Scorpio hurt her Taurus feelings. HELP!

Taurus men, I need your help.

I am in love with the most amazing man I've ever met. I want to marry him and have babies, and he feels the same about me. The fact that he is more pondered and unwilling to jump into it right away hurt me a little bit in the beginning and made me feel like he didn't care enough, but now I am totally sure of his commitment.

We met in person in a very restricted social situation and kept in touch online, as we live in different countries, and after years of no contact we started chatting. We left partners once we realized what we felt and spoke for months about what we'd do to each other once we met again. It didn't happen. As scorpios do, I was fast to give myself, indulge in fantasies and be the hottest I could ever be, because this man turns me on irresistibly. But I felt so very inadequate at times. Sex got increasingly better as our time together ran out, but I felt he was not giving me enough of what I needed (he doesn't touch much and I need to be touched), even though no one has ever turned me on like he does.

But I am in love and committed and it doesn't even cross my mind ending the relationship because of this. I know we will work it out.

Inadvertently the other day I responded to something he asked in a way that made him realize I didn't consider him the best lover I've ever had. He is heartbroken and his manhood is deeply compromised.

What can I do to bring his confidence back? Will I ever be able to?

I feel my words have such power over him and I even don't try use it, it just happens. I don't ever want to hurt my baby. Please, please, advise me!

Thank you so much!

UF,

You can apologise. Just that. No need to feel guilt. You both are just dating not husband and wife.

and you have partner already so what's that sideline taurus you are doing? lol.

OMG - Love is not just 1 day or 1 week. It needs foundation. That taurus man I bet don't like to commit.

Specially Taurus are really possessive when in love. so if you are telling yourself you both working it out

now I want to tell you - it's bound to fail.

Posted by UnrivenFuss
Sex got increasingly better as our time together ran out, but I felt he was not giving me enough of what I needed (he doesn't touch much and I need to be touched), even though no one has ever turned me on like he does.

But I am in love and committed and it doesn't even cross my mind ending the relationship because of this. I know we will work it out.

Inadvertently the other day I responded to something he asked in a way that made him realize I didn't consider him the best lover I've ever had. He is heartbroken and his manhood is deeply compromised.

Oof...huge blow to the ego. That's probably one of the most important things to me - that I feel like I'm the best lover my partner has ever had. With a Scorp, and how into sex you folks are, seems like it would be an even bigger factor. Like you said, it does take time and communication though. Its tricky to communicate your needs to a partner, without making an implicit comparison to past lovers, making them feel inadequate in some way, etc. On the other hand, it is really a fatal wound to the ego if that information gets loose. The problem with a Taurus is we are really good at interrogating for that kind of info, will even pretend like we can deal with the blunt truth, then you pay the price if you give that....He'll definitely need time. I suggest you spin it in a way that does as little damage as possible, emphasize the short time you've had together, the importance of the connection you have with him, over just the physical/technique aspect of sex, and how that affects the larger picture, etc.

Posted by M143


now I want to tell you - it's bound to fail.

Unless M143 gets back with her Taurus, then things could be looking up for you.

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

I read it. Taurus was the best sex you ever had. No reason to be ashamed of that. lol.

Thank you, Everything. He did come around and agreed to talk about it. It wasn't such a small thing to him, like TaurusLovesScorpio said, it was caused him much pain and was a disastrous blow to his ego and his confidence in me. We are happy again and trying to build confidence and compassion from scratch. Thanks a lot for the advice on how to approach the situation, TaurusLovesScorpio.

That's what's so great about this relationship: there are no secrets, only a genuine exchange of thoughts and feelings and an enourmous desire to take care of each other and be the best we can be. I often fail by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, and my Taurus is so very sensitive to whatever I say, little things to me seem unbearable for him. Don't know if you want to share any insights on the fact that my ascendant is Taurus, Moon in Pisces/Venus in Scorpio; I don't know his ascendant, but he's Moon in Cancer/Venus in Aries.

