It sucks to like a taurus guy so much...

Beware super long post below, please read at your own risk! The purpose of this post is to identify my feelings, vent my emotion, and seek advice. Any form of advice is appreciated, negative or positive. Thank you in advance and pardon my poor grammar.

I have a taurus friend that I've known for a few years. Initially when I first talk to him, I did feel attracted to him because he was good looking. Even still, at first I didn't have a deep feeling for him and just consider him as a platonic friend. While we were platonic friends, we would talk to each other about life and relationship. I did ask him a lot about his view on relationships and what he value. I also check in on him to learn about his past relationship, etc. It didn't bother me when he talks to me about other girls and seek my advice regarding girls since we were just platonic friend at the time. Besides, in hearing him talk about what he value in a relationship, I knew at that time he will just be a friend because I believed he wasnt my type though he is physically attractive.

A year later, I started to like him because I was able to connect to him on a deeper level. I had then confess to him that I like him while I was drunk at one point. He didn't reciprocate back then. He did like the fact that I like him, but didn't say he like me back. At that time, I just shrugg that off and pretend nothing happen and talk to him like I normally do. At one point that year, I noticed hes been snapchatting a female friend of his frequently more so then me. I told myself at that time to forget about him and just be platonic friend. I told myself, if a guy like another girl, is in a relationship, or a girl like the guy I like, I would just move on or keep my distance. I did just that and focused more on school and entertain myself with asian-dramas to keep myself preoccupied.

1 and a half year later, we talk more frequently than usual, at one point he hint to me about the status of our relationship. He didn't say he wanted to be more than just friends. He would ask me at one point to be his other half. I figure he was just teasing me since he knew I like him before and so I ignore it. I also recall telling him if by the time I reach a certain age and I am not marry, I will just get sperm donation, and joke he is willing to donate. At that time, I noticed he shows more interest in me. Being the cancer girl that I am, I love to be chased again and again. I also love to test the guy that I like. I told him that the next guy that I date will be the one I want to date in the longterm, not a one night stand. He then hint to me that he likes me and show more interest in me by talking to me when I need him and be there when I need him. I rejected his advances and test him along the way.

Fast forward to december 2015 or approximately around that time, he still show interest and was coming off strong. He didn't outright ask me to be his girlfriend, but did hint subtlely he is interested in a future.

To be continue.....

He didn't outright ask me to be his girlfriend, but did hint subtlely he is interested in a future with me. At this point, I was hesitant. I had told myself, for my next relationship, I want to be with guy that I can date and trangress into marriage. I try to be highly selective to find guys that fit my criteria and value. I told myself that the next guy will have to be determined and persistent enough to chase me again and again, strong enough to not run away from the sign of hardship, protect my dignity and physically protect my body from harm, respect me and stand beside me, and is willing to face and overcome any form of hardship, not give up on me, and be there when I need him. I had told him I wanted a lifetime partner or lover, not a boyfriend that come and go in my life. My future is important to me so I had to be straight forward with him on that matter. He understood and did hint he is interested by doing things that makea me like him more.

Fast forward to February of this year, I tested him more to ensure he wouldn't be the type to cheat, etc. I know I am a very jealous person and would not be able to handle cheating or any form of affection or flirting from the guy I like to another girl. He told me he would never cheat on me. Okay. Then soon after, I slept with him. I wanted to know how he makes me feel during sex and see if I like it. It felt good and I liked it. After the sex, I felt attached to him more physically and emotionally. Unfortunately, after the sex, my inner emotion became hywire. I couldn't control my emotion properly.

