Taurus \/ Virgo - Confusing Rejection

Taurus \/ Virgo - Confusing Rejection

Explain please Virgo.

This is a long story, but a pretty crazy interesting one.

So in my prior thread I talked about hooking up with the Taurus sister of a Pisces from my Church group.
Long story short, she was distraught and tried to justify it to herself putting blame on me
I wrote her a poem, and she came around. We started talking and then she invited me to study.
I studied with her, she made fun of m e and I reciprocated, then I took interest in her project and fixed and improved it for her...when we finished...then I walked her to her car, and she offered me a ride to mine. I asked her if she wanted to hang out afterwards and she said yes. Okay so thsi is the heart broken Christian girl who lost her Virginity who is doing this.
I got back to her place and we say we're going to watch a movie, go look for the one we ant at redbox, can't find it.
Go back home and put in movie on my PC. She doesn't want to watch movie, so we talk, then go to her bed, and lay down talking. We start making out, then undressed and then basically make out and cuddle for 2 hours, wake up and literally do it for another 3 or 4 hours. She gets aroused and invites me to enter her again, at which point, I start to, but tell her I cannot, because I want her to be chaste as she wished to be.
She hugs on to me, and starts doing this weird Taurus head bury in the chest where she won't look up, which I have to learn as how Taurus women cry, at least this one.

When I go to leave she walks with me, and kisses me, standing in front of the door way, she doesn't want me to go. So she holds on to my shirt, and we make out and hug there, until her bitch CW roomate walks out, and we bashfully disperse.

She IMs me multiple times that day, seemingly out of nowhere about various trivial things.
I ask her if she wants to hang out with em later.
She ends up coming over, and we do house chores together and study. Intermittently, I grab her and kiss her. At one point she is being stubborn me finishing my project, and I pick her up out of her chair carry her to my room and then proceed to make out with her, and then go back to work on Project 15 minutes later.

After I finished, we drink a little, and put on Salsa and I danced with her and then made out with her. Then go to bed. She says she was sore from dancing, because she did so at class earlier, so I unclothe her, and rub and massage her where is sore. Then go to sleep.

In the morning we wake up, and make out for a long time. She doesnt want to

She doesnt want to go to school, but I make her (yes shes 22 years old) and then we have the most loving drawn out kiss I've probably ever had.
She was kneeling on the bed saying she didn't want to leave, and I shouldn't go, and I walked over kneeled down and kissed her holidng her neck then picked her up, and carried her to her clothes. lol.

So then I go to school, and I txt her about hanging out later. No response, she was sleeping or at work.
She responds that can't hang out cuz she's going to KC.
I talk to her online, and she asks me if I'm drinking. I say Yes (It's a Friday and my week off), I ask her if it bothers her, she says not really "but it seems like I drink alot." Then I tell her "If it bothers you, I'll stop, I really care for you, and would hate for you to think less of me for a vice."

She drops a bomb, "I'm sorry Nero, I don't want to hurt you, but I cant lead you on anymore. I'm not as into you as you are to me." Record stops. I don't communicate for 20 mins call her, and she has goes into all these assertions that she was not into me and never was. I am highly confused.

I ask her, how she can offer herself to me, how she can kiss me so passionately, how she can lie with me so lovingly, if she hadn't any emotion for me.

She tells me, it means nothing, then goes to tell me why, "I was sexually abused as a child, and then by my boyfriend's dad last February." I'm silent, "Do you think I'm disgusting."

I have a moment to think, then have the once in a decade Virgo break-downs, where I tell her "No I don't think that," and then tell her stupidly how much I care for her, and that I want to love her. Further, in my naive virgo emotional state, that "I WILL fix her, and this is not a problem, I will make everything better, I swear."

She says "Okay." In this wierd voice.

I proceed to go over to her place after that, partially drunken and thoroughly emotional.


I enter, and talk with her, hold her because I'm paranoid about the whole abuse thing.
Tell her how much I care for her.
She refuses me and says No in her soft welcoming voice.
It goes on. I tell her that I can't help but want her, she tells me she' cant be with me, I ask her why? She says, tell me why you feel so strongly about me. I don't have a reason, it is some sort of curse. I really have no idea why I like this girl so much, I dumped the girl I was seeing just to be with her, on a spur of nowhere.
She says she doesnt need a reason, she just won't.
After much probing, she finally tells me, "I want to go to Heaven, and how can I get there with a partner who rejects God and his love? You don't love God or Jesus."
I deliberate, I tell her, "For you I will go to Church, and if need be I will worship your God."
She replies, "But you wouldn't mean it in your heart."
I get super angry, and tell her "I would KILL GOD, IF YOU ASKED ME TO. I WANT TO LOVE YOU NOT YOUR GOD."
She says, "I cannot be with you."
I go to leave, she runs up "Wait, don't go."
I instinctually grab her and pin her against wall, and say to her, "Kiss me. If all this means nothing then kiss me and prove it."
I move forward and she moves her face and will not.
She goes and sits down and says, "You have been so good to me, better than everyone from before. Youre kind to me and I KNOW you love me but I just can't...[starts crying]."
I sit down and just sort of have my spirit die and walk out and leave.

Find out later she's been telling her sister and this girl from group everything that was going on between us, and they were having like interrogation sessions asking her "Do you really want to be with him?" "Why? He doesn't love God..." Blah blah. I talk to one of them, and they say she did not ever like me, she is just damaged, and all this shit. She needs to get closer to God, not another man.
Then invite me to come back to group and hang out with them.

I don't know WTF is going on. She has Venus in Gemini, does that mean anything?
What would you do if you were me, it has been 5 days and I cannot get her out of my mind.
This is highly irrational and illogical, I know she has problems, and I may not be able to fix them.
I don't want sex, I want to be with her, and I want to repair her.
What is right thing to do?

