What Did I get myself into? (Long Read)

I need some real advice. I'm seriously thinking of going to a therapist over this Taurus man. A little background info before I dive in.

This Taurus is 12 years older than me, I'm in my late 20s he's in his 40s. his birthday is May 5, I'm January 4. He has been my cousins friend for over 10 years I have known him for 8 years, been friends with him for 5 and officially dated for 2 years, we are now...I don't know I guess I'm just there.

Before me he had a girlfriend for 7 years, she has 2 preteen girls (they are teens now) they are not his bio wise but that doesn't matter. I used to give him advice on that relationship all the time. Because they would always seem to breakup and he would be so sad about it. He's a good guy so I was always telling him they can work out.

He and his girlfriend had be broken up for a year and he was living with my cousin. me and my cousin are pretty close So I visit a lot. So I always seen my Taurus (Jay). One night in particular he was venting about life and I was giving him advice and he just kissed me. It was the best kiss I ever had. At that time I did have a boyfriend so I told Taurus man I'm loyal to my bf and nothing romantic can happen here. I had feelings but I just stepped back, until I found out my boyfriend had cheated. I wanted to tell me cousin but when I called the house guess who answered? yea...so I told Taurus man everything. He called me a queen and said I didn't deserve it and he was just super sweet. From that night on our relationship started..

Now lets fast forward it's been a year and 10 months in our relationship things are great. he has his moments when he just wants to be alone and everything and I gave him space no problem. He has his own place now but he was always at my apartment but I noticed he started to come less and less. He said he loves me all the time but he was stating to become distant. On a date.. out the blue he says love is complicated. I'm very confused by tat statement and I let him know it. He says it's nothing and just left it there. he then cancelled our next date and when I wanted an explanation he blew up at me. I never had an argment with him so intense. He stopped calling for days. I was so hurt. Of course I go to my cousin who has moved out the state but still talks to him. My cousin is very quiet about the whole thing but he just finally says it. He says "She's back" she lost her job and she needs help so she got in contact with him an they have been talking.

SHE? You mean his ex girlfriend?

AAAAAWWWWWWWW!!nooooooo
she persuaded him.
annnd she has kids..... oh he has no choice but to help....
she doesnt have a family?

Oh no!! The rest of my post has been cut. Hold on this circus is far from over I have more...

So I confronted my guy and he says it's nothing sexual he's just doing it for the kids. He also later says that he can't just erase history. I was angry at that but I just left it alone. The next few months was terrible. Argument after argument and he was gone more. I asked him if he cheated on me but he said no.

A week after my cousin called and told me that my guy is back with her but I told him he's not. My cousin doesn't play around he just said alright and hung up. A few days past and I hear nothing from ny Taurus.

So I tested him that it was over and to leave me alone. The next day he calls and says he has been going through some things. He also said he has feelings for her still but hes in love with me. I didn't believe him I just told him to leave me alone and work it out with her.

Why do you feel you need therapy? This is not as complicated as you think. As you know and your cousin informed you, he is back with this other woman. He probably doesn't want to hurt you and has been stringing you along.

You may not feel 100% about it right now, but leaving him is really the best thing for you. As time passes, you will heal more and more.

Don't wreck your brain trying to figure this out or beat yourself up for trying to figure out what went wrong with you and him.

I would not contact him at all or reply to his mssgs, calls etc for at least a month or two.

Now is the time to become less involved with him and his affairs and more attuned with your own life without him.

He kept sending me I loves you texts over the next week but I didn't respond. 3 weeks had passed and there was no contact so I thought to myself good it's over.

Until that next week he showed up at my apartment. I tried to turn him away but he kept saying he needed to talk to someone. I let him in and started talking about how much he regret things. He says he hates paying all the bills but the kids need him. In my head I kept saying he's full of shit but what did I say out loud? My dumbass said I missed him. He told me he loves me and he kissed me.

The next day we go on a date and I have a real talk with him. He finally admit s they are back together and they live with him. To hear those words I had a fit. I left and just told him to leave me alone.

During the next month I tried to date and talk to other guys but none of them are like him. I missed him but I would not call him. He out the blue calls me and he asks how I'm doing and such. I said I'm just fine.
He asked if I was seeing anyone. I said yea then he hung up.

The next day he brought me lunch to my job. I thanked him and we talked. He said her daughter s are bad and he's tired of them beingthere. I told him all of this is on him and that fool had the nerve to get upset with me. But he asks about my boyfriend and I was very vague.

