Taurus Man and No Sex—

Hi guys! I'm a 38 year old Capricorn woman and I met a 43 year old Taurus man online 2 months ago and we instantly clicked. I was out of the country a few weeks and we talked on Tango hours every day. We both stated on our profile and face to face we are looking for marriage and he even told me that he thought I was someone he can live with the rest of his life. So, when we finally met in person after a month, there was instant attraction. We started to make out (kisses and feeling on each other) and I didn't want to make a mistake of having sex prematurely so I stopped us and told him that we shouldn't have sex unless we take it to a committed level. He agreed and said he's kinda glad we didn't but said it wouldn't have changed how he felt about me. Over this last month we've grown closer BUT had many arguments, he's been a bit controlling and possessive and it made me be more aggressive and expressive. He stated that I need to let him "lead" and I need to "chill out" because he doesn't like me being a smart ass. He moves slow and I move fast and he doesnt like that and he says it makes him feel that Im trying to manipulate him...WTF— Anyway, when we ARE around each other, he almost has a hard-on when I try and kiss him as we depart----but he never pressures me to have sex. Now we don't even tongue kiss. He's been a bit distant but always returns my calls and we have late night chats...but he says I can be a bit of a dram queen (Moon in Leo,,,lol) Well, last night I was out drinking with girls (I wasn't drunk) and called him and told him I wanted to come over and tuck him in. He told me to go home and call him. I did and he then told me that we should not have sex until we get to that level. I though Taurus' LOVE sex---its been 2 months and my Mars in Scorpio side is HORNY...what is going through his head and when will we finally become intimate? Honestly, Im quite attractive and Ive never had a man turn me down so he actually turned me on because he did? LOL HELP TAURUS MEN...THANK YOU

He's probably nervous or feels pressure with all the waiting and tension built up. I personally hate planned sex and know other Taurus men who feel this way. If you want to be intimate, it should start from an intimate evening, not a phone call. Once aroused (as you say he gets), his instincts will take over. Don't even talk about it. Plan time alone together. Good food, wine, music, clothing with soft/silky texture, perfume, etc. A sensual massage on top of that should be enough to get any bull aroused. Accidentally brush up against him, followed with a fake-surprised "Ooooh, are you getting aroused?", then unzip and remove. If he stops you at this point, he might be gay. LOL. I really respect that you told him you wanted to wait, and both should be committed first. I'm sure he does too. Caps have so much class. Sounds like he wants a lot of control in the relationship though. Are you willing to give it? Most Cap women I know, if they are not outright control freaks, demand equality in a relationship and hate any type of chauvinism.

Yeah, they say you people don't give two shits about foreplay. Unfortunately for you, if this is true, you're not getting any because foreplay IS AN ABSOLUTE NECESSITY FOR MOST OF US.

I told my Taurus Im waiting too, but theres been a perfect opportunity or two for something to happen and....nothing. i honestly think we are both too mental and in our heads in the moment. No letting go whatsoever.

So true. Foreplay for me is the best part....Ex-wife wanted to always jump right into sex. Hated it. To me, a woman's naked body is like a feast spread out on a banquet table, and I have to experience every curve, corner, and crevice - take it all in through as many senses as possible before we go at it.

When people ask me about my lingerie fetish, I say it's because it's sexy, and the knowledge of what's barely covered makes watching it come off as she moves her curves teasingly OR taking it off of her is like unwrapping the greatest present ever. And that's just one part for me. 😆

Thank you guys for your quick replies---and I also like what TaurusLovesScorpio wrote too---and yes, being a Cap I do value equality and as I result a week or so ago---I confronted and told him that it makes me feel nervous that he was being so possessive and controlling of my life, whereabouts, etc....and just so you know...he's a double Taurus moon and sun---after that---he chilled out a bit and has been distant. He SAYS because he's disappointed in how I have been acting----being a smart ass, manipulative, etc....but that's because I check him on HIS behavior...the last week or so I feel that I have been initiating the calls, texts etc...and he responds---just not as fast---so last couple of days I stopped initiating and he hasn't called or texted...I REALLY care about him---we have a lot in common and have similar goals...what should I do—

oh and MilkySoft----more possessive after sex? WOW...lol but thank you for the heads up

What are you willing to sacrifice to be with him, why are you willing to sacrifice it, and is he going to do the same. In the end, every single person regardless of their sign are driven primarily by impulse. No thought is put into many relationships, because we can't pick who we're attracted to. However, once things initiate, the idea behind dating is to see if you truly give a shit about the person you inadvertently became interested in. This is the time to make decisions. What is there to gain? What are you willing to tolerate?

