Standing on the deciding line - Walk or Wait!?

Desperate for advice-will try to keep this as brief as possible.
Met Taurus man online now 1.5years ago. I am Scorp Female and can't seem to break-free from him. My feelings for him are deep-more than I have felt for anyone since my marriage ended.
He has been slow and hesitate from the start-seems to be a true Taurus.
Then first meeting was kinda planned (he has very little free time as he works shift work and when he's off he has his kids(2)) He said he may have time between sports and kids but wasn't sure. He messaged later and said he would have a short time-I had fallen asleep and missed his msg 😢 He was deeply upset by this and then refused to meet me for so long. I apologized so much and when it comes up I still mention how horrible I feel. He said it made him realize he should focus on work and kids and he had been looking for casual only but he liked me more than that but he doesn't have time for more.
For almost a year I tried to convince him to meet me-always a no and eventually maybes.
Then there was a couple times we almost did-miscommunication and limited time prevented it. Then breaks(break meaning not much to no texting) here and there-after a long break he was back and we did finally meet! For a quick coffee but it was great. We continued to talk and then fast forward 6mths-a couple breaks again and then a second meeting at my home. Was last minute and short. I had my kid but he was asleep-I would never and have never let any man into my home when my kid was there. We seem to be very comfotable with each other and it was a great time(short though) There was no sex but there was some nudity 🙂 There was a slight convo about trying to find more time.
Then holiday season came and both busy etc. I didn't expect much-we have talked but not a ton and very brief.
Sometimes I love the slowness bc I need that!! And then sometimes I think I'm being played-but this is one hell of a long game if that is the case.
So I guess my question is - does he actually like me or what? I still live my life and do what I want to but how long should I continue to hold out hope for anything?

Have you played mind games on him? Be honest.I'm kind of involved with a scorp male and you guys give off so many mixed signals, we taureans don't like being messed around, its a HUGE put off. He sounds hesitant As to whether he should put time and effort into a relationship to you. You need to be clear with him of what you want. If you want a relationship, say it. If you only want sex, say it. If you want to be friends, say it. We don't get hints easily. It better if you're straight up with us, well be straight up with you.

But he likes you, cause taurus won't even bother with people were not attracted to emotionally or physically.

I have a few questions?

1) Is he a single full-time parent or a part-time parent?
2) How far do the two of you live from each other?
3) Did he intitiate sex with you (although there wasn't any)?
4) Did he inititate a kiss with you?
5) How long ago was his break up? And what reasons were given for the break-up?

Truescorp,

walk. don't wait... these bull men can't fix their mind sometimes. Just be a woman who have courage to say
before hitting the road.

Omg.some bulls can't decide. really. I don't have idea if they are just afraid to say hurting words or
just taking their chances in the future. false hope.

deelia: I don't feel like I have played mind games but I have most definitely hesitated so I suppose that can seem like a game. I can't read him half the time so I pull back often bc I sometimes feel like he is playing games with me.

TaursBull1977:
1) Is he a single full-time parent or a part-time parent? - he is 50/50 for the most part - he works shift work: 4 on 4 off so when not working has the kids
2) How far do the two of you live from each other? We are about 40mins away from each other - normal where we live - small towns etc. I am about 25mins from where he works
3) Did he intitiate sex with you (although there wasn't any)? There was no actual sex but we did other sexual things. I'd say we both knew it was going to happen so not sure to say who intitiated it per-say. I was the one to move things into my bedroom.
4) Did he inititate a kiss with you? He intitiated the kiss for sure - always said he would and I was actually surprised he didn't when we first met.
5) How long ago was his break up? And what reasons were given for the break-up? His separation was 2 years ago now. It had only been a few months when we first started talking. He said they just fell out of love. He's also made many comments about keeping things fun and interesting so I believe things may of been extremely boring prior to his split.
TaurusBull1977 - I have read many posts of yours on here and would really love your feed-back on this.

Yeah TB has a great way of questioning and getting the relevant info of a story out... She was trained by the secret service you know 😉

M143 - I'm on the line but having a hard time deciding. Once I walk I will be forever gone so I mull things over for an eternity first. I really believe he is good one but the timing may not be good for us.

AgentP911 - Haha! I think insight from a secret service trained Bull is just what I need 😉

Posted by TrueScorp12
M143 - I'm on the line but having a hard time deciding. Once I walk I will be forever gone so I mull things over for an eternity first. I really believe he is good one but the timing may not be good for us.

AgentP911 - Haha! I think insight from a secret service trained Bull is just what I need 😉

No one says it's easy.. specially scorpio people. It's just really really hard. We love people deeply.
and sometimes we just wear mask and disguise it doesn't matter when they leave but the truth is we are
dying and crying inside... arghhh.

M143 - So hard and yes we feel so deeply. I think that is a curse most of the time bc I have yet to find another person that feels as deep as I do. I wear my strong-side mask every single day! Haha. Arghhhhh is right!