M143, you misunderstood, my partner is this Taurus. What I said was that we left our previous partners because we wanted to be together.

This is my second relationship with a Taurus and as TaurusLovesScorpio said, the truth is in the first one sex was really hard to beat. I think I have been looking for the same kind of connection ever since. But this relationship is so much better on all other levels and I'm a better person as well. And even sexually, it's evolving into something I really like... I expect a lot from my Taurus!

@ UnrivenFuss sorry to rain on your parade, BUT.......

I wouldn't expect alot from the bull, some bulls are emotional manpinulators and are always the "victim", "bull is the bad guy, you're the good guy" some love to keep you guessing. i.e. call you, ignore you, text you, ignore you.

They love to disappear and never let you know where you stand with them. They are VERY good w/words. To me, they are like clouds, they appear so cuddly, that you WANT to get with one, but when you ride through one, it's sure is a bumpy ride and not at all what you expected. i think it's all to boost their egos, bc it's all about HIM, HIM, HIM, as they are very insecure about themselves. the less you expect, the less disappointed you'll be. I don't trust many bulls, in a romance sense, they almost always have an agenda, they come to your table to play cards w/you, but they don't tell you they have several tables going at once.

all the best to you.

From what I've seen and heard from taurus... If they are acting hot and cold, you've done something to them to evoke the response.

I was talking to Mae. That hasn't been anything like the experience I've had with either of the bulls I've dated. Completely opposite from my experience.

Posted by UnrivenFuss
I often fail by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, and my Taurus is so very sensitive to whatever I say, little things to me seem unbearable for him.

I've had this sensitivity experience with these signs (at least Taurus male, Scorp female) even just as friends. I have a Scorp female friend that can say the slightest thing and I get super offended, when normally I have really thick skin. Its usually a joke she's making, but playing off of some real trait I have - like my laziness, or my aesthetic sense (which she dubs "being in touch with my feminine side"), etc. I actually make fun of my self a lot, but when she does, I get really defensive, like there's something more to it. And if I joke around with her, and especially in that Taurus way of taking a slight shot at your character through my joke, she will just stop everything and get SUPER serious "What do you mean— What are you trying to say?". So its the same for both of us. I think it stems from that connection where we seem to get each other on a deeper level, so the jabs are more meaningful, whereas with someone who really doesn't understand me, I don't really care what they think.

@Eris Agree, I found that if a Taurus is hot and cold it's either they're not sure of themselves, or they're not sure of you. But when they are, there's no getting rid of them 😆

I've also had a few hiccups re: sensitivity and quickly learned that the Bull could make fun of himself, other friends could poke fun at him, but it wasn't okay for me to. He can't help but take it personally :/

@eris

Some bull, are just really selfish & self centered. It's always ALL about them. They want YOU to believe, it's something you've said or done, it's all a bunch of bull, to me. Lack of communication & consideration. Big ole babies. Stroke me, be nice to me, always touch me, yet, they do NOTHING, but to them they do a lot. Bleh.

@eris

Some bull, are just really selfish & self centered. It's always ALL about them. They want YOU to believe, it's something you've said or done, it's all a bunch of bull, to me. Lack of communication & consideration. Big ole babies. Stroke me, be nice to me, always touch me, yet, they do NOTHING, but to them they do a lot. Bleh.

Agree with both of you

Posted by mae6671
@eris

Big ole babies. Stroke me, be nice to me, always touch me, yet, they do NOTHING, but to them they do a lot. Bleh.

Kinda. lol.

I mean it really just depends on what you want in a man. If you want great sex, someone to chill with, someone who will add to your sensual and aesthetic experience of life - introduce you to new types of food, art, clothing, furniture, music, movies that you may not have considered before, someone who usually has a fairly solid financial foundation in life, etc. These are what I see the male bulls I know bringing to the table. Basically someone you can enjoy life with, if you are a fairly independent and strong person already. If you are really needy emotionally, and want a man who is going to make their whole life revolve around you, you should probably not get with a bull. Are you a Cancer? You smell a little crabby.

