any Virgos with free time? I need help with love.

Hello, I am an Aries female who has been friends with a Virgo male for about 3 years (close friends for the last year).

I am helplessly infatuated with him- and we are both single. I have expressed my feelings for him on several occassions, and at times he has reciprocated (kissing, snuggling on the couch and spending more time with me). My issue is, I told him exactly how he makes me feel, and now he tap-dances around the subject of us dating. Wassup with that?

Seems like he is the king of mixed messages- where one day he holds my hands, and the next day he is too busy to say, "hi".

Just the other day, he says he feels friction between us.. that it seems like one or both of us is trying to force something that should occur natually.

Is he telling me to back off? Is my telling him how I feel too pushy?

I have read a lot of articles about Virgo men/ and how they tend to desire perfection. So, should Aries and Virgo even try to date at all?

*Geh* this stinks, and I feel like I am in high school again.

Hello seizeTheDay and welcome to this board

Hmmmm

I am Virgo male with a relationship experience with Aries many years ago?!!
But first thing first? reminding you that, you can have this problem with anyone else in this 12 signs of zodiac "as long as you don?t know what are you after" so this star sign stuff is (useless) unless you want to make a drama out of it.

You've said: "Seems like he is the king of mixed messages- where one day he holds my hands, and the next day he is too busy to say, "Hi"."

This is typical Virgo... They are busy with their thoughts along with their relationships, reminding you that "he is not your slave to respond in YOUR favour when YOU want it" if you push it..!! you more likely loose him?(Virgos don?t like pushy people) leave him alone and he'll get back to you and repair the possible damage "if it occurs"?..the main problem is Virgo people need room for their environment, this doesn?t mean that he don?t love you, he need time to develop his own personality/meanings etc. If you push it you get negative response?just give him a room to breathe?!

Forget about perfections?. Nobody is perfect?.but Virgo's are picky ?. They are busy with Shapes, things that please the eyes?.you'll find out for yourself with your lover.

Hope this will help ..:!!

Cheers
🙂

Hello Qbone, thanks for the advice.

I'm not too deep into the sun signs/stars, however, does this ever help!

That totally explains why he's so willing to call when give I him space-- but goes nuts when I try to make demands on our time together. He so deep, and we talk, it's like he speaks to my soul. Sometimes I feel self concious- like maybe I'm not smart enough.

Any advice on how to court him? I mean, he's told me that he's interested.. and I wanna close the deal!!! (oh.. and I'm not good with patience stuff) Thanks for your help!

SiezeTheDay (STD-hehehehe)

Oh yah.. and how did things go with your aries lover? Was it difficult? Spicy? Did you have trouble with the pushiness, directness? Would you do it again?

Thanks again.

Hehe
Well? I have 2 kids with that "Aries" and if I get lucky with "Aries" again I would do the same..

The problem is we need to know our limits and needs, it requires knee-jerk STUDY and sense of responsibilities on (both sides).

My "Aries" in "my sense" were pushy?badly. But we leaved together for 11 years and have two kids.. with no problem whatsoever and today we are great friends.
We just needed to break up cause we needed our own space to deal with.. thats all.

I didn?t know her? she didn?t know me?.we were a lovers .. no big deal.. people changes in time anyway?lovers today.. might be the haters in couple of weeks?..learn to deal with it.

It's not about star sign? its about how you guys develop and grow (with each others).

Cheers
🙂

leaved=lived sorry typos

Ok, I get your drift. I know what I want out of a relationship, and just sit back and let things flow...

No... you don't get it at all?

Be yourself (for what you are? cause in his eyes you are perfect) just don?t try to control his way of life?
🙂

Let me explain..
If you want to get to the party? invite him?(don?t be pushy)?if you get NO.. then go to the party and enjoy your time (without him)?you want to see that movie..?? ask him..if he refuse? then you do what you wanted to do?

YOU DON?T HAVE TO SHAPE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOUR LOVERS DON?T AGREE WITH IT.

But? respect his need and requirements?.. grow with each other?

but I'm all about CONRTOL!!! 🙂 😉

*sigh* I hear you. I just want this thing to work out way too badly.

