Is This a Test or what

hi ladies and gents, I will try to make this message short and to the point. My daugther father is a taurus as some of you may know and like I stated before we lost contact by my choice when I was like 3mmths pregnant(long story)but even then I think he was spying on me or something since when we reunited in nov after the birth of our daugther he knew things he shouldn't have like I move from my last place and stayed with my mom for a while, these r things he could have only knew if he was spying on me or something. I dont blame him he felt like I didnt want to talk to him and he probably wanted to know if I was still pregnant or what have you.

Now a new year I was kinda hoping maybe we could be together again, but things are different now and I Know he is kinda dating this one girl, so I have moved on and I am very content. For some reason or another I constanly feel like he is testing me or even better spying or something, he has two internet pages like facebook for example and he has his friends send me friend request and message, I just ignorne that's too close to home, even one guy a pisces that he works closely with. So I sent the guy a message like did he put you up to this you know we have a child right, he replied oh thats you I am sorry granted yes we only meet like 3 times but come on now.

Lastly, two days ago a friend of mine came over and then like the next day on one of my daughters fathers website he add a pic of this girl, and put my baby girl so and so. granted I was a little hurt but this help me realize I just want to co-parent with him and nothing more so I deleted my internet site pages so we would have no contact via this method and we were not friends on these sites anyway, I just seen that he check out my page a couple of times.

When will this nonsense stop. should I just have a talk with him, i try to make our phone conversations short, when he comes to my hse to see the baby I leave out the room. Maybe I am not handling this right I need suggestion I just hate games, drama, and unnecessary conflict.

Bulls do not like to let go, of anything. Despite that, you are doing the right thing I think. You've moved on, are happy in your life now. Just let the other crap roll off your back. If you feel like leaving the room when he stops by, be all means do. It surely beats a confrontation of any sort in front of the baby.
I had to come at it like a business arrangement. Yes, obviously I had feelings for my husband, and we created these two wonderful beings. But that is all done now, time to concentrate on the little one(s). I am courteous to my ex, but at the same time I do not engage in idle chit-chat nor go out of my way to be engaging. Our time is finished.
If you want to set guidelines down, do that too. Suggest a place for a coffee, take that little pumpkin to Gramma for some time to talk to him. Tell him clearly what behavior you accept, and what you do not. Tell him the high school crap isn't setting too well with you. You seem like a strong, clear headed woman to me, just have to sort out the business end of the deal.
And above all, GOOD LUCK. 🙂

Got the not wanting to let go part loud and clear though. 😉

You know what the bad thing about it is I kinda sorta want him back, but because of our past I don't think he would have the nerves to make the first move in fear of rejection, and I feel the same way so it us like we are stuck. Its really crazy , you all probanly know that us scorpio we hide our feelings and emotion and he probablys thinks I am not interested (little do he know).

Thanks ladies for the advice I think everything will work itself out one way or another, he is suppose to come over tomorrow so I will try to have a talk with him. will update you all. another thing is I havent been with a man emotionally,physically or nothing in 10 mths so it could be I miss some type of companionship. first it was the pregnancy i was moody and wanted to be alone and once going thru labor I didnt want a man to look at man let alone touch me but those feelings are fading.

Sorry I am so late to update I have been real busy and so has he we actually just found the time today to meet, he came to my hse to bring some diapers for our baby and I did want to have a talk with him but he was so into playing with the little one and just admiring her that I said maybe I will wait a while before I really have a talk with him. Things are defintely getting better between us I think a lot of the fear and nervousness is slowing fading and things can only get better in time. Today I notice him checking me out but that's okay and now we are actually having general conversation with each other and he is keeping me updated on his where abouts. So all in all I think he is testing me, just to see how far he can take it, but I think that things are getting better regarding our communication and it can only get better from this point on.

Men are so funny, I posted that my taurus on his internet page had a pic of a girl and under it read her name and my baby girl. He came over here Thursday night, I happen to look at his page(I like to look at him sometimes) and now he still has her pic but under it now reads her name and my friend that was just so funny to me, I wonder what cause that change of heart.

