shallow, arrogant, insensitive taurus guy

sheeesh...

I email to tell him I was going overseas for six months and taking time off my PhD

this type of break is allowed for most university degrees and jobs so you don't need his approval, just the university approval to sign off for a lil while. Ignore him and do what you need to do to get your life back together. In your fragile state, you surely don't need more stress do you?

Finally, not everyone will ever understand what you feeling, only you so you need to do what you need to do, / and draw strength from whoever offers it willing.

You are not going to change him. like nothingswrong says

Take care

When your down that's when you truly get to see and know who your real friends are...unfortunately he's not one of those friends...Please stop seeking approval from this guy, for the most part he can't handle the hard stuff in your friendship, he can't nurture your feelings nor empathize/sympathize with your illness, he doesn't get it and he won't get it..some people really do believe a person can just snap out of depression just like that and it's not that simple...you don't owe him an explanation, nor do you need to apologize for being who you are, please stop explaining yourself to this guy, he's proven that he doesn't really get it nor does he care enough to try and get it.

This is how Taurus is. We are sympathetic up to a point. But if it gets to be too much then it's time for a "Put on the big girl panties and DEAL with it" mentality. We're generally not butt smoochers in that arena, we're too realistic. It doesn't mean we do not care about what is going on in your life, it just means we like to lower the drama quotient to minimum.
So, if he's a good friend, keep him. And if you want sympathy for that and he's not providing it, seek elsewhere. Just because he isn't fawning and patting doesn't make him any less of a friend. More of one in my opinion, he's giving you the straight skinny.

Posted by venusianbull
This is how Taurus is. We are sympathetic up to a point. But if it gets to be too much then it's time for a "Put on the big girl panties and DEAL with it" mentality. We're generally not butt smoochers in that arena, we're too realistic. It doesn't mean we do not care about what is going on in your life, it just means we like to lower the drama quotient to minimum.
So, if he's a good friend, keep him. And if you want sympathy for that and he's not providing it, seek elsewhere. Just because he isn't fawning and patting doesn't make him any less of a friend. More of one in my opinion, he's giving you the straight skinny.

Yes, and to add to that, we are (most of us) caring and highly sensitive to peoples feelings - with this caveat, if we feel that the situation is just neverending and going nowhere, then we will give the advice that may not be good or easy to swallow, but as VB said, we give the "straight skinny." I have friends who are emotional vampires, and sometimes I look at the phone and can't even bear to answer because it's the same thing over, and over, and over again. There is only so much that friends and even family can really take, and that's why there are professionals out there that can assist people, because mental health IS an extremely serious illness and should be handled as such.

I've lost some friends too, because they asked my opinion and didn't like my response. It happens.

I am very familiar with depression and other mental illness PLA, it's rife in my family. Which makes me aware that it is an ongoing thing which requires treatment. None of which he can help nor 'fix'. The words I gave you were in no way meant to be unkind, tis just how it is in Taurean playground. Since it cannot be sussed out, it's swept into drama corner. And every Tau I've met, including myself, locks up tighter than a nuns knees around it. We just unplug a bit and get mentally distant around it. It does not mean we do not care.

Also, most Taureans I know like to be able to help their friends, family and even strangers, but they pick and chose their "battles" wisely. In this case, unless he is a psychiatrist and/or someone in the mental health field, he probably feels wholly inadequate to be able to assist you, and while you are stating you just want to know he cares, it is apparent that this situation is much like an intervention sort of sitaution than simply someone having a bad day/week. As I stated, and VB did as well, Mental Health issues are serious, and need to be handled as such. Mental Health issues are not skinned knees; bad days at work, or being dumped by some random guy/girl - it is serious...as well you already know.

see Bella I have to get the dxp god to make a drama board it would empty out most of the other boards.

Pisces - I understand what you going through and I appreciate your honesty about your mental illness.

Unfortunately, you told this Taurus guy your deepest and 1 thing about earth signs, they are very real and practical. Emotions don't mix well with them, only if their mad. Taurus are very cool people as in calm. It seems like nothing doesn't bother them but thats just their disposition. AND their selfish.

I don't know if it was a mistake for telling him but if its a guy you like, the certain things like this a turn off. Think about it: If you were in his shoe, you mentally unstable, in and out of school and other stuff. YOU don't have yourself together and no relationship is gonna change that. You have to fix and love you first darling.

If he is thinking practical like a Taurus usually does, getting with you is considered a risk, too much drama. Its additional drama that he doesn't want and will avoid.

These men like confident, beautiful, outgoing and smart women. Almost all Tauruses I know have a penchant for vanity.

