Aries needs advice about a Virgo guy !

I am born on April 18th, 1973. My sun is in aries, moon scorpio and rising aquarius. I met a Virgo man in august and was extremely attracted to him. He is born august 26th, 1979. I dont know at what time. We were working together on a 2-day job. He was constantly looking at me but wouldn't move so I decided to introduce myself and that's how we started talking. I could feel a very nice vibe going on between the both of us. We exchanged numbers and he sent me a few texts then, a week after he invited me on a date. I thought it was perfect. We spent the week-end together, we went for a brunch, then went for a bike ride in the afternoon, then we spent the rest of the evening with his friends, and finally improvised a party at his place with me and one of his very close friend (male) and we had a great, great time (the three of us). The chemistry was high. And it was odd at the same time because it was really going on between the 3 of us. Then his friend left, I slept at his place, but we just kissed that's it. He offered me to go with his friend and him to the beach the week-end after but i couldn't make it because I was working. After that I didn't call and just waited a week or 2 and sent a msg to invite him at a concert. He couldn't make it. Otherwise he hasn't called or text messaged me. He didn't show sign for 12 days after my invitation. It means, that one month after our first date, I still had no news from him except that one time when I texted him. So finally, I was really wondering what was going on. I sent him 1 email saying that I felt a certain distance but I was mainly trying to reassure him, saying that I wasn't actually rushing him into anything and that I just wanted to have fun and get to know him. Because I felt like he was hiding from me as if I was pressuring him but I really didn't. The only thing that I did is that I showed him that I really enjoyed the date. Said that he was a real man and that he looked like a prince. (I didn't say all that at the same time but at various moments of the date) Was that showing too much ? Did he feel that he really made a strong impression on me?

Part2:
In my email I also said that I felt awkward calling him or texting him and the reason why I was holding back was only to respect his space but didn't mean in anyway that I didn't want to see him. And that he was welcome to call me etc..
So I had this very honest immediate answer that totally threw me off balance because I thought he would ignore my email or come up with some stupid excuse. But this is how he answered :
"well, i've been keeping my distance from you because your a really cool girl, and i don't want you to get caught up in this promiscuous stage of mine right now. i think your awesome and intelligent and creative and that we would have a good time hanging out and being artists but we've got that sexual attraction between us, and something was bound to happen, and if it did happen and i just vanished for weeks like i always do with all of my friends... i just didn't want you to get hurt ya know. i'm a very strange person, i'll hang out with someone for a week solid then not call them for a month, and my good friends know me for this , but new friends always find this very odd. its just how i Roll..."

For the first time of my life, a man tells me he is keeping his distance because we are too attracted by each other ! For somebody who is promiscuous, he should want me right ?

So what am I supposed to understand ? We just had one date ! It's not like I asked him to marry me or something !

Does it mean that he likes me so much that he doesn't want to lose control over his emotions and he feels that it could be a little more serious than just ******* around ?

Or if he just wants to **** around, why not with me ? Am I so special that he wouldn't like to treat me that way like he said, he doesn't want me to get hurt. So does that mean that I am special to him and not like the one he f...!

Or is this just a polite way to turn me down, meaning just that he is not into me and trying to say that nicely?

Part3:
I sent him back an email of 2 pages. [I can assure you that it was not a sentimental one.] It was indeed a beautiful one but not in that sense. It was beautiful in the sense that it was a very structured, mature and intelligent mail that didn't necessarily talked about me or about how I felt or us, or what i wanted from him. I just thanked him for being so honest with me. From there I talked about honesty and how I valued that. Then I talked about how I also valued freedom and how I totally understood his position. and that it was totally fine with me. From there I was inspired by that freedom topic, because that's very important to me, and went on about one of my favorite movie and described one of the character which was a sort of a way to express that freedom and friendship were among my top values and blah blah to finally say that I would just be happy if I could hang out with him and his close friend because I really enjoyed being with the both of them, we were like a band of brothers and sister. I said that it would be enough for me. I didn't need to be physical with him. And it is true. I really want to know him and be his friend first. Then my last sentence was " Live your life as you want. I feel you. Be promiscuous if that makes you happy. Be safe. Vanish and feel Safe. I won't kiss you again.. Peace"

There was no pressure, just total understanding. It was not sentimental but I would say that it was deep about values that matter to me. So, in that sense that's why it showed a lot of my soul, but I don't mean that it showed a lot of what I feel for him. You know what I mean.

He replied in the same night: "Your awesome".