Over the next week he's just texting me sweet things and I finally just tested him back. So we have been talking. His car broke down and he asked me to pick him up from work. I did and he suggested we do dinner before I dropped him off. After dinner as I was driving home at the stop light he pulled me in for one of the best kisses ever and he told me he never got over me and he loves me.

I told him I love him too and I slept with him again .

So this is our status now. He has a live in girlfriend who was his ex and now I'm his ex who still sees him on the side. I'm so stupid

It's it seems confusing please read from my first 3 post together. I kind of just ran everything in. I had so much to say lol.

It's just crazy right now. A part of me feels trapped. Another part just loves him so much. And my brain is like what the fuck is wrong with you just leave.

This guy is no good and a serial cheater. He probably mistreated his ex the same way he is doing you. Did he cheat on her with you??

Either way, by listening to him and sleeping with him, you are just doing yourself a disservice. Don't let this man destroy your self esteem. You deserve better. Just get out now. Do what you have to for to leave his ass alone. Change your number. Tell him to stay away from your job etc. Please move on. Your only in your 20s. Trust you will find better.

Posted by CreativeCap
This guy is no good and a serial cheater. He probably mistreated his ex the same way he is doing you. Did he cheat on her with you??

Either way, by listening to him and sleeping with him, you are just doing yourself a disservice. Don't let this man destroy your self esteem. You deserve better. Just get out now. Do what you have to for to leave his ass alone. Change your number. Tell him to stay away from your job etc. Please move on. Your only in your 20s. Trust you will find better.

No when we started our relationship he wasnt with her. If I knew this was how it was going to turn out I would have never...when we were just friends he seemed like the perfect guy. And I always blamed her when he used to vent about their relationship.

Now I know better.

I was

Oh no...!!! My fellow Cappie, you have to leave this one alone gf. If you don't you will be setting yourself up for a major disappointment. He knows exactly what he is doing and he is getting the best of both worlds with two women. Until his actions show that he loves you meaning, getting them out and realizing he is NOT obligated to helping her his words don't have any meaning. If you continue, you will be second to her (she will be first because she is living with him). He created this mess, not you. You can't give in. You have to stand your ground when you tell him to leave you alone. If not, you will be going around in circles for as long as you allow it.

Posted by CreativeCap
This guy is no good and a serial cheater. He probably mistreated his ex the same way he is doing you. Did he cheat on her with you??

Either way, by listening to him and sleeping with him, you are just doing yourself a disservice. Don't let this man destroy your self esteem. You deserve better. Just get out now. Do what you have to for to leave his ass alone. Change your number. Tell him to stay away from your job etc. Please move on. Your only in your 20s. Trust you will find better.

this is the best advice i've ever heard. just cut loose and run. you're young. he just wants the best of both worlds, trying to manipulate you.

He's a lying, cheating, manipulative prick who knows exactly what he is doing. He's older and should know better. You're young but clearly are not stupid as you have ignored him before. Stick on ignoring him, he's soooo not the perfect guy. Perfect guys do not exist but you want a guy who won't mess you about unlike this one who seems to have made it his mission!! Let him wallow in his own crap which he created. Go out and have fun.

You guys all confirmed what I already knew inside. This isn't a real love is it..no he's using me and I'm letting my heart get in the way of common sense. I have never been one to mess with another woman man but look at me now.

I tell myself that maybe he would leave her but even if that happens he won't leave her alone because every time I tried to move on he would pop back up. She's in her 40's as well. Maybe they belong together. I don't know.

My cousin doesn't even talk to him much no more. I definitely need to permanently break away before he shatters me.

It's like he knows I always eventually give in..

Posted by cancergoddess143
No disrespect to the other posters but Pixxie, ONLY TAKE THE ADVICE OF ANOTHER TAURUS MAN! Not these women on here who have only dealt with a few taurus men and now somehow think they know them all lol. Wait patiently for Taurus man to respond to your post that's where the best advice will come from. Wish you the best _??_

See...spoken from a true girl (Not a classy woman). Was that really necessary? You need to stop it with these childish antics and just go on with your life. This is not your issue nor is ir your post. You could have kept that immature statement to yourself. When do you grow up?