Posted by sikkario
What is right thing to do?

Let her go. You can NOT "fix" someone. I know it's very chivalrous of you, and I don't doubt that you may love (have love) for her, but I STRONGLY recommend that you move on from this situation. If it's meant to be, and she has time to work through HER issues and heal, then in the (far reaching) future, you two could have a chance. Until then, please do yourself a favor and move on. I'm not a psychiatrist/psychologist, but I don't think anything good can come from this (just given your side of the situation).

Oh sikkario I am so sorry. For your pain, what you are going through. But USC is correct. The girl needs to heal. To be whole for herself first, before she can let anyone in with good intention. Her whole heart. She is in shadow now and cannot see past her own pain. In a way and an unfair one, she perhaps used you to some extent to feel 'clean' again. Reborn. But it was temporary and everything crashed in on her.
She isn't running from you, she's running from herself and conditioning by the church is adding fuel to the fire.
The church, while intentions are good, are only compounding her guilt. Trying to shield her from everything. What she needs is professional help and patience.
I wish I had a magic key for you, but this one will take time and great understanding.

I don't know. My options are.
1)Go back to Catholic group and pretend to be Catholic to see her.
or
2) Forget about it and force her out of my mind.
or
3)Go crazy, and just try to be with her anyways, and probably make a fool of myself and hurt her in the process.
End up with my confidence broken more than it is now.

I'm NOT Catholic anymore, I made my mind once on that. So I think the only answer is number 2.

Posted by venusianbull
the church is adding fuel to the fire.

Absolutely!

Posted by venusianbull
What she needs is professional help and patience.

click to expand

It would do her a world of good!

Good luck!

Posted by sikkario
I don't know. My options are.
1)Go back to Catholic group and pretend to be Catholic to see her.

No - neither one of you will be happy with this option.

Posted by sikkario
2) Forget about it and force her out of my mind.

Yes - hard, but the best option for both of you!

Posted by sikkario


Go crazy, and just try to be with her anyways, and probably make a fool of myself and hurt her in the process.
End up with my confidence broken more than it is now.

No - while it's not going to be easy to move on, that is the best than this option which will only hurt both of you.

Posted by sikkario
So I think the only answer is number 2.

click to expand

Good for you.

You need to heal as well sikkario. You cannot pretend to be something you are not. And you may find that as her healing begins and goes on that she will begin to question her surroundings. Not trying to give you false hope, just to paint a possible scenario.
Keep yourself busy as possible. TRY to keep your mind off of things and try not to dwell. Time, time, time. Every damned thing takes time and it's always the same drivel over and over again. But truly it's as simple as that. And don't rush into anything or kick yourself with what-ifs, why's and all that globber. It serves no purpose. One day at a time.

I felt sloppy when I was with her. My discipline was lacking, and I don't know if she found me to be as believiable as the Church because of that. I think I will just take this passion, which I've awakened, and apply to improvement of self. Before I met her, I was just having spiritless sex and growing more and more bored with my life. I feel invigorated in someways because I let myself be overtaken by this emotion. I want to find a girl to love, I don't want to have sex. I need to become stronger to do this.

"Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body. Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads. "

I'm just going to put on like 30 lbs and not even talk to a girl. Sound healthy? ha.

I'm just going to put on like 30 lbs *of muscle* and not even talk to a girl.
Then caveman her and fix her life.
Sound like a healthy idea?
Maybe it will be her, I'll go say Hi at the Church in a few months.
ha.

*smile* Do what you need to do to get through the day, but do not lose yourself in the process. Ya feeling me?

I suppose. I have just been really fearful of emotion for a long time, and when it erupts and then burns me. I feel right unstable. I need to keep in the Passion or else, it's gonna kill me again.

Love always hurts when it goes awry in some fashion. Whether it's unrequited, two having a falling out, one side souring when the other is strong. It matters not. It all comes down to the same thing. Pain. And it all sucks the big one.
Trust me when I tell you it will not kill you. Just concentrate on one day at a time. And fixate on one thing that gives you joy. Soothes your soul. Something as simple as a falling autumn leaf. A birds call. The sunrise. The sunset. A song that brings peace. ONE THING. And make the time to do that one thing for yourself alone.
Do something you might not normally do. Go out of your way to seek these things out. The important bit is that it is new to you, so that you can see it with fresh eyes. Deeper understanding.
This is for your healing, no one elses.

Posted by venusianbull
Love always hurts when it goes awry in some fashion. Whether it's unrequited, two having a falling out, one side souring when the other is strong. It matters not. It all comes down to the same thing. Pain. And it all sucks the big one.
Trust me when I tell you it will not kill you. Just concentrate on one day at a time. And fixate on one thing that gives you joy. Soothes your soul. Something as simple as a falling autumn leaf. A birds call. The sunrise. The sunset. A song that brings peace. ONE THING. And make the time to do that one thing for yourself alone.
Do something you might not normally do. Go out of your way to seek these things out. The important bit is that it is new to you, so that you can see it with fresh eyes. Deeper understanding.
This is for your healing, no one elses.

Please listen to these words sikaro, because what she writes is the truth!

Sorry - sikkario 🙂 I apologize for not spelling your name right!

I agree with VB and USCTG.
Again,you can't fix her. 😢

She is torn sweetie.between her beliefs and her feelings for you.it's obvious you have strong feelings for each other,but she has to be the one to work this out,you can't do it for her.
let her go for now,it's best for both of you...and in time she may have a change of heart.you can't be what you are not,and neither can she.

man religion sure is stupid.. nutty christian bitches