how I've analyzed this:

stubborn- because we take time to analyze every angle before making a decision. The decision made has been well thought out.

tiresome- because life moves on a fast pace already. Sometimes it's nice to take things slow.

bullheaded- look at stubborn

pigheaded- this is men in general 😉

control freaks- Because we give it our all and expect reciprocation.

----

emotional- because when you're it, you're IT. No need to hold feelings. We show, tell, do, and give.
loyal- no need to stray when we've found a comfortable patch of grass
attentive- look at emotional
affectionate- look at emotional
sexually intense- look at emotional
protective- look at emotional

funny- comes naturally =D

And it's not "seems like the good side". It IS the good side.

And arguments? Please, all it takes is gentle persuasion 😉.

WOW! Okay, thanks heaps for that 🙂

I been thinking "wtf?" yanno? All this arguing and possessive stuff is a bit much for me.

VB: Yeah, i was having a quick-fire Aqua rant and today...I feel MUCH better 🙂

GOOD NZ 🙂

Posted by cutiebullie

Posted by NZAqua

Posted by cutiebullie
Hey girlie does he want a relationship now? Do you mean he's ready for a relationship already? Why is he jealous and possesive? Or is that the stubborness and confusing reason why he's jealous and possessive when he is not ready for a relationship? Wow just reading my message give me a headache figuring things out - crazy. 🙂

LOL, it gave ME a headache too lmto, but it's nowhere near the headache I got after a bloody argument with him!

Yes, he does want a relationship. But he's such an argumentative bloke that i just dunno if I can be arsed. I like peace and quiet, argh lol!

awww i know how it feels when a man just keep pushing your buttons just for the "sake" of arguing and proving he's right............. i love peace and quiet too....... harmonious relationships.....

are you ready to have a relationship with him?

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I am, but i have misgivings about the level of intensity/arguing I'm getting.

It's like there's a huge possession started, like ownership of me. I'm unsure how to handle that, I'm not used to it. I don't really "do" jealousy or possessiveness and it's almsot as if i don't display it then he gets anxious.

It takes two to argue and you are both fixed signs which = stubborn

Is it really all just him?

If your freedom is more important than a relationship with him then leave because his way of showing love includes some possessiveness. Taurus & Aqua do not normally get along for the long-term because of these issues.

"Once you give me security, then, you see a whole other side, the loyal, sweet, affectionate side. (The possessiveness is something that can be tempered but not eliminated completely. When I love someone, I think of them as "my property". Taurus' motto is: I own.)"

DEFINITELY. I've said before a Taurus on shaky ground is not pretty. Bull or with enough Tau in them to stand as one, it doesn't matter. Simply must know that we are on terra firma.

Find a an aqua moon-er. You'll love it!

Thanks heaps,people 🙂

I get the reasons as to why he's getting all jealous and possessive - because he wants to feel safe.

But i can't give him safety when I'm feeling like I'm on trial for things i haven't even done. The questions about cheating and how devoted i am while in a relationship, whether I'd be jealous if he were to be hit on, the fact me being hit on would make him jealous etc etc, it's all a bit much for me. I feel like he's planned it in his head that this is what i will do. I get why, but I'm just niot up for questioning my integrity knowing that I've done nothing to be questioned about.

So I'm holding back because I'm just a bit pissy about the questioning thing, which isn't helping.

If I'd gone out and shagged someone, sweet, I could understand it. Jesus, I haven't even shagged HIM, and I know how sexual he is because I've picked up on it heaps.

Gahhh, I'm in two minds - because the sweet side is really lovely and he's a very giving, affectionate man. But this possessive stuff is suffocating me 😢

How to deal with it? How to do it without resentment about feeling I'm being questioned for things I haven't done and create a compromise where he can feel safe and I get a breather from his jealousy?

I think it's worth the work, I do like him - I just like peace and quiet more and I'm running for that place more than I'm running for his company at present.

Posted by cutiebullie
it's really tough 😢 sorry to hear what you're going through.

hope both of you can get through this and both of you can make a wise decision.