I think you should take care of you honey and stop worrying about his validation. Some girls think that seeming like the damsel in distress will win a man but in actuality its a turn off and a lot of baggage.

He was pretty pig-headed and insensitive but real with his response. You won't get it in any other way from him.

Depression sucks, I have experience with it....but you have to pull yourself out of it.

Take care of you honey....he is not gonna be your Knight in Shining Armor. You have to be that for yourself.

Ahhh Bells. I thought I smelled a summer breeze.

LMAO Forgot panties. Whoooooot!! You minx you.
Agreed, we care heaps, we just don't...like...the...bloody....DRAMA.
I've been depressed too, hell, I'm depressed now for reasons anyone here that knows me knows of what I speak. I reach out when it gets unbearable, but keep it to m'self for the most part.

Posted by venusianbull
Agreed, we care heaps, we just don't...like...the...bloody....DRAMA.

Absolutely!

Posted by venusianbull
I've been depressed too, hell, I'm depressed now for reasons anyone here that knows me knows of what I speak. I reach out when it gets unbearable, but keep it to m'self for the most part.

click to expand

Must be something in the air...sigh. I'm about 10 steps away from reclusion (is that a real word?)

If it isn't, it should be. 🙂 Like a combination of reclusive and seclusion. I think a secluded lake cabin, fully stocked sounds about perfect.

Posted by venusianbull
I think a secluded lake cabin, fully stocked sounds about perfect.

Now, THAT, I could get with - anything secluded and stocked with my preferred spirits and food! I'm just f-l-a-t right now. I can't stand it, and I'm annoying my damn self!
"This too shall pass..."

*not hijacking the OP's thread - back to topic*

I hear you woman. I went on a shopping excursion for my trip and while not tapped, I had to reign that shiz in quick. Needless to say I got a corset, a dress, some pinup shoes ( 4" heel luscious black satin..purr ), some rocking red lipstick, some of my schmexi schmexi scent, seamed hose, and the kicker, some diamond drops. I am sitting on that account for now, still have enough for tickets, et al, but want to get in that comfy zone again.
And absolutely. Maybe there should be a huge cabin in the woods, just off a lake. Camp Taurus. We could all be silent and tell each other to piss off when we felt like it and no hard feelings. 😉

OOPS, and I just shamelessly hijacked it. Bwahahahahahhahaa.

Posted by venusianbull
Needless to say I got a corset, a dress, some pinup shoes ( 4" heel luscious black satin..purr ), some rocking red lipstick, some of my schmexi schmexi scent, seamed hose, and the kicker, some diamond drops.

EWWWWWWWW! Fabulous dahlink! I love it, now that put a smile on my face! You rock it lady!

Posted by venusianbull
Camp Taurus. We could all be silent and tell each other to piss off when we felt like it and no hard feelings. 😉

click to expand

Yes, I could go for that, as long as there are no psycho killers plucking us off one by one a la - Jason style !

Posted by venusianbull
OOPS, and I just shamelessly hijacked it. Bwahahahahahhahaa.

You insensitive beast you! 😉

Why thank you luv! *curtsy* Those shoes are some serious babies, and I'm going to put them to work, better believe it. Absolutely NO psycho killers at Camp Tau, even though we'd look mighty damned fetching in our undergarments and looking shocked ( and wondering where the shit music was coming from..might be a manhunt just to make it stop... )
I am, I am a selfish and insensitive woman *dramatic hand to forehead* and yet I'll go on...SOMEHOW. 😉

I acknowledge the serious aspect of your condition PLA, but do not tell me that the death of my youngest daughter is not something to be depressed over.

And while I'm on this particular stage now, my father has been on medication for depression and anxiety attacks since the age of 12. Not to mention my eldest girl suffers from depression, anxiety attack and is bi-polar. Insanity runs on my mothers side, hard and deep. And we're not talking about Aunt Agnes is a bit dotty, we're talking about flat out INSANE. Nut-hatch, boobysville, BONKERS. Clinical. No folks, friends and neighbors, they're all not bred on one farm in Idaho, they're alllll around.
So again madam, I appreciate your condition. I understand that it is very real. But do not suppose you know whether or not I have a leg to stand on, because I will stand here and tell you that I DO.

Thank you for that, truly. And I would like to extend a hand to you as well, I DO acknowledge your personal pain. I am a feeling human being, keenly. And I do understand.

And on the heels of that, I do apologize. Got a little breeze up the back of my dress over that one.