I actually really like the bulls, just not this particular one, obvisouly he's not liking me they way I want him too, but yet I know he does and maybe even loves me, but he's holding back and not communicating which makes it feel like it's a mind game. Plus it's almost like It's a power struggle, me for his soul, him for my mind. We just can't find a happy medium, however I believe I bring honesty and authenticity to the table than he does, he's mostly always luke warm. Never reveals much & basically is an alpha asshole!

Well, this may be blunt, but if you cave too quick in love, are weak and don't assert your worth with a bull, this winds up happening sometimes. Sounds like it *is* a power struggle, and he thinks he's dominating. You can put him in his place a bit, or you'll have to stay in your's.

Tls, I'm not a cancer, I'm a scorp. Smells can be deceiving. My thing is the mind games. The hot/cold. Just keep it 100..you either bring the business or get out of the kitchen.

Tls, I'm not a cancer, I'm a scorp. Smells can be deceiving. My thing is the mind games. The hot/cold. Just keep it 100..you either bring the business or get out of the kitchen.

Tls, you're right on. I did fall to quickly and was side tracked by his fake authenticity, so he was dominating me, but it's become too much work and love at the beginning stages shouldn't be this much work. It's time to get off this bull and let him lazily graze in his spot.

Posted by mae6671
Tls, I'm not a cancer, I'm a scorp. Smells can be deceiving. My thing is the mind games. The hot/cold. Just keep it 100..you either bring the business or get out of the kitchen.

How long in the relationship? Sometimes when a person is arrogant/self-centered or taking you for granted, you have to be willing to put everything on the line. And really, you should be. Those aren't qualities you should be attracted to. It should be an automatic turn-off when a person acts like that. Perhaps you are the one over-valuing certain aspects of this connection like the chemistry for instance. Respect is a must. If you feel disrespected or there's too much of a power imbalance, then you have to make a big move and basically show you'll walk if we can't have equality. That's what I would do anyway. You aren't asking for the upper hand, just equality. A bull isn't just going to give that, if he's used to not being required to. The power balance seems to be essential for Taurus/Scorp to work though.

A yr first 6 mo were long distance, but then he moved here & of course this isn't how it started out, but it's how it's ending. I still like him, but I love me too. I have blocked him bc I know I can still be weak to him, horrible I know, but everyday I'm getting stronger.

This is just all part of how a Scorp earns respect with a bull. We can think we have you once we glimpse that early and strong emotional attachment, not realizing how attached we are already. So we get cocky. Its a big ego boost when a woman is that into you early on. But then you have to teach us not to take it for granted by turning the tables. Show us that as strong as those emotions are, you are even stronger and can pull them off the table entirely if they are taken for granted. He'll give in a little if you do that, respect and value you more, etc. If he doesn't, it'll never work as he truly doesn't care enough.

Infinite8, you have no argument from me, that 'SOMETHING" i did is what TLS, said I caved too quickly and again TLS is correct I have to teach him not to take ME for granted, and I value and love me & honestly there are options, for now I just have to ride this wave...I don't dislike the bulls, just this one bull.

what gets me is, the time wasted, time is something I CAN NOT get back, again, if you're not 100 in, get out, very simple, but he moved here for a reason....I WAS that reason or so I thought, at least that's what he made it appear....but then the change which changed the dynamics, chemistry is there, he can make my toes curls and the funny part is, he doesn't do much, LOL I have to laugh at that bc it's HOW, he does it, not so much WHAT he isn't doing, but I know that too will only last so long....