Great questions 2N3R? I will evaluate them?

Sooooo MilkySoft----since you said that you accept that its not going to work out-----do you just withdraw and disappear? Kinda selfish huh? He DID say that he was disappointed and thinks we're not gonna work out --- but he always said he REALLY wanted, NEEDED, me to be the one...being a Cap you're right, we are not ass kissers but I have found that these last few weeks---that's exactly what I have been doing and he responds to that---BUT I don't wanna make it a habit---I need him to feel secure about me...oh yeah---in our last conversation HE said that he is GUARDED with me in order to not get hurt or feel that I can run over him....am I that intimidating to him? uuug...I feel that I can't win and i should just let go....uuuugggg we are both too old for this shit...lol

Never change yourself for the sake of another; if a person really loves you, they would accept your "flaws" if that's what they truly are.

THANK YOU 2N3R

Actually I think compromise will do you both some good.
Discussing where he should bend a little and where you should bend a little.

It seems his mind is made on the relationship and anything you do to pursue or keep it alive will be on YOU.

Saying he's disappointed its not going to work seems pretty final imho. Whats said after that seems to be the feelings he still has, but im not convinced decisions are made by feelings alone with either sign...so Idk

But if he is already showing signs of being ready to give up or ready to throw in the towel then who is to say this will or will not become a pattern? Then that screws with your security.

I agree with LunarMaiden, but when together these two signs can be difficult imo and experience.

Ok guys update ---- he is being cold and a complete jerk...I've asked him if we can talk (it was close to 11pm last night)...he ignores and sends a text instead sends text asking "whats up" and then when I asked if we could talk---he states "about?"---and I wrote "about us and asked if we are ok?" and he wrote "of course, we are cool..." and I wrote "good---I just want us to get back to a happy place" and then he wrote "smh" and I wrote "smh? why?" and he wrote "you just don't get it"...and I said "get what? can we talk about it...Im confused"...and he never responed---I AM DONE---I'm hurt and I pissed...

Well Milky said not to talk about it anymore.

My Taurus friend said that to me before..."you just dont get it". No m-f, I dont get silence lol.

But if he said the two of you were in a good place or cool, then no need to keep pushing. Believe him and drop it...theres no need for "I want us to get back to a happy place again" regardless of his actions. If he sits on something and later blows up, that will be on him because youve tried to bring the issues to the surface and talk them thru.

Just calm down. He may get back to you. I know you say you are done but give yourself a time frame...maybe two weeks?, and if you dont hear from him within that time then begin moving on.

OR maybe the "we wont work" was final, and him saying you just dont get it was his way of saying there is no happy place to get back to. Who knows, but I say no more texts...give two weeks, and if still silent move on.

Thanks Inana04---and if that's what Taurus' do...I'm not sure if I can hang in there---lol...and he FINALLY called a couple of hours ago and I didn't pick up because I wasn't in the mood and he sent a text...i MAY call him back today...I just don't like the silence and distance and the NON talking, communication type of sh...and thanks MilkySoft on more insight---this is my first time dealing with a Taurus and WOW...what a ride and you are right...sometimes I feel like Im talking to a wall...when he gets mad...he explodes and then ignore.....I CAN"T imagine what would happen if we had sex...makes me not ever want to have sex with him....my friend thinks that he's probably frustrated that we haven't had sex yet...lol

Thank you Schneaky....I did his chart and not only is his Sun and Moon in Taurus----his Mars and Mercury is too and his Venus is in Aries...soooooo I'm dealing with a 4x Taurus--000 OMG... He started texting me out the blue last night because I left him a sweet message yesterday morning and then he texted and asked me what it said and I told him to check his voice mail and he damanded I text it to him and I said I was driving and it was too lobg to text and as soon as I was about to text "give me a se Im parking at home" he texted something he has never done before he wrote "You are playing games...here you go with this manipulative stuff again, all I ask is that you text me a message...so tell you what...Im putting you on 2 days of no contact and if you keep being a smart ass I will do this every time. You have to stop doing what you want and do what I tell you" THE NERVE ---- as he was texting me that I sent him the message he wanted at the same time and after I read that...I DID tell him that I dont appreciate him putting me on punishment like Im a little kid because I don't do what you tell me too immediately...its abusive and selfish...he wrote back " He wrote back "keep talking shot and I will extend it--now say one last smart comment...try me? By now---Im laughing and Im not taking this serious and my Moon in Scorpio comes out and I wrote "i love you too"---I didnt hear anything for ten minutes and he ended with "3 days!!!or we can do 4...or a week or FOREVER...learn to keep your mouth closed with me..."...I just laughed it off and went to bed....Im no longer gonna take his tactics seriously...and as a matter of fact---this may sound sick on my part but I think our sex would be INCREDIBLE...lol and Im no longer going to hold out!!!lol What is his problem?1

He sounds crazy. Typical.