Thank you. I hope we can too. I'm of the mind that nobody is perfect and that there is a level of acceptance needed in order to be happy with someone. I try and look at both sides before i make a decision. However, I find myself arguing to save my integrity, which is always of the highest quality, and I just don't feel i should be doing that 😢

I'll give at another little while and decide whether i feel it's a relationship to pursue or whether I'll keep it as friends only, because he's a sweet man, he's just expecting me to sort his insecurities out and i don't think I can do it alone. He has to do it too.

I sympathize with you NZ, it's so hard to deal with this when you have the highest of intentions. Um, perhaps he was burned in the past? Has he ever discussed past relationships with you?

You are a strong Aqua and I'm an Aries (pretty strong?) I'm engaged to a Taurus and I know there were times where he showed a tidbit of a sentimental side of himself and looked to me to be the one to get all mushy & romantic first with him. I didn't get it for awhile until I really feel in love with him and then it was easy to see what he was doing. He'd give a hint and want to see if I would follow thru or what could be considered as submitting to him. But it does not mean you cannot have a healthy debate or speak your mind. As a matter of fact, he loves it but he needs to know you love him no matter what, % 100 first. Ah, does that make any sense? After this is established between the two of you, he will not question your character anymore. He's provoking you to get in deeper to your soul and that is off-putting but he's looking for total devotion from you first before he can reciprocate. Fire & Air aren't normal compatible signs for Taurus and our perceived instability will make them want to test us. It's what they sense about our energy rather than what is true about our characters. It is a small price to pay because the rewards of being loved by them is worth it (to me anyway). 😉

Posted by cutiebullie
I dont know why he is insecure 😢 does he have kids? Do you have kids? Hows ur life style like compared to his? Are u earning more than him? Do u have plenty of guy friends that threatens him? How often do u see each other? Why do u think he feel insecure? Am sure u have an idea what's the root of all these. Poor thing, both of you should really trust each other otherwise this relationship is dead. It already ended even before it started 😢

He has two kids.
I earn more than he does.
I have many guy friends.
We see each other maybe three nights a week because he has his kids half the week and I haven't met them yet, so we don't see each other when he has them.
I think he feels insecure purely because i don't "do" jealousy. I know he wants to see me display some, but we haven't been in a situation where there's been anything to display it and I don't really "do" jealousy anyway.
He had his ass handed to him on a plate by his ex wife by way of not getting support from her at the end of their marriage.
I do actually trust him, he seems like the sort of guy who focusses entirely on his partner when he has one, so the trust is there for me.

I'm not sure how to handle his need for safety, given that I spend my spare time with him and speak most nights we don't see each other. It's tough atm 😢

Posted by Mistery
I sympathize with you NZ, it's so hard to deal with this when you have the highest of intentions. Um, perhaps he was burned in the past? Has he ever discussed past relationships with you?

You are a strong Aqua and I'm an Aries (pretty strong?) I'm engaged to a Taurus and I know there were times where he showed a tidbit of a sentimental side of himself and looked to me to be the one to get all mushy & romantic first with him. I didn't get it for awhile until I really feel in love with him and then it was easy to see what he was doing. He'd give a hint and want to see if I would follow thru or what could be considered as submitting to him. But it does not mean you cannot have a healthy debate or speak your mind. As a matter of fact, he loves it but he needs to know you love him no matter what, % 100 first. Ah, does that make any sense? After this is established between the two of you, he will not question your character anymore. He's provoking you to get in deeper to your soul and that is off-putting but he's looking for total devotion from you first before he can reciprocate. Fire & Air aren't normal compatible signs for Taurus and our perceived instability will make them want to test us. It's what they sense about our energy rather than what is true about our characters. It is a small price to pay because the rewards of being loved by them is worth it (to me anyway). 😉

On one hand he loves that I'm strong willed. On the other he seems to want a level of submissive behaviour that I'm not comfortable with. I see it that I'm a loyal and faithful woman and that in his head he's looking at me like I might go off and be with someone else. It's quite tiresome to have to hear that. It's also quite upsetting.