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
This is just all part of how a Scorp earns respect with a bull. We can think we have you once we glimpse that early and strong emotional attachment, not realizing how attached we are already. So we get cocky. Its a big ego boost when a woman is that into you early on. But then you have to teach us not to take it for granted by turning the tables. Show us that as strong as those emotions are, you are even stronger and can pull them off the table entirely if they are taken for granted. He'll give in a little if you do that, respect and value you more, etc. If he doesn't, it'll never work as he truly doesn't care enough.

from my experience, this is 100% true but it begs the question then; is taurus and scorp destined to battle things out early on?

Jeane, in my case, I believe so, altho I won't give up on T men. this ONE T man, just isn't, for me.
I have two 2 males T men and they are great and married, depends on their chart, this alpha asshole has a lot of Taurus in his...ijs.

Infinite, absoultely, if I'm not kind to me, who will. def us scorps can OVERFUNCTION, which I did, with him and I'm finished kicking myself in the @ $ $ for it. like you say I do know better and right now I'm surf dating, it's helped tremendously bc when dealing with someone like him, it can really affect ones self esteem and I've allowed it to get to that point and so now I need a boost, surf dating is my boost. for the record I'm NOT sleeping w/anyone, just really getting out and meeting new ppl and knowing my worth...I have options...

Hey, off the record, anyone can answer, but how do you post someone else's comment as a shaded grey box and bold certain points in that person's comment and then post your own comment underneath—

Posted by jeane


from my experience, this is 100% true but it begs the question then; is taurus and scorp destined to battle things out early on?

I think they definitely are. I don't think BOTH sides have to be with a person who has earned their respect a little bit on the emotional battlefield. Seeing that strength in the other is a big part of the attraction IMO. Women have always caved real early with me. At first few meets, she gave me not even a 2nd glance. I mirrored. Then when we got a little closer within my company, I noticed the looks, the stepping up of the sex appeal. I'm playing my cards close, just acting oblivious and waiting/watching. Then out of nowhere, she just escalated it all to where I was like "wow, this girl REALLY must like me." Staring constantly at me. I can still remember IGNORING her again and again with a cocky grin on my face, thinking "that was easy. now you're just mine. You are desperate even." But I felt no investment myself. I had everything I wanted. My ego was on a throne looking down at the world I owned....so I thought. Then she just took it all back, reversed the entire situation with a week of ignoring me so hardcore, I started wearing brighter clothing to work. LOL. By the end of that little skirmish, I was thinking "Ok, I am in love, I am obsessed, I think this person owns me, I may have ruined my chances! What do I DO—??!!" Then she came back to me for terms of peace, and resumed it all, having made her point. LOL, I could feel the relief of BOTH of us. This happened SO MANY times too. So many....All very subtle with eye contact, body language, etc. - but all so powerful, with energies being exchanged that had me higher than I've ever been.

Bulls that are used to women caving early, are NOT expecting a woman strong enough to pull it all back. We read it as weakness because often it is. That inner strength is so attractive to us. It can be expressed in the boundaries you draw, or in a very subtle way; we can see it in just how you look at us. That one look of sexual confidence that a Scorp woman can give, which expresses that strength, can completely win me over.

Well, I'm ingoring this bull, & I'm not really sure I want to go back for more of the same...as you said TLS, it happen SO MANY times too...to me that's exhausting, blow to the self esteem, too much work, involved..bulls are lazy, even tho they are HARD WORKERS, they are lazy in other areas of their lives.

it's completely a boost to his ego, he's was chunky, when I met him, I am not, but now he's lost weight and is exercising on the regular, which is good, he's still an asshole and ima about to burst his ego, he'll have to start all over again and TLS, you know Bulls, don't really like XTRA work...I can't think I make him more attracitve. ijs, he has gotten more attn being w/me than when he was solo.

BTW, this bull has not been married, never lived w/a woman and has no children, I beginning to understand why, now.

I meant to say I actuallly think I make him more attractive...and I think he likes it....