Decision made - walking!
I believe we may of helped each other when needed but neither of us seems to want to share true feelings or chase the other and so I walk.
I have done this one other time and when he reappeared all went back to the same. This time will be final! Or so I hope it will be 🙂

Posted by TrueScorp12
Decision made - walking!
I believe we may of helped each other when needed but neither of us seems to want to share true feelings or chase the other and so I walk.
I have done this one other time and when he reappeared all went back to the same. This time will be final! Or so I hope it will be 🙂

You'll be fine soon. Stay focus to your life for progress.. Good luck.

Thanks for the support guys! I need it 🙂

Trying to move on - harder than I thought it would be 😢 Back online and trying to meet new people but seeing him on there as well is really tough. Hurts my insides.
Shouldn't of let it go on so long - beating myself up over that bc I knew it would end with me hurt. Reluctantly hopeful still but definitely hardened now.

It's not even been two weeks yet. No need to be so hard on yourself. This comes from someone who can also be too hard on self!

Maybe give the dating a rest for a while. After my disaster a few months ago I put dating on the back burner. It's taken until recently to start to genuinely feel better about stuff and see that the dude I had a disaster with is a bit of a knob!

Hardening up or treading more careful can be good. I'd say I'm taking this year to concentrate on work stuff and to think about what is and isn't important in relationships etc. Kinda having a life review!

Posted by AgentP911
It's not even been two weeks yet. No need to be so hard on yourself. This comes from someone who can also be too hard on self!

Maybe give the dating a rest for a while. After my disaster a few months ago I put dating on the back burner. It's taken until recently to start to genuinely feel better about stuff and see that the dude I had a disaster with is a bit of a knob!

Hardening up or treading more careful can be good. I'd say I'm taking this year to concentrate on work stuff and to think about what is and isn't important in relationships etc. Kinda having a life review!

Funny you say that bc I've been reviewing things lately as well. I wish I knew how not to be so hard on myself - I still struggle with that one.
I agree - treading very carefully these days and I think it is good. I'm talking to a couple nice guys but I may take a longer break from the site - I hadn't been on for months in hopes that things with the Taurus guy might finally become anything! Haha.
I always put pressure on myself to move on faster then I should - I'm more affected by this guy than I thought I would be but I did it to myself. Yet another lesson learned. Lol

Yeah same here. I was more affected than I should have been but a few months on and it's easier to see things differently now but better to have taken a chance and regret it a little later than to have never chanced it at all. If the guy is being a knob at the start then it's rarely going to get much better. It's just not a match.

I really hate it when people say 'work on yourself' because it implies you're broken and need to be fixed but make other stuff more of a priority instead. For me, it's getting some work things in place which I want to give my time to. I don't want to meet anyone and then have endless rounds of guessing games which distracts me from work. I just don't have the time and energy to dedicate to something or someone else right now. Plus I think it's important to try and give some thought to what is and what is not important in a person. What do I want from them and what can I offer to them. All that kind of shit really. Even if Daniel Craig pitched up on my doorstep in his James Bond suit and wanted to take me for a beer I'd have to tell him to come back in at least six months time!!

Whatever is happening in your life at the mo just make it that priority and focus, and maybe set some goals or complete something and use the time wisely. You're probably not in the best position or frame of mind to offer your 'best self' to someone right now. You might be in a few months or however long it takes but you'll know because you'll start to see and feel differently about stuff.

Posted by AgentP911
It's not even been two weeks yet. No need to be so hard on yourself. This comes from someone who can also be too hard on self!

Maybe give the dating a rest for a while. After my disaster a few months ago I put dating on the back burner. It's taken until recently to start to genuinely feel better about stuff and see that the dude I had a disaster with is a bit of a knob!

Hardening up or treading more careful can be good. I'd say I'm taking this year to concentrate on work stuff and to think about what is and isn't important in relationships etc. Kinda having a life review!

Good on you!

Personally, I find relationships to be trivial in nature and often more drama than they are worth. I just don't have the energy or the patience anymore to expend on something that shouldn't have transpired in the first place. A lot of people, especially women are so concerned with the prospect of being alone that they often times ignore themselves to satisfy someone else thinking it will make everything alright but in reality, doesn't.

I love being alone, I prefer it, actually. The only downside is that I started to lose what came naturally to me as a Bull due to lack of human interaction. For me, humans always disappoint and I'd rather not even bother.

Posted by AnomalousBull

Posted by AgentP911
It's not even been two weeks yet. No need to be so hard on yourself. This comes from someone who can also be too hard on self!

Maybe give the dating a rest for a while. After my disaster a few months ago I put dating on the back burner. It's taken until recently to start to genuinely feel better about stuff and see that the dude I had a disaster with is a bit of a knob!

Hardening up or treading more careful can be good. I'd say I'm taking this year to concentrate on work stuff and to think about what is and isn't important in relationships etc. Kinda having a life review!

Good on you!

