What to make of Taurus man

I would really love some advice on what to do with my Taurus "boyfriend". We first met through my sister about 2 years ago but started hanging out and getting to know each other about 6 months ago. The whole time he kept telling me that he knew in time we would be a couple and one that would stand the test of time. Then about 2 months ago he finally kissed me and straight away started telling everyone I was his girlfriend. For the first month he introduced me to his family, told me constantly how lucky he was to have found me and that he loves me and we spent every weekend and a couple of nights during the week together. Then about a month ago he said he'd had a freak out about being in a couple but that he got over it, however I don't think he has. Since then he still says he loves me but rarely, we haven't spent 1 weekend together out of the last 3, Valentine's Day we spent the day moving my daughter back into my house but we had no alone time and no sleepover and when he invited me over to his house yesterday he hinted after a couple of hours about me going home, which of course I did. I've spoken to him about it and he says that he just wants to slow things down, he likes his alone time as he's a bit of a loner and that he still loves me so why do I struggle to believe that? Do you think he's telling the truth or has he just gone off me? It's only been a couple of months and I'm supposed to be happy yet I spend more days sad than I do happy because I do love him too and it hurts when he doesn't want to spend anytime with me. I've thought about calling it off a few times as I'm just getting so sick of feeling sad all the time. I'm a Pisces so I can get a bit full on so I have made a huge effort to tone it down however I don't think wanting to spend some time with my boyfriend is too much to ask is it? I'm so confused, I just don't know what to think.

Posted by PV&Jellay
Post your charts. You can get get them from cafe astrology or astro.com.

My chart is Moon - Aries, Mercury - Pisces, Venus - Pisces
His chart is Moon - Scorpio, Mercury - Taurus, Venus - Gemini
Is that all you need or do you need more?

Posted by PV&Jellay
Damn I knew you were a Pisces before I even got to the end sigh. Its the change in consistency that is bothering you, I get it. When someone goes from being lovey dovey and attentive, to suddenly being less emotionally expressive and attentive, it throws us off. We wanna know what changed. I've seen this a lot with earth signs, they do the most to reel you in, then they get lazy and complacent. Pisces need you to keep the fire burning, the way you were you when you got us, is the way you need to stay if you want to keep us.

My advice is avoid the urge to rage quit the relationship. Let him know how you feel. If he doesn't make an effort to remedy the behavior, then it's a problem. I'm sure he will make more effort if he knows he's seriously at risk of losing you. You have to initiate often with a Taurus, thats why they do so well with cardinal signs like Aries and Cancers, and fire signs like Sag and Leo. Plan things you all can do together, with his input of course. Initiate initiate initiate. That's not usually what we do as Pisces, since mutables usually like to go with the flow. If you're gonna date a Taurus though, you may have to initiate plans.

It's nice to know I'm not going totally mad. I will try and talk to him again but I don't know if it will make a difference. I tried to initiate today by saying that it was time we had a sleepover and tonight should be the night and he told me that Saturday would be a better day. So initiating will not work and I think 10 days between sleepovers is way too long for two people that are supposed to be newly in love.

Posted by BG2
No one is talking of a bait and switch. It isn't done on purpose. It happens organically. I can say, as a Taurus that a lot of effort is put into wooing another. Then when in the comfort of a relationship, we feel just that. Comfortable. At ease, to let more of ourselves shine through...hey, it may be less that bleeds through after a while. Depends on the person.
If and when I feel comfortable in a relationship, I no longer feel the need to try so hard. I feel accepted, cared for and cherished for who I am, even when I get lazy and complacent. It may not be as hot and heavy as it was at first, but I will try again to reignite the flame, keep it burning for as long as needed...until I get lazy again. But I'm still there and so is he. There's the consistency. The emotions don't change; the truth of them doesn't. The expression of them may, though.
Perceived consistency, as you've said. You bear an ideal of what it is for you. When things move, shift, twist, rise and fall, that's where it's necessary to dig deeper and see what is still there and always has been.

I have no idea if any of that made sense. It's all clear in my head.

Spare him enough time for him to enter another phase in which the spark will return. I'm not saying, wait around. No, miss. Initiate if need be. Tauruses need that nudge sometimes. Otherwise, we can be so mind-numbingly,
motherfucking BORING!

So your saying that in the eyes of a Taurus it's acceptable to feel comfortable after only a couple of months and comfortable means very limited face to face contact with no intimacy? I tried to initiate contact and was told no. He always talks about the future and says that I deserve to be treated better, but he never does. Is that just him feeling comfortable?

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by overthinking

Posted by PV&Jellay
Post your charts. You can get get them from cafe astrology or astro.com.