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

I think they definitely are. I don't think BOTH sides have to be with a person who has earned their respect a little bit on the emotional battlefield. Seeing that strength in the other is a big part of the attraction IMO. Women have always caved real early with me. At first few meets, she gave me not even a 2nd glance. I mirrored. Then when we got a little closer within my company, I noticed the looks, the stepping up of the sex appeal. I'm playing my cards close, just acting oblivious and waiting/watching. Then out of nowhere, she just escalated it all to where I was like "wow, this girl REALLY must like me." Staring constantly at me. I can still remember IGNORING her again and again with a cocky grin on my face, thinking "that was easy. now you're just mine. You are desperate even." But I felt no investment myself. I had everything I wanted. My ego was on a throne looking down at the world I owned....so I thought. Then she just took it all back, reversed the entire situation with a week of ignoring me so hardcore, I started wearing brighter clothing to work. LOL. By the end of that little skirmish, I was thinking "Ok, I am in love, I am obsessed, I think this person owns me, I may have ruined my chances! What do I DO—??!!" Then she came back to me for terms of peace, and resumed it all, having made her point. LOL, I could feel the relief of BOTH of us. This happened SO MANY times too. So many....

Bulls that are used to women caving early, are NOT expecting a woman strong enough to pull it all back. We read it as weakness because often it is. That inner strength is so attractive to us. It can be expressed in the boundaries you draw, or in a very subtle way; we can see it in just how you look at us. That one look of sexual confidence that a Scorp woman can give, which expresses that strength, can completely win me over.

lol, who knew the taurus male and the peacock had so much in common? 😄

thanks for the explanation. it is interesting. especially as scorps (like for example mae) is willing to pull the plug at a moments notice. maybe that is part of the push and pull, taureans hold on too long where scorps won't hesitate to slit its throat.

i'd love to know what was going on in her head at the time.

Posted by mae6671
bulls are lazy, even tho they are HARD WORKERS, they are lazy in other areas of their lives.

Hell YES. lol. So true. We are not good at multi-tasking. Give me one main thing and I will put EVERYTHING into it. But then I have nothing left. 😢 LOL. Its rough. I know....I regularly kick myself in the arse. I just bought my Sag a Pomsky (half Pomeranian/half Husky). They are kinda rare and expensive as hell. Cutest little dog; its like a little wolf pup. I bought it for her under conditions. The conditions were "I don't want to have to do ANYTHING." LOL. I don't walk it, feed it, or clean up after it. It basically affects my life in no way whatsoever. Now karma is teaching me a lot of lessons with that one, as I feel guilty for riding my Sag too much about the mess its making, wind up walking it outside at night bc I don't want my Sag out there alone, and as I feel jealous over how affectionate it is with my Sag. I want it to love me as much, even though I don't do anything for it. Its so cute and it snuggles with her, but I will pet it, even when its sleeping, and it will wake up, look at me, then walk away and go sleep outside of my reach. LOL! In my head I'm like "Well, I don't do anything for my Sag, and she is hooked. What is the deal with this dog?!!" LOLOL. The dog is actually a Sag too. I bought one that had her Sun, Ascendant, Merc, Venus, and Mars. It even looks like my Sag!

Posted by jeane

lol, who knew the taurus male and the peacock had so much in common? 😄

thanks for the explanation. it is interesting. especially as scorps (like for example mae) is willing to pull the plug at a moments notice. maybe that is part of the push and pull, taureans hold on too long where scorps won't hesitate to slit its throat.

i'd love to know what was going on in her head at the time.

edit - so perhaps a moment's notice is not accurate but you get the general idea.

Posted by jeane


lol, who knew the taurus male and the peacock had so much in common? 😄

LOL...Leo stellium here.

Jeane, at a moments notice....try 6 months of checking things out, playing by his rules, but still seeing the writing on the wall....no sense in continuing the push and pull...I like to reserve my enegry and rest up, for when I really need it...ijs.