Idk girl. I personally dont think you should take what he says lightly and it may really push him that you dont take him seriously....atleast pretend to.

My friend "jokingly" made a threat. I was VERY hurt by it at first, then EXTREMELY turned on, probably the most Ive ever been...*holds head in shame.* But thats just the crazy in me as well, and I need to get to the bottom of it. At the end of the day, the behaviour is not good. Maybe he is similar to my friend because Im starting to personally think my friend may be turned on by the whole dominance/submission type thing...like in our situation it would be the only thing to get him out of his shell...if he exert some kind of dominance and power over me, and in all honesty, get me out of my shell aswell. We are two extremely guarded, repressed, sexually frustrated people. Im just not trying to open up a can of worms here and a floodgate of crazy emotions from either of us, so Im always thinking about tomorrow and the consequences.

But it sounds like he is slowly trying to dominate you...possibly to do whatever for his tension, and look...you seem to like it.

I havent heard from mine in five days. He texted yesterday at around 1:30pm, so I texted back 5 mins later "hey"...complete silence. Still havent heard anything. Games.

All I can tell you is good luck and think wisely about whatever decision you make.

Wow...I didn't realize that this was common behavior with Taurus males. My ex Taurus tried very lightly to have some type of control but he saw that it wasn't working. In bed I did allowed him to dominate me. He picked up on my Capricorn control freak thing and voiced to me that I would love being dominated for once. I was very submissive to him in sex only (which I did love). He didn't like talking about things but I knew he was frustrated that he couldn't dominate me outside of bed....

Good luck

Posted by miimii
Wow...I didn't realize that this was common behavior with Taurus males. My ex Taurus tried very lightly to have some type of control but he saw that it wasn't working. In bed I did allowed him to dominate me. He picked up on my Capricorn control freak thing and voiced to me that I would love being dominated for once. I was very submissive to him in sex only (which I did love). He didn't like talking about things but I knew he was frustrated that he couldn't dominate me outside of bed....

Good luck

Oh wow. I guess this is part of the Cap/Taurus dynamic.

See, thats what would scare me. There is an off/on switch that Im not sure he'd understand. I would only be completely submissive if we had sex. I could see me being "extra" just so he wouldnt think he could dominate me all the time smh. My Taurus friend is young too, so idk how well all of that would click with him. *sigh*

From first post. If he doesnt like you to be smart dump him, he can hide things, try to dominate all of you and finally hurt you in the end.

Sounds like a challenge for Taurus men. He wants to see how far he can go with the domination and control. Seems like fun to him.

The Taurus I knew used to say stuff like cussing isn't ladylike but he would call me a smart ass.

Inana04---yes---I also think he is a bit crazy and if this is typical...I don't take him seriously, anymore and I agree---i think he IS "trying" to control me---he sent a text this morning in terms of that...and yes, sounds like yours is playing games too...mine do that too--sometimes he calls just to see if I answer the phone and then says sorry...didnt want anything.... and PISCVIRAGUAFISH---I agree---he can kiss my a....cause Im not bowing down to someone just for the sake of it...especially someone who CANT even communicate HIS feelings and thoughts, appropriately... and MiiMii I would give him ALL control in bed but sounds like we will never get to that point if he keeps acting like this and I also sense his frustration of not being able to totally control me... and you're right also LostPisces...he hates and gets jealous when Im with friends or hanging with my family--- I'm going to evaluate this ---I can't see long term with this guy and Im starting to think that even short term may not be a good thing either.... I wish I can just get sex and run because Im sure at least ---THAT will be great...lol ..THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR RESPONSES

"I wish I can just get sex and run because Im sure at least ---THAT will be great."

Omg, me too LoL.

You know what guys...now he is being ridiculous--- I just told him that I will not tolerate his controlling ways---im not a child who deserves to put on punishment and it hurts my feelings to be treated like this...HE TEXTED--- "Your tantrums are disrespectful, disappointing and inappropriate for a woman in her 30s. You better get a grip on yourself and your emotional instability...I am serious....I will say repeat...DO NOT EVER step to me like this again...Im now up to 4 days of NO CONTACT...you will LEARN to not do what YOU want to do when it come to ME....YOU are on MY terms".... guess what guys, I have NEVER dealt with this behavior....he makes me nervous and he will never hear from me again.... DO you think he will reach out again? If he does....he will get silence....

