Aries woman, Virgo man, HELP!

So I've been reading forums on this site, and I must say, very interesting!
So...I met my virgo sweetheart when I was about 13 and started dating him at about 14. Our relationship was very pure,and extremely intimate. I was virgin at the time, and even though he was already sexually active at the time, he never pressured me in to anything, when made my love him intensify. We were really good together, he made me feel soo safe, as I had a turbulent upbringing. He was always so understanding of my situation in terms of my mother who was extremely protective of me, he did everything in his power to work around that....in short our relationship was honest, loving and pretty much perfect. When we split I was mortified, we split over the most immature BS, looking. I begged and begged for months on end, but he wouldn't let up, his mind was made up and that was that. I vowed that if God willed he came back to me, I would take him back in a heartbeat even if I was with someone else at the time.
I ended up loosing my virginity to a guy that looked and reminded me very much of my handsome V, but he ended up being an absolute asshole.
When I met my ex, things at home were really bad, and I decided to leave and he took me in, he helped me financially and helped me get my own place. After about a year things between us became really rocky and we decided to take a break, during this break I thought about V a lot, so I decided to contact him( I knew his house number off head, thank god it hadn't changed, lol). I was so scared when I called because I didn't know how he'd react, but he was pleasantly surprised to hear from, and he said that he too had been looking for me. So we spoke A LOT, and met up a few times and I just felt real, it felt how it did when we were younger, well this happened when I was about 16/17, so maybe not that much younger lol, but still. There was one time where maybe lines were crossed, and against my better judgement I stopped and told him I couldn't bcause of S (he knew about before we started meeting up) and everything he has done for me, I couldn't do that him, he was going through a lot ( which he was) and if would be wrong etc, he just said he understood and he appreciates me even more. We kept in touch but we spoke less n less, from that day we just stopped meeting up. My relationship became complicated, and extremely violent, I realised I didn't love him, like I thought I did I felt more for V in the month I wAs speaking to him, than *

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Than I did for S. I left him after my 18th birthday.
A couple months later I tried V again, and he was happy to hear from me again, and so was I. I decided to keep it friendly and move with that and see how it went. We still spoke in the same way, nothing there changed, he told me he had a girlfriend and my heart fell straight into my stomach, I told him I was 'happy' for him and kept our relationship platonic,he did the same. He started working in west end which is not too far from my house, so I used to see him often on weekends, after he finished work, we would just chill eat, smoke a little, just talk really. Every time he would tell me he was coming round I would get serious butterflies, made sure I looked nice, not too nice that I was obvious I had made and effort, but an effort was made. This went on for a couple months and I got comfortable longing for him, but keeping it inside, still being friends. He got comfortable with me again, and love the way he was with me. He tried to put it on me one time while we were chilling together, and out of shock and confusion I rejected him, reminded him that he had a gf and things were awkward for a bit. I know he had gf, but I regretted it deeply, I cried and cried. He showed up at mine one day, and I felt so much want, need and passion and he took me there and then and I let him I wanted him to, it was beautiful.
After that I was left wide open and I needed him more than ever, not because of the sex, but because I knew how happy he could make me. I told him I wanted to be with him for real, but he retreAted and told me his gf was going through a lot and she nEeded him and he couldn't do that to her etc.
FAst forward......haven't spoken 2 him since that day, and we got in contact last october, I told him I hAve a son ( who is now 10 months old), he went quiet, but ended up congratulating me and telling me he's sure I'm going to be a good mother, and he apologised for how he treated me back then. So anyway we were reminiscing and I got so overwhelmed and told him that I still felt the same about him, and he was really stunned. I know he has had problem with girls that just Get really obsessed with him without him leading them on, this I know is true and this has put him off having a gf, which is understandable. He told me that he still has 'mad love' for me after 7 years and tht ppl he classes as his close friends, I known him longer, he said tht so much has changed n that I probably wou