Posted by mae6671
Jeane, at a moments notice....try 6 months of checking things out, playing by his rules, but still seeing the writing on the wall....no sense in continuing the push and pull...I like to reserve my enegry and rest up, for when I really need it...ijs.

yeah, that's fair enough. it was poor wording on my part. i should have said that scorps won't hesitate to pull the plug and walk.

Posted by mae6671
Jeane, at a moments notice....try 6 months of checking things out, playing by his rules, but still seeing the writing on the wall....no sense in continuing the push and pull...I like to reserve my enegry and rest up, for when I really need it...ijs.

LOL - well, depends on the Scorp I think and how much they are feeling it. Venus in Scorp, who really feels it? They can hold on for a lifetime. She still comes around...lol.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by mae6671
Jeane, at a moments notice....try 6 months of checking things out, playing by his rules, but still seeing the writing on the wall....no sense in continuing the push and pull...I like to reserve my enegry and rest up, for when I really need it...ijs.

LOL - well, depends on the Scorp I think and how much they are feeling it. Venus in Scorp, who really feels it? They can hold on for a lifetime. She still comes around...lol.

click to expand

The thing with Taurus/Scorp is that either side can get caught up in accepting behavior from the other, they wouldn't normally put up with, bc the chemistry seems to cover over it all, or compensate for it. There's something to that. There's something to that "you can do no wrong in my eyes" sort of feeling. But boundaries still have to be set, respect still has to be given, equality is still a must.

Infinite8 is DEEP, LOL... I don't like to slit throats, such a bloody mess, I know, I've done it before, in my younger days, wink, but now as a grown as woman I won't hesitate to know my worth and value and bow out gracefully, I'm going to ingore him so bad, that he'll question his own existence, I'm not saying I'm completely finished w/him, but he'll never have me the way he did before..HELL NO.

TLS, you are so right on, I wouldn't normally put up with it from others and have easily walked away, until him, that's def the part, that gets me, is he got to me, ERRR, but you are so right on w/the bounderies and respect too, it's a must! there is no compromising on that.

BTW, I Like you TLS...you're very insightful, good writer too...blunt, I like blunt, and it appears, you can really read into things pretty well.

yes, all true. will compromise more than they thought possible and yes, the depth of feeling is still there but there is a limit and although the emotions may still be present, beyond the mountains of grey and the 'ugh, s/he has gotten under my skin', there is a clear and deep boundary that scorps seem to hold themselves to. screw the emotion, it becomes a nose off to spite face situation when push comes to shove.

when scorps are concerned it appears that self preservation is paramount.

Posted by jeane
yes, all true. will compromise more than they thought possible and yes, the depth of feeling is still there but there is a limit and although the emotions may still be present, beyond the mountains of grey and the 'ugh, s/he has gotten under my skin', there is a clear and deep boundary that scorps seem to hold themselves to. screw the emotion, it becomes a nose off to spite face situation when push comes to shove.

when scorps are concerned it appears that self preservation is paramount.

Yeah, I can see that as well. Pride also is a factor, and in a good way.

Posted by mae6671
BTW, I Like you TLS...you're very insightful, good writer too...blunt, I like blunt, and it appears, you can really read into things pretty well.

Thx. 🙂

Idk about the nose to spite face thing, but I do know, if I don't protect myself, no one else will..and yes, pride is also def a factor, you must have pride, value and worth, in one self

@I8, I knew what you mean, I just thought it was funny, how you highlight that part and said, it sounded beautiful to you, I understand, believe me, hence why I said, in my younger days and life is def a lesson and we get wiser and better at it, while still always learning something new.

We are all less flexiable when older, due to life exp's and HARD lessons learned, right now I'm all about getting my self esteem back UP and reserving my enegries to where it's warranted, period. even tho, TLS, he makes my toes curl, just thinking about him, LOL, sorry I typed that out loud. The sexual scorp came out, just now. LOL, I'll miss him and that, but I'll also gain some of MY control back, as well, but it's like TLS, said, he's in the driver seat I allowed him to drive for too long..