Posted by Iamawinelover

Posted by cancergoddess143
No disrespect to the other posters but Pixxie, ONLY TAKE THE ADVICE OF ANOTHER TAURUS MAN! Not these women on here who have only dealt with a few taurus men and now somehow think they know them all lol. Wait patiently for Taurus man to respond to your post that's where the best advice will come from. Wish you the best _??_

See...spoken from a true girl (Not a classy woman). Was that really necessary? You need to stop it with these childish antics and just go on with your life. This is not your issue nor is ir your post. You could have kept that immature statement to yourself. When do you grow up?

click to expand

Yeah, this Cancer girl thinks she's the Ayatollah of, well, everything! I'm sure there's a rock she needs to scuttle under... Forever!

Posted by cancergoddess143
No disrespect to the other posters but Pixxie, ONLY TAKE THE ADVICE OF ANOTHER TAURUS MAN! Not these women on here who have only dealt with a few taurus men and now somehow think they know them all lol. Wait patiently for Taurus man to respond to your post that's where the best advice will come from. Wish you the best _??_

Who the hell are you, some kind of Taurus expert? Pardon me, but please shut up!

OP, this has nothing to do with him being a Taurus. He is but a messed up 40 year old guy who needs to take some responsible decisions and I think that most of all, he seeks escape and sweet comfort in you. You are young and at the starting point of your life. Most be like a breath of fresh air to him. Don't forget this: you are a treat to him! If he really loves you, he would show respect towards you and to your age and take good care of you.

Get the hell out of that mess, from him ok? Do yourself a huge favor! You are young, live your life. You will find your man who will love you and respect you, if you allow that to happen.

Pull some strength, shake up and think about putting all this to en end. He will try to reach you, but be determined.

Wish you the best 😉

*Must be

Jesus Christ, this idiot is STILL at it.

CancerGoddess143...

Cancer, yes, for eating away at all the good, but she's certainly no Goddess, and the 143 is clearly not indicative of her IQ!

Someone post on here when she's dead.

The OP has already thanked all for advice and concluded this guy is a dickhead. There's no need to continue your drama and bitching, which actually relates to another post, by bringing it onto this post or any others.

Just piss off you silly cunt.

Bleep = c u n t

Damn, they've started to censor that word now too!

Posted by Hotbeefy

Posted by AgentP911
Bleep = c u n t

Damn, they've started to censor that word now too!

You can go to the setting > profile and go all the way down where you read 'filter', in that you can turn it off so you can read the curse words. 🙂

click to expand

Yes!!!!!

Just completed that. Much obliged for the tip. 😉

OP:
Pay very good attention to how these lonely women react and their verbal behavior.... Sad...Very sad... These women are so depressed. I can sense it in their writing, LOL. If you considered not taking their advice, well then you'd be centered out as an enemy to them, haha. My Taurus man and I are reading these posts and are like "damn, these are some pitiful women". He suggested giving you his own advice via personal message, I told him id ask you first. Let me know and I'll have him PM you 🙂

Excellent idea Cancer. Then you can pretend it's your 'Taurus man' really typing and really replying. I'm sure the OP isn't that dumb!

If you read the original post then you will see, as already stated by another member, that this issue has little to nothing to do with astrology and is pretty much about a guy who should know better and a young ish girl who shouldn't fall for his charms. A low down on a Taurus man really isn't going to help. It suggests that your advice would be for the OP to remain in this situation which is not sound advice. The only advice she needs is to get out of the situation.

Now if your 'man' is reading this section then show him those posts on the Cancer section of this website. The ones where you describe how you've been emotionally manipulative to guys. I'm sure he'll enjoy reading those!

Posted by cancergoddess143
LMAO
OP: as you can tell, these women are all single and BITTER as H#LL!
Never take advice from a bitter woman. Wait patiently for the wise Taurus men of this site to answer your questions and give you advice. From observance, I have only seen that these same women who post on sites that are clearly unrelated to them, give the same exact advice (hence why they are miserable). Be careful with that, as you can't take everyone's word for it. TLS, TB1977 and TB are great resources for knowledge on the bull and will give you better advice then these trolls.

Good luck boo 😉

Again I ask, when do you grow up? Your original comment was extremely rude and unnesesary to everyone, you sit back and read the comments while on the pretense of giving someone advice as to not to listen to women who clearly have more life experiences than yourself. You're what we call a sh-- starter. You cause conflict while sitting back watching people react to it. You're the dangerous kind. Put the Barbie Dolls away my dear and become the woman that you claim to be. This is childish behavior of yours and it's sad how you literally took attention away from someone's post and made this a conflict of your own. How selfish can you be? Grow up!