I know he needs huge displays of emotion in order to feel secure but I've told him "Look, I'm not a massive emotional-display woman, I can't pull it out of my ass because it will be fake, but i do care for you". It's not enough for him.
I'm Aqua, I don't do these huge displays of emotion in a physical sense, I tend to be emotional through words and gestures but he doesn't get it.

There is a sense of controlling behaviour to him and I'm unsure how to handle it. I'd like to boost his trust because in my head he's quite safe, but in his head he's panicky. Aside from weeping at the mention he might not send time with me or declaring t

cont... tearful feelings for him (neither of which I can do at this point because I;'m on guard too, over the integrity bashing), I don't know how else to soothe his fears.

He's lovely, and time with him is lovely when we're calm and he's feeling the moments of affection. I see he's a very sweet man and the trust is there for me....I just don't know at this point, how to handle the possessive/ownership thing 😢

Well, when he possess you, you possess him too but maybe that's not high on your list. So frustrating. Do you know his chart? Wonder what his moon, venus & mars are.

I love Aqua's.I really enjoy a lot about you all 🙂
but I could never start a relationship with one of you,because I require a level of commitment and depth of feeling you all just cannot provide.there is nothing wrong with that,or you,it's just that I'm far to grounded and you are far too free.
I could never feel safe enough,not because I wouldn't trust you not to cheat,but just because I would probably always feel one of the butterflies you're always chasing may take you in a direction away from me.and one day,I might wake up and you'd be gone forever.
I'm way down here_ and you're way up there ^^^^^^,and as much as I love watching you up there...I need you down here with me.
I'm sure that makes absolutely no sense to anyone but me,lol.

So,it may be that he adores everything about you,but he just can't lose that apprehension of you disappearing.we love so hard and so deeply,it's scary as hell if we don't get that sense of roots.


*shrugs*

I need more coffee.

It makes perfect sense.

Yay! 😄

Whoohoo! 😄 *peering in cup* Mexican cinnamon coffee with one sugar, whatchoo got?

I just got me some hazelnut. yer's sounds better.😢

We'll swap. *sliding over cup*

Posted by venusianbull
We'll swap. *sliding over cup*

mmm,that's good. 😛

I'm considering a nap though,5 hrs sleep just doesn't cut it anymore.😢

^ UGH, no it does not. 😢 Ever notice the dichotomy there? Napping blows when you're a child, then as we get older we'd like nothing better.

that's for sure! life is a crazy puzzle. :/

Sure is. In all its crazy ways.

On my way to take a nap,but want to say welcome to you Katie.🙂

Posted by BellatheBull
I'm far to grounded and you are far too free...I could never feel safe enough...and one day,I might wake up and you'd be gone forever.

Yep, I completely get that. I've never dated an Aqua, so I don't know about the dating part, but I know a couple of Aqua Males that seem pretty grounded, but then I know an Aqua female and her husband who are cooky for cocoa puffs crazy (not in a bad way, just out there).

^^KP, tell me how you really feel 😉 you are so shy and docile (not!) LOL.

Aries does that to a Fish, idn't it nice? LOL

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by USCTaurusGal
^^KP, tell me how you really feel 😉 you are so shy and docile (not!) LOL.

Daddy bull taught me well 😉

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Rock on Pops!!!

Horus, Horus...I'm drawing a blank; obviously I know Isis, but Horus, I don't recall in the recesses of my mind. Please, fill me in...

Sorry I'm late, I just had this scarab I couldn't do a DURNED thing with!

Hmmm...did some quick research of my own, Horus - God of light and goodness.

Nice picture dahlink 🙂

With Osiris dead, Set became king of Egypt, with his sister Nepthys as his wife. Nepthys, however,
felt sorry for her sister Isis, who wept endlessly over her lost husband. Isis, who had great magical
powers, decided to find her husband and bring him back to life long enough so that they could have
a child. Together with Nepthys, Isis roamed the country, collecting the pieces of her husband??s body
and reassembling them. Once she completed this task, she breathed the breath of life into his body
and resurrected him. They were together again, and Isis became pregnant soon after. Osiris was
able to descend into the underworld, where he became the lord of that domain.
The child born to Isis was named Horus, the hawk-god.

