Confused about what to do.

me (aqua) and my virgo boyfriend recently have had some verbal disagreements and argue about stuff which bothers me. we have been going out for about 4 months now. we usually never argue about anything but just in the last week or so i felt things going bad in his mind. i recently started feeling insecure about the relationship because he said that his mom wanted him to date someone from his background.. he said he wasn't interested in that but sometimes he says he thinks she's right, its like he keeps changing his mind. i started getting worried about what would happen between us someday and wanted to be more closer to him.. so i ended up talking to him about this issue a whole lot and we would end up in small arguments but we'd get over it soon. recently he told me.. he thinks im insecure and shouldnt act the way i do... when i call him.. he tries to talk but seems annoyed that i call him as much as i do...sometimes i call him just to hear his voice but end up saying nothing. i feel awkward because it seems like im getting needy but i just want things the way the were before we got in arguments. i dont know how to fix this. should i give him space or talk to him about how i feel again? he also says that he is really stressed about university starting in september and that he doesn't need more problems to deal with. i feel like im pushing him away. i need virgo advice

Jesus, he sounds so self centered. my virgo friend is pretty self centered as well. Out of curiosity because i am also interested in a virgo but also a bit weary due to our astrological compatibility. What are is your natal chart and his?

Well, that's odd. My aqua (who I'm back with, again) is fairly distant, I'm the needy Virgo. Aquas are noted for their "I don't care either way" attitude, totally aloof. It's like you're doing some role reversal over there.
BTW: Virgos and Aquas argue all the time and an aqua won't back down and won't bury the hatchet either, very difficult.

hi sv! i guess i'm not suprised both intellectual signs and do things differently= chaos. What are your placements anyways? i have a interest in a virgo..who has a aqua moon, libra rising, scorpio in venus...im all air. I'm worried about our future connection. do you mind sharing specific examples of arguments etc?

I think that as long as he's caught in his mother's expectations he will always find a way to feel guilty about being with you. He needs to learn to let go of the entitled expectations of others—as all other Virgos need to—and strive to live according to his own.

However, if you tell him this theres a good chance he'd push away. I say this mostly because people tend to point everything out to their partners in an irate, accusatory fashion. I have my younger, Virgo sister with an Aries moon to thank for this conclusion. No one appreciates being accused of anything that way even if its true. But even the softest delivery can rouse an ill reaction simply because the initial truth hurts.

This is something he must come to on his own if thats the case.

@ sv: i used to be like that before.. i was quite distant and took things really slow and easy even though he was pushing for more everyday and telling me i was everything to him. but after what happened.. i turned out to be a lot more worried about everything than him

@ candi: i checked the natal chart and mine is: sun: aquarius, moon: taurus, venus: aquarius. and his is: sun: virgo, moon: virgo and venus: libra. im not sure what it all means but maybe you can put some insight

@ amandus: i think he feels guilty, but he always told me that he wanted me enough to not care about what anyone thinks.. and he goes for what he wants no matter what. i was unsure about it at the beginning myself but i let him in because of his persistance. now he discusses the matter about his mom more often and it just bothers me. i dont want to be the naggy gf and tell him its bothering me too much

Oh you guys are compatible. The sun isn't as strong in Aquarius signs and usually Aquarius folks run highly off their moon and rising. (please give rising signs🙂 )

Astrological compatibility includes: Venus (how one relates emotionally to others, love etc), moon (unconscious innate emotions, desires, decisions), mercury (planet of communication)One would match their s/o Venus, moon, mercury to their own.

Venus: aqua+ Libras are highly compatible (Google the compatibility)
Moon: Virgo + Taurus is pretty high up there
Mercury: ?

@ candi: im not sure what rising signs are but this is mine:
Sun Aquarius
Moon Taurus
Mercury Capricorn
Venus Aquarius
Mars Gemini
Jupiter Leo
Saturn Capricorn
Uranus Capricorn
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Sagittarius
Asc node Capricorn
and his:
Sun Virgo
Moon Virgo
Mercury Libra
Venus Libra
Mars Virgo
Jupiter Cancer
Saturn Capricorn
Uranus Capricorn
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Libra
Asc node Aquarius

i'll inbox you

Posted by 25thDecan
"His mom told him...."...run. if this person is over 22yrs thereabouts...run. his mother is his nurturer. As such...she's the one who has established in his personality that people can bbe "quantified"..in tiers. Dangerous. Don't be abused because he gets hard on the chick his mom won't let him have. Even IF he truly cares..he needs to get it together and let go of mom's bullshit. Be your own person.

+1

Quit arguing about something you can't change, arguing only makes the relationship seem wrong as in you believe what his mother is saying too which can actually work against you.

