Aries woman confused??

Hi all! So to start off, I have Virgos all around me..my mother, grandmother, 2 of closest aunts, boss, a lot of close friends...I'm somehow drawn to them. Another to add to the list is a colleague of mine. I've known him going on almost 2 years now, he's not my manager but he is my superior - a senior person within my department. His birthday is the 1st September 1980 so he is 2.5 years older than me. To be completely honest, I didn't really notice him at first as I had a boyfriend at the time but a year ago was when I began to notice what seemed to be his interest in me. The staring, the flirting, the exclusive attention. As time has progressed, it seems to be getting more intense. He has a live in girlfriend who I know he's been dating for a couple of years and about 2 weeks ago I actually saw them having dinner together in my neighbourhood. As I walked past, I waved at him, he acknowledged me but he had what looked like panic in his eyes. At work the next week, we didn't speak for 3 days, we'd walk past each other without a hello, which is not normal for us. It did go back to normal eventually and we've had conversations since..but not once have either of us mentioned how we saw each other on the weekend. It's like an elephant in the room. He makes up excuses to talk to me, always somehow finds his way next to me at social functions, asks lots of questions, seems to know things about me that he could only know by listening in on conversations I have with others. The staring is so full on that another female colleague has noticed and when she told me, I had to pretend I had no idea what she was talking about :p I'm a little confused as I know this is a very generic question to ask...but what is the deal with Virgo men....can they stay happy with just one woman? I have no doubt he loves and cares for his girlfriend but it really seems he has a strong fascination with me. I feel trapped as I can't escape, I work with him and we're in each others faces every day. Am I reading too much into it? What are the sure fire signs when a Virgo man is interested in someone? I'm an Aries and a typical Aries at that, I can tell he appreciates my enthusiasm and energy. Any answers to my questions would be great 🙂

Yes...that's my whole point. He not only has a girlfriend but a girlfriend he lives with. I'm not sure whether I'm reading too much into his behaviour or not but my intuition is usually spot on and I'm confused as to what his intentions are with me. The way he flirts and stares with me is not only obvious to myself but like I said, others have noticed it and I'm just wondering whether it's typical male virgo behaviour to carry on this way? He doesn't seem to pay the same close attention to any of the other women in the office, he's a friendly guy but the way he acts around me...you've got to see it to know what I mean. It's not sleazy either, well I don't think it is, doesn't come across that way at all. But oh, the staring...it's full on!

Of course you are in the wrong here .... because you are the one responsible for your own actions.

What he does, whether he is available or not .. you have no control over. What he does is on him.


What you do is on you ... and you are fancying the attention of another woman's man ... and THAT makes you a douchebag.

To call him a name, such as douchebag, such as a person has done in here is as fucked up as it gets ... because that person is not here to defend himself, nor did he speak his truth.

what we heard was another persons interpretation of his motives, according to her observations and what she believes he means without ever telling her.



People in here can only address her, and make remarks about her .. to make a character assessment on him without ever hearing his voice, makes you to be a lower life form.

Thank you all for the responses.

"What you do is on you ... and you are fancying the attention of another woman's man ... and THAT makes you a douchebag." - I actually disagree with this, I think it makes me human. If I was to act on the attention that he gives me, then THAT would make me a douchebag. I'm not acting on it, I don't even flirt with him or gloat in his spotlight. I treat him in the same way I treat everyone else. But look, I won't lie, I am attracted to him, very much so but while he's still with his girlfriend, there is absolutely no way I would take anything further with him. I guess I'm just a little lost as to what he wants with me and what his intentions are. Without knowing for sure, I'm not sure how to act and how to be. I don't want to egg him on but I don't want us to not be friends either.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"I guess I'm just a little lost as to what he wants with me and what his intentions are. Without knowing for sure, I'm not sure how to act and how to be. I don't want to egg him on but I don't want us to not be friends either."