My chart is Moon - Aries, Mercury - Pisces, Venus - Pisces
His chart is Moon - Scorpio, Mercury - Taurus, Venus - Gemini
Is that all you need or do you need more?

mars sign?

click to expand

Me - Capricorn
Him - Gemini

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by BG2
No one is talking of a bait and switch. It isn't done on purpose. It happens organically. I can say, as a Taurus that a lot of effort is put into wooing another. Then when in the comfort of a relationship, we feel just that. Comfortable. At ease, to let more of ourselves shine through...hey, it may be less that bleeds through after a while. Depends on the person.
If and when I feel comfortable in a relationship, I no longer feel the need to try so hard. I feel accepted, cared for and cherished for who I am, even when I get lazy and complacent. It may not be as hot and heavy as it was at first, but I will try again to reignite the flame, keep it burning for as long as needed...until I get lazy again. But I'm still there and so is he. There's the consistency. The emotions don't change; the truth of them doesn't. The expression of them may, though.
Perceived consistency, as you've said. You bear an ideal of what it is for you. When things move, shift, twist, rise and fall, that's where it's necessary to dig deeper and see what is still there and always has been.

I have no idea if any of that made sense. It's all clear in my head.

Spare him enough time for him to enter another phase in which the spark will return. I'm not saying, wait around. No, miss. Initiate if need be. Tauruses need that nudge sometimes. Otherwise, we can be so mind-numbingly, motherfucking BORING!

LOL. You made perfect sense. I guess it's just different with Pisces. Even in the wooing stage, what you get with us is what you see. If we're boring when you meet us, we will be boring when you keep us. If we like to party when you meet us, we will like to party when you keep us. Not saying people don't change when they get comfortable, because everyone does. I'm just saying upfront we show you who we are, so you know what to expect long term. So woo yes, but be yourself. Otherwise you set up false expectations.

click to expand

You are spot on there. I don't know anything about Taurus but that is defiantly a Pisces thing

Posted by BG2

Posted by overthinking

Posted by BG2
No one is talking of a bait and switch. It isn't done on purpose. It happens organically. I can say, as a Taurus that a lot of effort is put into wooing another. Then when in the comfort of a relationship, we feel just that. Comfortable. At ease, to let more of ourselves shine through...hey, it may be less that bleeds through after a while. Depends on the person.
If and when I feel comfortable in a relationship, I no longer feel the need to try so hard. I feel accepted, cared for and cherished for who I am, even when I get lazy and complacent. It may not be as hot and heavy as it was at first, but I will try again to reignite the flame, keep it burning for as long as needed...until I get lazy again. But I'm still there and so is he. There's the consistency. The emotions don't change; the truth of them doesn't. The expression of them may, though.
Perceived consistency, as you've said. You bear an ideal of what it is for you. When things move, shift, twist, rise and fall, that's where it's necessary to dig deeper and see what is still there and always has been.

I have no idea if any of that made sense. It's all clear in my head.

Spare him enough time for him to enter another phase in which the spark will return. I'm not saying, wait around. No, miss. Initiate if need be. Tauruses need that nudge sometimes. Otherwise, we can be so mind-numbingly,
motherfucking BORING!

So your saying that in the eyes of a Taurus it's acceptable to feel comfortable after only a couple of months and comfortable means very limited face to face contact with no intimacy? I tried to initiate contact and was told no. He always talks about the future and says that I deserve to be treated better, but he never does. Is that just him feeling comfortable?

Whoa. Easy, Nelly. I was not saying any of that. I was simply trying to illustrate what may happen when a Taurus gets comfortable - still loving , though different. That is what I meant.
Acting like an inconsiderate jerk-off after a couple of months, is a completely different thing. Any shouldn't be acceptable for anyone.

click to expand

Sorry didn't mean to come across forceful, just trying to understand. He is still loving when I speak to him he just doesn't seem to want to spend anytime with me and everything seems to revolve around what he wants and not what I want

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by overthinking

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by overthinking

Posted by PV&Jellay
Post your charts. You can get get them from cafe astrology or astro.com.

My chart is Moon - Aries, Mercury - Pisces, Venus - Pisces
His chart is Moon - Scorpio, Mercury - Taurus, Venus - Gemini
Is that all you need or do you need more?

mars sign?

Me - Capricorn
Him - Gemini

Hmm. I don't have any experience with Gemini placements romantically. But I would say based on placements there is a difference in love style.

You: Pisces sun(wants passion). Aries moon (wants action and possibly a little drama ), Pisces mercury (creativity of thought and conversation), Pisces Venus (wants affection and intimacy), Cap mars (wants to know why aren't we having sex right now? Like why would you date me if you don't wanna have sex regularly?)