DO you think he will reach out again? If he does....he will get silence....



Yes he will reach out again. When a Taurus is interested and the possessive behavior has started he will continue to try to communicate. I left mine alone after he let his childs mother move in and he still contacts me almost daily to "see how I'm doing". He also misses me and loves me still smh...

But we had sex a lot so I'm not sure about your situation...he was my first Taurus

Posted by SunCap
You know what guys...now he is being ridiculous--- I just told him that I will not tolerate his controlling ways---im not a child who deserves to put on punishment and it hurts my feelings to be treated like this...HE TEXTED--- "Your tantrums are disrespectful, disappointing and inappropriate for a woman in her 30s. You better get a grip on yourself and your emotional instability...I am serious....I will say repeat...DO NOT EVER step to me like this again...Im now up to 4 days of NO CONTACT...you will LEARN to not do what YOU want to do when it come to ME....YOU are on MY terms".... guess what guys, I have NEVER dealt with this behavior....he makes me nervous and he will never hear from me again.... DO you think he will reach out again? If he does....he will get silence....

If he reaches out again, call it like you see it; tell him that besides being a worthless piece of shit, he's also a disgusting chauvinist pig with double standards typical of misogynists. Also, you're not his daughter, it's fucked up that he's treating you as if you were a kid. Also, the last word you should say once you're finished is P-R-I-N-C-E-S-S.

THANK YOU 2N3R WHAT A JERK....and I feel so stupid that I was even calling and texting TRYING to make the relationship work...uuuggg

I wonder if he's a Chris Brown woman beater type.

Lucky for you a sexual bond did not happen or who knows what kind of abuse would be next for you. Chalk it up to experience.

That was my thought too tiki33....I think if I stayed and tolerated his "madness" he would have eventually physically abused me...and when he used to get soooo heated with me for no reason...I used to tell him how scared I was that because he got soooooo mad...I thought he would hit me...He used to say "I never hit a woman"...that's hard to believe...hindsight...he did used to tell me how he wanted to control me but that was when we first me and I laughed it off---future reference everybody----pay attention to what people say...lol...And yes, i think if we bonded sexually---who know what would have happened...uuuggg...I just hate all the mental abuse he put me through...Im more mad at myself because he me thinking it was ME.....

and to add....in the beginning he used to be open about his emotions saying things like "I miss you...I can see myself with you the rest of my life...etc."(all on Skype of course)...and when we met in person he stated "I am soooo attracted to you..." but after that I used to ask him when he started to withdraw and be distant...I would ask "what are you feeling and thing"...and he would just pause on the phone or if I saw him in person he would say "Don't ask me that? Cause i feel like you are trying to manipulate me..."...WTF...toward the end...he could communicate...it was like i was talking to a brick wall and he could not look at me in person without getting frustrated for some reason,.....uuggg

I wonder what his chart was like...just to compare it to my friends chart.

My friend is mild mannered and his venus in gemini makes him a bit bubbly and friendly but still...ill sense something from time to time.

I sensed something weird from another Taurus I use to work with, who was nothing but nice....like a big ole teddy bear. I still got a strange whiff of crazy in a vision of mine. Weird.

Dont look back or beat yourself up about it. Its good you didnt let it go further.

Inana04 is 4x Taurus---his Sun, Moon, Mercury and Mars is in Taurus and his Venus is in Aries----whats your conclusion? LOL

Are most Taurus' THAT controlling and possessive---when they like someone or dont like someone?

Thank you MilkySoft and schneaky----I REALLY liked this guy and was soooo attracted to him and I wouldnt mind being submissive to him if he wasn't soooo mentally abusive....lol...but yeah...even though I crave him, sexually, which is weird, I better walk away before ge gets dangerous...so far its been two days...no contact from either...we've never been 2 days since we met over 2 months ago...so Im thinking...he's moved on too...will keep you guys posted...xoxo

Posted by schneaky
This gentleman sounds like a Mr Grey wannabe. Quite possibly a dominant who thinks you may be a submissive.

Is that the life style you want? It works for some but it's not everyones cup of tea.

It sounds like you have made the right choice. If you don't wish to have your entire life taken over and ruled by him then you need to walk away now.

No more answering texts or answering calls.

Make sure you have trusted friends on speed dial, an angry immature dominant bull can get quite intimidating.

Not wishing to scare you but it happens.

Best of luck.

Please do not insult us real gentlemen by calling that worthless piece of shit one. >_>

Dont worry 2N3R --- I wont disrespect myself like that --- too many fish in the sea...xoxoox...