Ask him directly. He's a Virgo, he will answer. When he tells you again he lives with his girlfriend and he's in a relationship, it means you will be nothing more than a friend he enjoys being around. Then you act like a friend. If he says he's looking for something on the side, then that's what you will be if you "act" on it, nothing more. Either way, Virgo will tell you exactly what it is. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just find someone single?.. at least then it wouldn't be so confusing verses the caught up in the drama of the "what ifs" of a man in a serious relationship.

I agree. I may ask, I may not...as I mentioned, he is my superior at work so that's another little complication. Yes, it would be nice to find someone single but I do believe you can't control who you have feelings for. It's very much all easier said than done. But thanks, I will take the honest approach into consideration.

"he's not my manager but he is my superior - a senior person within my department." - that is what I believe I said. I understand it's a red flag...again, easier said than one. I didn't come here for a lecture, I came for a bit of insight. Thanks anyway.

I get that, I appreciate your input but you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I haven't done anything nor do I plan to. I believe there may have been opportunities where something could have happened and I've avoided it. Christmas party last year, at the beginning of the night, he followed me around like a lost puppy. When I didn't give him the attention he was obviously craving, he backed off...for the night anyway. There are a lot of specific examples I could type out that demonstrate his need for my attention and where I don't give in...hence I have done nothing to 'stop'. All I came here for was a bit of guidance into what he actually wants with me, I didn't come to get such harsh judgement placed on me - being called a 'douchebag' was just inappropriate and unnecessary from P-Angel. Anyway, I did appreciate your advice on perhaps asking him, I took it into consideration but I decided to not as he is a manager...I'm not going into this blindfolded, no matter what you may think. If you read my posts carefully, you will discover I have morals and a brain...so please, spare the lecture on 'reality'. I clearly know what the reality of the situation is...hence my confusion. Thank you.

Posted by 25thDecan
You aren't in the wrong here btw...he's just a d1ck wiho is showing huge signs that self control and monogamous maturity are NOT his strong points. He's a coward who wants to be single but thinks the sex and affection with his gf is "the way to be".

Thanks man! I'm really grateful for your objective view on this...I actually think you may be onto something...this seems quite spot on to what he seems to be thinking. It's not as black and white as what some people like to believe.

I totally agree with you..I AM caught up in a fantasy that doesn't exist, it's part of the issue I have. I believe a fantasy is ok if it's being left at that, a fantasy. But everyday I come into work, he's there and he's flirting and staring away, literally asking me questions that he should know the answers to (making up excuses to talk to me), it seems as though the fantasy line is in danger of being crossed. And you know what? I don't think I could succumb to the temptation as I have been in a similar situation to his current girlfriend where my live in manager boyfriend was adored by so many young, attractive girls at his work. The difference between me and them is that they acted on their lust and attraction, not respecting that there was a relationship there. The feeling I felt when I heard through the grapevine that he had cheated on me with one of these girls while I was overseas was a feeling I wish upon no other, it was dreadful. So, yeah, there's temptation, but I don't think I could ever succumb. My confusion is that this man seems to take his job VERY seriously, he's about to win a major award next week from the CEO for his dedication and accomplishments, his image and reputation is highly regarded by him so I'm lost as to why he acts the way he does when there is so much at stake? It doesn't seem like he could just be willing to lose it all over sex with a colleague? And this is not something that just started, this is over a year in the making and quite frankly, I'm beginning to feel rather petrified. So I apologise if I seem on the irate side.

"What does matter is..isn't your self worth important enough to believe that you could be with someone who wants you for himself without a two year live in girlfriend?" - I agree with this too wholeheartedly. So much so, it's a nail on the head and it makes me a little sad.

I gave your suggestion a lot of thought. It is something that could be done and it seems like a smart thing to do, however, because of my feelings for him, I'm not sure whether I could pull it off successfully. I'll think about it. And I don't think he's purposefully trying to make me feel the way I'm feeling, he really wouldn't have any idea of the true extent of my feelings but when a man wants a woman sexually, they surely don't go out of their way to interact with them do they? I don't know, just confused. Thanks so much for all of your help though!