I don't know if it means that he liked my email or if it's just an ordinary and polite answer. But maybe, considering the style of my email, he might have been speechless indeed and touched maybe because I really insisted on the fact, that spending quality time with him and his best friend would be enough for me. So, again. No pressure at all. I actually do not want anything to happen. I actually regret that we kissed.I said that he didn't owe me anything and that if that was the way he was feeling I accept it. I can't describe this email, but it was beautiful, deep, intelligent expressing my personnality and with a hint of humour at the end, suggesting that we just had to be friends.

In fact i feel strongly connected to this guy and I would do anything to win his heart even if the Aries in me has to learn pat

..even if the Aries in me has to learn patience ! I'd do that..

So what do you think ? Isn't there any virgo guys out here to help me understand !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1/ his email seems to indicate that he is not ready for a serious thing and doesn't want to get me involved in his life style ..
but I never asked him anything .. I just wanted to know him and yes, why not see if it would work.. but we only dated once ! and that was enough for him to decide that he'd rather not go too far with me. Does that mean that he really felt something strong about us? (Because it's true that I really felt something strong almost supernatural with him..)
2/ If he is promiscuous why would he want to protect me from that, does that mean that he likes me enough to not want to treat me that way ?
3/ Is it just a gentle way to let me know that he is not interested in me ?

I am going crazy !!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your reply. It feels good. I really don't want to push him. I feel so strongly connected to this guy even if I barely know him that I am ready to be the most patient aries in the world. I decided to wait for him to give me a sign, even if it takes months. And something tells me that it will. Right now, I am very busy with my work anyway and it doesn't hurt to not rush into any relationship or potential ones because I need to take care of myself. So it is perfect. See, this is so strange, everything I saw about him fits my personnality. When I walked into his apt it was so strange because it could have been my own. Exact same tastes in the way it was decorated, very neat, healthy food in the kitchen etc... We love the same kind of music. We're both into martial arts. Very creative energy. Sensuality, kindness and generosity... So many things that I saw, that I was like, is this for real..?

You have to know something very important to understand and relate with a Virgo ... they will always believe that there is someone or something out there better than them. Not meaning to sound like they don't have self-esteem or confidence ... rather, they are realistic, and the truth is .. there is ALWAYS someone better than them.

Once you get this down .. all the pieces will fall into place with trying to have a relationship.

So, my advice to you is to continue to reassure your Virgo how much you value them and what they bring. Make them aware of what you find within them is that beautiful, that is wholesome, that attracts you to them .. and in so doing, make sure they know that you don't measure them against another person, since this measurement that they do within themselves is reason for thier withdrawal in the first place.

"I don't compare you to another", tell him, "I look at you for you, and what I see is gorgeous."

Wow P-Angel

I will remember that. Thank you. What I see in him is gorgeous indeed. That's the first time in my life I feel something like that from the very first day I saw him. Incredible. Since I met this guy and dated him, I feel like a new person. And even if I was to never see him again, the transformation that took place within me is invaluable and is going to make me brighter and stronger everyday. It's hard to explain. It's the combination of what i've been through in my past and what I've felt instantaneously when I've been around him. Like he was everything i was looking for sor such a long time that I even forgot I was looking for that. And there he was. Magic. Beautiful.

My concern is that I've been reading a lot about virgo men this past month. And I found out that they have a tendency to be attracted to women who are not interested in them and on the other hand tend to back away from the women who show them they like them even if they're beautiful creatures.. But they also like to be reassured and appreciated and loved..so this is confusing. Did I already show him to much ? That would explain why he stays away from me...Shall I pretend I am not that much interested in him ? But then, how is this going to lead somewhere ...? And if he needs me to say such statement like the one you gave me "what I see in you is just you and it's gorgeous..." which is a beautiful thing to say, that would mean that he needs me to show that I really like him and nobody else..? I am confused. Maybe this is the kind of things to say when we are really together but not before ?...

I want this guy in my life for real. Even if i have to wait for a whole year and be just friend. I will do everything to not scare him away and slowly get him into falling in love with me. I know I will make him feel happy and strong and confident.

Aries and Virgo's can indeed make it in a relationship .. however, care has to be taken with the patience department on your end, for a Virgo moves very, very slowly in the development of a union, while the Ram feels compelled to push full-force ahead. Nobody's fault, just a difference between the two that is present.

Even in the beginning stages, the Virgo has to be reassured about how you value them ... for when they pull away and go MIA, which they WILL do, what they are contemplating is whether you are right for them, and they for you. If you let him pull away without knowing how you feel, then they might think you aren't right for them. However, maybe you should word it differently, so it doesnt' come out too overbearing or forceful.

Virgo's need tons and tons of time for reflection .. they just work this way. Feed him the words you want him to know about how you feel about him .. and leave him alone to ponder. Don't worry, he will be thinking about you, and how he feels about you.