Due to stress from work and emotional imbalance, I became a hot mess. During the month of March, I was facing many obstacles with so many sudden changes and heartbroken news from lost of family members mentally, betrayer, etc. I still face many obstacles at present, but is working to overcome those. During those difficult time, I had nobody to share my hardship with aside from my family. I couldn't rely on my friends to help me, it was issues that my family and I had to face together. Aside from that, I was having pregnancy symptom that devastated me even more. I was concern I might have ectopic pregnancy. During those emotional period, I debate back and forth what I should do. I tested him to see if he would be a good father, at the same time I wasn't sure I was pregnant. I took home pegnancy test 4 times and 1 clinical test. All end up negative, but I was still having pregnancy symptom such as dizziness, nauseous, sensitive to smell, vomiting, constipation, stomach ache. No period at that point. Due to the stress and other issues, I told myself to focus more on work from now on in order to move forward from the difficult times. And so I cut ties with him and any guys I've been talking to. I told him I was just using him to ease my boredom and that I was choosing between him and another guy so that he'll move on easily.

The second part is true, but that is another story. And so I deleted everything related to him, even his number. Anyway, a month later, I found out I was indeed not pregnant and my period appeared normally. I felt as if all my pain, stress and problem just went away in a second, though I was concern it might be a miscarriage. Even still, I knew I wasnt ready for a baby even though I would love to have one. And so, on Sunday morning after that, I suddenly thought about my life and all the event that happen that lead up to that point, I started to miss him. I miss the moment we shared in bed and the intimatcy we had and so I texted to let him know I missed him via skype. He responded back with retaliation saying why I still talk to him even though I am with someone else. I told him I wasn't dating anybody. And so we started talking again. This time, things were different, I felt his coldness and distant from him even though he still talk to me.

At this point, more obstacles arrive for me and my emotion became haywired again. This past two weeks I received one sad news after the other such as my grandpa is in the hospital, which I told him about. He made me feel better and then I told him I will excommunicate him again to resolve my issues and face my obstacles because I knew God is testing me this year. One sad news after the other each weeks. -_-.

At present, I became so obsessive of him. I think about him daily, 3 to 4 times a day. I try to do better and focus more on my work and hang out with my friends after shutting them out for awhile, I still think about him...when we talk about something, I suddenly thought about him. When I am at work, my mind wonder off to him. This practically drives me insane...what is worst is I became soo jealous and possessive of him. When he snapchat my female friend, I got pissed. The thought of him talking to his female friend or talking about his ex, pissed me off. When I didn't like him in the past or only have a slight feeling for him, it didn't bother me if he mentioned the other girls he talk to or tell stories about them to me, talk to them, havr sex with them, etc, it didn't bother me as much. Now, I keep on thinking, "what if he cheat on me with one of his female friends if we date each other". I also get annoyed and replay the idea that he still talks to a female friend he used to have sex with even though she has boyfriend. I don't know how many female friends he have sex with or how many girl he still currently talks to. The thought of it pissed me off. Thess thoughts kills me and I replay and replay in my head over and over again. At one point, I told him I was jealous of the thought of him talking to another girl. He said that was cute. -_-. Pissed me off even more as if he is making fun of me. And then sometime later, he hint for me to move on.

Today, I told my friend about this and she said I shouldn't be with a guy that still talks to a girl he have sex with and who knows how many female friends he is fucking. He isn't chasing just me and advise me to move on and find another guy. I knew I shouldn't be with him because the thought of him talking to girls he still have sex with plague my mind. It hurts and pissed me off even more. Right now, I am not sure what to do. I told myself on my way home to cut ties with him completely and move forward. But a part of me still want and desire him and thought a possible future with him. I am afraid if I do that, I would regret it. But at the same time the thought of him doing it with another girl irk me. Also, lately, he is distant with me. I had told myself before to strive to be the best girl that I can be for myself. I also know that he is currently not in love with me and had thought about doing my best to win his heart so that he will be loyal to me only. However, I still am worry about his female friends. I don't think he will stop talking to him. They are his friends and are part of his life.

So long story short, I want to stop obsess over him and focus on my work. I also want to make the right decision for my future, move on or try to win his heart knowing he will have a harem of female friends by his side until he decides to distant himself from them.

My main issues is to not obsess over him, any help is appreciated. Truthfully speaking, speaking to therapist would not help me. I've done that before and they keep on probing question and makes me feel more uncomfortable...hence why I don't trust therapist or doctors.

Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. I truly appreciate it. Venting this out made me feel better a bit. And help me understand my emotions more.

Posted by andstrollbot
i read many obstacles heart broken

Thats part of life that we all have to accept at some point. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't prepare for it. Thanks for your response.

For some reason. You assumed. Fact: He did not court you. Just because there is mutual feelings ( sort of horniness) between you and him doesn't mean you too are exclusive.

That's okay. I was there too. Take your time.

Just a tips:

1.) if you are dating a Taurguy always expect a drama.

2.) You need to have a thick skin. Brave at heart atleast to avoid pain.

3.) Always ask. Don't assume.

4.) If they don't say anything - Please consider it as Nothing.

5.) They always commit. It takes time.. the right one will hear it.

Ask me. Had 5 ex taurus.. I am moving in with him soon. I am taking my time so is him.

He was my ex for 2 yrs.. almost 3 yrs.

His first attempt. I just let it go.

I enjoyed dating a lot... just dating not sexing.

till he give up.. cuz if don't commit I won't give up myself.

Better luck next time OP. Just be strong.

What kind of advice do you want?

I do like your honesty OP.



No advice though other than to grow up and stop writing and talking about him.

Youre feeding into your own histeria

Cancers love to miss ppl. They get off on it.

Push ppl away only to feel the burn to miss them

Posted by Geminariescharmer
Lucky i had a cup of mac coffee before i read this lol, OP u had much drama in your life and you flake him off soo many times without even telling him why. I would give only one example as there are too many -where you flake him off when something happened in your family and you dissapeared, why couldnt you share with him if you love him. You hurt him too much and you are very emotional

Hahah, glad you get to enjoy your coffee prior to reading my post. I did told him about events that happen in my life and he has been there for me before. He had help me resolve some of my problem before. Its just that this year one things happen after the other when I wasn't even prepare. Before I knew it, another event arrive. A lot of it, I have to handle on my own so I decided to shut everybody out so I can resolve it. My friends can be there for me and say few kind words to support me. But at the end of the day, the problem won't go away on its own. I have to resolve it. Hence, I push everybody away. I still need to work on that.

Posted by brandyp
When something bad happens in your life, whether a family member betrays you or someone is sick in the hospital, you push your friends away. Are you embarrassed to share with them the trouble you are having?? Or do you not want to be a burden on them and bring them down?? Whatever the reason is, you don't have to be do strong on your own. Trouble and conflict is a constant reality in life, and if you push your friends away every time something comes up you will find yourself lonely eventually.

As far as this guy goes, you have put him through a lot. From being friends to blocking him on everything to the pregnancy scare. And then on top of that the jealousy. I mean you seem really intense AND you are an emotional Cancer. Good Lord woman!! Maybe take it down like 10 notches and try to be light and fun around him.

You def can't expect him to drop all his female friends bc they were around for him when you pushed him away and you are a flight risk and could take off again at any given moment. I would just work on the friendship for now and not even try to get him to fall in love with you. Maybe you could express to him that you appreciate his presence in your life, and explain you haven't been yourself lately and that none of it is his fault.

Wow, good luck OP. PM me if you want to talk.

Thanks you for taking the time to response and for your kind advice. I needed this reality check.

Yeah, most problems won't go away on its own. I'll have to resolve them. I did ask for help before and nobody was willing to help on certain item, hence the betrayal, others could only say words of encouragement. I was overwhelm so I decided to shut them off and try to focus on my work. I didn't cut ties with my friends, just let them know I was busy and have issues to resolve. As for guys I was talking to, I cut them. Save them the drama and baggage 😄 just trying to do them a favor.

I didn't told him I was pregnant. I wasn't sure I was yet so I didn't want to scare him. I just ask him hypothetical questions of what if you are in this scenarios, what would you do. His answer was valid and logical. I didn't told anybody about my symptoms. I wasnt sure if I was indeed pregnant. But it kills me during that time because I was having symptoms and I didn't have my period for 2-3 months. I rationalize it was due to stress and wait until my period arrive. While waiting, I became worry of the possibility pregnancy due to the symptom.