She's a Cancerian. Their habit is to make it all about themselves and they love to be emotionally manipulative. I wouldn't expect anything less from her.

***disclaimer*** I understand not ALL Cancerian people are like this but my personal experiences of them (my uncle, cousin, ex partner, my mother's partner, a couple of now ex mates) has shown me they can be considerably emotionally manipulative and not in a good way or for the benefit of others at all. They like to live and drown in their own shit and bring others with them.

@cancergoddess143: Wait?! That a $ $ hole is using her yet you want her to wait? DAFAQ? Would you like to be treated like that by your guy? Regardless of the sign this guy is a dickhead PERIOD.

@Pipermaxx: hon, you were strung along the entire time. You deserve so much better, cut him off.

Posted by cancergoddess143
OP:
Pay very good attention to how these lonely women react and their verbal behavior.... Sad...Very sad... These women are so depressed. I can sense it in their writing, LOL. If you considered not taking their advice, well then you'd be centered out as an enemy to them, haha. My Taurus man and I are reading these posts and are like "damn, these are some pitiful women". He suggested giving you his own advice via personal message, I told him id ask you first. Let me know and I'll have him PM you 🙂

Sure. I didnt know there is private messages here. I'll like his take.

On second thought that's okay cancergoddess. Thanks anyway.

I know it shouldn't matter but he couldn't have been leading me on the entire time could he? I mean even we he left no matter how much I missed him I never texted, or called him. I just suffered on my own. However he always came back to me. Surely there was some real feeling on his part. Or did he just see me as weak and pathetic person he knew he could do what he wants.

That's not what I mean..

Screw it your right. In the end I'm not the one.

Posted by Pipermax
I know it shouldn't matter but he couldn't have been leading me on the entire time could he? I mean even we he left no matter how much I missed him I never texted, or called him. I just suffered on my own. However he always came back to me. Surely there was some real feeling on his part. Or did he just see me as weak and pathetic person he knew he could do what he wants.

His feelings for you may have been real or they may not have been. Either way it doesn't make any difference to the outcome. As others stated above, he picked her. I appreciate that's hard to accept but watch his actions, not his words.

You may not see it fully now as emotions are involved etc but him choosing her is a good thing. You actually don't want to be with an idiot like that so let him go and she can have him. Otherwise you will waste your good years on him, he won't give you what you want which is a good, honest, decent relationship. You'll end up settling, possibly with a kid or two a few years down the line, he'll still be fucking about. Meanwhile, you could have let him go and found someone nice instead!

Trust me, I spent 3.5 years with someone who wasn't worth the wait (Virgo man) but thankfully I was young enough and didn't have his kids so I could walk away. Just as well as I then met my Taurus man so there's always something or someone better round the corner!

Not everyone on here can be wrong with their views (except that Cancer idiot but no one likes her anyway) so if we are all coming to the same conclusion then we must be onto something!

Im a Cappie too, and Ive noticed that some Taurus men never really let go of the past. I think in a similar way to Cappies, they may enter relationships with people they think are "the one." If him and his ex were together for 7yrs, ill assume there were a lot of thoughts of "forever" with her. He obviously didnt get her completely out of his system so those thoughts are back.

My Virgo sister messed with a Taurus for four years. He was 27/28 when his junior high sweetheart came back into the picture and he up and married her like within a month.

My sis played it so cool. She still talks to him, but only to hear how miserable he is and how much he misses her. She uses his texts and convod as confirmation that he screwed up and as an ego boost and nothing more.

Once a Caps heart gets into it we are mush, but I think you should toughen up and play it similar to my sis. He is with who he "wants." Close your emotional doors, and if you are still going to talk to him, which you probably shouldnt, take a step back and just think of how he's not who you thought he was. You are in a vulnerable moment too, but atleast you are no longer stuck and tied to him. Learn to appreciate your current position. Otherwise, he will use you until you are dried up. Who wouldnt take the opportunity if they could?

seriously guys. this isn't even about him being a taurus. that guy is playing games. he can support the children without them being back together.

Hey good miss OP, this is not about him anymore. It's about you. How you treat yourself.

Good post Inana04. Some good points and observations in there!

