A postmortem:Proof that Virgos can have feelings..

I've just finished a short, but passionate love affair with another Virgo: She is Scorpio moon and I am a Gemini moon.

We connected through intellectual talks, humor and back rubs. Over the course of six weeks it turned into something more.

Things progressed honestly, without planning or games. We were falling for each other. I could see the look in her eyes. I was effecting her..

Then? She freaked out, 24 hours later, with no real change.

She said "She was freaked out by she and I" and that she "trusts me with her life....just not her heart."

We agreed to keep things light and positive and find out what this was between us. She had told me at the beginning that "she couldn't promise anything at all" and that she "had a hard time forming relationships with people". Her father abandoned her mother and sister when she was four years old, so i believe that it all stems from that. But, I could read her emotions by her eyes..she was deeply into me. When she was freaking out, she mentioned that she "realized that she really, really, likes" me.

Saw her at work a few nights later, briefly, because she had to study for a test (we had talked about this before the freak out). Everything was fine. Then, starting that night....silence. No response to texts (I only sent 4 all week).

The next week at work (we only see each other at work once a week, but used to get together outside of it) - she was supposed to stay and talk with me, like we had for the past two months. She sent me a text "i'm sorry, i have things to do and can't tonight." I saw her before she left and, while we were alone, I calmly asked "Are you ok?" She looked down. "Do you need a complete separation?" She definitively said "Yes....Yes." I smiled sadly and said "Ok." We made eye contact as a few co-workers approached.

I looked at the co-worker and said "Have a good night." Then, starting to leave, I looked at her and said "Goodbye."

And that was that. I've deleted her number, unfriended her on Facebook, etc. This feels so abrupt, so odd. I personally feel like she is scared and blew it up because of that.

I know it will pass, but it hurts. Our connection was really special and honestly...although, it wasn't there yet...love really seemed possible.

I should add that it had become physical. It had become a very real romantic relationship. (Just thought I'd add that bit, because it makes a difference.)

Virgos are emotional, what the hell do you need proof for?

Wow people expect feelings to dropped at a hat or moments notice.

I think that my title might have been unintentionally misleading. As a Virgo, I am obviously aware that we are very emotional. The point I was making here is that this relationship (4 weeks courting, 4 weeks romantically), while very short, was very high in emotion, more than I have ever experienced with any other sign.

I read once that when two Virgos get together, neuroses are amplified.. I can kind of see it, actually.

Hey Clueless Cancer 🙂 - I enjoy seeing your posts on the boards. We do think about other's feelings a lot. We worry about how things will effect the other.

For instance, and I'm assuming here, but the Virgo girl I'm referring to was RUNNING from her emotions. She also probably convinced herself that she was making it safer for me in the long run as well.

We might seem cold, but we really aren't. At all. Promise. And in fact, I think some of us are pretty damned good people to have in your life. I try to be one, personally.

I'm 99% sure it was her freaking out. She has no reason to distrust me at all.

@ Lady - Thinking about it, I think you are totally right. I think the "not forming those kinds of attachments" line is actually her version of protecting herself. I saw, felt, experienced that attachment - then she panicked. If she had been taught that a man who cares for her, leaves her, then why wouldn't she be distrustful of relationships in general?

Less than 48 hours before the freak out, she was emphatically telling me how I was "perfect for her", - laughing and being very romantic and affectionate. Then..boom. So thats what it sounds like to me..

I've stopped all contact to 1) Give her the space and separation she needs and 2) Let myself heal and move on.

I appreciate the input.

I'm not a Virgo but I am female and have reacted similarly when I got too close/ too fast. Sorry that you are going through this.

Posted by VirgoFromCo

She had told me at the beginning that "she couldn't promise anything at all" and that she "had a hard time forming relationships with people". Her father abandoned her mother and sister when she was four years old, so i believe that it all stems from that. But, I could read her emotions by her eyes..she was deeply into me. When she was freaking out, she mentioned that she "realized that she really, really, likes" me.



And that was that. I've deleted her number, unfriended her on Facebook, etc. This feels so abrupt, so odd. I personally feel like she is scared and blew it up because of that.

I know it will pass, but it hurts. Our connection was really special and honestly...although, it wasn't there yet...love really seemed possible.

Well, can't blame her, she gave you her disclaimer that she's damaged goods in the beginning, and you chose to ignore that and moved forward anyway. Then she exposes herself and shows exactly what she tried to tell you when the fear reared it's ugly head. Your solution is complete abandonment, which shows us you did not HEAR what she tried to tell you in the beginning. Not her fault at all. You may have read the look in her eyes, unfortunately, you did not hear that's as far as it would get.

Posted by VirgoFromCo
I'm 99% sure it was her freaking out. She has no reason to distrust me at all.

This has nothing to do with you at all. This has to do with baggage she has not yet dealt with and will never get far in a relationship until she addresses the problem straight on. Something not even a Virgo can fix.

@LetitB - Oh, I'm not angry with her or anything. She did tell me that stuff and I did move forward, because I was being honest with her and myself. I don't feel wronged by her, or any of that. Just a bit bummed out.

When she exposed herself that way, what should I have done? I am giving her what she said she wanted and giving myself space to heal. If I "chased her", I would prolong this and it would become negative.