Hahha, thanks. I do need to tone it down. The only problem is that after I have sex with him, my feeling grew and my emotion became haywired. So does my jealousy. Yeah, you're right. They are his friend, whether he sleep with them or not. I will try my best to move on. Its killing me thinking about him and all of this. Save him the headache and trouble in the future.

Posted by busyeyes88
Sorry OP, but you say you had sex with him as an "experiment" ; then you delete him as if he is nothing and now you want to know him on your terms you expect him to "drop everything" and pay attention to you...

Forget it!! You like to tease, test too much. He's a human being with feelings not a damn toy. Just be a platonic friend. I'll be surprised if he even looks at you as more than a friend again after the way you treated him. I certainly wouldn't put up with it and the Taurus males I know wouldn't either!!!



If you can't be just platonic friends then I suggest you move on... Afterall, you did it before... You cut him off before it wouldn't be hard for you to do it again!!!!

Haha, thanks for your honesty. If I were him, I wouldn't put up with that either.

I tried to delete him so I can move on easily. I try to focus on my work and stop thinking about him. It didn't work. I still think about him constantly.

For me, I need to test a guy in order to ensure he is the right guy for me and will be able to overcome obstacles with me rather than running away from signs of hardship. Apparently, my taurus friend didn't. He stood beside me and help me overcome some of it. Its just that, this year, so many events happen. I didn't want to overwhelm him. My issues is for me to resolve. I can't resolve it if I keep on thinking about him and with it interfere with my work.

Yeah, I think I have to move on. I've made up my mind. I did it before, then that means there is a reason for it. If I have doubt, then I am uncertain. I shouldn't be wavering and put and end to this. Thanks for affirming that for me.

Thanks everyone for your advice. A lot of you gave me a reality check. I truly needed that. My emotion is something I need to control a bit more. Yeah, I do need to stop shutting people out of my life.

From reading some of your advice, I've decided to move on. Focus on my work and stop hung over him. Stop thinkng about him or talking about it. If I catch myself doing that, I will have to slap myself in the face 😄 and get back to reality. If I need anything else, I will be back guys. See you in a couple months 😄 thanks everyone!

Posted by busyeyes88
Forget it!! You like to tease, test too much. He's a human being with feelings not a damn toy. Just be a platonic friend. I'll be surprised if he even looks at you as more than a friend again after the way you treated him. I certainly wouldn't put up with it and the Taurus males I know wouldn't either!!!

Agreed!

Posted by Misstoogood

"He didn't outright ask me to be his girlfriend, but did hint subtlely he is interested in a future with me. At this point, I was hesitant. I had told myself, for my next relationship, I want to be with guy that I can date and trangress into marriage. I try to be highly selective to find guys that fit my criteria and value. I told myself that the next guy will have to be determined and persistent enough to chase me again and again, strong enough to not run away from the sign of hardship, protect my dignity and physically protect my body from harm, respect me and stand beside me, and is willing to face and overcome any form of hardship, not give up on me, and be there when I need him. I had told him I wanted a lifetime partner or lover, not a boyfriend that come and go in my life. My future is important to me so I had to be straight forward with him on that matter. He understood and did hint he is interested by doing things that makea me like him more. "

Misstoogood is asking for more than she is willing to offer, which seems like nothing but head games and drama.

"Please kiss my @ss, and kiss...and kiss... and kiss...until you stop kissing, and then ignore me, and then I will obsess, and then pursue...pursue...and pursue."

She sounds like CC.

I wonder what is the OP's astrological sign.

OP-

Keep in mind, other astrological signs will entertain you,

But a Bull is past all that Bullshit.

Stubborn as he is...

He will dig his hooves in...

And hold out a lot longer than YOU!

LOL!

My intuition was right.

CC is also a Cancer.

Well OP,

I wish you luck!