Sankoo *curtsy* 🙂

Posted by venusianbull
With Osiris dead, Set became king of Egypt, with his sister Nepthys as his wife. Nepthys, however,
felt sorry for her sister Isis, who wept endlessly over her lost husband. Isis, who had great magical
powers, decided to find her husband and bring him back to life long enough so that they could have
a child. Together with Nepthys, Isis roamed the country, collecting the pieces of her husband??s body
and reassembling them. Once she completed this task, she breathed the breath of life into his body
and resurrected him. They were together again, and Isis became pregnant soon after. Osiris was
able to descend into the underworld, where he became the lord of that domain.
The child born to Isis was named Horus, the hawk-god.

Awesome! I've always loved mythology!

Me too, culture matters not it's all fascinating stuff. 🙂

Now where's Osiris? He's got some splainin' to do. 😛

Posted by KingPisces
What else do you love?

I love many things, and I'm also passionate about others - which isn't always love...

Posted by cutiebullie
@katie: she cannot submit herself at this point because she is not sure about pursuing a relationship with this guy and the guy is also unsure so there's no compromise that has to be made.

(Back to our regularly scheduled program) - I agree cutiebullie. I think that there is some communication deficiency. Not intentionally, but they are not on the same page so there is a strong need for them to talk through this - reasonablly. If one of them is not ready to be in the relationship all (excuse the expression) balls out, then it will not be, because NO compromising will be made on eithers side.

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by KingPisces
What else do you love?

I love many things, and I'm also passionate about others - which isn't always love...

That's what I call love for indulgence.

What would those many things be Bullette?

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The sound and smell of the ocean breeze as I take a nap on the beach.
Divine music that lifts my soul and causes me to laugh & cry at the same time.
Many, many more...but will not bore the rest w/my ramblings!

Rain is marvelous. I laugh when people run in it. I like to just slowly walk and get soaked to the skin.

Posted by KingPisces
These people are past their 30s. Issues as such shouldn't even surface.

Awww, wouldn't it be so much simpler if that old saying, "With age comes wisdom" was true; alas, it's not always the case. The same mistakes people made when they were younger in dating, are likely to be repeated when they get older. Example - if a girl was catty and jealous when she was younger; she will likely be that way when she's older. Now, it can be tamed and reigned in, but we are who we are inside. I've changed and evolved, but strip away everything, I'm much like I was when I was younger...fortunately, I've grown and can control certain things, but I didn't put up with a lot of bs then, and I really don't now.

Posted by venusianbull
Rain is marvelous. I laugh when people run in it. I like to just slowly walk and get soaked to the skin.

Yes, my dear Bull friend...doesn't our lovely Janet Jackson have an appropriate song for that, "Making love in the rain - I can't believe the joy it brings me." Le sigh 🙂

"I decided to refine myself to offer the best to whoever was destined to walk along side me, but looking around I think there's not one worthy soul of sharing my essence with."
Yes, I'm sure many of us have felt that same way at some point. I work on being the best me I can be...that's the only thing I can absolutely control and have confidence in. Everything else is fleeting. Men, friends, even family can come and go...I only have myself to depend on.

Must leave all of you lovelies and go back to (quelle horreur - travaille) work.

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by USCTaurusGal
"I decided to refine myself to offer the best to whoever was destined to walk along side me, but looking around I think there's not one worthy soul of sharing my essence with."
Yes, I'm sure many of us have felt that same way at some point. I work on being the best me I can be...that's the only thing I can absolutely control and have confidence in. Everything else is fleeting. Men, friends, even family can come and go...I only have myself to depend on.

That's just the Taurean state of mind.

Born alone, die alone, but make as many ties as you can during the entire trip home...

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Perhaps, perhaps.