IMHO His mom is not the issue, he is, his mom is being clear and precise and giving him direction so her words and maternal power is taking the power from you and now it's 2 against you.

If you want to appear stronger than his mom, don't act scared, don't act needy, don't chase him by calling him all the time, BE COOL, just let him see you understand his mom but this is OUR RELATIONSHIP and WE decide what's best for us. You have to trump mom by showing him you can be just as clear and strong willed as she is. Never fight with mom and never fight with him about mom, stand your ground and don't budge.

Be firm about not discussing his issues with his mom, don't be over bearing by smothering him with attention, his mom does enough "smothering" as it is and let him CHOOSE, let him come to you because if he's not seeking you out without you having to nudge and chase him then it's over anyway, he has to take the initiative to be the one that actively chooses to be in the relationship with you or you lose him anyway, there really isn't much you can do or say to make him love you more and want you despite your ethnicity and arguing with him inevitably stack deck against you.

So chill out, stop all the unattractive behavior and go find something to do, stop worrying about something you can't control, you'll always be who you are and that's that and if he can't see past that then you shouldn't want him or any man that can't accept you as you are.

I don't believe his mom is the problem in so much as the outsider can't win against mom so it's best not to go there IMHO, if she make it about his mom and not about him then he's completely absolved from the situation and can't be held responsible for his choice so at this point it's about understanding and accepting his mom is prejudice and yet not giving the prejudice power over her relationship with him, he chose her as a partner, he knew what her skin looked like and he knew his mom wouldn't be happy with his choice, many men don't do what their mom's want them to do so it's not mom that's the problem, mom is expressing her opinion but he has the final say on whether he agree with her or not agree with his mom so it all comes back to HIM.

If he hasn't cut the apron strings, if he hasn't figured out who he is as a man then it makes it easier for his mom to influence him, she can't win against mom so don't even try. If he's a gutless coward because he can't do what he feel is right for him then that's enough to move on and not fight something she can't change, she'll never change her skin color and thus there is a good chance the relationship won't work unless he defy moms wishes and use his own mind and strength to move forward despite what mom says.

Posted by 25thDecan
^we're saying the same thing. Wow...did I just agree with an aqua? I needs a beer....

LOL! YAY!

Posted by candi3bb
hi sv! i guess i'm not suprised both intellectual signs and do things differently= chaos. What are your placements anyways? i have a interest in a virgo..who has a aqua moon, libra rising, scorpio in venus...im all air. I'm worried about our future connection. do you mind sharing specific examples of arguments etc?

Sorry for not replying earlier.

We argue about almost everything. We are politically different (she's more right wing, I'm quite liberal on most issues). I consider myself very rational, she comes across as more emotionally directed. She values what other people think, I don't care about that much. Problems arise when we are both annoyed but I try to agree to disagree, she doesn't let it go. She has different life experiences with people which differ from mine and I can tell she is furious when our views don't align.
We've known each other for 9 months so we have a good idea about each other, there is some hope though - we both make effort to get along and it has been better.

It's a very odd match and there are many times when we agree to end it but never do because we seem to be inseparable - on most days we talk 6 hours straight. We both love each other and she does understand me, the good times between us are incredible (and I'm not just talking about sex here). I'd like to spend my life with her if it's possible but she seems very flighty - saying what kind of girls to watch out for and I'd reply with "why does this matter at all, I'm with you".

I'm Rising Virgo, Sun Virgo, Moon Pisces, Mercury Virgo, Venus Libra, Mars Sagittarius. Don't know hers yet, I will find out.

Posted by tiki33
I don't believe his mom is the problem in so much as the outsider can't win against mom so it's best not to go there IMHO, if she make it about his mom and not about him then he's completely absolved from the situation and can't be held responsible for his choice so at this point it's about understanding and accepting his mom is prejudice and yet not giving the prejudice power over her relationship with him, he chose her as a partner, he knew what her skin looked like and he knew his mom wouldn't be happy with his choice, many men don't do what their mom's want them to do so it's not mom that's the problem, mom is expressing her opinion but he has the final say on whether he agree with her or not agree with his mom so it all comes back to HIM.

If he hasn't cut the apron strings, if he hasn't figured out who he is as a man then it makes it easier for his mom to influence him, she can't win against mom so don't even try. If he's a gutless coward because he can't do what he feel is right for him then that's enough to move on and not fight something she can't change, she'll never change her skin color and thus there is a good chance the relationship won't work unless he defy moms wishes and use his own mind and strength to move forward despite what mom says.

Perfectly said.
This isn't about signs either. My SO is from a different racial background (Asian) and while one of my parents has a few reservations about that, they have zero say about it (and know it). If they'd complain, I wouldn't take it seriously.
That guy is a loser though, don't waste much time on him. Alternatively, the "mom argument" might just be an excuse to break up...