Anyone else feel this way?

I was never the person to actually go out and look for a relationship, they all have kind of came to me. The reason being is, I'm too shy to express myself to a woman. I've tried, a lot. It's like something inside of me is afraid to tell them what I want to tell them. Struggling day in and day out, just wanting someone to know who you actually are on the inside and not the outer shell. My best friends don't even fully know me, I can't find the trust I need in someone to actually spill my thoughts to them. I feel alone all of the time, even though I do everything for my friends without even so much as a request for something back. Even if they go to pay me back later, I tell them to keep their money. I enjoy helping people, it's one of the only things in life that I can get excited over. I know I have my bad days and good days, but most of the time, even on the good days, I come home from school, look at my grandfather, who I recently found out was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer and has only six months to a year left. It kills me inside.. it really does..

I only meant for this to be a little short, I guess I got too carried away again. I guess I feel like I'm connected with most of you in some sort of way, like all of us share attributes with one another and we can feel those energies when one is close by.

What I wanted to ask, was does anyone else feel like they scared when they attempt to tell someone how they feel? Does anyone else feel lonely sometimes?

P.S. Sorry for the long-ish post and my babbling...

Its not that I'm scared. It's just pointless to try in my family.

Hasn't everyone felt lonely?

Posted by GeminiLovesVirgo

But I promise, it won't hurt.

Stupid people irritate the fuck out of me.

You have no clue what will hurt a person you don't know, so you can't make a promise to a random guy that for him to let out his feelings won't hurt him.

especially coming from a Gemini, who drops people without so much as a second thought ....

That ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is a prime example why people would be afraid to be sincere ... because people, for the most part, can't handle deep feelings, and so treat them like they mean nothing.



here you are stating how hard it is for you to express yourself because you aren't sure if you can trust another with the depth of your feelings and you're told ... go ahead, spill your beans, I promise you that it won't hurt you.


I mean, how superficial is that?

alot

People aren't receptive .... you should not trust (just) anyone with your feelings, and most people fall into this crack. Usually, it's with the concept of love, but, your type of case is included.


People feel that they are missing something in their life, they put so much focus into being upset about the item that is missing, that they tend to dismiss the value of the person .... the person becomes an object, a tool, of whether it can be used or not to obtain this item you are missing.


Like I said, it's usually love, and it's usually women ..... they want to be loved so bad that they fail to realize that there's a person on the other side, and only regard him/her as an object in place to provide this love.

Hugs@Cerib—
Sorry to hear about your grandfather it really sucks.
@Your Qs yes&yes

Posted by Layna

I used to literally start choking when I try to convey significant feelings... the words wouldn't come out, even when I desperately wanted the person to know.

I've experienced the same as Layna. As for loneliness I brought it on myself. People are all around me and I didn't reach out when I could have. It's hard to open up when it doesn't come naturally. I had to understand that I could either put myself out there and maybe get burnt by someone or stay closed off and still be hurt from that. The only way to change is to change regardless of what comes with it pain or joy. It's not about ensuring that people will put out a safety net for you to land in. It's about not letting anything or anyone (including yourself) stop you from experiencing what life has to offer and living how you want to live.

I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time Cerib. You were able to express yourself, even if it was only a little bit, in your post. There's potential in that, in my opinion. You say you have best friends, and you have been really good to them, so it's about time that you let them return the favor. It won't be easy-this isn't something that comes naturally to everyone. The main point is that you find it within yourself to make an effort. Slowly at first, and as time passes by you may be pleasantly surprised. There are no guarantees, but you should try it.

To answer your question, I don't really like to express my emotions much. I usually feel awkward doing so. And yes it does get scary sometimes. But I still do it, because my feelings are important, so are yours, and so are everyone else's. As a human being it's important that those feelings get expressed somehow.

Posted by Cerib

What I wanted to ask, was does anyone else feel like they scared when they attempt to tell someone how they feel? Does anyone else feel lonely sometimes?

You're definitely not alone. I mean I can give you my life story as to why I find it hard to share intimate moments with other people and the inability of speech when it comes to my feelings or perhaps the irrational fear of letting someone know who I am.

But that's just it. I use to think I'm a bi-product of my past that people may judge me or think I'm weird and fucked up. Then like magic I wanted to turn that around and started sharing these feelings with other people and guess what I found what I was looking for. Yes people are selfish, there are people out there like P-Angel said who just can't deal with the deeper emotions and I was left hurt more than I was before, sinking to the bottom like no one can ever be trusted again.

Then I don't know I guess I've come to terms with the past doesn't define who I am. It's what I do that makes me different. I don't need to share these moments with other people. There is nothing to resolve because this is just who I am and slowly but surely I can divulge whatever information I want to. To relate, to help, to aid other people and in-turn once I realise they can handle it I give more if they ask for it.

I'm not saying I understand you but I do know that feeling. In the end I did have to face it for better or worse and it was only me that made the defining difference as to how I wanted to carry myself.

Posted by CluelessCancer

LOL I just want to argue and force the issue Virgo's you need to talk to your mates. That's all. Hahahhahahahhha. You can get alone time on the other side, when your dead, but while you're here, give us some love and attention through not mere words,but action...thus giving us PEACE...

So, in reality .... your advice was self centered. You had no interest in helping him, rather, how you can convince him (all Virgos) into helping you deal with your emotions, while masking it as being compassionate to his cause.

It's not this real Virgo issue that they battle with constantly ... it's YOU you think about and how you can get from the Virgo what YOU want.


To creator of this thread: see what I mean ^^^^^^^^^^ ... you are wise to not share these emotions with just any person, and even if it's a person you care for .. be very careful because people (usually women) are emotional vampires.