🙂 See, we're not all bad. xx

Oh sure Bells *sniffle* showing off your Moon again. All I gots is this one on Fire. *running off sobbing*

I had to stop reading the comments - the bottom line here is that this is only one side of the story and quite honestly the pisces women I know are all overly dramatic and even crazy. They beg for sympathy every chance they get and eventually it gets to be like "okay, I'm getting a little tired of this game". I suffer from depression - dyusthemia to be specific which is long term depression - and I started anti-depressants a little over a year ago. When I was down and feeling suicidal etc I didn't cry to my friends and say "oh this is why I'm acting the way I am" I just pulled away and kept to myself. People who make a big deal about it are usually just acting up for attention and my impression from what you put here is that this is the case. I could be wrong and this guy could be a total jerk, but like I said it's only one side of the story and your side of it makes me think there's more going on here than you're saying.

If you were really just looking for advice on how to cut him off as a friend you would have just said you went through something awful and he wasn't there for you but you don't know how to tell him you don't want to be friends - and wait for advice. Instead you took the opportunity to be a drama queen and give us a bunch of information that is completely irrelevant to the advice you asked for and just makes him seem like an asshole so everyone comes and pats you on the shoulder and tells you how awful that is.....you really showed your colors - sorry.

"When I told my friend this, he said "stop being immature and finish the f-ing degree."

Then he emails me and said "one day you're going to wake up and realise you wasted your life with bad feelings. You need to get your act together, stop being a hermit, go buy some short skirts and high heels and get a life."

"I really apologise for making you feel uncomfortable when I told you about my mental problems and so on. I realise that was selfish of me" then he responded "yeah and i accept your apology, though i didn't take too much offence so no problem."

HA!

is it wrong that his responses made me chuckle? sounds like something i'd say to someone who's emotionally draining. i also inconveniently disappear on people who suck the life outta me.

thus, i agree with VB, USC, X... as f'd up as it sounds, we don't do emo-displays very well but to be flippantly humorous instead of "there, there," a taurus will generally have had to witnessed one too many emo-storms to be so crass. otherwise, he's just an asshole.

i'm sorry to hear that things got so bad that you wished to take your life. i hope that your treatment is going well and that you're getting "better." i do not take your situation lightly and i'm concerned about your fragility. frankly, it makes me nervous even responding to this post. lord, what is she gone do!?

with that said, why are you so concerned that he didn't "behave like a normal person?"

after my mom died, i wanted my ex to behave like a "normal person" as well. but i also wanted him back. i wanted him to comfort me in the way that he should...as a BOYFRIEND. he did not. it made my depression worse and me feel all the more alone.

in retrospect, he didn't owe me shit. sure, he didn't have to be a prick and his being unable to process my emotions in a mature fashion is sad but i had a choice in that moment...cut that mofo off! fuck his bitch ass don't know how to give a sista a hug and shit...bitch!

but i didn't make that choice, i kept trying to seek the affection of this asshole in the manner that i wanted. my mom died and instead of processing that, i'm looking to this icedick to give me a hug!? you almost took your life and you're on here wondering why the tau didn't bring you soup and cookies?!

you want him back? the affection back? he doesn't want you. that's why you're not together. accept it and focus on healing you.

I didn't mean Tauruses don't feel. That they do. I just think that their not trying to hear that Emo crap all the time.

My Aunt, who is a Taurus, had some hard times too in her life but she just deal with it, some people would be depressed and give up in her shoes, she is strong and she deal with it.

Their tough people who are calm when everyone is upset.

PiscesLeoAqua just be hopeful for you. Taurus or not, you have to worry about yourself. His opinion doesn't matter at this point.

Smile because you have life, you are smart and have a beautiful spirit. Look in the mirror and LOVE YOU. :-) ♥

You totally missed the point - this is one side of the story and my impression of what you've typed here is that there is more. Of course people on their high horses ALWAYS choose to ignore when I say "I could be wrong". You guys say you're giving another perspective.... but you didn't like the alternative perspective I was giving.

And by the way there is a difference between going to therapy and going on a chat site looking for people to say "oh poor baby......". Her explanation had nothing to do with her question. I'm a psych major and the way she posed her question versus the information she gaves shows she was just looking for people to validate her aspersions of this guy. My point was there's a completely different side to the story that no one here knows.

If you're just looking for people to bash this guy you might want to try another forum..... not asking the bulls to bash another bull......

Posted by justSophs
I didn't mean Tauruses don't feel. That they do. I just think that their not trying to hear that Emo crap all the time.

My Aunt, who is a Taurus, had some hard times too in her life but she just deal with it, some people would be depressed and give up in her shoes, she is strong and she deal with it.

Their tough people who are calm when everyone is upset.

PiscesLeoAqua just be hopeful for you. Taurus or not, you have to worry about yourself. His opinion doesn't matter at this point.