Personally, I find relationships to be trivial in nature and often more drama than they are worth. I just don't have the energy or the patience anymore to expend on something that shouldn't have transpired in the first place. A lot of people, especially women are so concerned with the prospect of being alone that they often times ignore themselves to satisfy someone else thinking it will make everything alright but in reality, doesn't.

I love being alone, I prefer it, actually. The only downside is that I started to lose what came naturally to me as a Bull due to lack of human interaction. For me, humans always disappoint and I'd rather not even bother.

click to expand

Lol the guy who is a bit of a knob is from near your neck of the woods. Would you go give him a kick up the arse for me please? 😉

Yeah I know what you mean regarding the drama and effort. Sometimes being alone is good. At least you can't argue with yourself!

I couldn't agree more with both of you actually!
Not working on myself but just focusing on me and what I want and what I can offer in general. To be my best self as you said AgentP.
AnomalousBull - For me, humans always disappoint and I'd rather not even bother. I agree with this +100. Humans rarely live up to what I expect from them and I'm always disappointed. I still bother for now but less and less as time goes on.

Expect less = less disappointment = easier to deal with.

I'm sure Buddha had a more eloquent way of putting it...

Expect less = less disappointment = easier to deal with.

I'm sure Buddha had a more eloquent way of putting it...

Posted by AgentP911
Expect less = less disappointment = easier to deal with.

I'm sure Buddha had a more eloquent way of putting it...

So true! I'm working on having lower expectations or none. It's hard to do.

Have you tried punching him? That way he KNOWS you're interested.

Posted by AgentP911

Lol the guy who is a bit of a knob is from near your neck of the woods. Would you go give him a kick up the arse for me please? 😉

Yeah I know what you mean regarding the drama and effort. Sometimes being alone is good. At least you can't argue with yourself!

Uh oh, what city? Anytime I'm in this type of situation it turns out I know the douche or have at least encountered him in passing. Lots of douches and knobs in my neck of the woods.

Actually, I see people arguing with themselves all the time in public, I've tried in vain and have thus been unsuccessful. I feel a bit jelly, why do they get to be special and not me? LOL.

Posted by TrueScorp12
I couldn't agree more with both of you actually!
Not working on myself but just focusing on me and what I want and what I can offer in general. To be my best self as you said AgentP.
AnomalousBull - For me, humans always disappoint and I'd rather not even bother. I agree with this +100. Humans rarely live up to what I expect from them and I'm always disappointed. I still bother for now but less and less as time goes on.

I wish it could be different, I mean everyone wants to have a fairy tale life but it just never ends up that way in real life. I don't think anyone starts out life as wanting to be alone, but sometimes it's better that way. My mother was right, she told me all the time growing up that no woman would love me more than her, she gave birth to me so she put up with my complicated ways. however other females would be less forgiving. lol.

Posted by AnomalousBull

Posted by TrueScorp12
I couldn't agree more with both of you actually!
Not working on myself but just focusing on me and what I want and what I can offer in general. To be my best self as you said AgentP.
AnomalousBull - For me, humans always disappoint and I'd rather not even bother. I agree with this +100. Humans rarely live up to what I expect from them and I'm always disappointed. I still bother for now but less and less as time goes on.

I wish it could be different, I mean everyone wants to have a fairy tale life but it just never ends up that way in real life. I don't think anyone starts out life as wanting to be alone, but sometimes it's better that way. My mother was right, she told me all the time growing up that no woman would love me more than her, she gave birth to me so she put up with my complicated ways. however other females would be less forgiving. lol.

click to expand

So true - fairy tales seem so great if only we were told from a young age that it doesn't happen that way. Smart mother you have 🙂 I think a lot depends on whether you want to settle as well - no one person can be everything someone wants! I just don't think it's possible.

North from where you are. I've pm'd your so you can tell me how much of a knob he is 😉

@truescorp and @M143 i agree with you on this true, deep, and genuine feelings of love for a person. The feels just cut soo deep that when they leave we try to face it head on with our strong side mask but deep inside it hurts like hell to even pretend it dont hurt that much.

In a scorp-taurus relationship here and we're trying again for the 2nd time around. There's just too much pull we couldnt get rid of each other even if we tried.

Posted by INTJBull
I know you've already made your decision to walk & I'm not trying to change your mind or make you second guess but I did have to share that my child's father is a Taurus, as am I, & it took us 2 years of talking on the phone & chatting on message boards before we ever met. I didn't even know what he looked like for 2 years 😄 So yeahhhh Bulls move slow is an understatement.

I'm not usually into slow but need it so that's why I stuck it out for so long. At this point we have not chatted in over a month (as I walked and have not reached out) and he has not reached out either. I think about him everyday still and wish I could vacate him from my mind but this is proving quite difficult. He has come back after long periods of no commiunication before so I wonder if he will and if he does what will I do?!?! I wish I knew. At this time I am just trying to focus on myself and my kid and trying so hard to get this man off my mind! SIGH! Might be the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. The wonder if he felt what I did/do and the hope that he may come back at some point is what I am having a hard time letting go of. Will take much more time than I thought initially.