Analyze this...please?

Hi, I'm new. I just stumbled across this board and I got hooked :-) I have read through some threads and I found a bunch of possible answers to my "problem" But it seems the situation never totally fits. So could you please give me your thoughts on this—?? I will try to keep it short and sweet :-)

I'm a capricorn girl and ran into this virgo guy about a year ago. We both had our horses at the same ranch at the time. We mostly just had small talk hi and bye for the longest time. Then we talked a little more and when i moved my horses to a different ranch, he came by to check on me there. we exchanged phone#s because I needed (well, still need) a fence build, hes a carpenter.

One crazy night, we ran into eachother and we were both drunk. He came over to my place to check out the fence situation, we ended up walking my dog to the beach, got some more beer and started talking. He told me he wants to get married, have kids. Said he can be a jerk, but hes the best guy i'd ever meet and i need to hold on to him. back at my place, I told him to spend the night because he was too drunk to drive. He ended up in bed with me, but nothing really happened.

Then we started calling eachother, talking for hours on the phone. He came over a few days later and I know i screwed up by sleeping with him. He kept calling, we're hanging out everything is going good. Seem to have a lot in common, and feel the same about a bunch of things. I really enjoy his company. He's cute and cuddley and always fiddles with my hands blablabla lol. I have no doubt this guy likes me.

so at some point, he offered to fix my tire, I had a nail in it....makes a big fuss about it etc. I called him (like he told me to) a couple of days later and he's not answering his phone. Doesnt call me back either. Makes NO sense to me at all. Hes MIA for a week. Then leaves me a message saying it was a long story, he'll call later or I can call him. I did, dont hear back from him for another 3 days. Then he comes over, had some story, fine, whatever. We're back to normal, talking on the phone for hours, hanging out etc.

New Years eve, we went riding in the morning, then he had to go watch the football game. he came back over later, we BBQ'd and cooked. Life is great. jan 2nd was my B-day, we go riding, I have my friend with me, the 2 of them take me to an early dinner. He kinda ditched work that day and spend the night with me. Everything is peachy. Leaves my house last wednesday morning....

....and thats the last I have seen and heard of him!!!! Now its been a week and I can't make sense of it. i honestly didn't see this coming. I left him a couple of messages over the weekend but since then I've backed off. I know he was at the ranch over the weekend, I could see his truck.

I really dont know what to make of it and how to handle this. Did he not want to "break" up with me on my b-day? And now ran for the hills now that its over? I've only been seeing him for the past 2 1/2 month. So I dont think I can really call it serious at this point. But I would think we're past the point of where one just "fades out", doesnt call and hope I get the picture. I do not have him pegged to be like that at all.

He constantly talks to me about his family, I feel like I know them. Hes told me all about his exes, I think. I know he has had a drinking problem in the past, one of his girls left him because of it. I dont think alcohol is a problem anymore, I have offered him beer and he always declines.

So what do I do—?? Any thoughts and any input will be appreciated. Did I say I would make this short and sweet?? LOL...Sorry

Oh, one week he called me every day. He usually calls more than I do. But my tranny had gone out in my truck and he was worried. he spend time calling around for me and found me a transmission, saved me some $ s too. He spent x-mas w/ his family in LA. But called me from there to see what I was doing. Made my day.....

anyways, now hes MIA again...

Thank you guys!!!!! Bean

PS, lol, see now I cant stop....

I know hes been pretty stressed because work hasnt been steady. I got him a xmas present. could that have set him off? He didnt have anything for me and I know he felt weird, I could see it. I'm not really good with words so I dont think I really was able to make it clear that it wasnt a big deal. I wanted to buy him that present, it just makes me happy to give something, especially unexpected.

anyways, I think thats all I have for now :-)

Hi dyrstr8z, thanks for the welcome and the fast reply :-)

can you tell me what you mean by benders?

Thank you Roxi. I have read through some of the other posts. Some give me hope some don't lol. I'm trying not to sweat it. I just needed to hear some more opinions thats all.

I like that you said "go with the flow" and the thing about relaxing and enjoying. i keep telling myself that too. It works for a few days. then my brain had time to think, re-think and over think. Not a good thing.

So if dissapearing for some time is his thing....I guess I will have to see how long I can keep up with that.

But you 2 are right, I shouldn't question myself, I hate doing it to myself.

texnbean, not that I'm any expert on Virgo's by any means (I obviously compelety screwed up with one), I will do my best to give you what insight I know.

First, and probably the most important (I think), is that it takes them a while longer than most people to understand people's intentions and approaches when it comes to potential partners . . so, every time you make a gesture, he needs to step back and take more consideration as to what you actually mean. I'm sure he is interested in you, or he wouldn't have made attempts to do things with you. It's just, he needs more time . . a lot more time . . try to be patient.

Second, and probably the next most important thing (I think), is, though Virgo's strive for perfection in just about everything they do . . they don't necessarily believe that they are perfect themselves and regularly fault themselves for falling short in this area . . so, when he does something, or says something to you . . he NEEDS to analyze within himself whether he did the right (perfect) thing, or not.

I hope this helps in some way . . and hang in there . . one thing I know FOR SURE, is that they above everything else, are pure and true . . so, if he contacts you and wants to work on being with you . . he means it, he's not playing.

Good Luck and welcome to the community.

Yeah, I'm ok . . just feeling stupid for being so damn weak . . I lost my shit and embarassed myself in front of everybody. I know you were ok the whole time, you're such a strong person, Roxi . . I need to take lessons from you.

To answer your question, if he feels he screwed up . . he'll run for the hills and likely never contact that person again . . they fear being embarrassed . . Dyr will confirm this . . they just dont' do this very well.

You got it right, Rox . . texigal . . he's probably gone . . if not, if by some chance he comes back . . tread easy with him, they are very sensitive folk.

Hey all, thanks for all the great advice. He actually did leave me a message "Beaner-Weaner where are you? how come you're not answering your cell phone?" --> He called my home #!!!!

Anyways, I havent had a chance to call him back yet.

I'm actually from Germany, not texas :-) My horses name is Tex and one of my nicknames is bean. So I just stuck the 2 together. Nice meeting everyone. I'm sure you'll hear from me again...as long as this dude sticks around 😉I know I have a great deal of patience, as long as I know its for a good reason. And I know he has the potential to be a good reason...only time will tell I guess. Being a capricorn, I have trouble opening up myself....so i can understand his view of freaking out when things get too serious.