"I've been reading a lot about virgo men .. they have a tendency to be attracted to women who are not interested in them and on the other hand tend to back away from the women who show them they like them even if they're beautiful creatures"

I can't relate to this .. for this has not been apart of my experiences with Virgo's. The ones I know don't operate from the ego in this aspect. Certainly, they have a huge ego in other departments, as we all do in some fashion .. but, not when it comes to attractions. Outside beauty isn't as important as being true on the inside to them.

Probably what was meant by the stuff you read was that when a Virgo is attracted to a person .. they pull away, way far away, because they HAVE to "think" about this potential union. So, in the eyes of a person who doesn't understand how a Virgo works, this may appear as though they aren't interested in someone to whom there is an attraction.

You can carry this to the bank, for it's the absolute truth .. if a Virgo is into you, attracted to you and he goes MIA .. he IS thinking about you, he IS still into you. Virgo's are the opposite from other people in this aspect ... if they are casual around you and are NOT going into their hybernation, then they aren't into you .. whereas if they pull away and go distant, they are into you.

Dont' worry about coming on too strong for now .. but, wait until he comes to you again before saying anything more. Again, patience !!

Thank you so much P-Angel for your insight. You make me feel so good ! I will do exactly as you said and will be the most patient person in the world. I am not such a typical aries anyway and I don't want to force things. I actually enjoy this period of my life where everything seems to fall into place and where I feel like I am letting go of all the negativity of past experiences and entering a shining stage of my life where I am finally going to be able to express and use my full potential. This man already makes me feel so strong he doesn't even know.. It's beautiful.

Also. I am fluent in English but it's not my language so I don't understant that expression "to go MIA". What does it mean ?

Oh, it's ... Missing In Action .. when the Virgo goes into his "thinking" mode, he will not be in contact with you.

Sorry 🙂 Sometimes I forget that there's language barriers in here.

You're welcome, and it's sound wonderful how he makes you feel. Feeling special and beautiful and wholesome is what life's all about, isn't it?

Hang in there .. keep smiling and spreading your warmth 🙂🙂 And love will find you.

Thanks ! Yes, life is all about feeling special, beautiful and wholesome !

I hope love will find me and I feel confident that it will ... I wish the same for you ! And plenty of beautiful things !

"and the truth is .. there is ALWAYS someone better than them."

this is so true P-Angel .. you just perfectly explained how a virgo really feels ..

when a man say they are not ready for anything .. i find this insane .. not a lie but insanely stubborn .. i've heard these lines from my ex-virgo .. and until now he still say the same thing with his gfs .. being patient doesn't just keep the relationship from burning .. passion to heat up and for love to never die .. respect that is .. it always takes two to tango .. if you're willing to be patient just be sure the man is being patient as well with you .. trusting they're not getting involved with other women that is ..

all i can say is that if someone say they're not ready for anything just YET .. this stage will really be a tough process of building a SOLID relationship .. it's like being at the passenger's seat and the man sitting at the driver seat do not even know how to start up the engine and drive .. now it's up to you to teach him how to step on the gas and turn the key .. and it's up to you to show him the directions where you want to go .. and trusting him you'll be safe .. just be sure you fasten your seat belt 'coz it's gonna be a bumpy ride .. you might even lose your life for taking that ride ..

no commitments .. mean no pressure .. no responsibilities .. no compromise .. no dramas .. freedom to choose whoever comes along .. no need to pay any price .. it's like teaching your heart to stop beating .. learning not to feel .. acting like you're not a human .. which is not reality and a human condition ..

vagabond, you're the one in control of the situation and not your virgo .. if things didn't go your way just the way you planned or what you're expecting it to be .. remember he's not responsible of you .. how much longer are you putting your life on-hold for all the uncertainties .. how much trust are you going to build to that person .. how much love are you willing to invest to that one person .. just be sure you don't lose yourself from loving .. best of luck 😉

Vgurl
thank you for your message. You're totally right. Right now, I am not rushing towards anything. Of course, this guy makes me feel good and I have some dreams about me and him, but I keep my head cool at the same time. If I see that it doesn't lead anywhere, I will not put my life on hold. I had my share of guys who don't know what they want. I have some hopes, but it's because I have that very strange intuition that it could work with this guy even if it seems so remote. Of course, my rational side also warns me that if my intuition is in fact just the expression of a strong desire and if it doesn't mean nothing else that what I wish deep down in my heart, well, i will remember your wise advice that I am responsible of my own life and that I owe myself to make the choice that will make me happy. I will give up, if I see that there is no potential here. Thanks again for your wisdom...