Him: Taurus sun (want steady love), Scorpio moon (wants emotional depth. Wants to strip you bare and know the core of your soul), Taurus mercury (Zzzz), Gemini Venus (mental stimulation, flirting, share some hobbies), Gemini mars (talk dirty to me, seduce my mind, make me so randy I'm driving over to your house at 2am in the snow like a pheen)

click to expand

WOW! Thanks for that. You just described me perfectly again. As far as his description it does all sound like him except for the last bit. He doesn't seem interested in sex at all at the moment. Sorry if I missed something but does that all mean that we are compatible?

*Update* He just called me and was telling me about a problem with his car. I offered a suggestion and he was really happy as it was something he hadn't thought of. He told me that he really would be lost without me, he knows that, and that he appreciates me putting up with him being so flaky and that he's sorry. The thing is he's said stuff like that before but nothing changes. I've told him that actions speak louder than words however all I ever get from him is words. Is that just the Taurus's style? Or should I believe what he says and accept that he's just not very good at intimacy?

Posted by PV&Jellay
It's just a difference in love styles. He's making the personal sign fallacy of assuming it's all about him. What he wants. How he feels, when he wants to do things, what he wants to talk about, when he wants to do things. Zzzz. He feels guilty about not being able to give you what h knowa that you want, so he apologizes. Your love styles are not naturally compatible, but he probably cares about you, a lot.

I am hoping you will get more Taurus insight on how to WAKE HIM UP. How much do you two talk? What about flirting or banter? Any shared hobbies? Air dominants need mental stimulation, or boredom sets in.Your mercuries are compatible which mean good communication is possible. Your sun signs are compatible. The rest of your chart...not so much, you're pretty dissimilar in what you want relationship wise. But take astrology with a grain of salt. I think anyone is compatible if they are willing to work at the relationship. It takes two though. Before you give him the boot, try talking to him about what you're feeling. Tell him you need a bit more spice. Remind him how it was when you first met and why you fell in lobe with him. See if he is willing to meet you half way. If he makes an effort, and you still feel unsatisfied, then maybe consider the friend zone.

I think your right, he does feel guilty about not being able to give me what I want, I'm just not sure if he will ever think that I'm important enough to try.

We talk all the time, when we do spend time together that's all we do. We have been very open about our relationship from day one and even now we still talk about it regularly, things just never change. I think I may need to be more forceful in what I expect and what I want, just like he is. When we spend time together we get along extremely well. We flirt, laugh, hug, basically have fun, he just doesn't seem to want to do that anywhere near as often as I need.

Posted by busyeyes88
PS. If he becomes too lazy put a bomb up his ass!!!! He has a VIG... These people are always on the move... If you don't keep up, you will get left behind. They need constant stimulation out of the bedroom and inside one.. A VIG will only be "sexless" if they are bored!! I gather that these people like sex very much but the sex needs to be stimulating.

You are a pisces very emotional and gentle.. You are water... Change up your speed sometimes... Ie.. My taurus crush says "I am like an onion. Too many layers. I need to peel all that off"!! Intrigue keeps keeps him interested. He also has a VIG!!! Do be too obvious... Don't be available when he calls. Be off out doing stuff...

Do you understand?

I do understand what your saying however I don't know how to change up my speed. I'm a Pisces, I'm very open, honest, what you see is what you get and wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't know how to be any other way.

As for the sex I wouldn't have called it boring by any stretch of the imagination however maybe that is something I need to see if he does.

Posted by PV&Jellay
Every Taurus is different. Sorry, but some of you bulls are just plain boring. Pisces are action oriented sexual beings like our Sag cousins. We like to spend time and hsve fun with our significant other. Being dull and unavailable will get you dumped. OP would probably do better with a water or aries dominant Taurus who has some get up and go. If you wanna twittle your thumbs at home, then your boring ass should stay single lol.

OMG I totally agree again. I especially like If you wanna twittle your thumbs at home, then your boring ass should stay single haha. Couldn't agree more!!!

Posted by overthinking

Posted by PV&Jellay
Post your charts. You can get get them from cafe astrology or astro.com.

My chart is Moon - Aries, Mercury - Pisces, Venus - Pisces
His chart is Moon - Scorpio, Mercury - Taurus, Venus - Gemini
Is that all you need or do you need more?

click to expand

Use some of that fire moon to be bold and plan something fun that he will enjoy. Cater it around his likes. Throughout and at the end of your adventure drop hints of something you would like to do the following weekend.

See if he'll come through for you.

He's not going to change much. He's showing you who he is. Mark my words, if you stay, you will be complaining about this years from now as well.

when someone says I think you deserve better I think that is your answer and you didn't believe it and still wishing and hoping for something

I agree with what everyone's saying, I just needed to hear it I guess. Going to talk with him this weekend and something tells me it maybe the last talk we have for awhile. Sigh

It happens that we actually are stubborn listening at times and do what we want anyways until you yourself has had enough of getting burned

enough and once we are fixed we are and move on..