Your answer makes total sense, however sometimes I'm not sure what's considered "controlling" his life- or just voicing my expectations.....

I mean he freaked when I told how much I liked him. Wassup with that? I thought men liked it when women are honest, upfront and direct.. that way they don't have to play that guessing game.

Ok, I'll try it out. Worst case scenario, I'll just have to move on.

Hehe

Why I am not surprised?!!

Aries are fast moving creatures and Virgo creature needs time to digest the stuff (that has been dictated by Aries)?!! (Virgo people don?t have problem to accept the orders from Aries)
They just need time to digest the order?.

See my point..??

Grow with each other and take time to study your needs, it is very important that Aries creature slow down and let Virgo creature DIGEST
🙂

Hmm ok.. i got it, digest... not to be confused with swallow.. 😉.

thanks for your help.

Hi sTD, how are you?

Well, I am a Virgo, and it just so happens that I have the opposite problem. I am trying to "close" the deal with an Aries woman. Actually I think that I wanted to, as I am just about ready to give up. She is moving way to slow for me (if that is possible!), and my patience is being pushed to the limit.

We've been going out every week-end for the past 6 weeks, and the experience has been very frustrating for me. We are both 32, yet just like you, I feel like I am back in high-school. Last Saturday we had the most amazing time:We visited a Museum and then we had dinner in this most romantic restaurant- laughs, tender moments, etc, then when I drop her off - she just hugs me. I told her point blank, that I hoped for a kiss(lol after 12 dates), and she replied that " I do not know about kisses".... This after she responded positivelly to my every advance - from holding hands, to touching her hair, to looking into her eyes - while we we're having dinner.

So, as you can see - dating is much more complicated then knowing somebody's sign. My Aries acts just like your Virgo, and I(a Virgo) have acted just like you( a Aries).

I liked (still like) this girl very much, and the time we spended together was exceptional (took a lot of energy out of me though), however at this point I do not particulary care why she is acting so contradictory. I won't even ask for a explanation. I tried my best, I was very honest about my intentions, I've never pressured her, and I put a lot of effort in trying to make things work.
I will just be MOVING ON, without ANY regrets. Why would I want to be with somebody, who is reticent - for whatever reasons? It's her loss really!

So to answer your questions:
First: Forget about the astrology stuff. He is a man first!

Second: Move on without regrets. If he want's you - he will let you know. If not, forget him. I am sure that there are plenty of other men, who would like to date you.

Third: I've known quite a lot of Aries females in my life, and I was really atracted to all of them. While the atraction was more sexual then mental(which made uncomfortable when I was younger) - the atraction was extremly strong in all cases. However the timing was off in all my interactions with Aries females. Either I was "spoken" for, or she was.
I know that Aries and Virgo, can be very good together. I was very close friends with one Aries girl in particular for over 4 years. But, I was married at that time, and I never did anything about it. She then became very close friends with my ex-wife, and sadlly I had to let her go when I divorced. I still miss that girl though...

Well good luck to you - Excess.

Hello Excess,

Thanks for you all your advice. As for your aries lover- I'm surprised she lead you on like that. Usually if I like a guy (or not really interested) I let them know right away. Why wait?

And you're right, he is a man first-- and he's showed me that he's attracted to me on several occasions (verabally and *ahem* physically). But that's where the problems begin! We'll have a totally awesome date, conversation flows easy, we always end the evening with some kissing and snuggling on the couch.

It's OBVIOUS to me that we like each other-- but when I vocalize it and tell him that I want a relationship.. that's when the tap dance begins. Never telling me that he doesn't want one, but not telling me he wants one either. Qbone suggests that I give him time/space-- let him digest the events going on. If he's ready, he'll give me the greenlight... but how long is a gal like me supposed to take cold showers?

Anyway... I have waited as long as 9 months for "love" and it blossomed into 3.5 years of bliss.

But I also know how some people can be delusional-- and all that waiting will only result in disappointment. *sigh* I guess no one can really advise me on this and I'll just have to trust my internal instincts. Thanks for letting me blab about it on your forum.

By the way.. does love get any easier as you get older?

"Total control can be the death of a work".
-Andy Goldsworthy
Sculptor

Hi TLH

Welcome back man...what's up..??