Posted by lnana04
Im a Cappie too, and Ive noticed that some Taurus men never really let go of the past. I think in a similar way to Cappies, they may enter relationships with people they think are "the one." If him and his ex were together for 7yrs, ill assume there were a lot of thoughts of "forever" with her. He obviously didnt get her completely out of his system so those thoughts are back.

My Virgo sister messed with a Taurus for four years. He was 27/28 when his junior high sweetheart came back into the picture and he up and married her like within a month.

My sis played it so cool. She still talks to him, but only to hear how miserable he is and how much he misses her. She uses his texts and convod as confirmation that he screwed up and as an ego boost and nothing more.

Once a Caps heart gets into it we are mush, but I think you should toughen up and play it similar to my sis. He is with who he "wants." Close your emotional doors, and if you are still going to talk to him, which you probably shouldnt, take a step back and just think of how he's not who you thought he was. You are in a vulnerable moment too, but atleast you are no longer stuck and tied to him. Learn to appreciate your current position. Otherwise, he will use you until you are dried up. Who wouldnt take the opportunity if they could?

Thank you. I believe I can do this. Change my whole way of thinking. Right now I'm feeling as if I lost out. I'm tearing this other woman down in my head but her only crime is loving him like I do. He has no respect for her or me. I can look at this as a win. But I'm going to keep my distance for now, because talk is cheap and I know at this time I'm weak and he could probably talk me into anything at this time. I want my life back and I want a real relationship. It won't be with him this I know now.

One poster said it had nothing with him being a Taurus, he's right. I fell in love with a jerk.

Thanks everyone. This message board is nice. I'm going to visit the cappie board.
This post h

Omg! This almost exactly what I went through with my taurus "friend". I was dating a guy and he moved his childs mother into his place. He said that they were not sleeping together but his behavior indicated differently. He was calling and texting all the time after I told him I didnt want to talk to him any more. He swore he loved and needed me . He stil wanted to have sex with me. Eventually she left (after 7 months) and I kinda thought we would pick up where we left off but he really just wanted to be a player. He was a liar to begin with. This situation hit close to home..dont waste your time or emotions. Btw im also a Cappie and after we let someone in its hard to start over but he's not worth it...sorry

Posted by miimii
Omg! This almost exactly what I went through with my taurus "friend". I was dating a guy and he moved his childs mother into his place. He said that they were not sleeping together but his behavior indicated differently. He was calling and texting all the time after I told him I didnt want to talk to him any more. He swore he loved and needed me . He stil wanted to have sex with me. Eventually she left (after 7 months) and I kinda thought we would pick up where we left off but he really just wanted to be a player. He was a liar to begin with. This situation hit close to home..dont waste your time or emotions. Btw im also a Cappie and after we let someone in its hard to start over but he's not worth it...sorry

Sorry you wasted time on that loser. Yes us cappies are loyal to a fault and I hate that I still miss the man. I'm standing strong though yesterday he actually called over 20 times. Each message getting crazier and crazier. I wanted to text him to leave me alone but in his perspective any response is a good one . So I'm just gonna stay silent. That's my new game plan

Posted by Pipermax


Sorry you wasted time on that loser. Yes us cappies are loyal to a fault and I hate that I still miss the man. I'm standing strong though yesterday he actually called over 20 times. Each message getting crazier and crazier. I wanted to text him to leave me alone but in his perspective any response is a good one . So I'm just gonna stay silent. That's my new game plan

+1

this is effective, i tell you. hang on there ms op 🙂

pipermax,

OMG. This Taurus man is soo confusing. Drop him for the sake of his family.

Don't TRUST your emotion. You'll become a slave of it and can't even think the right way to EXIT.

It might break your heart leaving him but You'll be fine soon.

Had to bring this up. I needed a reminder of my words and take in account all the good advice I had. 😐

He's starting to get weird. He's leaving me emails, texts , and calling my friends. He showed up to my job twice but both times I had a friend tell him we were packed with patients so lunch was cancelled. He even drives by my apartment time to time.

I started to break down a call him because my friend said he sounded really hurt on the phone and he told her how much he loved and if things were different he would be with me.

Now I heard Taurus men were possessive but I don't think none are like my ex. I wonder if I should be worried.

I'll admit it's my fault she's telling me about him. In the past I'll break things off but I'll glance on his Facebook or something.
And later we would be together again. She simply doesn't believe me when I say it's over this time.

I have things to prove to myself and some of my friends. My behavior in the past was embarrassing and desperate now that I think about it