Smile because you have life, you are smart and have a beautiful spirit. Look in the mirror and LOVE YOU. :-) —

You're so kind and supportive. Thank you. Meanwhile I love your profile pic.

Posted by xangelfishx
You totally missed the point - this is one side of the story and my impression of what you've typed here is that there is more. Of course people on their high horses ALWAYS choose to ignore when I say "I could be wrong". You guys say you're giving another perspective.... but you didn't like the alternative perspective I was giving.

And by the way there is a difference between going to therapy and going on a chat site looking for people to say "oh poor baby......". Her explanation had nothing to do with her question. I'm a psych major and the way she posed her question versus the information she gaves shows she was just looking for people to validate her aspersions of this guy. My point was there's a completely different side to the story that no one here knows.

I don't think you were giving an opinion, it was an accusation. They are different things. The "oh poor baby" interpretation is your own, not my intention at all - unless you are suddenly psychic.

If you are a psych major - there is no way you would have such an overly simplistic and unintellectual take on this. The extent of your psychological analysis was that you think pisces women are drama queens. Also just as a moot point, anyone who posts something on a site like this IS both looking for information, analysis AND to have their feelings validated. That's obvious and human nature.

I like how you say "there's a completely different side to the story that no one here knows." - as though you have a divine understanding of a situation that you don't.

I don't know why you have to be so prickly and argumentative. I'm sure in person you would not be like this and would be a really nice person to chat to.

Hmmmmm......

LMAO Oh Taurguy, joo ees so loco.

Posted by TaurGuy


Hmmmmm......

LOL! I swear, I can just tell that Taurguy would be THE BEST to party with!
*now, back to our regularly scheduled program*

DEFINITELY. ^ Party...let's see, eats, tunes, liquor...OH YEH! TAURGUY. Won't be a proper party without him. 😄

Couldn't you just smell the BULL all over that comment? I did, laughed my buns off.

Posted by venusianbull
DEFINITELY. ^ Party...let's see, eats, tunes, liquor...OH YEH! TAURGUY. Won't be a proper party without him. 😄

Couldn't you just smell the BULL all over that comment? I did, laughed my buns off.

Par-Tayyyy! Ummm, yeah, I could TOTALLY smell the Bull, and all he said was "Hmmmmmm." But, I have a sneaking suspicion that I agree with him all the way! LMAO!

LMAO Ain't nuthin' sneaky 'bout it! Me too as far as that goes. I adore how we just 'get' each other. Works for this heifer. Now...about this party. It's rather hard inviting someone who leaves for days ( weeks ) at a stretch and just waltzes in, drops a bomb and vanishes without so much as a 'by your leave' *cutting eyes at Taurguy for some unknown reason*....

"unless you are suddenly psychic"

I'm not "suddenly" psychic - I AM psychic. I've been doing readings for people here for a long time...go check out the metaphysical board. I didn't mention it because I was trying to give the alternative perspective as diplomatically as I could and allow you the benefit of the doubt but the fact is YES you are just looking for sympathy and drama - and that is why I answered you the way I did. I am psychic and I am an empath and I know exactly what you were doing when you started this thread and I find it distasteful.

The end, have a nice day 🙂

Haha USC/VB you guys kick ass... And VB I know... *drooping head and puppy dog eyes* I'zz sorry.... 😉

I read about 80% of these posts. I will say that I am a Taurus and am now dating a Taurus that I had dated years ago. Why did we break up? Well, not so much break up as he stopped talking to me. Long story short... I wasn't able to handle everything that was in my life and became depressed. Sadly, I think it was focusing too much on my relationship and missing him and not taking care of my shit. Before you know it, everything becomes too much. Family life, school, money. We are ironically now in a committed relationship. He admitted that he was a jerk and didn't know how to handle what was going on. He also said that he has thought about me since we first met years ago. I believe him. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me and wants to make me happy. I think sometimes taurus men (or men in general) just might not know how. We were terrible communicators on the real stuff. Movies, music, fun stuff. No problem. We still have to work on communicating successfully, but I'm a bit better at waiting and not being so emotional and he's better at listening to me talk. I still feel he doens't handle the ripples of life well. Sometimes I think he's a brat and selfish. He is. He has admitted as much. But, I know he cares for me. He wouldn't be with me if he didn't. I truly believe that... he would be alone than be with someone just to be with someone. I'm the same way. I have learned to relax and take care of my emotional needs. It's hard. Some days are harder than others. He's realistic and emotions (depression, negative,etc) don't carry real weight/meaning to him. You have mom issues... then why don't you talk to her. Work problems...talk to your boss. Compartments. It's black and white. Being a Taurus myself, I don't know how I'm so more emotional than him. He makes life seem so easy.