Just to give a little update, our communication is still going smoothly no problems the only thing is I always wait for him to call me I never call him unless our baby really needs something that he told me he would take care of. So we talk Wed and he said he would be over thursday if the weather wasn't bad so it was raining I figure he was not coming but no call from him so then friday and most of Sat rolls around and no call or anything, this for some reason just really upset me I like consistency in my life and i need to be inform if you want to come another time or whatever. So i was just very upset that Sat, I hate to think this way but I just felt like I didn't want him in her life anymore and that if he was to call I would just not even answers. It's funny though I think he felt or knew how I was feeling and I don't know if you all have experience that before feeling emotional about a person or a situation and then that person immediately appears , but that sat night around 9 40pm he call and ask if I was at hme and could he stop by, I said yes ofcourse (he arrive in like 5 mins of his call ) and then I felt differently about the situation. Our conversation was okay when he came over actually he was talking a little more so that's cool I just feel he thinks whenever he is ready to come by I should be hme I do have a life also and I have been dated and what if I have company or something which I haven't yet but will soon while he figures out what he wants and needs.

Bella that makes sense he probably doesn't want to call until he know he has time to stop by and and I can understand that not wanting to disappoint me or make the situation a lot worse or even him thinking I will be nagging or whatever, but he should know by now that I am not that type of person. I think he is offensive also kinda waiting for this bitch to emerge, also I agree with the statement above about feelings and luckily my taurus moon and sagg rising kinda helps with the scorp sun so I try to keep my emotions under control. I also have to watch what I say cause I never notice before until someone told me but with my sagg rising I don't think before I speak and I say whatever is on my mind which I know I have offended him before so I try to think before I speak.

Posted by LadyScorpioNov
So i was just very upset that Sat, I hate to think this way but I just felt like I didn't want him in her life anymore and that if he was to call I would just not even answers.

i'm sorry this is crazy. he didn't come see YOU so that means you don't want him to see his daughter...ever? you've already said that you cut ties when you were pregnant. you don't get to use your daughter as a ploy to get this man to conform to your will. it's kinda sick that you would even suggest that his not appearing when you want him to means you get to decide how his relationship with his daughter will play out.

i dunno if this is a taurus trait but i can not stand to be so blatantly manipulated and if i were him, i'd run. i'd be a good parent to my child but i would get to a point where i would have a third party handle the baby exchanges. even if i still had feelings for a person, the very notion of being controlled in such a disgusting manner would be enough to keep me from committing. if he's not out the door now, he will be if you keep this up.

you need learn how to focus on your daughter and being a good parent and co-parent to her. if you want him to judge your worth, try being a good mom. show your patience, love and dedication to her. that will go a long way in winning his heart not playing sick lil' games with your child.

@tubby, no maybe you read the texy incorrectly he was coming over simply for the purpose of bringing our baby something and to see her that was it, i was upset because if a man tells me he is going to do something i expect it to get done when you say so. This is my daugther so yes i was hurt because i felt like he needs to make time for her and be a man of his word, and this has nothing to do with the relationship between me and him, that is on the backburner for now our baby is most important right now.

i have friends who are in your place right now and i can't tell you how many times i have wanted to choke the sh*t out of them. you're so deep in it that you can't even see that this is not going to end positively...it can't with the way you're behaving.

you are a mother now. that is your priority...not your broken heart or a mucked up relationship with a guy who may/may not be playing games of facebook...FACEBOOK! i mean really, don't you have more pressing concerns throughout the day than worrying about who he's accepted a friend request from?

PLEASE heed this warning!: if you want a man to value you, you walk with pride, dignity and respect. you keep on talking about his being unaware of how you feel but seriously, anyone who's read what you've wrote in less than 30 days can see how you feel. you're only fooling yourself.

put your energy, your love, your dedication, your frustration into anything but him. get your sense of identity and respect back. remember who you were before you met him and realize that all you can do is control you. when you get that, then you'd realize that you know what, if he doesn't come over when he says he will to see your daughter...oh well. your daughter will eventually learn that dad is dead beat. you do NOT however use his shortcomings as a justification to limit their relationship.

when he has made plans to see your daughter, you make alternate plans. for example, when she gets older, if he says he's going to take her to chuck e. cheese, you should be prepared to take her. when he calls and asks where you are, tell him to meet you at chuck's. if he says he was going to buy her a toy, have a toy ready. you be her backbone but you can't offer her yours when you don't have one to begin with.

UGH!

@tubby I understand what you are saying and you have some valid points if that were the situation, The fact is I love him and I know he loves me as well and also our child. I would never use her to get back at him or for an excuse for him to be with me, I know that we will back back together in my heart and right now my focus is on other things like my child, my education and my career I know he will be there regardless and we both are taking this time apart to realize our goals in life, be that our family life, career, etc. In parting as for a backbone, believe me I have that and more, now I am done discussing this issue with you so any other comments feel free to start your own thread about this topic, LIKE u said in your statement me discussing this issues with you is like UGH !!!!

i know girl! ain't it crazy how when you show folks what they wrote how defensive they can be? maddening!

good luck...with your daughter.

ciao!